Dating: When and How Do You Bring Up the Subject of S-E-X?

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M

Maddog

Guest
#81
you know except for the selling of the tapes, yeah thats nothing new. Almost vanilla and plain actually
Yes, I included the selling of the tapes for a reason. The rest is not necessarily wrong. But my point still stands. There are things which even married couples ought not do. Do you disagree?
 
May 6, 2011
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#82
Yes, I included the selling of the tapes for a reason. The rest is not necessarily wrong. But my point still stands. There are things which even married couples ought not do. Do you disagree?
Eh but the selling tapes is outside the realm of sex anyways in my mind. Personally I would see no problem if a couple filmed themselves for later enjoyment. Thats their decision. Selling them is no longer a sexual and just wrong in general.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#83
Eh but the selling tapes is outside the realm of sex anyways in my mind. Personally I would see no problem if a couple filmed themselves for later enjoyment. Thats their decision. Selling them is no longer a sexual and just wrong in general.
It could be sexual. They might get a kick out the idea of strangers watching them but it would still be wrong.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#84
I also don't think animals should be employed. But maybe I'm just a prude.
 
A

allforfun

Guest
#85
Well, your sex life is none of my business, I'm sure, but the above is an example of something that ought not be done. Specifically, the production of sex tapes for public consumption and personal profit.
Did I say I was happy about it? No. But I am hardly the first woman with private parts on the internet so it didn't send me into a rage.

If this happened within the context of a marriage, there are bigger issues at hand than the selling of tapes. Seriously. I have been married. I have had serious sex issues in the marriage. Sex is generally not the first issue at hand but many many underlying issues going on.

So no, you will not convince me that there are limits to a healthy sex life. Now, if there are limits to the what each person feels comfortable with, that is in a whole other ball park. But I don't believe that things should be off limits just because of close mindedness. Song of Solomon was pretty explicit. I am not going to debate it further with you, because it will just be a u-turn conversation and I am sure you don't have the energy for it either. But I want you to think if what is off limits to you is Biblical based or just a judgement call. Because they are two different things. Both are acceptable but don't be so quick to point fingers at other people who are willing to go across the line in the sand you created.
 
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#86
It could be sexual. They might get a kick out the idea of strangers watching them but it would still be wrong.
I think your example was a stretch, and i was discussing that i dont think there are any disallowed elements of actuall sex not things that happen outside of it.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#87
Did I say I was happy about it? No. But I am hardly the first woman with private parts on the internet so it didn't send me into a rage.
As I said, it's none of business.

So no, you will not convince me that there are limits to a healthy sex life. Now, if there are limits to the what each person feels comfortable with, that is in a whole other ball park.
You're right to draw a distinction between what someone is comfortable with and what is moral, but do you really believe that there are no sexual activity a couple could do that are actually wrong?

But I don't believe that things should be off limits just because of close mindedness.
Okay, but I hope you're not conflating closed mindedness with moral conviction.

I am not going to debate it further with you, because it will just be a u-turn conversation and I am sure you don't have the energy for it either.
That's up to you. I'm not especially interested in a debate either, but I'm a nocturnal acloholic with nothing else to do tonight.

But I want you to think if what is off limits to you is Biblical based or just a judgement call. Because they are two different things. Both are acceptable but don't be so quick to point fingers at other people who are willing to go across the line in the sand you created.
I wasn't intentionally pointing any fingers. I was merely trying to articulate that, kinks aside, there are things which cross a moral line. As I've already confessed previously in this thread, I'm something of a pervert myself, so my objections to some sexual activities stem not from some personal distaste I may have, but from my understanding of sex from a moral point of view, and one which I believe can be supported by Scripture and Natural Law.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#88
I think your example was a stretch
Really? Would it surprise you if I said I'd seen examples of it?

and i was discussing that i dont think there are any disallowed elements of actuall sex not things that happen outside of it.
I think publishing sex tapes or pictures because the idea of strangers watching you at it turns you both on counts as an element of a couples' sex life. But it was just an example, we need not linger on it.

