Fellowship

[Forgiveness]

Hi, I'm posting for the first time here in order to get my bearings, and to converse with other Christians to see what they have to say and hear about them and their stories how they came to know Jesus.

I'm a 100% disabled Navy Veteran, and I live alone in the middle of no where, very isolated. I worked on aircraft during the military, and when I got out I applied for disability. Took me 12 yrs to get 100% but its been rough. I believe God put me where I am now for a reason.

Since receiving the Holy Spirit in 2015, I began to see Angels, almost daily now, most days its a 3-6 times a day thing, where at first it frightened me, to not sure these are angels or demons, to discerning whether they are demons or angels to knowing they are infact Angels. I see them so frequently that if I dont see them each day I think there is something wrong.

I can see them even with my eyes closed, and I saw 8 angels come down in my church once during prayer in the morning and stand all around our congregation. God has spoken to me in many dreams, and has used me many times, and showed me a vision into eternity once when He spoke to me audibly saying (I will judge the living and the dead)

However since being born of the Spirit, its been a long and slow transformation process, and Gods Spirit has transformed me into something completely new. But one thing that has created a wedge between me and God is my addiction to porn. This 1 thing is the hardest thing to get rid of. I look, feel guilty and delete all of it. Then 3-5 days go by, I peak, and get angry at myself and delete it all. Longest I've gone was a month but this is driving me insane, causing me to go to great lengths for help. I've tried porn blockers, but they dont always work. It is so infuriating. I know finding a wife wont help make it go away however I do need one, been looking for 15 yrs.

I guess I'm sorta venting and just need some inspiration, bionically speaking.

 

[Dino246]

Welcome to CC...

I would offer two broad suggestions:

Firstly, ask the Holy Spirit to change you on this inside, so that you lose interest in porn. Keep asking, even several times a day. Verbally repudiate the addiction and the actions that accompany it; not with the idea of "naming and claiming", but with the genuine desire to be free from it. Getting angry at yourself isn't helping, by the way.

Secondly, seek to fill your mind with good things. Take an extended fast from media if that helps. Isolation is part of the problem, so just getting on the live chat app may will help you refocus. Don't allow your struggle to define who you are, or to be the centre of every conversation.

May the Lord give you the freedom you need, in His strength.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

While I have not personally seen angels or demons, I know people who have. I would continue to ask God for clarification on what you see.

Here are a few suggestions on porn that may help:

Change your desktop picture to an image of Jesus/Bible verse so that is the first thing you see when you turn on your computer.
Keep your Bible in view while you are using your computer.
Keep the Cross on the wall or near your computer, easily visible.
Everytime you have an urge to view porn, start reading a few verses about lust. You can buy a book which has verses arranged by topic, such as e.g. forgiveness, humility, lust, peace, etc.

You have to change the environment of your room where you feel Jesus is watching. I believe that will help you to stop watching porn.

 

[Bingo]

"Interesting testimony."

 

[Adstar]

Hi, I'm posting for the first time here in order to get my bearings, and to converse with other Christians to see what they have to say and hear about them and their stories how they came to know Jesus.

I'm a 100% disabled Navy Veteran, and I live alone in the middle of no where, very isolated. I worked on aircraft during the military, and when I got out I applied for disability. Took me 12 yrs to get 100% but its been rough. I believe God put me where I am now for a reason.

Since receiving the Holy Spirit in 2015, I began to see Angels, almost daily now, most days its a 3-6 times a day thing, where at first it frightened me, to not sure these are angels or demons, to discerning whether they are demons or angels to knowing they are infact Angels. I see them so frequently that if I dont see them each day I think there is something wrong.

I can see them even with my eyes closed, and I saw 8 angels come down in my church once during prayer in the morning and stand all around our congregation. God has spoken to me in many dreams, and has used me many times, and showed me a vision into eternity once when He spoke to me audibly saying (I will judge the living and the dead)

However since being born of the Spirit, its been a long and slow transformation process, and Gods Spirit has transformed me into something completely new. But one thing that has created a wedge between me and God is my addiction to porn. This 1 thing is the hardest thing to get rid of. I look, feel guilty and delete all of it. Then 3-5 days go by, I peak, and get angry at myself and delete it all. Longest I've gone was a month but this is driving me insane, causing me to go to great lengths for help. I've tried porn blockers, but they dont always work. It is so infuriating. I know finding a wife wont help make it go away however I do need one, been looking for 15 yrs.

