Do Parents and Married People Get Told By Others to "Get a Life"?

[seoulsearch]

From the other side of the coin... Do you ever catch yourself putting other people down as if they don't really have a life? Do you ever disparage people for having a lesser job than yours? What about doing a lesser job than you do?

Personally sometimes I have to be careful. Sometimes people at my job are just lazy, and sometimes they really cannot move as fast as other people. I have to watch it or I will start criticizing them when they are honestly doing the best they can.

I've noticed along the road of life that many have a propensity to rack and stack people with themselves always at or near the top. That's the basis for a lot of prejudices. As Believers, we're more likely not to place ourselves above others as we develop the heart of a servant, but still... it happens (we're not perfect).

I have also noticed this tendency, in others and in myself, and I think it is the root cause of all the judgmental attitudes. Everybody wants to feel good about themselves. It stinks, it causes a lot of junk, but I understand the urge to do it all too well.

Thank you, gentlemen, for bringing up these points.

I was raised in a church where everyone who wasn't part of a nuclear family (with at least 4 children) was pretty much seen as a moral and spiritual failure (at least that's how it always felt to me.)

Single parents and those divorced were tolerated in minute numbers but whispered about. I still remember the classmate whose single mom was said by the other women to "have a revolving door in her house for men." Since I was just a kid, I was thinking to myself, "How could they fit a whole revolving door in the side of their house?!" I also saw it as kind of a carnival ride and thought it might be fun.

I have no idea if it was true or not, but this is what was being said at potlucks and such.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, single people were expected to marry and working on producing several children right away. Anyone around say, 24 (the perfect age to have become a synod teacher -- more grace and time was given to young men seeking to be pastors) was seen as being fatally flawed.

People who didn't become denominational pastors or teachers were also considered much lesser in the spiritual hierarchy. Business people were recruited for financial giving but never listened to when it came to sticking to a budget or getting/staying out of debt.

As an adult, I came to despise the attitudes I grew up not just hearing or seeing, but feeling to the core as I was learning the pecking order myself.

One of my lifetime goals is to try to ask God to hopefully eradicate as much of this from myself as possible. But as could be expected, I picked up my own collection of biases along the way, and have to ask God to work on those as well.

Thank you for this reminder that it's an ever-present self-awareness we all must maintain.

 

[Cameron143]

Hi Cameron,

I appreciate the sound spiritual reminder. I always admire your unshakeable faith.

I have to admit to slightly envying anyone who has truly learned to be content in every situation due knowing that their true life is with Jesus.

Right now I have to admit to struggling in my faith. I was always taught about how wonderful heaven would be, how there will be no more tears, poverty, and sickness, and how everything would be perfect "when we are with Jesus."

So I grew up thinking, "Why wouldn't everyone want to get to Jesus as soon as possible?"

I have some people in my life who are facing what seems like insurmountable challenges. And sometimes there is a thought that dying immediately would be ideal, because we would finally be "with Jesus." We are trying, but struggling, to find that rest with the Lord we are promised. I know it's there somewhere.

Thank you for all the spiritual encouragement you post on the site. Some of us are a bit lagging behind in our journey, but it's always good to have fellow believers reminding us of The Way.

I appreciate the kind words, but there are no super Christians; only those who walk by faith and those who don't. I do challenge you the next time circumstances seem unpleasant to you to pray and rather than looking for a way out to look for where Jesus joins in. Your entire outlook will be altered. Instead of looking for an end of your problems, you will be looking for the manifestation of God. Your circumstances become a door to an encounter with God. This is what God created you for...this is eternal life, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent...

 

[Lynx]

I appreciate the kind words, but there are no super Christians; only those who walk by faith and those who don't. I do challenge you the next time circumstances seem unpleasant to you to pray and rather than looking for a way out to look for where Jesus joins in. Your entire outlook will be altered. Instead of looking for an end of your problems, you will be looking for the manifestation of God. Your circumstances become a door to an encounter with God. This is what God created you for...this is eternal life, that they might know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent...

Oh believe me... Challenging her has been well covered. There is no need to further challenge her to do anything. It has been thoroughly taken care of.

