Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?

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RodColeman said:
But why does Paul say "the husband of one wife"? In Greek, this literally means a "one-woman man." Why didn't Paul just say "a married man"? Or "husband of a wife"?

Isn't this section of Timothy talking about character qualities? The emphasis is on a person's character, right? So shouldn't the phrase "husband of one wife" should be interpreted with that context in mind? I mean, me being a husband says nothing about my character. What kind of husband I am says something about my character. Is Paul just asking, “Has he ever been divorced?” Or is his real question something like “What kind of marriage does this man have?”

It seems like marriage was just assumed, but it's not not explicitly commanded here. Probably because lifelong singleness was so rare back then that it barely needed addressing.

And, again, there's also the assumption here that the church elder in not only normally married, but that he also normally has children. These passages assume that the elders have wives and have children. So if one argues that a pastor or church elder is required to be married, well, then you also need to argue that he's also required to have children.

It's assumed that a church elder here will be married. But, if Paul meant to include a command here that they're required to marry, it seems like he could have stated that more explicitly.

And what if a pastor's wife suddenly dies? Is the church now required to remove him from his post? And wouldn't this exclude from eldership all widowers who remarry?

Paul himself was single, and he encouraged others to follow his example, like in 1 Corinthians 7. So why would Paul require marriage for church leaders when he praises singleness elsewhere?

Also, in 1 Timothy 5, Paul uses a similar phrase (actually an identical phrase) when telling Timothy to care for widows, and when he tells Timothy to make sure care goes to needy and deserving widows. Paul refers to "the wife of one husband" in verses 9-10. So a widow who receives financial support from her church should be one who lives a visibly moral life.
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I think he did it that way so LGTBQ groups can't say they are qualified for the ministry, that a legitimate marriage is between a man and a woman. I think he didn't use a husband of a wife or people who have been married multiple times may try to get into ministry. I think he was trying to make it clear that A man has to be married to a woman and cannot have had more than one wife in his life time. Don't forget having multiple sexual partners speaks to your moral character, outside of marriage its fornication, with after marriage it become adultry.

Well their is nothing wrong with having children, God said in Genesis be fruitful and multiply, I think that was one of the purposes of establishing marriage. If the pastors wife dies, I think it would be up to the Pastor and the congregation to decide if he is to continue ministry or step down.
 
Lanolin said:
The thing I find interesting is that it says 'not a novice' i.e not someone who does't have any experience. But then I do wonder about the young pastors in their twenties who go into pastoring and have never had any kind of real-world job prior to that.

The widowed pastor of the baptist church I was in was a former policeman and his wife was a nurse.

In many churches the singles are the evangelists and missionaries. They go out into the world on the mission field they don't stay at home. They probably didn't even have houses of their own anyway. Although we do know Peter was married in the early church.
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I think that is it, a young man who wants to go into ministry needs to serve in the church before they can become a pastor and really learn to understand what the ministry is all about.
 
I_am_Canadian said:
If the pastors wife dies, I think it would be up to the Pastor and the congregation to decide if he is to continue ministry or step down.
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I think if the pastor's wife dies the church should rally around him and offer him a paid leave of absence so he can grieve. If people were questioning the pastor's ability to continue to do his job because he's just been through one of the hardest things in his life, I'd be looking for a new church where I could count on people to care about me when the going gets tough.
 
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cinder said:
I think if the pastor's wife dies the church should rally around him and offer him a paid leave of absence so he can grieve. If people were questioning the pastor's ability to continue to do his job because he's just been through one of the hardest things in his life, I'd be looking for a new church where I could count on people to care about me when the going gets tough.
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Yes well that what happened at my church I was going to, why would he have to step down? Life happens and pastors are not infallible. Most churches have more than one pastor as churches don't just have 12 people or less.
 
1DaisyGurl said:
As for me I'm relying on God to direct me, right now I'm focusing on Him.
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Where has he directed you to go? Stay in church, and do what ministries? Or maybe go into the mission field outside of it?

I mean it's different for everyone, but I'd be interested in hearing about where the Lord takes everyone esp singles who aren't tied to a house, children and spouse.
 
Lanolin said:
Have you figured it out yet?

I mean where we are supposed to go.
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Working on it. I am only one man and their are only so many hours in a day. Dont forget, I still have to prepare for a tribunal hearing in December and get my issue with Rogers resolved, and stop procrastinating on my online course for work from home travel agent.

Can we say bye bye sanity lol
 
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cinder said:
I think if the pastor's wife dies the church should rally around him and offer him a paid leave of absence so he can grieve. If people were questioning the pastor's ability to continue to do his job because he's just been through one of the hardest things in his life, I'd be looking for a new church where I could count on people to care about me when the going gets tough.
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That would actually be a good idea. I think that is the only instance where a pastor should be able to make his own descision about continuing in ministry or stepping down,
 
Lanolin said:
Where has he directed you to go? Stay in church, and do what ministries? Or maybe go into the mission field outside of it?

I mean it's different for everyone, but I'd be interested in hearing about where the Lord takes everyone esp singles who aren't tied to a house, children and spouse.
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For whatever Gods reasoning is, He's been quiet. I'm retired now, I have led a fast-paced life and now it seems it's a season to be quiet and reflect and just draw closer to God. As to what or where I am to do or go, not sure perhaps certain family member need me close for now.
 
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