I guess I'm sorta venting and just need some inspiration, bionically speaking.

Be careful scriptures reveal that satan can appear as an Angel of light..

2 Corinthians 11: KJV
13 "For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. {14} And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. {15} Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works."

Both muhammad of islam and Jospeh Smith of mormonism both claim their messages came from an Angel..

Galatians 1: KJV
7"Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. {8} But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed."

 

[TimothyGirl]

Hi Forgiveness, and welcome to CChat. I like the username, by the way... and I feel compelled to say this - that you are not Forgiveness, you are Forgiven.
So I want to greet you by the Spirit: Hi Forgiven!

You know, every time I tell myself I'm going to 'wean myself off' the forums, I come across a post like yours and I just can't help but respond. When someone shares their story, their struggles -- their humanity -- it is the most refreshing thing. And like the title of your thread, immediately there is fellowship.

Though out of the norm, I don't think it's weird that you see angels, but I agree that it does take discernment to know what 'side' they are on. Having read your write-up on your "about" info, it makes a lot of sense. I guess being raised in Africa, you come to understand that often your "spiritual experiences" are proportionate to what you have been exposed to. You mentioned in your "about" section that you followed that guy, Dr. Greer? (never heard of him, I'm afraid) who is into meditation and stuff. Before you became a Christian, did your practice all that meditation stuff? Just curious.

I appreciate your honesty and transparency about your addiction. What excites me for you is that the first step to being free is being able to openly confess it. It's not something people easily admit and once you can admit it, it starts losing its grip. I am grateful and blessed to have been raised in an environment where I have not been exposed to that sort of stuff, but I have encountered many, many people who are in the same boat as you. It is a tough road to freedom, but it is possible. All the people that I have known to have broken free from the addiction have discovered the following 3 things have had to be put in place (taking for granted the work of the Holy Spirit):
1) accountability
2) The Word, the Word, the Word
3) time

I guess it's something I learned in my time in ministry; I had the privilege of living with some of my co-workers, and we learned the importance of being accountable to one another. Especially with our weaknesses. It is so tempting to "hide" and draw away, buy like Proverbs 18:1 says,
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he rages against all wise judgment.

Sin isolates you. It's very difficult to keep walking in it when you are accountable to someone who knows your story. That's the only way we could deal with our "issues". It was hard - very hard- but every time we were about to walk in something we shouldn't, we would be open about it and pray for one another. I know you have already said that you are isolated and alone, which makes it all that much easier and tempting to keep entertaining it. I pray that God raises up an accountablilty partner for you.

The second, but most important step to freedom is to immerse yourself in the Word. It sounds so cliche, but in Ephesians 5, Paul calls it "the washing of the water of the Word." And washing your mind with the Word of God is what slowly erases the images you are so addicted to.

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting [restoring] the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple...
Psalm 19:7

And obviously the third speaks for itself. Nothing is conquered overnight. It takes time, often years, to have it all washed out.
That being said, I know of a person who had a serious addiction to porn, and for 6 months, all he did was submerge himself in the Word day and night - and after the 6 months was up, He was free. Completely free. And he is a different person to this day. If Jesus can set him free, set Mary Magdelene free, He can set you free as well.

I'd like to add one more important element, which is that, often behind addictions, there is a spirit involved and that makes it all that harder to overcome (I hope this is not offensive to you; I don't mean it to be). Perhaps it is something you should pray about and bind (and keep on binding!) the spirit of lust that comes through porn - especially when you are faced with the temptation. If only we understood the importance of warring for our minds!! I'm talking to a military man, so you would understand the importance of it!
Flip man! You can fight for it! You are not subject to it!! You are subject to Jesus, and PORN is subject to Jesus!! It is time for that name to BOW to Jesus!!

The devil is so good at making us believe that we are still slaves of sin! It's a LIE, it's a LIE, it's a LIE!!

Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts... for sin SHALL NOT HAVE DOMINION OVER YOU, for you are not under law, BUT UNDER GRACE.
Romans 6:11-14

See, that right there is a part of the warfare we are to use and the Word that we are to WASH OUR MINDS with! It is THE TRUTH!!
JESUS HAS SET US FREE FROM THE POWER OF SIN!

Even as I write, the word that resounds in my spirit for you is the word GRACE... that God's GRACE would empower you to break away from the cycle that you are stuck in...

