can you guys post something funny please?

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I'm afraid your passing a "typical" christianese judgement
I make no apologies for my choice of relaxation
It's most definitely not an addiction
I was going to go on and justify myself to you
Who are supposed to be my brethren
Not my judges
So I desist
The only thing that matters is
Hear the words I say
And just like Pentecost
Don't assume I must be drunk
You foolish one
I am going to say it, The Lord Rebuke you Satan
 
I'm afraid your passing a "typical" christianese judgement
I make no apologies for my choice of relaxation
It's most definitely not an addiction
I was going to go on and justify myself to you
Who are supposed to be my brethren
Not my judges
So I desist
The only thing that matters is
Hear the words I say
And just like Pentecost
Don't assume I must be drunk
You foolish one
Seeing that you're in the mood for passing judgement
Hear this
From your Christian brother
I'm a convicted paedophile
The worst of the worst in human eyes
But Jesus had a different idea
That's why I stand "apart"
That's why I can
Drink beer in the local bar
Incidentally
Wearing a Jesus hoodie
I'm not fitting into the world
I'm in it
But not of it
Making a clear declaration
That
The lost might understand
I know nothing of theology
But I know everything about grace
So silence your mouth
And pray for love to reign in your heart and rule your mind
There!!!!
That's Christianity
 
Imagine calling a child of God
Satan
There's only one place that comes from
And I don't think for a second
It's the holy spirit talking
But I forgive you
You're obviously doing the best you can
 
Your own words speak for yourself -- loud and clear.
This site makes it hard to discern who will believe I'm responding to
So to remove all doubts
This is a response to everyone who has ears to hear
I'm a convicted paedophile
Yes
You heard correctly
Even in prison the murderers looked down on me
But
Jesus had a different planet
Now
I'm translated from the kingdom of darkness
To the kingdom of light
I stand as a witness to the whole world
I'm permitted to sit on my days off in the local bar and drink beer
But
I might add
I continually placed tracts in the rest room
Even though they mainly get torn up
And I sit wearing a hoodie
Emblazoned with the wording
Jesus
The
Way
The truth
The life
I didn't need to justify myself to you my brethren
But you pushed me to it I understand exactly how Paul felt and why he gave account of his heritage
I came on this site expecting Christian fellowship
But for my efforts
I'm openly declared by one
As
Satan
Satan would never desire a discussion of the battle within
Open your hearts and close your minds
You foolish people
 
Seeing that you're in the mood for passing judgement
Hear this
From your Christian brother
I'm a convicted paedophile
The worst of the worst in human eyes
But Jesus had a different idea
That's why I stand "apart"
That's why I can
Drink beer in the local bar
Incidentally
Wearing a Jesus hoodie
I'm not fitting into the world
I'm in it
But not of it

Making a clear declaration
That
The lost might understand
I know nothing of theology
But I know everything about grace
So silence your mouth
And pray for love to reign in your heart and rule your mind
There!!!!
That's Christianity

Yes.

It may surprise you, but some of us had already figured that out from your very own words. Along with repeating several times that you like to drink beer regularly, you also keep repeating in many of your posts that you have committed crimes considered worse than murder.

I'm not a street smart person at all, but when I wrote to inmates for a prison ministry, they told me that about the only crime seen worse than murder in prison are those against children -- often because many of the inmates were childhood victims themselves.

One inmate I wrote to had been convicted of rape -- of an adult, not a child -- and another had been convicted of molesting two young children. He said it was something that was done to him as a child, and he was following what he knew.

I was in no place to pass judgment on them, and I am in no place to pass judgment on you. That is for the Lord God Almighty alone.

I can only speak with you as a fellow flawed human being, one who needs the grace and mercy of Jesus just as much as any other person.

I do hope that God touches your heart and ministers to you here.

But God has also taught me to stand firm in discernment as best as I can, and so when I answer you, it's from some of the difficult lessons I learned while speaking to others who have also walked on a path similar to yours.
 
I just made a lengthy declaration that should meet your ears
I don't understand how this site actually works
Maybe you can track it down to save me from repeating myself
I'm not anticipating many responses
At least maybe
Like my position in the local bar drinking beer and wearing a Jesus hoodie
I'll at least make you think
Outside of the box
Which is exactly Jesus territory
I can say that with all confidence
As I know Him
Intimately
 
You've already passed judgement
You think that drinking beer is a sin
I defy your preconceived notions of a saved and redeemed brother
I'm not in the least impressed by your prison ministry
Whilst I was lost in sin
I was a social worker employed by the education department to run a unit designed to keep teenagers out of effective improvement
I even fostered teenage lads that no one else would touch without a bargepole
And no
Before you make assumptions
That's not who i abused
I did these good works way before I was miraculously saved
I didn't make a decision for Christ
He made a decision for me
And loves me to bits and doesn't judge my beer drinking
He's busy reading my heart
 
You've already passed judgement
You think that drinking beer is a sin
I defy your preconceived notions of a saved and redeemed brother
I'm not in the least impressed by your prison ministry
Whilst I was lost in sin
I was a social worker employed by the education department to run a unit designed to keep teenagers out of effective improvement
I even fostered teenage lads that no one else would touch without a bargepole
And no
Before you make assumptions
That's not who i abused
I did these good works way before I was miraculously saved
I didn't make a decision for Christ
He made a decision for me
And loves me to bits and doesn't judge my beer drinking
He's busy reading my heart

I'm not judging your beer drinking.

