Appointments and disappointments

[Lanolin]

I was thinking on this especially for singles how do we deal with appointments and disppointments?

I find it hard to deal with disappointment. I set a date to do something, and for whatever reason it may not happen, and then I am disappointed, but I have learned that sometimes you just need to postpone things a little. Maybe the date you set was just too soon.

I also dont like disappointing people, but sometimes it needs to be done because you arent prepared or ready and you need to be patient. Because Gods timing is always right.

It is like planting seeds before spring. Dont do it. The moment you do, a frost will come and kill all your plants.

It is better late than never. I think sometimes its hard to be right on time for everything. For some people, they get angry when people are a minute late and then drag their feet about everything else. So how do you deal with that? Do you work to your own timetable or do you try to accomodate everyone else? What are some strategies or tips to deal with all the appointments and disappointments in life?

 

[tourist]

I try always to be prompt if I'm expected somewhere but there is also such a thing as unforeseen circumstances that may delay or postpone arrival.

 

[Miri]

I’ve tried to accommodate everyone else for far too long, only to
realise I’m the only one doing it! I’ve run myself into the ground trying
to be there for everyone but it’s never reciprocated or appreciated.

Now I prioritise what I must do, anything else is a bonus.

 

[laughingheart]

All of it ties back to expectations. When we put the pressure on ourselves to be perfect we are setting ourselves up for failure. We also tend to visit the same pressure on other people. We need to show mercy to others and ourselves. You can have high standards but how do your react if it doesn't happen? How do you talk to yourself? Do you berate yourself? Judge yourself? If things don't work, how does it affect you? Keep the appointments and have realistic expectations.

 

[Lanolin]

I had a boss who had high expectations that were totally unrealistic. If I was a minute or two late, he would say 'good afternoon' and be sarcastic. If I didnt pull out every weed he would then point that out, but then when I took my time to make sure I got every single weed, he said I worked too slow.

That drove me and everyone else nuts. So many people left the company. So, maybe all the people they hired were disappointments to them. Except for himself of course, he was perfect. He would say if its not perfect then dont do it at all. So in the end we just didnt do it and we left. Is this OCD?!

 

[EliBeth]

Well, I try to focuse on God instead of the problem and remind myself that God is Sovereign. That does not relieve us from personal responsibility, of course not. But we are finite beings who have limited control. He, on the other hand, is infinite and has supreme authority. At times it is appropriate to rest in this assurance if we've done (all of) what we knew to do according to Him, even if we have left others disappointed. We were not made to be men-pleasers, but God-pleasers. When we begin to be consumed by others' opinions of us, they become an idol in our life. Everything we do should be unto God. A big lesson I'm learning is choosing not to worry about disappointing others as long as I'm obeying God. Do be sensitive to them and open to their input, maybe they do have a legitimate point. But ask God for wisdom. If you have done right by God and they still aren't pleased, sadly it is their problem (I don't say that in a snotty way, just truthfully).
Too, remember that God is gracious and merciful! Forgive yourself and move on if your or others' disappointment re: yourself is founded. The deceiver tries to drag us down with guilt and accusations! But tell God your disappointments and shortcomings and look forward, repenting if necessary. (Romans 8:1)
It's good to set goals for ourselves and work to meet them, but we must include God in on our goal setting, considering what His will is. But we also have to make sure we are depending on His strength to meet them too, I think. He wants to help and wants us to ask for help. He wants us to know it is because of him that we are even able to lift a finger. 😌 Then praise Him when He does help!

I hope this was relevant! ♥️

I had a similar situation with a boss. It irritated me greatly that I just couldn't please her! I tried so hard! But then I think my objective became attaining her approval..so I put her before God and associated failure with everything I did because she often mentioned something that I just didn't do quite right. It stole my peace. I neglected to depend on Him and look to Him as I should have. 😔 That was hard. But tests refine us! Hopefully, I learned some things.

 

[Lanolin]

I think pleasing God is more important than pleasing man, and yes as you say if some people are disappointed, it is their problem. They even might be angry at you. Which is sometimes why I avoid them because who wants to be in conflict and argumentative. Im not the kind of person who thinks they are always right, but I know if God wants me to do or not do something, I obey regardless of what anyone else might think. Cos its a conviction.