I believe the Spirit has impressed a Scripture on my heart for you; something for you to hold on and declare in that moment of weakness:

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Let us therefore come BOLDLY to the throne of GRACE, that we may obtain mercy...........AND FIND GRACE TO HELP IN TIME OF NEED.
Hebrews 4:15-16

I was once asked (and then told) what is the difference between mercy and grace here? Mercy is for the sin that you have already committed; grace is to empower you to overcome the temptation that you are facing in the moment.

May you discover the power of God's Grace to overcome your challenges.

 

[Forgiveness]

Welcome to CC...

I would offer two broad suggestions:

Firstly, ask the Holy Spirit to change you on this inside, so that you lose interest in porn. Keep asking, even several times a day. Verbally repudiate the addiction and the actions that accompany it; not with the idea of "naming and claiming", but with the genuine desire to be free from it. Getting angry at yourself isn't helping, by the way.

While I have not personally seen angels or demons, I know people who have. I would continue to ask God for clarification on what you see.

Here are a few suggestions on porn that may help:

Change your desktop picture to an image of Jesus/Bible verse so that is the first thing you see when you turn on your computer.
Keep your Bible in view while you are using your computer.
Keep the Cross on the wall or near your computer, easily visible.
Everytime you have an urge to view porn, start reading a few verses about lust. You can buy a book which has verses arranged by topic, such as e.g. forgiveness, humility, lust, peace, etc.

You have to change the environment of your room where you feel Jesus is watching. I believe that will help you to stop watching porn.

First of all thank you both for your replies, and to respond to your suggestions.

I have scripture on my wall in front of my TV, my bible sits beside me, and I changed the background to my screen with prayers and scripture, I switch it up time to time. I've taken precautions at great lengths to keep my mind off those kinds of thoughts.

Its been a real struggle. I know my flesh wars against my spirit, because I can feel it, and my mind. My flesh will remind me of my vomit occasionally and I just have to shake it out of my head. And then there are demons who will remind me too, and torment me with whispers and thoughts. Its so frustrating at times. Its one of those things, I got into as a kid, and was hooked for decades.

Its funny how, we go to great lengths for home security, people use cameras, and guns, but they dont guard their body or minds. I sat here pondering those 2 things as I was thinking of what you guys wrote. I have guns I keep becide me while I sleep encase of an intruder, because I dont want murdered in my sleep. But I havent done a great job at guarding my spiritual house with weapons of the Spirit. I think if people did that more than the weapons of the flesh, this world would be alot better but we all know it will only continue to get worse and worse.

 

[Forgiveness]

Hi Forgiveness, and welcome to CChat. I like the username, by the way... and I feel compelled to say this - that you are not Forgiveness, you are Forgiven.
So I want to greet you by the Spirit: Hi Forgiven!

You know, every time I tell myself I'm going to 'wean myself off' the forums, I come across a post like yours and I just can't help but respond. When someone shares their story, their struggles -- their humanity -- it is the most refreshing thing. And like the title of your thread, immediately there is fellowship. Thanks!

That was a good read, and thank you for your words of encouragement.

I probably cant respond to every suggestion but I will do my best. I know I'm forgiven, its just hard to imagine God forgiving me. I dont feel I deserve to be forgiven much of the time. There are times I absolutely hate myself, wishing harm on myself for doing the things I've done. But I forgive myself. My life changed when I forgave people, and when God gave me His Spirit. Everything changed for me when that happened, which is why I used the name Forgiveness. It is one of the most powerful expressions I think of humility.

My problem is that I will sit in front of the computer TV, and watch youtube or play games in the winter alot and being I hate the cold and snow, it makes it worse. I'm lazy at times too. My only hobby is bicycling endurance road style, and my bike has been at a body shop for over a year now. So not being able to do the hobby I love has really taken its tole on me mentally and physically.

I'm glad I drug you back to the forums, this is new to me, and I found this forum on a whim. I believe the Holy Spirit prompted me to search google for it, just for these encounters. I have a couple of friends but they dont visit or respond all the time so things are difficult for me.

As for the scripture you refered to me, it helped me alot, and if I'm ever at that point where I am being tormented or reminded of my filth I will come here and read your comment and then the bible verses. It is refreshing to see how much care and time you put into your responce and I really dont have the words to describe how I feel, I just appreciate it. By the way I have a youtube channel. I post video testimony of several dreams I've had.

