Domestic Violence Support and Safety Form.
- Thread starter Branch
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Awesome info, narcissism seems to align with the scripture of those to turn away from in these last of the last days.
The "heady and high-minded" part especially.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/2-Timothy-3-4/
blessings
If you’re forced to stay with an abusive spouse and they can be reasoned with, try the methods listed in Jay Carter’s book (Nasty People: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Becoming One of Them). If they cannot be reasoned with and you can’t escape, don’t engage or give them any information they can use to pick fights with you. The more they know, the more reasons they have to argue with you. The more ammunition they'll have against you, they'll use it against you. Live submissively—that’s how you’re going to have to live—and he still might beat you. And don't think you're safe just because you’re living submissively. Every time he beats you, you’ll never know if that could be the last. It would be best to get out, but if it's not possible, be praying all the time. There's always hope with Christ. Take one day at a time, pray constantly: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
A picture of Don Quixote jousting just came to mind.
best wishes.
I understand this is a public forum, but healthy interaction—even in public spaces—requires respecting personal boundaries. When I indicate that a topic or behavior is harmful, ignoring that and continuing contact can feel invalidating and place the blame on the person setting those boundaries rather than addressing the harm. This dynamic mirrors how abuse continues when victims are told their discomfort doesn't matter. I am simply asking that my boundaries be respected so that this remains a safe environment for everyone.
Tim has continued to abuse me, and the moderators have allowed it to happen. I suspect @Oncefallen may be involved. I am angry and disgusted that I ever supported this site.
The mods are very good here. But they are also busy. You can ignore any user that you are having issues with. You will not see their posts again.
Lady, you’re like twice my age … I think, and I’m not sure what you’ve learned from this thing called life.
Here’s what I’ve learned in my short time here which feels like 5 centuries.
The whole fallen world is a stage for abuse to happen. But it’s also a place where wonderful things can happen, including Miracles from God in this other miracle we call life.
When people are hurt mentally or physically , they have many different ways to deal with this and all the methods may seem strange to you and me but not to the other person who’s dealing with grief.
What is NOT okay to do is to start using your hurt to hurt others by trying to shut them up in a platform for which you participate to vent about your abuse while trying to shut everyone up when they don’t agree with your coping method.
So, live and learn.
Live and learn.
As Lazarus said when he was raised from the dead : “clay fighting clay”.
He knew that this whole fallen world is a stage but he put God first to live it fully, free, in peace and without fear or regret.
Eli, I opened this space for women who are trying to heal from real trauma — not for debates or belittling remarks. When someone minimizes another person’s pain or mocks what they’ve been through, that only shows how deeply this world misunderstands abuse. Real Christian compassion means listening, comforting, and protecting the brokenhearted, not tearing them down. We don’t overcome darkness by mocking others; we do it by showing grace, truth, and boundaries. If you can’t speak to survivors with gentleness and respect, please refrain from commenting here. This thread exists to support those trying to recover — not to excuse cruelty or disguise it with clever words. To every woman reading: your pain matters, your healing matters, and God sees every tear. Don’t let anyone convince you that standing up for yourself is wrong. Love doesn’t mock — it protects.
Lazarus, raised from the dead by Jesus, likely would have held a strong view against any form of abuse, including a man abusing a woman, rooted in the core biblical principles of love, respect, and justice. While there is no direct scriptural record of Lazarus speaking specifically about abuse, the teachings surrounding him and Jesus emphasize the dignity of every person and the call to love one another as God commands.
Jesus’ ministry, which Lazarus directly experienced through his resurrection miracle, consistently uplifted and protected the vulnerable, including women, and condemned harm done unjustly to others. Jesus showed compassion, respect, and restored dignity to women in many accounts, implying that Lazarus would embody these values in his views as well. Abuse would be seen as a grievous violation of God's law and the inherent worth of every human created in God's image.
In summary, Lazarus, influenced by Jesus’ teachings and resurrection experience, would likely have condemned abuse of women with a call to live in love, peace, and respect for one another as God's children
Jesus’ ministry, which Lazarus directly experienced through his resurrection miracle, consistently uplifted and protected the vulnerable, including women, and condemned harm done unjustly to others. Jesus showed compassion, respect, and restored dignity to women in many accounts, implying that Lazarus would embody these values in his views as well. Abuse would be seen as a grievous violation of God's law and the inherent worth of every human created in God's image.
In summary, Lazarus, influenced by Jesus’ teachings and resurrection experience, would likely have condemned abuse of women with a call to live in love, peace, and respect for one another as God's children
Branch what youre doing is good. Standing up for survivors and giving encouraging words is great! Especially since its October, being domestic abuse awareness month.
