Does "Pretty Privilege" Exist?
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I can't stress enough how true it is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And usually if someone is considered unattractive, I believe it mostly has to do with their attitude or lack of care for their body or attire.
I had another friend that asked me straight up if I thought she's pretty. Oh that was so hard to answer! Cuz she was not strikingly beautiful by any means. But I told her something about her kindness and how that makes her pretty to me. And I'm realizing so much that you don't think about someone's looks near as much if they're kind.
I had another friend that asked me straight up if I thought she's pretty. Oh that was so hard to answer! Cuz she was not strikingly beautiful by any means. But I told her something about her kindness and how that makes her pretty to me. And I'm realizing so much that you don't think about someone's looks near as much if they're kind.
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It can be an advantage, but it's a curious one. It only exists in a social setting, with other people. It has no advantage if you are alone.
It's also a lot harder to leverage for useful purposes. Height, intelligence, strength, all can be used to make life better for the wielder and those around him. Pretty is much harder to do anything useful with.
The question with being pretty, as with any other advantage, is what are you doing with it? Intelligent people can help others around them or they can be obnoxious show-offs. Same with strength and height. If you are pretty, can you use it for other people or only for yourself? Is it even possible to help other people with this advantage?
The main downside of being pretty is, you don't know if people really like you or if they just like your body. Pretty people get depressed a lot, from what I have seen. I have a theory that it is mostly because pretty people can never be completely sure others like them for themselves.
It's also a lot harder to leverage for useful purposes. Height, intelligence, strength, all can be used to make life better for the wielder and those around him. Pretty is much harder to do anything useful with.
The question with being pretty, as with any other advantage, is what are you doing with it? Intelligent people can help others around them or they can be obnoxious show-offs. Same with strength and height. If you are pretty, can you use it for other people or only for yourself? Is it even possible to help other people with this advantage?
The main downside of being pretty is, you don't know if people really like you or if they just like your body. Pretty people get depressed a lot, from what I have seen. I have a theory that it is mostly because pretty people can never be completely sure others like them for themselves.
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Please excuse me if I sound impolite in this reply , I promise that it's not my intention but , I will say what I really feel if u don't mind . Only a man could ever ask that question and not know the answer to it 😯 . As a woman , I'm not even going to attempt to answer it , and I don't know any woman on earth that doesn't know the answer to that question 🥴 . I hope my honesty has not offended u brother .
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Actually there are some pretty girls who don't understand pretty privilege. They just think there are a lot of really nice people in the world.
I'm not saying the converse is false. There are some pretty girls who are fully aware of their privilege and use it for their benefit. But there are some who really don't know about it.
Side note:
Why do we assume it's always about girls? There are pretty guys who get pretty privilege...
I'm not saying the converse is false. There are some pretty girls who are fully aware of their privilege and use it for their benefit. But there are some who really don't know about it.
Side note:
Why do we assume it's always about girls? There are pretty guys who get pretty privilege...
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I assumed it was about girls because the word pretty was used , handsome is the word I would use for a man . Bless your innocent heart 😆😆😆 u really think that there r pretty girls who don't know they r pretty ? Bless u 😇 . Maybe before they r about 15 years old , but after that ? No chance sundance 🤪 .
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This thread reminds me of one girl I was taking home on the church bus, and she was kind of despondent because people did not treat her like an adult yet. She was about 14 at the time, but looked younger.
I said on the bright side, you still have something a lot of girls your age would love to hang on to. You're still cute. You can get away with a lot when you're cute.
She perked up immediately and started relating things she had in fact gotten away with because she was cute.
I thought, oh great. I've created a monster. This is just wonderful.
I said on the bright side, you still have something a lot of girls your age would love to hang on to. You're still cute. You can get away with a lot when you're cute.
She perked up immediately and started relating things she had in fact gotten away with because she was cute.
I thought, oh great. I've created a monster. This is just wonderful.
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Hi Smoke! Excellent thread topic! Everyone here has given some great feedback, and I just have a few thoughts to add.
All my life, I feel like God has played a big trick on me. I have always wanted to be a redhead. Red is my favorite color; people tell me I have the fiery attitude of a redhead; and I'm also told I'm very... "unique", which I think would suit red hair perfectly.
But what did God do instead? He gave me redheaded friends. All my life, I have had at least one redheaded friend, and right how I have three. It's like God is laughing right in my face.
I have learned (for myself) to Never. Try. To. Compete. With. A. Redhead. Just stay in the background and get used to being invisible.
Unless you are a stunning blonde or otherworldly beautiful, you don't stand a chance.
The girl my then-husband left me for was a redhead (technically strawberry blonde.)
Ironically, on one stretch of the long haul of trying to process him divorcing me, God put me in a specific prayer line at a conference. It was totally "at random," as there were about 5 lines going, any which I could have been sent to.
But it wasn't random to God. The woman He sent me to prayer for was, you guessed it -- a redhead -- though her red hair was from a bottle and not natural like the others.
I could only shake my head at God's irony.
All my life, I feel like God has played a big trick on me. I have always wanted to be a redhead. Red is my favorite color; people tell me I have the fiery attitude of a redhead; and I'm also told I'm very... "unique", which I think would suit red hair perfectly.
But what did God do instead? He gave me redheaded friends. All my life, I have had at least one redheaded friend, and right how I have three. It's like God is laughing right in my face.
I have learned (for myself) to Never. Try. To. Compete. With. A. Redhead. Just stay in the background and get used to being invisible.
Unless you are a stunning blonde or otherworldly beautiful, you don't stand a chance.
The girl my then-husband left me for was a redhead (technically strawberry blonde.)