 

[Lanolin]

just wondering dont you get a crick in your neck and sore eyes sitting in front a computer all day...I would.

Id find a hobby like making things..,and you can gift whatever you make to others if you make lots of it.
if its indoors why not some indoor gardening in pots or something.

Jigsaw puzzles are always good occupational therapy.

 

[Lanolin]

Another thing is, if you live all by yourself, you can do arty things or write without annoying other people since artists and writers need a bit of uninterrupted solitude to get things done.

 

[Lanolin]

I know its not the same, but do you at least have an exercycle. Just to get your legs moving. You can listen to audio podcasts while cycling.

I pray you get closer to God and not fall into temptation. I dont get the porn thing why men dont think it hurts the women or girls who do it for the money. A lot of them are on drugs. It just makes money for pimps. not them anyway. Please honor women we are your sisters.

 

[TimothyGirl]

That was a good read, and thank you for your words of encouragement.

I probably cant respond to every suggestion but I will do my best. I know I'm forgiven, its just hard to imagine God forgiving me. I dont feel I deserve to be forgiven much of the time. There are times I absolutely hate myself, wishing harm on myself for doing the things I've done. But I forgive myself. My life changed when I forgave people, and when God gave me His Spirit. Everything changed for me when that happened, which is why I used the name Forgiveness. It is one of the most powerful expressions I think of humility.

My problem is that I will sit in front of the computer TV, and watch youtube or play games in the winter alot and being I hate the cold and snow, it makes it worse. I'm lazy at times too. My only hobby is bicycling endurance road style, and my bike has been at a body shop for over a year now. So not being able to do the hobby I love has really taken its tole on me mentally and physically.

I'm glad I drug you back to the forums, this is new to me, and I found this forum on a whim. I believe the Holy Spirit prompted me to search google for it, just for these encounters. I have a couple of friends but they dont visit or respond all the time so things are difficult for me.

As for the scripture you refered to me, it helped me alot, and if I'm ever at that point where I am being tormented or reminded of my filth I will come here and read your comment and then the bible verses. It is refreshing to see how much care and time you put into your responce and I really dont have the words to describe how I feel, I just appreciate it. By the way I have a youtube channel. I post video testimony of several dreams I've had.

I am glad that what I wrote ministered to you. It didn’t take me long in writing to realize that it was no longer me talking, but the Holy Spirit who had a few words of encouragement for you. I am always grateful and humbled when He chooses to speak through me. The care that I took to write comes from Him. I sense His love for you even as I write that down. Forgiven. If you don’t mind, that is what I shall call you because I know that it comes from Him. I have found in my walk with the Lord, although the most spoken of, the two hardest things to comprehend are the forgiveness and the love of God, which go hand in hand. That is why Paul prays, by the Spirit which reaches us through the ages, in Ephesians, that God would give us the capacity to comprehend the love of Christ which passes our knowledge (Ephesians 3:18)

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Especially when we are in touch with our own devils and know intimately what our transgressions are, it is difficult to fathom that God forgave us in Christ. I know the self-hatred well. I lived with it for many years; I know the condemnation; I know the guilt. For a long time I hated myself. But the more I encountered Christ through the Word, the more my heart became convinced of it and I was able to forgive myself. There was a moment where it was as though I was confronted with all the devils of my life – all my past mistakes and the iniquity of my own heart. I saw the anger, the bitterness, the murder, the lust, the potential for harm. I may not have outworked all of it, but was all there, like viper’s eggs waiting to hatch. How could the Lord love me? How could He forgive me when I felt beyond repair? And yet in that moment, when I was about to tumble into despair, Jesus drew near. He actively loved me. When I saw it and brought it to Him in sorrow of heart, He forgave me. I’ll never forget the moment. As I felt Him approach, suddenly I heard the song playing in the background: Jesus, friend of sinners… Wow… I am the leper that He made clean. I am the blind man He made to see.

Before that day, I didn’t know how to “share Jesus” with people because I had never met Him. I’ve been a Christian my whole life, no doubt, but that was the first day I encountered the Christ. It is this Jesus that I want to share with you today.

“Son, your sins are forgiven you. Go and sin no more.”

I speak that in Jesus’ Name.

