I'm a univert, but only because I'm so resistant to conformity.
Do You Find Being Around People Exhausting? How Do You Cope?
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Even though I am more extroverted than introverted I too need time alone and truly cannot handle people much these days. Not because I do not like people. There's a story behind that feeling. 
Do tell...Even though I am more extroverted than introverted I too need time alone and truly cannot handle people much these days. Not because I do not like people. There's a story behind that feeling.
I can't be around too many even family at Christmas I def need a nap or downtime to recover (have big family)
Imagine, my mum escaped a country of over a BILLION people, to a city of 3.9 million in a very tiny space to a country that at the time, only had 3 million (and under a million in Auckland)
She LOVED having a 3-4 bedroom house with a backyard and not having to squeeze into a tiny apartment with 9 other family members the size of our garage. So I def think where she was coming from, was in some ways handed on to me, who loves peace and quiet and can't even handle a classroom/library of just 30-70 children. Who don't know how to read quietly lol
I coped by escaping to my tiny office under the stairs, or the corner of the library where I could close the door. But even then the children wanted to come in lol
Imagine, my mum escaped a country of over a BILLION people, to a city of 3.9 million in a very tiny space to a country that at the time, only had 3 million (and under a million in Auckland)
She LOVED having a 3-4 bedroom house with a backyard and not having to squeeze into a tiny apartment with 9 other family members the size of our garage. So I def think where she was coming from, was in some ways handed on to me, who loves peace and quiet and can't even handle a classroom/library of just 30-70 children. Who don't know how to read quietly lol
I coped by escaping to my tiny office under the stairs, or the corner of the library where I could close the door. But even then the children wanted to come in lol
Well I love to be around people. However I do love time to just paint and make music, etc. Confession: right now the closest conversation I have had was with a cute little snail this morning outside.
Do you think God is telling you this? Introversion isn't exactly a personal preference. To me, that makes about as much sense as wondering if you are too much of a korean chick, and wondering if you should be more of a white guy like SomeDisciple.
Are there situations where we ought to press our social fatigue limitations? Sure there are. But that doesn't mean we need to feel bad about having them- as if extraversion were some virtue to aspire to. Have you ever met an extravert that felt bad about their social vamprism? Do you think they go to God and pray "Lord, please help me shut up for once in my life"? That's probably never happened.
There are definitely times I feel God is telling me I'm not putting in enough work, and that includes at making more effort to be more outgoing in certain situations.
Like right now.
I'm not on CC as much bc I've felt God was telling me to spend more time serving people and being present in real life, even though my more introverted self often prefers online.
I would consider myself "socially awkward" and often find myself in situations where I don't connect well. I usually do best in 1 on 1 conversations/encounters, but even some of those I have difficulty. As I've reflected on it, I come to the conclusion that it has to do with how much time I spent online growing up; AIM and other instant messaging was my main form of communication, which gives the luxury of really thinking through what you want to say or how to form what you want to say before you say it. In active conversations with people, I feel that I am slow and that people are like "???" - lol
I'm more of a listen & respond person, but reflecting on that, it has to do with some of my flaws/past encounters with people when growing up. I often don't know what I want or bend to what others want, which is rooted in fear of rejection/conflict (it isn't always a bad thing to be compromising or to consider what others want, but it can turn into a bad thing if I'm compromising morals or if I'm agreeing to do something I deep down don't want to do, which is also a tricky item, because there are also instances where I should do something when I don't want to).
Generally, I am a "keep to myself" kind of person, and I enjoy my own company and space.
I've always thought I was this way, but there was one instance where I actually didn't feel this way, which was surprising to me.
I was pursuing a gal for a little bit last year after having a kind of vision/understanding about her that she's a woman like my grandma (I hold my grandma in high regard, very sweet lady).
I went on a date with her and was talking with her for a while and found myself genuinely wanting to be around her. (I'm not usually the one initiating hang-outs or things, I usually go along for the ride.)
I ended up breaking things off with the gal after the first date because I saw some things that I didn't like when considering the future.
I've wrestled with this a lot and am even considering pursuing her again, as I do genuinely enjoy her as a person and her company. We're currently friends, and I do care about her a lot.
