Date Night

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I went out on a date with a girl who, I suspect, texted her uncle to bail her out. :ROFL:
Surely not. I'm sure her uncle had some sort of emergency that could not be helped by his wife, children, parents, friends, other extended family, or co-workers.
 
So your first tip will be "cultivate an inner circle of really needy friends and family...or say you do anyhow."

Surely not. I'm sure her uncle had some sort of emergency that could not be helped by his wife, children, parents, friends, other extended family, or co-workers.
 
So your first tip will be "cultivate an inner circle of really needy friends and family...or say you do anyhow."
Yes. And by cultivate I mean make sure you create some additional problems for them right around the time of said date. Perhaps knife their car tire, light a candle in their house and walk away, something along these lines. These are only suggestions. I will guide my readers to feel free to be creative.
 
Yes. And by cultivate I mean make sure you create some additional problems for them right around the time of said date. Perhaps knife their car tire, light a candle in their house and walk away, something along these lines. These are only suggestions. I will guide my readers to feel free to be creative.

For those sensitive viewers. I'm clearly joking. I would never suggest anyone do something of the sort even if their date is dreadful. Haha.
 
One bad date I had was when the man would not stop talking about himself. Droning on and on. 30 minutes in, and I started to plan my escape route. I considered passing out but thought that could go awry with CPR. After that, I wondered if I could call my own phone somehow and pretend my mom needed me to come over and help her organize her closet. I started to plan a new business venture. 21 ways to get out of a bad date and practical tips for faking your own fainting.
Set an alarm to go off partway through the date. If the date goes well, ignore it. If it's going poorly then it's a "phone call".
 
I think my worst date was when I took a gal to see The Abyss. I had seen her a few times over the previous months. I picked up on some discomfort on her part and, as I didn't know how to broach it, neither of us spoke until halfway home. Then I tried to start a conversation, which rapidly went south. At least I enjoyed the movie!
 
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1. Say you have to to go to the toilet and then disappear. Your date cant go check and say 'are you in there? Whats taking so long? ' he or she will then think you constipated and then rethink ever asking you on a date again.
 
One bad date I had was when the man would not stop talking about himself. Droning on and on. 30 minutes in, and I started to plan my escape route. I considered passing out but thought that could go awry with CPR. After that, I wondered if I could call my own phone somehow and pretend my mom needed me to come over and help her organize her closet. I started to plan a new business venture. 21 ways to get out of a bad date and practical tips for faking your own fainting.
@Desdichado taught him well. He had “Desdichado’s school of how to lose a date in 30 minutes or less. Guaranteed”. He had to close it after Dominoes threatened to sue.
 
Hilariously enough, my first date was the most beautiful and picturesque thing you could ever imagine. It went from going with a group of friends to a movie, all the friends left till it was just me and him. We walked around the park at sunset, and I had my first kiss sitting in front of the lake at the park. It was the most adorable thing ever.

The relationship lasted a week. But man I will never forget that day. 🤣
 
The kissing thing, my first kiss I caught a cold from it.

Tip dont go on a date when you arent feeling well. And for women, there are times of the month when you just dont go on dates. Too much hassle. Stay home.