There was much I was quickened to respond to you, but I have just heard the Voice of God speak and with that I must be silent. I pray that the Holy Spirit would minister the life of that to you and give you the capacity to receive it; that the Power of God would be present with you right now and set you free of the “paralysis” that you have struggled with since you were a boy.

Go and read Mark 2:1-12. I really feel that is what the Lord is saying to you today. Don’t read it like a story. Lay hold of it and allow it to become your story.

 

[Lighthearted]

Hi, I'm posting for the first time here in order to get my bearings, and to converse with other Christians to see what they have to say and hear about them and their stories how they came to know Jesus.

I'm a 100% disabled Navy Veteran, and I live alone in the middle of no where, very isolated. I worked on aircraft during the military, and when I got out I applied for disability. Took me 12 yrs to get 100% but its been rough. I believe God put me where I am now for a reason.

Since receiving the Holy Spirit in 2015, I began to see Angels, almost daily now, most days its a 3-6 times a day thing, where at first it frightened me, to not sure these are angels or demons, to discerning whether they are demons or angels to knowing they are infact Angels. I see them so frequently that if I dont see them each day I think there is something wrong.

I can see them even with my eyes closed, and I saw 8 angels come down in my church once during prayer in the morning and stand all around our congregation. God has spoken to me in many dreams, and has used me many times, and showed me a vision into eternity once when He spoke to me audibly saying (I will judge the living and the dead)

However since being born of the Spirit, its been a long and slow transformation process, and Gods Spirit has transformed me into something completely new. But one thing that has created a wedge between me and God is my addiction to porn. This 1 thing is the hardest thing to get rid of. I look, feel guilty and delete all of it. Then 3-5 days go by, I peak, and get angry at myself and delete it all. Longest I've gone was a month but this is driving me insane, causing me to go to great lengths for help. I've tried porn blockers, but they dont always work. It is so infuriating. I know finding a wife wont help make it go away however I do need one, been looking for 15 yrs.

I guess I'm sorta venting and just need some inspiration, bionically speaking.

Thank you for your service.
The mast majority of us struggle with something from time to time if not daily. Recognizing what one needs to change and making a commitment to do so is a great beginning.

God knows your desire to leave this behind. The devil doesn't want you to as he seeks to devour and use any foot hold over your life.

We are here to lift you up in prayer and encourage you. God is good and faithful and will give you the strength to overcome the things that have a hold over you.

God bless you and welcome to CC. 🙂

 

[Forgiveness]

Another thing is, if you live all by yourself, you can do arty things or write without annoying other people since artists and writers need a bit of uninterrupted solitude to get things done.

I'm no writer and never will be lol. However I just bought a full size helicopter 🚁 and have been working on it during the winter. But a girl at my church, the daughter of my pastor was wanting to work on aircraft, I've been teaching her things she will learn to do in school so she has a head start on her class mates. So she has some of my aircraft tools.


I gave her a project to complete but it's been slow going. So my work has come to a halt and now I'm bored.

Yes sitting in front of my TV most of the day hurts my neck, back and arm. But what am I going to do, I hate crafts, puzzles make me bored in 2 minutes if no one is around to help. I hate drawing now, even though I am really talented at it including oil paintings. I get bored so easily, jumping from 1 thing after another. 1 thing I would love to get back into is scuba diving.

But this thread isn't about me, I'd like to hear how you got saved

 

[Blik]

I'm no writer and never will be lol. However I just bought a full size helicopter 🚁 and have been working on it during the winter. But a girl at my church, the daughter of my pastor was wanting to work on aircraft, I've been teaching her things she will learn to do in school so she has a head start on her class mates. So she has some of my aircraft tools.

I gave her a project to complete but it's been slow going. So my work has come to a halt and now I'm bored.

Yes sitting in front of my TV most of the day hurts my neck, back and arm. But what am I going to do, I hate crafts, puzzles make me bored in 2 minutes if no one is around to help. I hate drawing now, even though I am really talented at it including oil paintings. I get bored so easily, jumping from 1 thing after another. 1 thing I would love to get back into is scuba diving.

But this thread isn't about me, I'd like to hear how you got saved

I don't think that you realize you have control of your mind. If you are bored, you have decided to be bored.

God cannot live and be a part of sin, there is an entire long bible that has the word in it, the word that is of God. You are choosing thoughts that are not part of God, fill your mind with the word. Prop that word up in front of you every minute of every day. TV is NOT part of the thoughts of the Lord, of course if you fill your mind with what is on TV instead of the words of the Lord, all sorts of bored evil will happen. Make a choice, every minute to fill your mind with what is good and is of God.