* Do you find being around people exhausting? Why or why not? (Extroverts -- those who draw their energy from being around people -- utterly fascinate me and I often wonder what it's like to be one. If we have an extroverts here, I would love to hear your perspective!)
It depends on the person and the situation. I don't have very many close friends or people I hang out with in general, likely due to this. If the encounter is demanding or the people run at a different speed than me, sometimes it is exhausting for me to keep up. I think I'm slower than most
* Are there only certain people that exhaust you, but not others? Or are there certain people you find energizing rather than exhausting? Give us some examples.
People that don't exhaust me are my parents, my sister, and a couple of my friends. It is mostly in scenarios where I don't feel pressure to "be." Sometimes I feel people need more than I am on the regular, which is fine and dandy, but that's where it can get draining. Parties and social gatherings can be draining because I have trouble finding ways to connect and often feel "outside"
* What things do you have to do in between times of being around people to "reset yourself" again?
I usually just hang out at home and play video games
or watch something on YouTube or a movie. I also sometimes go out to eat by myself or go to a thrift store, or sometimes I'll even just take the freeway around the city and just listen to music and come home.The best rest I receive is taking time to connect with God, be it prayer or reading the word or playing guitar.
* Do you ever feel God tells you that you're TOO introverted -- and you need to start stepping out more to serve in the way He's calling you?
Yes. I serve as a deacon at my church and am feeling God leading me more towards opening up my home for people to come and fellowship/eat. Coming soon - TBD.
I think I'm too much of a korean chick.
Believe it or not, I think this is actually possible for anyone who identifies with more than one race or culture.
I've always been a generic white kid at heart. I've never really had any interest in an Asian identity or any of that. I don't see myself as Korean except by biology but there are times when God has told me to pay more attention to that side of my heritage in certain situations or with certain people.
For instance, I've been in circumstances where I knew God was telling me someone needed a familiar Asian face, even though I didn't have the cultural background.
Like the time I was part of a group in college that taught about STD's, and a girl who had been through a difficult situation called our director and specifically asked to talk to me -- because she was Asian and wanted another Asian to talk to, even though I'm as white on the inside as a loaf of Wonder bread. But I knew God was telling me to consider the tidbits I knew about traditional Asian culture that would handle what she'd been through much differently than from the American perspective.
I've had situations like this happen at work as well. I'm always in-between -- races, cultures, extremes of beliefs, and most anything in life.
It exhausts me to try to pull more towards one direction than the other, especially if the other side is more unfamiliar, but I have no doubt there are times when God tells me I need to do it.
But that's just my own experience, and it might be different for anyone else.
huh well I think alone time is very important, I mean artists need that time to be inspired, otherwise they probably just copying everyone else. Or going with the crowd.Do share your thoughts on my response
I suppose it's all about balance.
Collectivist culture is good if you feel you actually belong, but if you are different in many ways from the group will either reject you or try to make you over so you fit. But trying to jam in square pegs in a round holes doesn't work.
The square peg needs to find a square hole?
The square peg needs to find a square hole?
I was thinking strictly in terms of biology; but in terms of culture, 100%... Some white people are racist, rapists, or just faggots in other ways and give asian/other minorites the wrong impression, in which case your biology is quite useful in untangling these sorts of messes. Immersive cultural knowledge would add to that value- although learning things you aren't necessarily interested in can be quite taxing; and retention may be even more taxing.My strategy, if I felt a necessity to acquaint myself with a foreign culture, would be to begin by finding the intersections between my interests and that culture. For example, I would not begin with modern K-pop; because I think most pop is gay across every culture. Instead, I would start with dynastic and military history and broaden my perspective from there.
I suppose that could be. Although, in the scriptures, we don't see too many instances of Jesus or the apostles criticizing people for not being outgoing- that's usually a worldly-folk tactic they use to drag people into their nonsense.
If it makes you feel better, Paul did the same thing.
1 Cor 9:19-22 ASV
19. For though I was free from all men, I brought myself under bondage to all, that I might gain the more.
20. And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, not being myself under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
21. to them that are without law, as without law, not being without law to God, but under law to Christ, that I might gain them that are without law.
22. To the weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak: I am become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some.