A
Hi guys,
I feel under attack from the enemy and I'd really value some prayer, advice and perhaps words of encouragement.
I'm 24 and I've had huge issues with self confidence and my looks in the past. The grace of God has allowed me to overcome many of these problems. There are still some issues, however that seep away the joy i know Jesus died for me to dwell in and it is preventing me from loving God with all my heart.
I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood and attended predominantly white schools/universities. Also, as I have a mixed race father, I felt I poked different to other black girls in a bad way. To put it in simple terms, not being around people who looked like me distorted my self perception. I thought I was strange looking and undesirable and any body who said otherwise was mocking me. Furthermore most of the black boys in school/men at university have been very clear in their lack of desire for black women- this made me feel even more ugly. I never wanted to be a different ethnicity, I just wanted to feel beautiful.
Now I feel a lot better and coming to a place of peace with how God has created me. However my old insecurities are surfacing...I'm very attracted to white men and none appear to be overtly interested. I'm told I'm attractive but it's so hard to find strength through faith to not care and just enjoy life. I want to trust in God and his plan. It's just that i look around me and I don't see where I fit in. It's breaking my heart.
Many thanks for reading .
God bless x
I feel under attack from the enemy and I'd really value some prayer, advice and perhaps words of encouragement.
I'm 24 and I've had huge issues with self confidence and my looks in the past. The grace of God has allowed me to overcome many of these problems. There are still some issues, however that seep away the joy i know Jesus died for me to dwell in and it is preventing me from loving God with all my heart.
I grew up in a predominantly white neighbourhood and attended predominantly white schools/universities. Also, as I have a mixed race father, I felt I poked different to other black girls in a bad way. To put it in simple terms, not being around people who looked like me distorted my self perception. I thought I was strange looking and undesirable and any body who said otherwise was mocking me. Furthermore most of the black boys in school/men at university have been very clear in their lack of desire for black women- this made me feel even more ugly. I never wanted to be a different ethnicity, I just wanted to feel beautiful.
Now I feel a lot better and coming to a place of peace with how God has created me. However my old insecurities are surfacing...I'm very attracted to white men and none appear to be overtly interested. I'm told I'm attractive but it's so hard to find strength through faith to not care and just enjoy life. I want to trust in God and his plan. It's just that i look around me and I don't see where I fit in. It's breaking my heart.
Many thanks for reading .
God bless x