depression

[paul67]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

 

[gb9]

get into the Bible, pray, but most of all, keep in mind that God loves you, it is not God that is causing your negative issues, it is not you, it is the evil world and times that we all live in.

i am 50, so i not far behind you.
what ever you do, do not give in to the devil about taking your life.

i know what being lonely is, i have no children, and feel as if very few people whom i am close with understand me, but, i just walked outside on a cold night and looked up at God's beautiful sky, and felt the Love of the Lord.


go and do that if you can.

do not give up, and be tough.

be prayig for you. and will do so right now.

 

[CharliRenee]

First, let me say and this and it isn't sympathy but care. I am sorry that you have spent so many time hurting. It sounds really painful. Life is hard and I am so glad that we have a God who see's, who loves YOU so much. I would seek help, even a doctor and maybe counseling, especially if you are so weary and down that you feel suicidal.

I am encouraged, though, that you were brave enough to share, talking about your concerns can be so cathartic, especially talking to Him in prayer but also just to get it out. Holding it alone can be heavy, huh?

I can feel the sadness in your words. I will join you in prayer. Maybe consider, too, seeing if you can help serve in a food bank. I remember a season, not too long ago, where I was feeling so down and isolated, volunteering really helped me. Have you considered?

Sending hugs and prayers.

 

[Deuteronomy]

Hello Paul (@paul67), I'm VERY sorry to hear about all of the things that you are going through right now. I am praying for you. Also, please remember that we have a Prayer Wall here at CChat that you can use whenever/as often as you'd like to (to inform us of your new and/or ongoing prayer needs, and to keep us updated if something changes). You can find that board here.

As far as the faith and your daily walk before Him goes, I know that it can be a very difficult thing to do, but if can find a church/a body of believers to call home (even though you may find many things about it that may not be perfect), I would strive to do so.

Church is the place that we go to regularly to step out of this world and remember who we are, Whom we serve, and how VERY much He loves us. It's where we go to pray, worship and learn corporately, and to be in fellowship with other believers (as an encouragement and a blessing to them, and they, in turn, to us). It's where we go to get our "spiritual" batteries recharged (so to speak).

And while it's often the place that we minister ~to~ others in their time of need, it's also the place that God established for us to be ministered to ~by~ others in our time of need.

(One last thing about that, sometimes the most difficult thing of all is allowing others to step in and help us, but there is truly no shame in doing so, as I believe that God is equally glorified when we trust in His provision for us by allowing others in the body to see to our needs )​

BTW, I agree with what @CharliRenee just said, that looking for ways to help others (as you are able to anyway) can actually be as helpful and as much of a blessing to you as you will be to them

Lastly, along with spending time in God's word and praying to Him, spend as much time as you can throughout the day remembering how much He loves you, including all that He did and continues to do for you, beginning at the foot of the Cross (even in the midst of all of the difficulties that you are facing). Then, whenever/as often as you can, try to find things (even the smallest of things at first) to rejoice in and be grateful for (and then thank Him for them). I think that you will be pleasantly surprised at what will happen if you choose to do so

Praying for you!

God bless you!! (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)

~Deuteronomy
p.s. - one last thing, remember that YOU are what is important to God, NOT what you do. As His chosen & adopted child, He has loved you from everlasting .. e.g. Jeremiah 31:3, and he will continue to do so both now, and forevermore (as a human "being", not as a human "doing"). He, in fact, sent His Son here to die for you because He loves you and always wants the very best for you .. Romans 5:8-10 (though there are times in this life that all we can do is to believe and trust that that is true, and that all of his great promises to us are truly ours as well .. e.g. Romans 8:28, 32, especially when we are experiencing times like you are now).

