A (not so) hypothetical...

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exegete

exegete

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Dec 23, 2018
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My Tiny Apartment
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
 
Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Mat 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Mat 10:39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
 
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exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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Too many variations to make a serious comment in my opinion............
 
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exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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That is the difference between God and those who claim to follow God. No matter what situation you find yourself in, God will never forsake you. People on the other hand, no matter their title (believer - non believer) have a tendency to pass judgement and separate themselves. People are more concerned about the status quo and their own image, than about being a brother/sister in Christ.

This Grace message we keep reading about in so many threads really is a trick of our Adversary. So many believe they can do whatever and will still be welcomed by God. I am always reminded about what God says on the Day of Judgement: so-called believers will claim, I cast out demons in your Name, I did this and did that. But what does God reply with? I NEVER KNEW YOU, DEPART FROM ME!!

When I see situations like what this young man is facing, and his so-called brothers and sisters in Christ just turn their backs on him, I see God on judgement Day doing the SAME to them!!
 
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Let God be true though every man is false.

Lean not on the arm of flesh……….
 
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exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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I would remind him that human beings are faulty and not to be trusted in 100% .. But He can be assured that God can be trusted 100% ..

Yes the feelings of being forsaken by humans is sadly not rare.. I have felt it myself.. That's why we should focus on our relationship with God and base our confidence on Him only..
 
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exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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Remind him that at one point in time everyone forsook JESUS and that even though the hypocrites in his church forsook him while he endured the issue at hand, JESUS will never leave us or forsake us....There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother...JESUS being that friend...........
 
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exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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One would "think", with a not SO "hypothetical?" One would be more forthcoming, and not so ambiguous! :(
 
exegete said:
His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with.
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Everyone in the church turned their backs??? This young man had no friends in the church, not even one person (even though "he spent nearly his life" with them)??? All his friends from his years in the church ... none of them prayed for him???

The young man in your (not so) hypothetical could read Scripture focusing those who found themselves in the same situation. Psalms is good. David wrote about his times when he was pursued by his enemies. David was a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22) who wrote wonderful psalms.

The young man could also get involved in prison ministry. A good way to handle "abandonment" is to get involved in helping others through ministry.
 
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Yea not sure what to respond as many churches do have prison ministries. Even the 'mainstream' ones.
Also Was reading this book called 'Angel in aisle 3' about a convicted man who did go to prison, who clung to his faith and ended up spreading the gospel in the prison. Sure there were some people who shunned him but his wife and the friends he made that God sent were church to him.

If you know this young man, then YOU are church to him. Many people dont quite know how to handle it when someone they know is in prison or might not even know he was falsely acccused. Remember Jesus never leaves nor forsakes us...even when our own family can why because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Tell the people in this church that they need to pray for him. As the Bible does say pray for those in bonds just like Jesus asked his disciple to pray for him as he faced crucifixtion, and Peter and Paul were also locked up and writing from prison.
 
In 2 Tim 4:16-17 Paul wrote At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear

So Paul was forsaken by all and he prayed that their forsaking him would not be laid against them by God. Paul relied on the Lord standing with him, strengthening him.

Paul spent his time in prison writing letters to the churches, which we read to this day.

While no one likes to be abandoned / forsaken by others, we can either harden our hearts and become bitter or we can turn to the Lord and acknowledge that He continues to stand with us and strengthen us. And sometimes it takes abandonment by others around us to get to the point where we rely solely on God and see that He is with us continuously, strengthening us, guiding us, helping us in good times and in times of adversity.



 
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As I read through the answers her and the original OP it made me think of something...........You know.....JESUS was innocent when he was nailed to the cross and lifted up between two men who were guilty of the crimes they have committed...when all the facts are taken into account and all scriptures it becomes obvious that these guys were identified with Barabbas' group of insurrectionists....They were guilty of thievery and murder....and the words of the one thief testify to their GUILT and getting a JUST punishment.......His words are equally clear concerning the innocence of JESUS......

I cannot recall JESUS condemning them, calling them criminals or even saying they were losers, but I do remember him accepting the one that acknowledged him by the word Lord and remember me in your kingdom......too bad the people of God sometimes lift themselves up while looking down their noses at the less desirable of society..........

Gotta love the righteous hey............
 
I've actually heard of a true situation in the church I call my home church. Though I wasn't attending when this happened.

An 18 yr old boy was seeing a 16 yr old female in the same church. Not sure if her parents were aware. She gets pregnant and the young boy is arrested for molesting a minor. Charges were pressed and now the boy is on the "list".

Is this fair?

I say no.
 
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dcontroversal said:
As I read through the answers her and the original OP it made me think of something...........You know.....JESUS was innocent when he was nailed to the cross and lifted up between two men who were guilty of the crimes they have committed...when all the facts are taken into account and all scriptures it becomes obvious that these guys were identified with Barabbas' group of insurrectionists....They were guilty of thievery and murder....and the words of the one thief testify to their GUILT and getting a JUST punishment.......His words are equally clear concerning the innocence of JESUS......

