Divorce

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

 

[Handyman62]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

I can't help you with any scriptures as it's been 9 years since my wife divorced me and I still struggle with it. I didn't see it coming and fought my hardest to prevent it and have yet to understand exactly why it had to happen.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi Tr8cyTr8cy, welcome here to CC and the fellowship you will encounter😊 So sorry to hear your situation and reaching out to other Christians is indeed a wise move. I will pray the Comforter brings you peace and hope while you process this. We all have trials and above all, must keep trust in God's plan for our lives. He knows the beginning from the end and I know there are things He has in store for you. All things are possible, so keep your husband in prayer that the Lord blesses him and HIS will be done. There is the Family Forum, Ladies Forum and Prayer Request Forum fyi. May God bless you with His peace and I would suggest keep busy, possibly with volunteer work🙏✨🙏

 

[Bingo]

"Life changing events happen for many reasons, and often may bring about
unexpected events that bring changes for the better.
'Always have hope with a positive attitude."

 

[soberxp]

If you don't know where to start, start by forgiving others.

proverbs 19:11
The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Luke
11:2 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.
11:3 Give us day by day our daily bread.
11:4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

 

[JohnDB]

Yep,
Been there done that. And where you feel like half of you is missing....there is life after divorce. It isn't the same as being married but it can be good too.

Where you might feel like a victim,(and to some degree perhaps you are) you HAVE to own what you did to contribute to the situation you currently find yourself in. I understand that this isn't exactly what you want to hear....but it's what you need to hear.

If you can adequately figure out why your marriage failed...and you properly heal from the situation, you can try this again.
In the meantime, do NOT try to restore what you lost with any relationship. Make friends, do things you couldn't do before. Be generous in ways that only single people can be. Be kind to others regularly without expecting anything in return. Be courteous. Courtesy is like a drink from a mountain brook, cool and refreshing to all that partake in it.

And most of all....LIVE life. Don't spend the next several years moping about crying about how he done you wrong. (It's not attractive and is repelling)
Get a job, begin working, and taking care of your kids (if you have any) and yourself.

Get a good job that pays...I know some people work hard for cheap as if it's a service to someone. Work is work and charity is charity...I work so I can be generous. That's the object of the exercise. And now you need to be self supportive. Your family may or may not be supportive...they might be a drain on your mental reserves or be too coddling. (I haven't met a normal, functional family yet) So don't necessarily hang out too much with them. Basically be you...

 

[GRACE_ambassador]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome To Chat. Sorry to hear. Will pray for you.
Went through one myself. Kept serving The Lord the best I knew how at the time, praying/waiting patiently for a possible reconcile. The mate re-married someone
else, so I took the ring off and mailed it to her, said bye/moved on.

God healed and sent another - she has been my wonderful mate for 37 years
now, we "esteem each other more highly than the other," trying to outdo
each other in kindness and love. God is So Good. Hope these Scriptures
will be Encouraging and Comforting:

GRACE Word for our infirmities

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II).

Grace, Peace, And JOY!… + RICH Blessings

 

[Cameron143]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

Few things are as devastating in life as going through divorce. From the hurt of betrayal to practical matters of finances and children, one's whole world gets turned upside down.
Additionally, for the Christian, one's whole understanding of God comes front and center. How does a God who hates divorce allow it to happen--especially for His children.
Nothing I will share with you will ease the pain in your heart because only God can heal such pain. But I will offer some thoughts on how God helped me when I experienced a situation similar to yours.

Healing was multiplied to me as I was able to forgive. More aptly, as God worked forgiveness in me.

Understanding was multiplied to me as I sought out God as never before. His word became my meat and drink.

His presence was multiplied to me as I surrendered and accepted His resolution, whatever that might be. For maybe the first time in my life I desired God above what God could do for me. I put the following quote up on my wall so I would read it often each day...Thou Who art all desirable, be all desired by me...

My marriage didn't end in reconciliation. But I do encourage you to continue to pray for yours and do everything in your power in the Lord that yours will. David prayed for his son until there was no further need. This will please God...especially as you pray for reconciliation as a means of Him glorifying His name. I'll join you in prayer as I'm sure many here already have. I truly desire for you and your spouse the richest of blessings.