Pastor/theologian Charles Spurgeon once said, "everlasting love shall be the pillow for my head this night" (Morning & Evening, Evening, February 27th). Perhaps remembering how much you are truly/deeply loved by Him will make going to sleep tonight, and the thought of waking up tomorrow morning, a bit easier for you too

Jeremiah 31:3; Deuteronomy 33:26-27​

 

[Deuteronomy]

Hello again @paul67, I thought that I should also say, welcome to CChat! (seeing that this is the Intro Board) We're glad that you found us and decided to join in the discussions with us

God bless you!! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deuteronomy

 

[soberxp]

马太福音 Matthew
5:13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour【Savior,】 wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
5:14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
5:15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

 

[oyster67]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

We are so glad you came. The only sure solution for you is God's intervention. Even Paul himself admitted that life was hopeless without the hope for a better day that only God can give. Remember that our current situations are only temporary and will get better very soon if we stay close to Jesus. Let's pray for one another that we will hold firm to the faith and keep our glorious future in sight always.

Welcome and God bless you dear friend and brother.

1 Corinthians 15:19
“If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.”

 

[Evmur]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

I have to notice that you use lower case letters for God and Jesus ...g and j

I don't say this to accuse or condemn, but it makes me think you are not born again and that is what you need, it's the answer to everything, it's what we are here for. To come into a real life relationship with God, to becomes sons.

This new birth begins at the cross where we surrender our old life to God through Jesus, isn't that exactly what you desire so much?

We die with Christ there, we are buried with Him by faith and God raises us up with Him to walk in newness of Life

As Peter puts it
Himself bare our sins in His own body on the tree that we being dead unto sin come alive unto God ... by whose stripes ye are healed.

Come now pray, simply ask God to take away that old life and impart to you His new life ... come ALIVE in His Spirit.

 

[paul67]

I have to notice that you use lower case letters for God and Jesus ...g and j

I don't say this to accuse or condemn, but it makes me think you are not born again and that is what you need, it's the answer to everything, it's what we are here for. To come into a real life relationship with God, to becomes sons.

This new birth begins at the cross where we surrender our old life to God through Jesus, isn't that exactly what you desire so much?

We die with Christ there, we are buried with Him by faith and God raises us up with Him to walk in newness of Life

As Peter puts it
Himself bare our sins in His own body on the tree that we being dead unto sin come alive unto God ... by whose stripes ye are healed.

Come now pray, simply ask God to take away that old life and impart to you His new life ... come ALIVE in His Spirit.

i am born again i just got bad english lol

 

[paul67]

thanks for all the support , and encouragment, i do beleive very deeply i do read, and do pray,

 

[Evmur]

i am born again i just got bad english lol

Then greater is He who is IN YOU than he that is in the world.

This depression is a person not a thing, he does not dwell in you for Jesus dwells in you but he comes against you. You have weapons, very good and effective weapons at your disposal. Salvation for a helmet and faith for a shield.

One of the best weapons against this devil of depression is PRAISE. Praise the Lord, all the day long praise Him.

Even do it mechanically at first, you won't feel like praising Him. It's just like exercising when you haven't done it in a while. But soon you'll start to cheer up a little, a new warmth will come into your heart, as you go on your cup will just overflow. You'll come into a real joy experience.

Get in among the happy clappies, join the happy throng. These things can all be tough going to start with but you will glad you started.

Who doesn't know the Lord is my Shepherd? it's a good place to start.

The Lord's my shepherd I'll not want
He makes me down to lie
in pastures green He leadeth me
the quiet waters by
*
My soul He doth restore again
and me to walk doth make
within the paths of righteousness
e'en for His own names sake
*
Yea though I walk in death's dark vale
yet will I fear no ill
for Thou art with me and Thy rod
and staff me comfort still
*
My table Thou hast furnished
in presence of my foes
my head Thou dost with oil anoint
and my cup overflows
*
Goodness and mercy all my life
shall surely follow me
and in God's house for evermore
my dwelling place shall be.

 

[ebdesroches]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

Your depression goes beyond you solving it by yourself. My opinion is that you need a competent Christian Professional, minister, priest or Godly friend close by in person. Possibly medical intervention is required.