Sometimes you may have to do something first and ask forgiveness later.

As for keeping appointments I dont like to let anyone down, if I say I will be there I will be there. If Im going to be late I will txt. But also, for others, if they are a bit late dont come down like a tonne of bricks, there are unforseen circumstances unless they make a regular habit of it. I would always give someone 5-10 minutes leeway and allow for things like getting lost, finding a park etc.

I guess everyone needs to learn patience! My boss was not the most patient person, even heard him say chop chop, time is money! Then I would say you are learning patience with me and smile.

Lol it didnt work all the time though, I really think he had issues with perfectionism. But hey even the Queen is gracious, she doesnt blow up at people for not having her standards met, she would just say 'we are no amused' and leave it at that. And Im sure she wouldnt have road rage while driving like my boss did.

There were actually some good things about my former boss but patience was one thing he seriously lacked. I think some people are so used to snapping their fingers and have stuff happen that when it doesnt, they get uptight.

 

[Lanolin]

Theres a story in Nemehiah about rebuilding the temple and how they got it done in a short time after it having not been completed for years cos someone had been stalling the project. Thats when I get frsutrated that maybe just one person is stopping everything from going ahead as it ought to be for some petty reason.

There comes a point when delaying something is demoralising cos then people are just waiting around doing nothing until someone gets their act together. But other times its just being diligent and making sure everything is right before you even start ...good foundation, groundwork etc. maybe takes a bit of discernment between those two types of delays.

 

[EliBeth]

Yeah, I definitely don't like to be late either. 😌

 

[Lanolin]

Jesus was late....
LAzarus had died by the time he got there and Mary and Martha were disappointed....he didnt even have an excuse!

Although at others times he would say 'my time has not yet come'

He also told the discples to 'tarry' i.e wait around. If they didnt wait in Jeruslaem they wouldnt receive the holy spirit.

I dont think there was ever a time when Jesus let anyone down though. In the bigger scheme of things.

Abraham and Sarah waited, what, like 40 years to have their first child. So really, whats a few years? If GOd had promised you something, He will do it, and He is faithful to do it. On our part we must be patient and keep the faith.

 

[1christian1]

I was thinking on this especially for singles how do we deal with appointments and disppointments?

I find it hard to deal with disappointment. I set a date to do something, and for whatever reason it may not happen, and then I am disappointed, but I have learned that sometimes you just need to postpone things a little. Maybe the date you set was just too soon.

I also dont like disappointing people, but sometimes it needs to be done because you arent prepared or ready and you need to be patient. Because Gods timing is always right.

It is like planting seeds before spring. Dont do it. The moment you do, a frost will come and kill all your plants.

It is better late than never. I think sometimes its hard to be right on time for everything. For some people, they get angry when people are a minute late and then drag their feet about everything else. So how do you deal with that? Do you work to your own timetable or do you try to accomodate everyone else? What are some strategies or tips to deal with all the appointments and disappointments in life?

I don't know, for me. I am always on time when I say I am going to be and do what I say I am going to do,. That is what being a responsible adult means to me...

 

[Lanolin]

I don't know, for me. I am always on time when I say I am going to be and do what I say I am going to do,. That is what being a responsible adult means to me...

Amazing, like how on time. To the minute? Second? According to your own watch? You dont ever encounter any delays, with either yourself or anyone else? Or God? After all a thousands years to Him is just one day....

Lets synchronise our watches. Wouldnt it be nice if it only ever rained at nightime and not during the day when you are out and got no umbrella. How are you with children? You dont ever get shunted into a schedule thats unrealistic? Have you ever worked at a factory where you had to clock in your hours?

 

[Dino246]

Jesus was late....
LAzarus had died by the time he got there and Mary and Martha were disappointed....he didnt even have an excuse!

Most people miss this little detail: after being told that Lazarus was sick, Jesus stayed where He was for two more days. By the time He got to Bethany, where Lazarus had lived, Lazarus had been dead for four days. Even if He had left immediately, He still would have arrived two days after Lazarus died.

Personally, I endeavor to be "on time" to appointments (and usually a few minutes early), but for things like meeting for lunch, I may be a minute or two late. The same thing happens with the people I meet; we don't worry about it. For more important events, I expect others to be on time, and expect a brief apology (without explanation) if they are late.