Phil 4:8.

And yes, I am speaking from experience. It is impossible to be isolated when you fill your heart and mind with the Lord. Take an axe to that TV, put scripture in its place.

 

[Forgiveness]

I don't think that you realize you have control of your mind. If you are bored, you have decided to be bored.

God cannot live and be a part of sin, there is an entire long bible that has the word in it, the word that is of God. You are choosing thoughts that are not part of God, fill your mind with the word. Prop that word up in front of you every minute of every day. TV is NOT part of the thoughts of the Lord, of course if you fill your mind with what is on TV instead of the words of the Lord, all sorts of bored evil will happen. Make a choice, every minute to fill your mind with what is good and is of God.

Phil 4:8.

And yes, I am speaking from experience. It is impossible to be isolated when you fill your heart and mind with the Lord. Take an axe to that TV, put scripture in its place.

I don't think you understand my situation, I am limited to things I can do physically, and being that it is 23*f here makes it difficult to enjoy the outdoors. Also I've read the Bible many times, and I try to read a chapter or more each day. I just hate reading. I am not a big reader. I lose interest in things after a while like everyone does. I think it stems from past relationships, and encounters with evil women. I used to be passionate about certain things but women came into my life and destroyed me inside. Creating a wound that has never healed.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

I don't think that you realize you have control of your mind. If you are bored, you have decided to be bored.

God cannot live and be a part of sin, there is an entire long bible that has the word in it, the word that is of God. You are choosing thoughts that are not part of God, fill your mind with the word. Prop that word up in front of you every minute of every day. TV is NOT part of the thoughts of the Lord, of course if you fill your mind with what is on TV instead of the words of the Lord, all sorts of bored evil will happen. Make a choice, every minute to fill your mind with what is good and is of God.

Phil 4:8.

And yes, I am speaking from experience. It is impossible to be isolated when you fill your heart and mind with the Lord. Take an axe to that TV, put scripture in its place.

Wow you are a jerk, on top of having zero understanding of the human condition because you have been engaged in cognitive dissonance for far too long. Please don't advise anyone who is struggling and reaching out for help.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

Hi, I'm posting for the first time here in order to get my bearings, and to converse with other Christians to see what they have to say and hear about them and their stories how they came to know Jesus.

I'm a 100% disabled Navy Veteran, and I live alone in the middle of no where, very isolated. I worked on aircraft during the military, and when I got out I applied for disability. Took me 12 yrs to get 100% but its been rough. I believe God put me where I am now for a reason.

Since receiving the Holy Spirit in 2015, I began to see Angels, almost daily now, most days its a 3-6 times a day thing, where at first it frightened me, to not sure these are angels or demons, to discerning whether they are demons or angels to knowing they are infact Angels. I see them so frequently that if I dont see them each day I think there is something wrong.

I can see them even with my eyes closed, and I saw 8 angels come down in my church once during prayer in the morning and stand all around our congregation. God has spoken to me in many dreams, and has used me many times, and showed me a vision into eternity once when He spoke to me audibly saying (I will judge the living and the dead)

However since being born of the Spirit, its been a long and slow transformation process, and Gods Spirit has transformed me into something completely new. But one thing that has created a wedge between me and God is my addiction to porn. This 1 thing is the hardest thing to get rid of. I look, feel guilty and delete all of it. Then 3-5 days go by, I peak, and get angry at myself and delete it all. Longest I've gone was a month but this is driving me insane, causing me to go to great lengths for help. I've tried porn blockers, but they dont always work. It is so infuriating. I know finding a wife wont help make it go away however I do need one, been looking for 15 yrs.

I guess I'm sorta venting and just need some inspiration, bionically speaking.

First let me thank you for your military service, and I am glad that you got the financial support that you need for your injuries.
Also let me welcome you to CC.
It's my sincere and ernest intent to try and give you good sound biblical advice here. Sadly you are not alone in your battle, and getting a wife will not fix it. I see you are very repentance sorrowful and desire to stop engaging in sexual sin. This is a good first step. The next thing you need is a friend or two or more. The more the better, that you can call or visit, when this temptation get a hold of you. Make a habit of waking early and get plenty of exercise and socialization, so that you are not lonely and have energy to spend at night. Find a good LCMS, or wels Lutheran pastor to take your confession. You will be surprised at the power of confession. It really does take the sting out of temptation, knowing you will go and confess it to a pastor.