But I AM wondering if you are posting while sober or not.

That's not judgment -- that's common sense -- because the influence of alcohol is obviously going to affect what you say, how you say it, why you keep repeating yourself, and why your posts keep going around in circles.

And there's no reason for you to be impressed by anyone or anything here. This is something you also repeat A LOT in your posts -- "I'm not impressed at all by..."

Yes, we know. You're not impressed by anything. That's great! Because we are not trying to impress you.

You don't have to be impressed by anyone here.

The reason I mentioned the prison ministry was that I was trying to speak to you from a platform of having a glimpse of understanding what you are trying to tell us.

If you are wanting to connect with people here, speaking from a place of a whole and sober mind would be a great start.
 
Oh
I see your listed as a senior member
So there's a pecking order in the body of believers?
Several members here have been a part of this site for years and years and years, through multiple site changes and upgrades, thus why the title "senior" may show for some members. It has nothing to do with "order in the body of believers".
 
Imagine calling a child of God
Satan
There's only one place that comes from
And I don't think for a second
It's the holy spirit talking
But I forgive you
You're obviously doing the best you can

I don't believe @I_am_Canadian was calling you Satan -- rather, he was trying to rebuke whatever spirit is trying to come across through you.

But, I could be wrong, and I welcome @I_am_Canadian to correct me if I misunderstood.
 
I'm particularly drawn by your constant expression
We
When you are posting a personal message
Do you really believe you represent a group?
And what's more from the terminology of your words
The "right" group
I merely represent my own point of view
Held up by my own experience
And I could
If need be
Quote chapter in verse in my defense
But I'm not dealing with an enemy
We're supposed to be brethren
 
I'm particularly drawn by your constant expression
We
When you are posting a personal message
Do you really believe you represent a group?
And what's more from the terminology of your words
The "right" group
I merely represent my own point of view
Held up by my own experience
And I could
If need be
Quote chapter in verse in my defense
But I'm not dealing with an enemy
We're supposed to be brethren

When I say "we," I mean the collective audience here -- like the people that are answering you now -- as well as some regulars on this site that I have been in personal touch with for a very long time (over 10+ years.)

I have met several people from this site in person -- we keep in touch in an offsite group -- and we have been reading and discussing your posts among ourselves.

Not in judgment, but in wondering how best to try to answer.
 
  • Heart
Reactions: oldman and Magenta
I'm not surprised I'm "generating a lot of traffic" as you put it
I came on here with one intention
To share the daily internal battle with my brethren so we could encourage and uplift one another
The Lord knows the intention of my heart
But
As I'm here
And not finding what I was hoping for
I thought it worthwhile
To "ruffle a few feathers" and change the course of conversation from carnal to spiritual
That's not the actions of a drunken man
Is it?
 
I thought it worthwhile
To "ruffle a few feathers" and change the course of conversation from carnal to spiritual
Well, there are spots around this forum that are for more serious, spiritual conversations.
But then there are also spots (like this one) that were designated to be more laid back.
I mean, just click back to the first post of this thread:
I deal with a stressful person everyday at my house and I really hope you guys can share some funny stuff please? Thanks
 
I'm not surprised I'm "generating a lot of traffic" as you put it
I came on here with one intention To share the daily internal battle with my brethren so we could encourage and uplift one another
I thought it worthwhile To "ruffle a few feathers" and change the course of conversation from carnal to spiritual
That's not the actions of a drunken man
Is it?

You don't seem to realize that your own personal definitions of "carnal" vs. "spiritual" appear to be very different from others here, as well as your method of trying to shift the conversations.

A bull in a China shop shouldn't be surprised -- or disappointed -- when he encounters broken glass after charging.
 
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Reactions: oldman
I'm particularly drawn by your constant expression
We
When you are posting a personal message
Do you really believe you represent a group?
And what's more from the terminology of your words
The "right" group
I merely represent my own point of view
Held up by my own experience
And I could
If need be
Quote chapter in verse in my defense
But I'm not dealing with an enemy
We're supposed to be brethren
*Lynx raises a paw.

I agreed with everything she said.