 

[SomeDisciple]

I'm at an age now where this kind of "insult" doesn't really bother me, but I was thinking about what the equivalent might be for single parents and those who are married. Even after marriage and family (or just family,) do people still somehow try to tell you to "get a life"?

From what I hear from my married associates, they experience a more "polite" social vampirism. You're not a loser- you're married after all... but you should get out more, etc. You are "sheltered" if you don't know about the latest stupid worldly thing of little consequence.

 

[Lynx]

From what I hear from my married associates, they experience a more "polite" social vampirism. You're not a loser- you're married after all... but you should get out more, etc. You are "sheltered" if you don't know about the latest stupid worldly thing of little consequence.

Up until a few years ago. But now it's the latest tiktok thing.

I mean, what kind of idiot doesn't know about Pig Snot? It's the latest thing, everybody on tiktok is doing it.

 

[Trying]

Hey Everyone,

Last night I was in a financial Discord chat where some single male members were slinging the usual insults at each other. One of them finally concluded by saying, "Oh yeah? Well at least I have a life. I go out and talk to REAL, ACTUAL women."

I understand this criticism, especially since I'm an introvert in the time of being able to live a lot of life online. But in single circles -- even Christian ones, too often this means that the assumed "loser" "doesn't have a life" is labeled as such just because he/she isn't constantly on the prowl for phone numbers and multiple dates with multiple strangers they've just met.

For some reason, "throwing all your energy and resources into constant awkward social meetings" means "having a life."

I'm at an age now where this kind of "insult" doesn't really bother me, but I was thinking about what the equivalent might be for single parents and those who are married. Even after marriage and family (or just family,) do people still somehow try to tell you to "get a life"?

I remember catching an episode of a very old sitcom called "The Mommies," which was about two everyday suburban moms' daily lives. In this particular episode, their neighbor, "Perfect Mom," told them how every week, she had some kind of "Cultural Lesson Night" for her kids. This would involve cooking some kind of exotic foreign food, then teaching them about the culture and language it came from.

And of course, these two poor Moms were looking at her, frazzled and exhausted, just trying to do their best -- but feeling very much like society was comparing and condemning them for not being "Perfect Mom."

I just wanted to hug them.

* Is the the equivalent of parents/marrieds being told to "Get a Life?" By having people constantly rub it in on how they're supposedly doing a much better job?

* What kinds of pressure do you feel from society that makes you feel as if you're "always behind" when it comes to marriage and family life?

* What challenges do you face in church that make you feel as if you "are never doing enough?"

* What could the church do to help ease these burdens?

I'm just wondering what life is like for those on the other side of the coin.

Well its easy really, stop being concerned with what others think, or you will always
be insecure and look to others for your pointers.

Be yourself, you have a life, whether single or married do things that make you happy and are in keeping with the teachings of Christ.

 

[GaryA]

Up until a few years ago. But now it's the latest tiktok thing.

I mean, what kind of idiot doesn't know about Pig Snot? It's the latest thing, everybody on tiktok is doing it.

'Pig Snot' or 'Pig Snorts' ?

I must be that idiot because I don't think I have ever heard of it... (as a [social] "thing")

(I have rarely ever been on tiktok - only when following a link someone posted, etc. - I really don't give that site much attention.)

 

[Lynx]

'Pig Snot' or 'Pig Snorts' ?

I must be that idiot because I don't think I have ever heard of it... (as a [social] "thing")

(I have rarely ever been on tiktok - only when following a link someone posted, etc. - I really don't give that site much attention.)

The part about pig snot was sarcasm, to illustrate a point. I have not been bored enough to watch TikTok, so people at my job often consider me hopelessly out of the loop because I don't know about the latest TikTok reference they are talking about.

I don't know offhand what the current latest reference is called, but it could be pig snot for all I know. Maybe a challenge to kiss a pig on the nose or something. Who knows?

 

[jacko]

Something you’ll never understand unless you experience it firsthand. I never was a dog person until I had a dog and then once I had my own dog, I got it. With regards to parenting, I say hands-down it’s been the biggest earthly joy of my entire life.

 

[Karlon]

sure do, but much of that is just senseless repeated comment without meaning. i have never been told that. it would be impossible actually. why? because i was always a busyaholic & still am. so is my wife.