 

[Blik]

I don't think you understand my situation, I am limited to things I can do physically, and being that it is 23*f here makes it difficult to enjoy the outdoors. Also I've read the Bible many times, and I try to read a chapter or more each day. I just hate reading. I am not a big reader. I lose interest in things after a while like everyone does. I think it stems from past relationships, and encounters with evil women. I used to be passionate about certain things but women came into my life and destroyed me inside. Creating a wound that has never healed.

You are speaking to someone who is so limited by age and infirmities that I am wheelchair bound. Many of my family live in the same town but they will not see or speak to me. Yet I have managed to be content and happy. I went on a five day fast with only coffee and water to supply fleshly wants, putting on only Christ. The Lord supplied my spirit when I allowed myself food again.

You have tried TV, porn, and boredom and it isn't working. Porn is only a distortion of sex that is a uniting of two into one. Why not trying filling your spirit with the Lord?

 

[TimothyGirl]

I feel totally ill-equipped to be speaking up here, so forgive me for putting in my 5c, but it seems we need to put a little grace in the mix.

I do believe that Forgiveness here was making a confession and getting something off his chest, which I might add was very BRAVE to do on a public forum (and I commend and respect you for that, @Forgiveness). That takes guts and sincerity. And seeing as we represent the Body of Christ here, he was more presenting himself to Christ than to us... He wasn't actually asking us for advice as much as, in humility, confessing his sins. Forgive me, brother, for trying to fix them for you.

As I write, I am reminded of the parable that Jesus told about the Publican and the Pharisee who went to pray. The publican beat his breast and repented because he knew his sins and shortcomings only too well.

The Pharisee stood there and thanked the Lord that he wasn't like him, stuck in sin...

The amazing thing is that the Publican left forgiven -- and may I add, returned to his job the next day, just as often we return to our sins. Yet God did not judge him for where He was bound, but FORGAVE him because of his true repentance... And when he sinned again and returned to the Temple with true repentance, he found forgiveness again (77 x 7 times, perhaps?? )

(Please don't get me wrong, I am not condoning sin, and especially willful sin, but I am merely saying that the Lord sees us in our struggles, sees our repentant hearts and gives us grace to break free of those cycles. But in the event of stuffing up again (as I know all too well happens for myself despite my best efforts!), He gives us mercy when we come with true repentance.)

I don't want to stand as a Pharisee here because I might not be guilty of this particular sin. I have my own sins that I struggle to break free of. Can the brother (or sister) who is guilty of anger judge another for being guilty of porn? Are they not both in the same list? Different sin, but same bondage. We both need grace to set us free, not laws of do's and dont's. We all should know too well by now that the Law is the strength of sin.

Forgiveness, I will pray for you, that the One who has the power to save both of us from our iniquities would do so.

I mean afterall, aren't we leading up to the Feast of Passover (Easter) where Jesus dealt with our sins? Let's enter in!!!
Perhaps you are in the Spirit, dear brother Forgiveness, where we are in the middle of Lent - a time of repentance and sorrow over sins. Stay there, stare at it, acknowledge your utter inability to set yourself free -- and REJOICE that HOPE and HELP is on it's way! Let's live Passover as though we were there, because we were... let's die with Christ on Friday with all our sins and iniquities on board, and be RAISED with Him on Sunday, GLORIOUSLY NEW, GLORIOUSLY FREE!! Can we believe it? Can we lay hold of it? I'm willing to try...

Thanks for putting me in touch with where I'm at, Forgiveness, for daring to speak up. I don't want this opportunity to pass me by, but like the woman with the issue of blood, maybe this Easter/Passover is the edge of the garment where, BY FAITH, I can connect with Christ??

Oh Lord Jesus! I pray that you would do this for all who are willing to trust You! Set us free of our sins, our iniquities and our bondages so that we can walk in the Freedom you bought for us! Let us enter in to the Cross experience BY FAITH and leave our baggage there... Help us to lay HOLD of the truth, which is that YOU and ONLY YOU can set us free!! And receive the GRACE that you released to us. Let your Salvation come to our lives, and especially for our dear brother Forgiveness, as He has come to You with this. Thank You, for our brother, Lord, and I pray that You would set him free; that he would be a testimony of the power of your grace.