I don't explain my own tardiness unless someone specifically inquires, and I don't ask others. I would rather simply give or receive an apology and move on. Explanations usually come across as excuses, and are usually lame. I know that life throws us curveballs, but most can be avoided with proper planning.

 

[Lanolin]

Hmm well funny i should be posting this as a big fire broke out in town and my planned school trip was cancelled. I am going to have to go to plan B. I hate disappointing people. I am not sure if plan B is going to work though, either that or we go another day....Lord help me!

 

[1christian1]

Amazing, like how on time. To the minute? Second? According to your own watch? You dont ever encounter any delays, with either yourself or anyone else? Or God? After all a thousands years to Him is just one day....

Lets synchronise our watches. Wouldnt it be nice if it only ever rained at nightime and not during the day when you are out and got no umbrella. How are you with children? You dont ever get shunted into a schedule thats unrealistic? Have you ever worked at a factory where you had to clock in your hours?

As for the weather. Their is a thing on google that shows a five day forecast. As for children, I take my daughter to school every day. When we lived in Denver her school was 18 miles one way. If weather was bad (which in the Colorado winter was most days ) I left early.As well as my work. If got arrived early I sat in my car and waited for the time of my appointment. And when you are late to a client it seems to them that every minute is a thousand! LOL...

 

[Lanolin]

We're going another day..I havent worked out plan B yet. Maybe there is never a plan B cos that would mean compromising. Maybe its always plan A but just delayed plan A.

The day hasnt been decided though. I would really hated if we reached the. End of the school year and nobody gets to go...then I would be disappointed. But more so the school children cos they wont get to go if its their last year.

A five day forecast doesnt include a random fire in town that closes down traffic and businesses all around town. Or earthquakes, that actually occur quite often. Or...random shootings. Apparently the fire was started by a worker who left his welding machine on while he went off to smoko. You know he was probably fired for that....

Interesting thing is, insurance companies call earthquakes and extreme weather acts of God. Our God do you reckon...or other gods?

 

[Lanolin]

Ok, for God a thousand years is as one day, so why is it for man a day is like a thousand years...?!

For lateness, do people have excuses or do they just shrug their shoulders. For some people who are chronically late you just cant do anything about it. There was one lady at church who always arrived late, not just a few minutes, but after the notices and even past the first song. If you asked her to a movie even picking her up she would fluff around and never be on time. And if she had a bible study, reason I dont go anymore, is she would want to keep talking over time till it was 10 oclock and you had to remind her well I do have to work the next day.

Oh and dont get me started on meetings where it just goes on and on and on...i either fall asleep or have to say right at the beginning I have to leave at 9. And get up and leave even if everyone else is still talking. In my world meetings should never take more than an hour. Otherwise instead of taking minutes you are just taking hours.

 

[Lanolin]

I am feeling disappointed right now cos the DP has pulled out of my planned trip which means NOBODY can go. She said maybe next year. Um 3 of those students wont be here next year.

And they have already paid.

I am seriously disappointed and feel let down. Her excuse? Too busy from now on. It is just ONE day. If I can take just one day out of my busy schedule, she can too. Not sure what to do, but am hoping I can go and take the students without her.

Lord, it is one thing to let ME down. I can handle it, well mostly. Its another thing entirely to let a child down. i want to make good my word. I am not about over promising and under delivering.

 

[Mii]

Ah tardiness...my old foe.


I'm excellent when committed. Terrible when wishy washy. I can guess the time accurately enough so I usually roll with that. I know the Lord helps a lot with that so I'm not going to claim the credit. I am probably the most accurate with driving estimates, or anything related to movement as far as variables are concerned.


I'm not going to bulk post right now but we have had a battle most of my life. I don't like the constriction of time. It applies across the board. To some it is sacred. To some is a prison. I think it has it's function but figuring out that function sometimes................................................................................................................................................................................................I reach a limit, where oh well it's night "time" and day "time". Fall and spring. Winter and summer.

I think if I could pick I'd spend some "time" enjoying Native American time keeping.

 

[Lanolin]

Theres 'island time' but problem is if you live in a big city where theres heaps of people, more travel distances to overcome and consequently everyone has less time for each other I reckon.