Different up bringing

[Karlon]

I think a big part of it was that my dad was very much the head of our home, and we were raised with pretty strong Christian and conservative values. There were very clear expectations about obedience, respect, modesty, and doing what was considered right. And yes, spanking was part of the discipline when I was growing up. Which many people do not agree with

some similarities exist with me. my mom & dad had 5 boys, no girls, & we were beat constantly, no soft spankings. but we were brought up catholic. i never had kids but i definitely don't like spanking or hitting of any kind. i would choose an immediate talk after a child did something wrong. immediate correction is most absorbing by the guilty.

 

[Maryyy2]

some similarities exist with me. my mom & dad had 5 boys, no girls, & we were beat constantly, no soft spankings. but we were brought up catholic. i never had kids but i definitely don't like spanking or hitting of any kind. i would choose an immediate talk after a child did something wrong. immediate correction is most absorbing by the guilty.

Yes it was similar for us but I only have sisters I don’t feel negative towards it but I was very sheltered and didn’t realize how polarizing it was

 

[Lanolin]

I think shelter is important and yes it is normal to live at home with your parents (for girls) until you get married.

Folks with different upbringings where their parents abandoned them or split up, or didn't care for them or let them do anything they wanted, they won't know any different but they might be ashamed of their way of home life.

I think it's the homeschool thing that would be most polarizing since, if you have only been homeschooled your circle of people you hang out with would be more just your family and relatives.

those of us who weren't homeschooled have always needed to fit in somehow in a class of 30 or so others who are not closely related to us lol.

If you've ever seen the movie Mean Girls, you'd see how high school cliques could operate. It was originally meant to be called Homeschooled, it was about a teen girl called Cady who goes to high school for the first time, before that she was homeschooled in Africa. Her first task is to make friends....everyone kind of treats her like this exotic creature, she tries hard to fit in and seems to lose herself in the process.

In my country, homeschooling is only necessary if someone lives too far away from school, like in the country or remote area, or maybe the children have some sort of behavioural issues like autism and they'd get bullied at a regular school. There are not so much the religious types who distrust every single thing the Government does, like public schools! There are also private Christian schools, Catholic schools, and schools that have a christian ethos or at least good values taught.

I help teach Christian/Biblical values in public schools.

 

[Karlon]

Yes it was similar for us but I only have sisters I don’t feel negative towards it but I was very sheltered and didn’t realize how polarizing it was

i understand. when i became born again in 1993, the 1st issue God conversed with me was to forgive my parents. it had occurred immediately, i didn't even have to try to forgive them, it was done. that's God's grace & power!

 

[OMC]

Yes excatly! It’s just shocking to me how polarizing it is because I just feel it’s how it’s meant to be. Sorry it’s hard for me to explain

Please don't apologize.
I actually think you're explaining it very well.
Sometimes the things we grow up with feel so normal and natural that we don't even realize other people see them differently.
Then one day you discover that views on family, discipline, faith, or gender roles can be incredibly polarizing, and it's genuinely surprising because to you they were simply part of everyday life.
I can understand why that would feel a little jarring.
It's hard to put words an experience that most people around you may not share.
Coming from an atheist background much of what I have been through is based in changing the old into the new. Some understand the experience others do not.

 

[Lanolin]

I have a similar thing of being 'different' from everyone else, but I put that in my own thread 'Everyone's different'. (on this family forum) you can read it if you like, I'll bring it up again.

Being a Christian in places where everyone else is not can be disconcerting too. Like a lily amongst thorns.

 

[Lanolin]

Sorry correction to my previous post, I had a search for it, but its in the Miscellaneous forum. Mostly where I like to post all the posts that don't fit into the other forums. It's different! And I misremembered it, I titled it 'We're all different'.

My mum used to say to me 'We're all different' (even amongst siblings) meaning we each have our own character, even if we'd been born into the same family and raised the same.

 

[Karlon]

I have a similar thing of being 'different' from everyone else, but I put that in my own thread 'Everyone's different'. (on this family forum) you can read it if you like, I'll bring it up again.

Being a Christian in places where everyone else is not can be disconcerting too. Like a lily amongst thorns.

on that flat note, pray for our community. you know that there is much ungodliness here in mid n.y.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I grew up in a very strict and sheltered environment where my dad believed girls needed rules, chores, discipline, and to be taught to listen and obey. If we did something wrong, he believed we needed to be spanked. I was homeschooled, attended church twice a week, and regularly participated in Bible studies. Because of how I was raised, I sometimes feel like I’m very different from the rest of the world and am still trying to understand how to fit into a society with values and experiences that are so different from what I grew up knowing.

Don't worry about fitting in. Just be yourself and others will like you for who you are.

 

[Karlon]

Don't worry about fitting in. Just be yourself and others will like you for who you are.

while growing up, i had a severe issue with wanting to fit in. it traveled with me into adulthood too. twas massive. no one wanted or cared about me. same thing with the friends i had. they were also neglected big time. truly, we were the outcasts. a guy named Jesus assisted me thru.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I grew up in a very strict and sheltered environment where my dad believed girls needed rules, chores, discipline, and to be taught to listen and obey. If we did something wrong, he believed we needed to be spanked. I was homeschooled, attended church twice a week, and regularly participated in Bible studies. Because of how I was raised, I sometimes feel like I’m very different from the rest of the world and am still trying to understand how to fit into a society with values and experiences that are so different from what I grew up knowing.

You are sooo blessed!

 

[zeroturbulence]

I grew up in a very strict and sheltered environment where my dad believed girls needed rules, chores, discipline, and to be taught to listen and obey. If we did something wrong, he believed we needed to be spanked. I was homeschooled, attended church twice a week, and regularly participated in Bible studies. Because of how I was raised, I sometimes feel like I’m very different from the rest of the world and am still trying to understand how to fit into a society with values and experiences that are so different from what I grew up knowing.

Another reason not to worry:

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

 

[Burn1986]

I grew up in a very strict and sheltered environment where my dad believed girls needed rules, chores, discipline, and to be taught to listen and obey. If we did something wrong, he believed we needed to be spanked. I was homeschooled, attended church twice a week, and regularly participated in Bible studies. Because of how I was raised, I sometimes feel like I’m very different from the rest of the world and am still trying to understand how to fit into a society with values and experiences that are so different from what I grew up knowing.

Sounds like your dad was pretty strict, possibly a little too strict. But you’re probably better in a good way vs the rest of the world. Parents mess up a lot, but try and see the positives.

 

[Karlon]

Sounds like your dad was pretty strict, possibly a little too strict. But you’re probably better in a good way vs the rest of the world. Parents mess up a lot, but try and see the positives.

that's wise advice!

 

[Burn1986]

that's wise advice!

Thanks man