Unfortunately you can not make people respect you, or your goals.
And its okay to not agree with you, as long as we remain respectful and understanding. I do agree with you, goal wise.
I genuinely do see how you could take offense to Shittim, as his attitude does come off as harsh. I have very much thought many times that he is rough around the edges. Maybe this isnt his intent, but to us sensitive folk, we certainly can see these things.
I dont think it is tasteful for anyone to continue to disagree in a way that another deems as disrespectful, in most reasonable cases. It takes the focus off of honest discussion, and presents a more emotionally fueled discussion. Emotions are good, but nobody reasons well when we feel strongly.
I see that you feel abused, and thats justified as you spoke up about your boundaries and Shittim did not respect them. But we cant control others, and he probably will continue to butt heads with you. Given that he will probably not stop, I recommend you wait for the moderator to respond, and block him for now. Or maybe, if you can handle it, stop replying to him.
As for Shittim, maybe he feels something too. I know when people use scripture to stop me from behaving a certain way, especially when I am convinced I am right, I can feel as im being spiritually abused. Though I do agree with you, and I believe scripture is on your side, who knows whats going on, right?
I think its important to extend grace and patience towrds those we think are difficult, and perhaps avoid contact if possible. Which I believe in this case it is.
As for Eli, I think fondly of him. I consider him a distant freind in some very loose sense. I dont think that he is advocating for abuse, and I dont believe he would ever hope to. I trust he will see your response and respond respectfully, as he seems to be quite respectful most of the time. Hes a good person.
In any case, feel free to block or ignore anyone who doesnt respect your boundaries, or those you find offensive. This is the internet, none of these people are necessary for you to interact with on a daily basis. I would kind of change my opinion if we had to interact with whoever face to face. Its important to be able to not take offense to things and to be able to be kind and patient with those who are difficult. It shows them what Jesus would do. But also there is always a time where disrespect should not be tolerated, even among those who you see daily. For example when my dad yells at me, I tell him I will not talk to him until hes calm, that I deserve better. And then I accept him openly when hes calm. Though by then, he doesnt want to talk.
Anyway, sorry for this long crazy post. My goal and intent is to help, but I may just be adding fuel to the fire, and if thats the case I sincerely apologize.
Unfortunately you can not make people respect you, or your goals.
And its okay to not agree with you, as long as we remain respectful and understanding. I do agree with you, goal wise.
I genuinely do see how you could take offense to Shittim, as his attitude does come off as harsh. I have very much thought many times that he is rough around the edges. Maybe this isnt his intent, but to us sensitive folk, we certainly can see these things.
I dont think it is tasteful for anyone to continue to disagree in a way that another deems as disrespectful, in most reasonable cases. It takes the focus off of honest discussion, and presents a more emotionally fueled discussion. Emotions are good, but nobody reasons well when we feel strongly.
I see that you feel abused, and thats justified as you spoke up about your boundaries and Shittim did not respect them. But we cant control others, and he probably will continue to butt heads with you. Given that he will probably not stop, I recommend you wait for the moderator to respond, and block him for now. Or maybe, if you can handle it, stop replying to him.
As for Shittim, maybe he feels something too. I know when people use scripture to stop me from behaving a certain way, especially when I am convinced I am right, I can feel as im being spiritually abused. Though I do agree with you, and I believe scripture is on your side, who knows whats going on, right?
I think its important to extend grace and patience towrds those we think are difficult, and perhaps avoid contact if possible. Which I believe in this case it is.
As for Eli, I think fondly of him. I consider him a distant freind in some very loose sense. I dont think that he is advocating for abuse, and I dont believe he would ever hope to. I trust he will see your response and respond respectfully, as he seems to be quite respectful most of the time. Hes a good person.
In any case, feel free to block or ignore anyone who doesnt respect your boundaries, or those you find offensive. This is the internet, none of these people are necessary for you to interact with on a daily basis. I would kind of change my opinion if we had to interact with whoever face to face. Its important to be able to not take offense to things and to be able to be kind and patient with those who are difficult. It shows them what Jesus would do. But also there is always a time where disrespect should not be tolerated, even among those who you see daily. For example when my dad yells at me, I tell him I will not talk to him until hes calm, that I deserve better. And then I accept him openly when hes calm. Though by then, he doesnt want to talk.
Anyway, sorry for this long crazy post. My goal and intent is to help, but I may just be adding fuel to the fire, and if thats the case I sincerely apologize.
