Be very careful who you marry

[JohnB]

As much as I would like to be married, I've seen times where it has ruined people's lives. I took 2 years of sign language and taught a Sunday School class for deaf children. We had services interpreted for the deaf. We had a new interpreter come in one Sunday. Her sign language was awesome. The way her hands and fingers flowed was like poetry. The other interpreters' was amazed at her signing. The deaf complimented her after services on her signs. She had a GOD given talent. One Sunday I walked over to her husband and mentioned how well his wife signed. He just glared at me and walked out. I asked others what happened? They said her husband was very jealous of her being in front of the church and getting the attention. Shortly after that she stopped. A couple of weeks later I saw her as a bible study and asked her what happened. She looked real nervous. looked around and said she couldn't talk about it and walked off. GOD had given this woman an incredible gift and her husband just crushed it out of jealousy.
I had a friend who was helping me with the Sunday School class and she was learning sign language. She loved working with the kids, went on day trips with us. She really loved the class. She got married, but said she would be coming back to the class. She never came back to the class. I asked her what happened. Her husband would not allow her to return. He was also cutting her off from her friends and family. They finally divorced after about 10 years. But, she missed out on so many blessing with with the deaf children, all because of her husband wanting complete control of her.
Just because someone says they are a Christian, and they might be, but attitudes and personalities make a difference.

 

[JohnB]

As much as I would like to be married, I've seen times where it has ruined people's lives. I took 2 years of sign language and taught a Sunday School class for deaf children. We had services interpreted for the deaf. We had a new interpreter come in one Sunday. Her sign language was awesome. The way her hands and fingers flowed was like poetry. The other interpreters' were amazed at her signing. The deaf complimented her after services on her signs. She had a GOD given talent. One Sunday I walked over to her husband and mentioned how well his wife signed. He just glared at me and walked out. I asked others what happened? They said her husband was very jealous of her being in front of the church and getting the attention. Shortly after that she stopped. A couple of weeks later I saw her as a bible study and asked her what happened. She looked real nervous. looked around and said she couldn't talk about it and walked off. GOD had given this woman an incredible gift and her husband just crushed it out of jealousy.
I had a friend who was helping me with the Sunday School class and she was learning sign language. She loved working with the kids, went on day trips with us. She really loved the class. She got married, but said she would be coming back to the class. She never came back to the class. I asked her what happened. Her husband would not allow her to return. He was also cutting her off from her friends and family. They finally divorced after about 10 years. But, she missed out on so many blessing with with the deaf children, all because of her husband wanting complete control of her.
Just because someone says they are a Christian, and they might be, but attitudes and personalities make a difference.

BOTH of these husbands claimed to be Christians, attended bible studies, but their personalities said something else. Just because two people are Christians, does not mean they are a match.

 

[ResidentAlien]

As much as I would like to be married, I've seen times where it has ruined people's lives. I took 2 years of sign language and taught a Sunday School class for deaf children. We had services interpreted for the deaf. We had a new interpreter come in one Sunday. Her sign language was awesome. The way her hands and fingers flowed was like poetry. The other interpreters' was amazed at her signing. The deaf complimented her after services on her signs. She had a GOD given talent. One Sunday I walked over to her husband and mentioned how well his wife signed. He just glared at me and walked out. I asked others what happened? They said her husband was very jealous of her being in front of the church and getting the attention. Shortly after that she stopped. A couple of weeks later I saw her as a bible study and asked her what happened. She looked real nervous. looked around and said she couldn't talk about it and walked off. GOD had given this woman an incredible gift and her husband just crushed it out of jealousy.
I had a friend who was helping me with the Sunday School class and she was learning sign language. She loved working with the kids, went on day trips with us. She really loved the class. She got married, but said she would be coming back to the class. She never came back to the class. I asked her what happened. Her husband would not allow her to return. He was also cutting her off from her friends and family. They finally divorced after about 10 years. But, she missed out on so many blessing with with the deaf children, all because of her husband wanting complete control of her.
Just because someone says they are a Christian, and they might be, but attitudes and personalities make a difference.

As I read this I started wondering who was actually more jealous.

 

[tourist]

In regards to initiating a relationship possibly leading to marriage, you reach a point in your life whether you know what you want or you don't. Getting married is a calculated risk, for those willing to take a chance, you shake the dice and let 'em fly, and let the chips fall where they may. It's all in the wrist (risk).

 

[cv5]

BOTH of these husbands claimed to be Christians, attended bible studies, but their personalities said something else. Just because two people are Christians, does not mean they are a match.

A "match"? Sounds like breeding horses to me.
I think you are off track to begin with.

 

[cv5]

As much as I would like to be married, I've seen times where it has ruined people's lives. I took 2 years of sign language and taught a Sunday School class for deaf children. We had services interpreted for the deaf. We had a new interpreter come in one Sunday. Her sign language was awesome. The way her hands and fingers flowed was like poetry. The other interpreters' was amazed at her signing. The deaf complimented her after services on her signs. She had a GOD given talent. One Sunday I walked over to her husband and mentioned how well his wife signed. He just glared at me and walked out. I asked others what happened? They said her husband was very jealous of her being in front of the church and getting the attention. Shortly after that she stopped. A couple of weeks later I saw her as a bible study and asked her what happened. She looked real nervous. looked around and said she couldn't talk about it and walked off. GOD had given this woman an incredible gift and her husband just crushed it out of jealousy.
I had a friend who was helping me with the Sunday School class and she was learning sign language. She loved working with the kids, went on day trips with us. She really loved the class. She got married, but said she would be coming back to the class. She never came back to the class. I asked her what happened. Her husband would not allow her to return. He was also cutting her off from her friends and family. They finally divorced after about 10 years. But, she missed out on so many blessing with with the deaf children, all because of her husband wanting complete control of her.
Just because someone says they are a Christian, and they might be, but attitudes and personalities make a difference.