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

Few things are as devastating in life as going through divorce. From the hurt of betrayal to practical matters of finances and children, one's whole world gets turned upside down.
Additionally, for the Christian, one's whole understanding of God comes front and center. How does a God who hates divorce allow it to happen--especially for His children.
Nothing I will share with you will ease the pain in your heart because only God can heal such pain. But I will offer some thoughts on how God helped me when I experienced a situation similar to yours.

Healing was multiplied to me as I was able to forgive. More aptly, as God worked forgiveness in me.

Understanding was multiplied to me as I sought out God as never before. His word became my meat and drink.

His presence was multiplied to me as I surrendered and accepted His resolution, whatever that might be. For maybe the first time in my life I desired God above what God could do for me. I put the following quote up on my wall so I would read it often each day...Thou Who art all desirable, be all desired by me...

My marriage didn't end in reconciliation. But I do encourage you to continue to pray for yours and do everything in your power in the Lord that yours will. David prayed for his son until there was no further need. This will please God...especially as you pray for reconciliation as a means of Him glorifying His name. I'll join you in prayer as I'm sure many here already have. I truly desire for you and your spouse the richest of blessings.

Oh thank you so much. This was very helpful to me. I loved how you explained it pleased God for David to pray for is son until there was no further need. I can do that too. I can accept whatever God's plan is while still being obedient to God.

Yes the most confusing part is God hates divorce and instructs no man to separate what he brought together. Confusion is of the devil. I do not want to be confused or rely on my own understanding. I will definitely seek God more that what he can do for me. Thank you!

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

I can't help you with any scriptures as it's been 9 years since my wife divorced me and I still struggle with it. I didn't see it coming and fought my hardest to prevent it and have yet to understand exactly why it had to happen.

I pray we both get the peace of God that transcends all understanding today!

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

Hi Tr8cyTr8cy, welcome here to CC and the fellowship you will encounter😊 So sorry to hear your situation and reaching out to other Christians is indeed a wise move. I will pray the Comforter brings you peace and hope while you process this. We all have trials and above all, must keep trust in God's plan for our lives. He knows the beginning from the end and I know there are things He has in store for you. All things are possible, so keep your husband in prayer that the Lord blesses him and HIS will be done. There is the Family Forum, Ladies Forum and Prayer Request Forum fyi. May God bless you with His peace and I would suggest keep busy, possibly with volunteer work🙏✨🙏

Thank you! I appreciate your kind words and all the suggestions. I will do all that ;-)

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

View attachment 248628
"Life changing events happen for many reasons, and often may bring about
unexpected events that bring changes for the better.
'Always have hope with a positive attitude."

Thank you!

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

Yep,
Been there done that. And where you feel like half of you is missing....there is life after divorce. It isn't the same as being married but it can be good too.

Where you might feel like a victim,(and to some degree perhaps you are) you HAVE to own what you did to contribute to the situation you currently find yourself in. I understand that this isn't exactly what you want to hear....but it's what you need to hear.

If you can adequately figure out why your marriage failed...and you properly heal from the situation, you can try this again.
In the meantime, do NOT try to restore what you lost with any relationship. Make friends, do things you couldn't do before. Be generous in ways that only single people can be. Be kind to others regularly without expecting anything in return. Be courteous. Courtesy is like a drink from a mountain brook, cool and refreshing to all that partake in it.

And most of all....LIVE life. Don't spend the next several years moping about crying about how he done you wrong. (It's not attractive and is repelling)
Get a job, begin working, and taking care of your kids (if you have any) and yourself.

Get a good job that pays...I know some people work hard for cheap as if it's a service to someone. Work is work and charity is charity...I work so I can be generous. That's the object of the exercise. And now you need to be self supportive. Your family may or may not be supportive...they might be a drain on your mental reserves or be too coddling. (I haven't met a normal, functional family yet) So don't necessarily hang out too much with them. Basically be you...