Nothing this deep and hurting goes away easily, but if counseling/medical intervention bears fruit the following may be helpful from Oswald Chambers:

Taking the Initiative Against Despair

Rise, let us be going. MATTHEW 26:46


In the Garden of Gethsemane, the disciples went to sleep when they should have stayed awake, and once they realized what they had done it produced despair. The sense of having done something irreversible tends to make us despair. We say, “Well, it’s all over and ruined now; what’s the point in trying anymore.” If we think this kind of despair is an exception, we are mistaken. It is a very ordinary human experience. Whenever we realize we have not taken advantage of a magnificent opportunity, we are apt to sink into despair. But Jesus comes and lovingly says to us, in essence, “Sleep on now. That opportunity is lost forever and you can’t change that. But get up, and let’s go on to the next thing.” In other words, let the past sleep, but let it sleep in the sweet embrace of Christ, and let us go on into the invincible future with Him.
There will be experiences like this in each of our lives. We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives, and we will be unable to lift ourselves out of them. The disciples, in this instance, had done a downright unthinkable thing— they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus. But our Lord came to them taking the spiritual initiative against their despair and said, in effect, “Get up, and do the next thing.” If we are inspired by God, what is the next thing? It is to trust Him absolutely and to pray on the basis of His redemption.
Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step.

 

[GRACE_ambassador]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression

Sorry to hear - I will pray for you - please "think on these things" and be
Very RICHLY Encouraged and Edified:

GRACE Word for our infirmities

Precious friend:

Grace, Peace, And JOY In Christ, And In His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II)! + RICH Blessings

 

[Magenta]

Welcome!

Welcome!

 

[paul67]

thankyou ,been a long time really ,dont like to blame anyone but feel i have wasted 26 years of my life, as only just got the truth of jesus and what he did , For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: , i didnt relise the power of grace and to walk with christ , i have struggled over the years fell away ended up no better , just doing same as the world , saying the sinners prayer is not the the right teaching really, anybody can say that, but to truly understand it needs teaching correctly , after 26 years i finally get it so its like i have started again, i know god as brought me through , in his grace and mercy, but feel i could have being doing more and feel guilty that all that time as been wasted, but gods good he brought me out the other end , stopped smoking weed praise god stopped drinking praise god , and my biggest problem was porn praise god, i dont take no part in these things no more not by my might but only through true understanding , what JESUS as done for me , its all about jesus his power not mine as i have tried in my own strength , and failed all the time so i give all glory to god , and his finished works the addiction went with no withdrawls for any of it, i am just been truthfull as it as been a hard walk, i am just trying to be patient now as i tend to want to run but i have to slow down and let jesus guide me , sorry for the small j and g just not great at grammer , just like to thank everyone on here to god bless

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi, Please listen to this testimony of the co-founder of the biggest Christian TV network in the world. At on point she wanted to give up. This is from her heart, God bless you.

 

[oyster67]

thankyou ,been a long time really ,dont like to blame anyone but feel i have wasted 26 years of my life, as only just got the truth of jesus and what he did , For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: , i didnt relise the power of grace and to walk with christ , i have struggled over the years fell away ended up no better , just doing same as the world , saying the sinners prayer is not the the right teaching really, anybody can say that, but to truly understand it needs teaching correctly , after 26 years i finally get it so its like i have started again, i know god as brought me through , in his grace and mercy, but feel i could have being doing more and feel guilty that all that time as been wasted, but gods good he brought me out the other end , stopped smoking weed praise god stopped drinking praise god , and my biggest problem was porn praise god, i dont take no part in these things no more not by my might but only through true understanding , what JESUS as done for me , its all about jesus his power not mine as i have tried in my own strength , and failed all the time so i give all glory to god , and his finished works the addiction went with no withdrawls for any of it, i am just been truthfull as it as been a hard walk, i am just trying to be patient now as i tend to want to run but i have to slow down and let jesus guide me , sorry for the small j and g just not great at grammer , just like to thank everyone on here to god bless

God does not require perfection. He just wants you to do your best.
I want you to look at the big picture for a moment; You are one of the few who has found their way. We all still struggle with the old nature, but the Christian life is a struggle. You and I are promised ultimate victory in the end because of what Jesus has done for us. Let's praise Him right now for giving us the victory that we could never have gotten by own efforts. You and I are winners and champions through Christ. I look forward to seeing you in Heaven. When the battle is over, we shall wear a crown.