I cannot recall JESUS condemning them, calling them criminals or even saying they were losers, but I do remember him accepting the one that acknowledged him by the word Lord and remember me in your kingdom......too bad the people of God sometimes lift themselves up while looking down their noses at the less desirable of society..........

Gotta love the righteous hey............
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Jesus words from the cross: Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).

And what about when Jesus told Peter he was going to forsake Him, and Peter claimed he would die before he ever denied Him (Matt 26:34-35). Then when the pressure was on, Peter denied him and when he remembered what Jesus told him, he wept bitterly (Matt 26:75).

Sometimes I read through Scripture and I see the great men and women of faith and I wonder if I was ever in their shoes would I stand firm like they did. I always pray in my heart of hearts that I would be victorious in every situation, but I also know in my heart of hearts I could fall like Peter. And yet, God still loves me and when I fail, He comforts me and when I stand firm in faith, He does the same. What a wonderful Father!!! What a wonderful Lord and Savior!!! We are so blessed!!!




 
stonesoffire said:
I've actually heard of a true situation in the church I call my home church. Though I wasn't attending when this happened.

An 18 yr old boy was seeing a 16 yr old female in the same church. Not sure if her parents were aware. She gets pregnant and the young boy is arrested for molesting a minor. Charges were pressed and now the boy is on the "list".

Is this fair?

I say no.
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One of my sons was dating a 16 yo when he was a senior in high school. He was 18 at the time.

For his 18th birthday, his 16 yo girlfriend's present was a weekend trip to San Diego to attend a teen Bible fellowship. Her parents were all in favor of this little "trip" and couldn't understand why my husband and I were not so happy with the gift.

Also, this same son of ours hung out with a couple of buddies whose parents allowed coed sleepovers ... yep, girls and boys spending the night together ... what could go wrong???

We wouldn't allow our son to spend the night. We made him come home at midnight. He chafed and argued with us. He insisted we were "ruining his life". One of the other parents even asked our son "what's wrong with your parents? don't they trust you?"

When he told us what the parents had said, my husband told him "we trust you. we trust you to act like a teenage boy. you're not spending the night."

It was pretty rough, but we got through. Thank God for wisdom to give us answers when our teenagers come home with inane ideas from unbelievers.



 
exegete said:
There was a Christian young man in a mainstream denominational church. He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial. His church family (400+) turned their back on him during this time and refused to have anything to do with him. Needless to say, he felt abandoned by his church family that he spent nearly his life with. How would you counsel this young man on dealing with his feelings of being forsaken by those who are supposed to be Christ's ambassadors?
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Assuming the members of the Church were living properly, I would ask him if he was guilty. If he confessed, then I would say they have not forsaken you. You have forsaken them.
Now of course this wouldn't apply to todays times. As the original Church, Jesus and the disciples, were nothing like the mainstream churches of today. Not even remotely close.
 
reneweddaybyday said:
Jesus words from the cross: Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).

And what about when Jesus told Peter he was going to forsake Him, and Peter claimed he would die before he ever denied Him (Matt 26:34-35). Then when the pressure was on, Peter denied him and when he remembered what Jesus told him, he wept bitterly (Matt 26:75).

Sometimes I read through Scripture and I see the great men and women of faith and I wonder if I was ever in their shoes would I stand firm like they did. I always pray in my heart of hearts that I would be victorious in every situation, but I also know in my heart of hearts I could fall like Peter. And yet, God still loves me and when I fail, He comforts me and when I stand firm in faith, He does the same. What a wonderful Father!!! What a wonderful Lord and Savior!!! We are so blessed!!!
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One of the reasons I believe in eternal security....NONE of us will EVER measure up to God's standard.....exactly why we would ALL cook if not for the IMPUTED righteousness of Christ by FAITH and being born if incorruptible SEED from above, eternally by the word of God which lives and abides forever.....

The mercy of the LORD endures for ever the bible states....
 
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dcontroversal said:
One of the reasons I believe in eternal security....NONE of us will EVER measure up to God's standard.....exactly why we would ALL cook if not for the IMPUTED righteousness of Christ by FAITH and being born if incorruptible SEED from above, eternally by the word of God which lives and abides forever.....

The mercy of the LORD endures for ever the bible states....
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God's plan of redemption is so magnificent ... if we cannot work to earn the salvation God gives freely through grace, what work can we ever do to maintain the salvation God gives freely through grace?



 
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exegete said:
He was accused of a rather serious crime and jailed pending trial.
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is he guilty? is the church assuming he is?

what is he perceiving as 'being forsaken' - no one visiting him while he waits for trial? or something else?
 
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