Thank you! I receive this!!!! Great advice.
Yes I definitely need to make a lot of money so I can continue to be generous. I love passing out God's money ;-)

 

[Tr8cyTr8cy]

Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome To Chat. Sorry to hear. Will pray for you.
Went through one myself. Kept serving The Lord the best I knew how at the time, praying/waiting patiently for a possible reconcile. The mate re-married someone
else, so I took the ring off and mailed it to her, said bye/moved on.

God healed and sent another - she has been my wonderful mate for 37 years
now, we "esteem each other more highly than the other," trying to outdo
each other in kindness and love. God is So Good. Hope these Scriptures
will be Encouraging and Comforting:

GRACE Word for our infirmities

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II).

Grace, Peace, And JOY!… + RICH Blessings

Thank you for sharing your experience and hope with me. God is so good!

 

[Evmur]

no advise just sympathy and prayers

Welcome to CC

 

[tourist]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

That's a sad story that you have told. There are others here that have their own horror story too regarding divorce, marital abuse, etc. Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you join our family. Welcome to CC.

 

[MiaAnne]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

Hello there, just wanted to share with you that almost 20 years ago my husband sent someone to serve me the divorce paper, at that time, I had just been discharged from the hospital after brain surgery and my daughter was only 4 years old. Now when I looked back, I can see how God has been guiding me and providing for me and my daughter, we never lacked anything, it is amazing! It was not easy, I raised my daughter all by myself and completed my nursing degrees. By the way, my husband gave me all custody over our daughter and he disappeared, he never paid child support. This year my daughter will graduate from medical school and she has been offered jobs at several hospitals.

Please trust the Lord, and stay close to Him, you can always rely on Him, and He will never abandon you. Please try not to focus on your husband or waste your precious time trying to figure out why he left you or thinking perhaps he may return! Please focus on yourself, be kind to yourself, and take great care of yourself. You must believe that things will get better! You will get over this! With God, there is nothing you cannot accomplish! I promise you, I will keep you in my prayers. May God bless you and fill your days with peace.

 

[JohnDB]

Oh thank you so much. This was very helpful to me. I loved how you explained it pleased God for David to pray for is son until there was no further need. I can do that too. I can accept whatever God's plan is while still being obedient to God.

Yes the most confusing part is God hates divorce and instructs no man to separate what he brought together. Confusion is of the devil. I do not want to be confused or rely on my own understanding. I will definitely seek God more that what he can do for me. Thank you!

Woah....

Yes, God hates divorce...but that quote from Malachi is only a sliver of that passage and not exactly in context. What God was saying was that He hates abuse more than divorce. He doesn't like divorce because of the pain it causes his kids. But stuff happens. People make mistakes. God forgives! God forgives completely.

That part about "What God has joined together let no man bring asunder" is NOT scripture....it's a quote by Sir Francis Bacon when he created the now infamous wedding vows that are used during so many weddings today and it's a slice of a quote from the Book of Prayers. (A religious commentary that once was studied instead of scripture)
Yeah....I know right?

Scriptures are scriptures and commentaries are commentaries.
They aren't the same thing. Commentaries aren't always right or have the authority of scriptures. Especially that slice. But we could go back to the 1300's if you want to....women were glorified property back then. People were generally starving or dying of bubonic plague. Everyone died....a LOT. If a couple had five kids three might make it to adulthood and have their own kids. It wasn't like it is today. Just saying.

 

[oyster67]

Hello, I am new here. My husband is divorcing me. I am devastated and seeking not to rely on my own understanding and to allow God to transform me and comfort my broken heart. Do you have any suggestions on what I need to study in the bible to help me with this divorce? I do not want a divorce however it is really happening because my husband has left me and moved on. No sign of reconciliation as of now.

A warm welcome to you sister Tr8cy. We will stand by you and pray with you. All things are possible with God. Trusting Him is not always easy, but it is the right thing to do. Welcome to your new family!

 

[oyster67]

He hates abuse more than divorce.

Divorce is abuse.
Marriages are covenants. Covenants are not to be broken.

That part about "What God has joined together let no man bring asunder" is NOT scripture

Matthew 19:6
“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”