 

[ButterflyJones]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

Welcome. I'm glad you found us. ☺️

Your depression could be due to Hypothyroidism.

It's something to consider. You canook it up and see if your symptoms are similar to that condition.
If you are suffering that condition consider nutrition and natural remedies. Prescriptions can but weaken your system and often cause side effects that require other prescriptions to combat.

May God keep you in his healing light. And again, welcome to our community.

 

[MessengerofTruth]

hi everyone i am 55 year old male christian since 1997 ,but suffer with severe depression to the pooint of thoughts on suicide, not looking for sympathy, looking to chat and try understand why i suffer, yesterday was hell for me like many days , going to sleep is a nightmare as it is like russian roulette wondering what i am gonna be like when i wake , yesterday prime example all my love for everything goes , for my kid my dog and even god , i dont function i stayed in bed all day didnt eat and dont have the strength to do anything , my walk with god as been a struggle throughout the year as there so many different opinons on been a christian i read i pray , ive even back slidden its my own vommit , but gods grace and mercy brought me through, but i still suffer i live in the uk , christianity is like taking your car to the garage and having 20 mecanics look at it and coming up with 20 different solutions for the same problem, i dont go to church for this reason , after 26 years i dont no how i am ment to be , i struggle to pray , always the same things i feel i have to tell the world the gospel , like it is my sole responsibility , i no all the lines saved through grace not by works etc, give it all to jesus , but i am still depressed to the point if i lived in america where guns are available like choclate bar i would have taken my life by now as tried it in the past when my 2 son where 5 years of age there now grown up in there 30s. so lonely, so confused

Do not think it strange the fiery trial that is trying you... We are all in a warfare. Your brethren in the world are suffering the same. 1Pet.4:12-13.

You must take every thought captive and bring it into subjection. Along with prayer for wisdom.

I can empathize with you and have walked through many hard times. I feel that I only get short vacations from hardships before I am facing a new one, so I feel that I can encourage you to take God at His Word there in 2Cor. 10:3-6 and Eph. 6:10-18.

He has proven continually to be faithful to me so, I can say with confidence that He will show Himself faithful to you as well.

I am praying.

 

[Elshya]

Three years ago, I didn't believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ. I thought he was a good man. I believed in God, but in a new age way where he was unreachable until you attained a higher consciousness. I was terribly wrong.

I had a good job, I had a University degree and "things", but I was still not happy. Years went by and this despair grew deeper and deeper until about 8 years ago, I attempted to take my own life. Oddly enough, it was on Good Friday. I was in a coma for three days and when I woke up, I was really annoyed to still be here.

Fast forward to three years ago when a woman on a forum I frequented posted a song sung by the band Pentatonix called, "Mary Did You Know?" I played that song over and over and over. I was absolutely gobsmacked at the phrase, "...the sleeping child you're holding, is the Great I AM!" I don't know why I never figured that out on my own. Every Christmas in High School I played in the orchestra or sang in the choir Handel's Messiah. Right in the song it calls Him "Almighty God" and it went in one ear and out the other.

To make a long story short, I had been under spiritual attack for a very long time. I don't know when they got a foothold, but that isn't as important as they are gone and Jesus lives here now! I was raised a Christian Scientist so things like the devil and demons didn't exist. We are taught that it is simply mortal mind and wrong thinking and not the Mind of Christ. This is ironic because, on the cover of their book, it says, "Heal the sick, Cleanse the lepers, Cast out demons." and then they go on to deny their existence. Well, they do exist and there is a battle raging for our souls.

They are gone. I won't go into the details, but it sure is quiet in my head now. It's been almost a year and things are so very different. I praise God for His faithfulness! No more voices, no more confusion, depression, or thoughts that my life doesn't matter. Now, I know we fight not against flesh but against principalities and powers and I rebuke them in the name of Jesus Christ when they come to fill my head with doubts and rubbish.

You are not alone! I will pray for you that these attacks stop and I know the other people here will as well.

If I ascend into Heaven, You are there.
If I make my bed in the depths, You are there.

He is always right there with you. He will never slumber or sleep and leave you without protection. <3