Christian marriage is correctly founded up giving, not taking. This I have learned from experience.

 

[HeIsHere]

BOTH of these husbands claimed to be Christians, attended bible studies, but their personalities said something else. Just because two people are Christians, does not mean they are a match.

Do you claim to be Christian, can we examine your life to see how it holds up?

 

[Cameron143]

Marriage was designed to be a reflection of the relationship the Godhead has within itself. The two are to become one even as the three are one.
Imagine the relationship in the Godhead. The Father loving and giving to the Son. The Son loving and giving to the Spirit. The Spirit loving and giving to the Father. In receiving from one another, each acknowledges the value of the giving and in receiving are actually loving in return. In giving and receiving, love is exemplied until it is hard to see where one ends and the other begins. In receiving, each is giving. In giving, each is receiving.
Until couples understand they are one flesh and that in their giving they are also receiving, each will only see the value of receiving.

 

[cv5]

Christian marriage is correctly founded up giving, not taking. This I have learned from experience.

EDIT:
"Christian marriage is correctly founded upon giving, not taking. This I have learned from experience."

Nobody is a perfect match. Not in this fallen world.

 

[JesusLives]

Marriage on this earth is two flawed people who have decided they can put up with each other's flaws. Marriage is also a 100% proposition you both better go in willing to give it your ALL it's not 50/50.

Both people will have good and bad days and it's nice when your partner can stand with you on those bad days and it is loads of fun when you have your partner on the good days.

It's also nice when you learn to love your partner in spite of their flaws. Because on this earth NO ONE IS PERFECT.

A good marriage is when you both decide you will work through life together, knowing the ups and downs really don't matter, because you know you each love each other no matter what is going on around you. When God is in the mix He is the one you both look to for help during the daily partnership and both of you want Him to lead you through your walk together.

 

[cv5]

Marriage on this earth is two flawed people who have decided they can put up with each other's flaws. Marriage is also a 100% proposition you both better go in willing to give it your ALL it's not 50/50.

100%.
This "perfect match" business is for those in the world. You start with that....you will end up severely disappointed.

 

[Mem]

100%.
This "perfect match" business is for those in the world. You start with that....you will end up severely disappointed.

It is a great feat indeed if you can be the perfect spouse no matter who you marry.

 

[cv5]

Clearly you didn't read what I wrote or you are uncapable of understanding what I wrote.

Right. This "perfect match" business is for those in the world. You start with that....you will end up severely disappointed.

Christian marriage is not a Netfix primetime dating show. It is 100% commitment regardless of who is bearing who's load.
Because of course.....the load can shift at any time.

Ultimately, marriage is an expression of our love and commitment to Jesus Christ, and we endure marriage trials by His strength and for His glory.

True?

 

[wattie]

I think it's real important to know the person you want to marry very well. Not sleeping with them, but knowing if you can see past their problems.

For myself and my ex wife we couldn't do that. I found her too finicky.. she found me too aloof. I didn't want divorce, but to grow into the relationship..my wife was too unhappy though and left.

 

[cv5]

I found her too finicky.. she found me too aloof.

Wow. My wife and I switch those roles almost on a daily basis!
We ignore this flippancy and move on. Mostly to grocery shopping and cooking. Then we reset the next morning.

 

[cv5]

Wow....a LOT of red x's and bad blood on this topic.

Glad it's not my problem.....

Just to let everyone know......I was engaged to my wife for 7 years. We finally had the opportunity to be married, and only then consummated the marriage on our honeymoon.

7 years.

 

[CharliRenee]

Oh my goodness...well I'll tell you what..

I sure do admire two ppl who come together and stay together, through all the heavy and good times. What a blessing. I so enjoy seeing two ppl showing consistent loyalty to one anorher. It is such a tangible example of Christ's unwaivering love.

You are right, we need to take the pledge very seriously, and we should not only be careful who we pick, but even more important, is take great care to ensure we ourselves are a good pick for someone else. I think half the battle is making sure we chk ourselves first. Ideally pick a mate that you can trust chks themselves too, so you can just get about loving and extending mercy the best you can, and rest knowing the other has their part covered too.

About christian attitudes...

We are all flawed, each and everyone of us.

Well, I think individually, we all have work to do. We all need Him everyday to help us get over our selfish and other human flaws. So when two ppl come together, choosing God and one another each and every day, it, again is something I find so admirable!!!

 

[JohnB]

As I read this I started wondering who was actually more jealous.

are blaming the wives? BOTH husbands were very jealous of their wives and their work in the ministries, How could you miss that?

 

[JohnB]

A "match"? Sounds like breeding horses to me.
I think you are off track to begin with.

you blame the wives?

 

[cv5]

EDIT:
"Christian marriage is correctly founded upon giving, not taking. This I have learned from experience."

Nobody is a perfect match. Not in this fallen world.

And I mean BOTH PARTERNS "giving" and not taking. Just to be clear.
But sacrificial love is the hallmark of a Christian to begin with. So there is that foundation to build upon.