Lady, if you want to be the controlling type at your house by logging into your children's accounts in this forum that's fine.
But in a public space you don't get to be the controlling type. Or as it's called in office settings "a micro manager".
Nobody likes a micromanager mainly because they are insecure in their field which makes them micromanagers.
So learn some boundaries yourself about how you apply your controlling nature to others due to your sense of over protection or other reasons.
Maybe you have high anxiety, like my mother .. i don't know. What i do see here is that you want to control others and even shut them up when they don't agree with your coping methods.
And one more thing, a lot of people around the world understand abuse and they have different methods to deal with abuse.
And you're completely out of line when you talk to a girl in Germany about her baby "fighting" with her brothers and you show your controlling nature again making 10,000 assumptions without knowing people.
So learn some boundaries yourself.
"The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways."
— Deuteronomy 28:7 (KJV)
Dear Eli,
I am writing to address the false and unjust accusations you have made against me in the domestic abuse forum. Your claims that I am controlling, micromanaging, and making baseless assumptions about others without knowledge are completely unfounded and unfair. I have only shared my sincere concerns and experiences regarding a specific family situation involving abuse, with no intent to control or harm anyone.
Your characterisation of my words and behaviour is a misrepresentation meant to discredit me. I have not logged into anyone’s accounts, nor have I tried to dominate conversations inappropriately. Instead, I have sought to express truth and support those affected by abuse.
If you are someone who struggles with abusive tendencies, I urge you to seek help. Fighting with me over nothing does not make sense unless there are deeper issues involved, whether it be abuse of women, children, or struggles regarding your identity. I do not understand why you would be so combative unless you have personal demons you need to face and treat.
Because of these false accusations and your disruptive behaviour, I must request the following respectfully but firmly:
Leave me alone. Please respect these boundaries. God bless you.
D
Daisy2
Guest
Ways to Heal
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself while processing hurt and invalidation. Comfort yourself and avoid harsh self-criticism.
Self-Validation: There can be no true healing without kindness first bestowed upon oneself. When one suffers hurt, our human duty is to extend to oneself the gentle mercy we so often reserve for others. be kind in your thoughts toward yourself even as you endure. Actively affirm your feelings and experiences, even if others downplay them. By saying things like
"I am worthy," "My feelings are valid," "I did well" "the truth will always prevail" "God loves me" I am never alone; God is always with me. 'My worth is not defined by others. "I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me"
Seek Support: Engage with trusted people who validate and understand you.
Learn to Set Boundaries: Limit exposure to those who consistently invalidate or dismiss your feelings.
Healthy Stress Relief: now that you have stepped forward in healing embrace wholesome ways to soothe the spirit: the vigor of exercise, the quiet refuge of a well-loved book, or any pursuit that uplifts you. These are not distractions but holy means by which the heart regains its equilibrium.
Nice play lady but your manipulation or whatever your reasons are, cannot be ignored especially since you’re doing all this publicly and then you ask to be left alone.
Let’s do a recap because I think this will be a good exercise for you since you can’t help but to be judgmental and nosy / controlling intentionally or unintentionally.
We are here at this juncture in this topic because on post 85 you said:
“Tim has continued to abuse me, and the moderators have allowed it to happen. I suspect @Oncefallenmay be involved. I am angry and disgusted that I ever supported this site.”
This is where you showed your true colors in this topic.
I say in this topic because I have seen your inappropriate comments to others in many other topics including the prayer section where you made inappropriate and intrusive comments to Demi from Germany.
But let’s try to analyze what you said on post 85 because it will be good for you.
“Tim has continued to abuse me and the moderators have allowed it to happen”
First of all even if this is true, which it isn’t then the first question is:
If the internet is a place of abuse, why do you join the internet?
This can be said for any type of weakness that humans have. If you have problems with drinking, why would you go to a bar?
Secondly, in your judgmental error, why do you want moderators to do something about your imagined “abuse” problem on a public forum?
I have an idea why. Because you’re being manipulative, that’s why.
Then you said:
“I suspect oncefallen is involved”
Is this the same suspicion that you try to do everywhere when you try to be nosy and judgmental including with Demi from Germany?
And let’s not forget the fact where you log in to your children’s account here, which is something that has been pointed out to you by a couple of other members.
“I am angry and disgusted that I ever supported this site”
Is this a page from a playbook from the book of Karen over here?
I mean there’s a lot of things to say here but the first thing that comes to mind is: have you tried praying about your anger in online public forums where you want to control others?
Have you?
So here we are at this juncture because of what you said on post 86.