Ironically, on one stretch of the long haul of trying to process him divorcing me, God put me in a specific prayer line at a conference. It was totally "at random," as there were about 5 lines going, any which I could have been sent to.
But it wasn't random to God. The woman He sent me to prayer for was, you guessed it -- a redhead -- though her red hair was from a bottle and not natural like the others.
I could only shake my head at God's irony.
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It's important to talk about the downside of pretty privilege.
The extremely pretty people I've met often have a lot of trauma due to people being noticing them for the wrong reasons. I'm thinking of both a man and a woman I knew who were STUNNING, but even from childhood, people noticed for the nefarious purposes, and the adults used them for their own interests.
The guy I knew had been prostituted by his own father to fund a drug habit. The woman I knew had been molested by almost every man in power over her -- a pastor, a policeman, and a coach later attempted. Now of course, this can happen to anyone, but throughout their lives, these people knew they were magnets for such attention due to their looks.
I've also heard stories of people being nice to pretty people, buying them things, etc. and then demanding, or feeling entitled to that person's company (or more) because of it.
I recently read about a woman who grew up with pretty privilege that got her into the "IT" social scene. Because of her looks, her way was usually paid for (though at times, she was expected to make "payments" of her own.) As she got into her late 30's, she started to lose her looks, and now, in her 40's, she doesn't go anywhere because she's "ashamed to have anyone see me now." She talked about feeling suicidal because of this.
I think at one point, nearly everyone dreams of what it would be like to be extremely good-looking.
But when I hear about or read stories like this, sometimes being lost in the background isn't so bad.
The extremely pretty people I've met often have a lot of trauma due to people being noticing them for the wrong reasons. I'm thinking of both a man and a woman I knew who were STUNNING, but even from childhood, people noticed for the nefarious purposes, and the adults used them for their own interests.
The guy I knew had been prostituted by his own father to fund a drug habit. The woman I knew had been molested by almost every man in power over her -- a pastor, a policeman, and a coach later attempted. Now of course, this can happen to anyone, but throughout their lives, these people knew they were magnets for such attention due to their looks.
I've also heard stories of people being nice to pretty people, buying them things, etc. and then demanding, or feeling entitled to that person's company (or more) because of it.
I recently read about a woman who grew up with pretty privilege that got her into the "IT" social scene. Because of her looks, her way was usually paid for (though at times, she was expected to make "payments" of her own.) As she got into her late 30's, she started to lose her looks, and now, in her 40's, she doesn't go anywhere because she's "ashamed to have anyone see me now." She talked about feeling suicidal because of this.
I think at one point, nearly everyone dreams of what it would be like to be extremely good-looking.
But when I hear about or read stories like this, sometimes being lost in the background isn't so bad.
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There's an old movie from 2000 that highlights some of the advantages -- and downfalls -- of pretty privilege.
I've never seen this movie and wouldn't recommend it as it definitely doesn't have Christian themes, but I've read a lot about it and have listened to reviews, because it makes some important points.
The movie is called "Malena," and stars Monica Bellucci, whom I personally think is one of the most beautiful women of all time.
In this scene, she takes out a cigarette, and you can see how every man within arm's reach offers her a light.
But there are very dark sides to being beautiful.
The women mercilessly harass and beat her out of jealousy, and the men do "favors" for her, knowing she has a husband -- but one way or another -- they demand payment for "being nice" to her because of her beauty.
I've never seen this movie and wouldn't recommend it as it definitely doesn't have Christian themes, but I've read a lot about it and have listened to reviews, because it makes some important points.
The movie is called "Malena," and stars Monica Bellucci, whom I personally think is one of the most beautiful women of all time.
In this scene, she takes out a cigarette, and you can see how every man within arm's reach offers her a light.
But there are very dark sides to being beautiful.
The women mercilessly harass and beat her out of jealousy, and the men do "favors" for her, knowing she has a husband -- but one way or another -- they demand payment for "being nice" to her because of her beauty.
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I think psychologically - perhaps subconsciously - people presume those who are beautiful are also good, and often, those who are ugly are also bad. I guess this can be an advantage for beautiful women who can receive preferential treatment. I think it could also be a disadvantage, as there are lots of creeps in society, who for similar reasons are more likely to target beautiful women than someone else they presume to be "one of their own".
Usually looks are only for initial contact, though, and a beautiful woman who let the ugliness inside show will become less desirable, and plainer women who let the beauty inside show will become more beautiful. To a point - I mean, I doubt the ugly duckling would ever become Cinderella, but she may well be viewed more favourably than someone with the looks and voice of Ariel but the character of Ursula.
I think men are judged slightly differently. Not on beauty, but more on something else - appearance of masculinity? For example, I'd probably be more trusting of a well-built guy with rough hands, a beard and working class clothes than a guy with limp wrists, a smooth effeminate face and a suit. But I guess it depends on environment. If one is in trouble with the police and seeking a lawyer, the guy in the suit may get the preferential selection, at least initially?
Looks are important for first impressions, but after first contact, other factors are also considered.
Usually looks are only for initial contact, though, and a beautiful woman who let the ugliness inside show will become less desirable, and plainer women who let the beauty inside show will become more beautiful. To a point - I mean, I doubt the ugly duckling would ever become Cinderella, but she may well be viewed more favourably than someone with the looks and voice of Ariel but the character of Ursula.
I think men are judged slightly differently. Not on beauty, but more on something else - appearance of masculinity? For example, I'd probably be more trusting of a well-built guy with rough hands, a beard and working class clothes than a guy with limp wrists, a smooth effeminate face and a suit. But I guess it depends on environment. If one is in trouble with the police and seeking a lawyer, the guy in the suit may get the preferential selection, at least initially?
Looks are important for first impressions, but after first contact, other factors are also considered.
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