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Would you be okay with me performing emergency surgery on you using a pair of pliers and a fork??
 
Then at the emergency room, I'd get all teary-eyed and say, "I don't know what happened... he tripped... " (tears falling)
 
And it would be HEAVY rolling pins... not the lightweight plastic wanna-be's... and dishes heavy enough to sting a good one :)

Forks come in handy too.
 
Who do you like better Mr T or Chuck Norris?? If your answer is chuck norris move on to question two

Are you hot? If not this question air ends for you
 
*laughs* Mr. T is funnier... just because of a limited vocabulary... consisting of grunts and ornery looks.

Can you understand a wide range of English dialects? (ebonics, etc.) I may need a translator.
 
Hey Sam, can you send me that question aier? I wanna make copies for some prospective girlfriends. ROFL :p