But I don't believe that you would have no moral objections to some sexual practices. I'm sure even the most liberal minded could think of something that they know is just wrong.
 
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#89
Really? Would it surprise you if I said I'd seen examples of it?


I think publishing sex tapes or pictures because the idea of strangers watching you at it turns you both on counts as an element of a couples' sex life. But it was just an example, we need not linger on it.

But I don't believe that you would have no moral objections to some sexual practices. I'm sure even the most liberal minded could think of something that they know is just wrong.
I mean not that i can think of...lets see...if its between one man and one woman and they are married, and the act is consensual and doesnt violate lets say the ten commandments, well go for it. I mean i really cant think of things that would be bad.
 
C

Crazylove

Guest
#90
I'm confused??? Are you married? If not, why bring it up! God makes it clear that sex before marriage is a sin. If the other person brings it up(as in want to have it) then their clearly are practicing it, coming to the conclusion their not a christian according to Galatians 5:19-21.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#91
Just a reminder that we have a lot of VERY young readers passing through here. It's not an adults only forum. While understanding that sex is an awesome part of marriage and communication is vital, discretion and tact have value as well.
 
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#92
I'm confused??? Are you married? If not, why bring it up! God makes it clear that sex before marriage is a sin. If the other person brings it up(as in want to have it) then their clearly are practicing it, coming to the conclusion their not a christian according to Galatians 5:19-21.
Umm...because Crazylove, some people may have things they are looking for in that area of their lives. I mean i mean im not currently active but that doesnt mean i havent been there before. And somethings need to be discussed before marriage. Like whether your partner is cool with ideas/activities X,Y, and Z or things like frequency or other personal 'proclivities'
 
H

Hisecho

Guest
#93
I tell every woman before I venture into a date that there is no sex in this relationship. Being upfront has allowed me to be under the protection of God.
 
H

Hisecho

Guest
#94
You do not want to open the door so i suggest that if you are not planning of marrying then no discussion of sex is necessary. It will begin to set off emotions in the both of you that will burn like hotfire.
 
M

Maddog

Guest
#95
I mean not that i can think of...lets see...if its between one man and one woman and they are married, and the act is consensual and doesnt violate lets say the ten commandments, well go for it. I mean i really cant think of things that would be bad.
If you can't think of anything then I'm hesitant to be the one to pollute your mind with any suggestions. But maybe I am going to have to produce a checklist afterall.

But there are other, more commonplace things which I believe are wrong, such as artificial contraception. I doubt most people on here would agree with me on this one, but as far as I can see, there are firm moral reasons it ought not be used (ie. it's not just a 'personal preference' thing).

If nothing else, I suppose we've proved that it probably is worth discussing before one ties the knot. Some things which I think are obvious no go areas, be my objections moral ones or otherwise, this thread has shown me that some people are not only not on the same page, they're reading a completely different book.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#96
That's what I was going to say, read from The Book on sex 101 , from Paul's Holy Spirit fed words throughout Corinthians, as He tells the do's and dont's of it to the 7 churches .

There should be good discussion, but it is black and white christian value system, of which God's words with there can be no argument. :)---

)))))(((((((( Absolutely, hisecho , can I highfiveO you? :D.
Yes, guys should take the bull by the horns from the git of relationship, letting her know you believe in value system of book like Passion &Purity (elizabeth elliott) and I m waiting!!!! I don't care about your past but I hope our future carry same pure beliefs.
 
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May 6, 2011
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#97
That's what I was going to say, read from The Book on sex 101 , from Paul's Holy Spirit fed words throughout Corinthians, as He tells the do's and dont's of it to the 7 churches .

There should be good discussion, but it is black and white christian value system, of which God's words with there can be no argument. :)---

)))))(((((((( Absolutely, hisecho , can I highfiveO you? :D.
Yes, guys should take the bull by the horns from the git of relationship, letting her know you believe in value system of book like Passion &Purity (elizabeth elliott) and I m waiting!!!! I don't care about your past but I hope our future carry same pure beliefs.
I guess im just missing it even after corinthians...so maybe im just blind to it. Or just dont see the issue as you two do.