Now I doubt you’ll ever learn anything from this because this is your nature but I’ll be here to check on your inappropriate comments every time you say them.
Consider me subscribed.
Because in the past I forgave you when you said your inappropriate comments to Demi or others in other topics but I can see that is the wrong thing to do with you.
So consider me subscribed on this public forum where I will be correcting your inappropriate comments to others.
D
Daisy2
Guest
Nice play lady but your manipulation or whatever your reasons are, cannot be ignored especially since you’re doing all this publicly and then you ask to be left alone.
Let’s do a recap because I think this will be a good exercise for you since you can’t help but to be judgmental and nosy / controlling intentionally or unintentionally.
We are here at this juncture in this topic because on post 85 you said:
“Tim has continued to abuse me, and the moderators have allowed it to happen. I suspect @Oncefallenmay be involved. I am angry and disgusted that I ever supported this site.”
This is where you showed your true colors in this topic.
I say in this topic because I have seen your inappropriate comments to others in many other topics including the prayer section where you made inappropriate and intrusive comments to Demi from Germany.
But let’s try to analyze what you said on post 85 because it will be good for you.
“Tim has continued to abuse me and the moderators have allowed it to happen”
First of all even if this is true, which it isn’t then the first question is:
If the internet is a place of abuse, why do you join the internet?
This can be said for any type of weakness that humans have. If you have problems with drinking, why would you go to a bar?
Secondly, in your judgmental error, why do you want moderators to do something about your imagined “abuse” problem on a public forum?
I have an idea why. Because you’re being manipulative, that’s why.
Then you said:
“I suspect oncefallen is involved”
Is this the same suspicion that you try to do everywhere when you try to be nosy and judgmental including with Demi from Germany?
And let’s not forget the fact where you log in to your children’s account here, which is something that has been pointed out to you by a couple of other members.
“I am angry and disgusted that I ever supported this site”
Is this a page from a playbook from the book of Karen over here?
I mean there’s a lot of things to say here but the first thing that comes to mind is: have you tried praying about your anger in online public forums where you want to control others?
Have you?
So here we are at this juncture because of what you said on post 86.
Now I doubt you’ll ever learn anything from this because this is your nature but I’ll be here to check on your inappropriate comments every time you say them.
Consider me subscribed.
Because in the past I forgave you when you said your inappropriate comments to Demi or others in other topics but I can see that is the wrong thing to do with you.
So consider me subscribed on this public forum where I will be correcting your inappropriate comments to others.
Rebuking and correcting is not wrong; it is encouraged in the Bible, especially when a person is promoting sin or something harmful to their spiritual well-being. As with Demi, what really upset my mother was that after her sister-in-law had almost died while giving birth, her brother and sister-in-law were already fighting within maybe a week or two. Demi claimed they were both very toxic and equally at fault. From a psychological standpoint, this is very unlikely. While both parties in a toxic relationship can display harmful behaviors, it is common for there to be a dominant "invalidater"—someone who dismisses or minimizes the other's feelings and experiences. This escalates the situation into an argument. Often, this dominant invalidater is a man in the family.
My mother was informing them of the cycle of abuse, likely explaining why their situation was the way it was and what might happen in the future if it is not addressed.
Your mother, who logs into your account has a habit of jumping the gun into situations without knowing anything about people.
This is her first problem. And this problem isn't unique because it happens to many people, my mother included who is in a better position to say something wise about a situation relating to her brothers and sisters in real life but instead chooses something completely off.
In the Internet, where you don't know anything about people this situation is even more obvious.
For example, i know Demi longer than you here and i know that she is tougher than steel with whatever life has thrown at her and she has the grace to forgive a lot of nonsensical stuff like she did when she responded to the intrusive comments of your mother.
I know it's difficult to understand how family dynamics are outside of what you've learned on your zip code, but since respecting the boundaries is now the theme of this song, start by respecting people's boundaries first, try to be non-judgmental, don't assume things, ask more questions and then attempt to give an answer.
Don't be controlling, don't be nosy, respect free-will and don't be manipulative for different reasons.
These are some good starting points to have a good-faith discussion.
Also Daisy, i don't know if you're the user formerly known as Ballaurina, but the first red flag was when i was told that your mother can somehow "read" people remotely.
That gave me a good laugh which is why i offered myself for a "remote read" and i got nothing for a response.
Look, try to take things one day at a time and be grateful for all the good things in your life.
That gave me a good laugh which is why i offered myself for a "remote read" and i got nothing for a response.
Look, try to take things one day at a time and be grateful for all the good things in your life.