"They seem like the perfect boyfriend, and in the beginning, they are attentive, thoughtful, generous, and kind. You become enamored and are swept off your feet. Although you may hear murmurings from friends or family that he seems “too nice” or that they just “have a hunch about him,” you brush aside their comments. You only have eyes for him, and in those eyes, he’s “the one.”
The relationship moves quickly, and he makes you feel chosen and special, as if the secrets he shares are only between you two. He seeks your sympathy, telling you woes about his hard life and the many people who have taken advantage of or hurt him. He might even speak disparagingly about his “crazy” ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and you swallow the one-sided character assassination without question…"
Today I was researching the difference between Authenticity and Genuineness, as it relates to character. For all intents and purposes this is practically splitting hairs. My conclusions are, in this discussion irrelevant but, I did stumble across something that I found to be infinitely more meaningful to me. (and I would hope to you)
Here's the setup...
A lot of women I know complain that the men in their life do not pursue them with any sort of drive. They say that most men are usually friendly, but they don't want friends, they want to be fought over and fought for. They want to know that they are valuable and worth pursuing. They want to fall in love.
On the flip side...
Most of the single men I know and am friends with, don't do anything unless they feel compelled to. They move when they are captivated by something that moves them. They are sincere and genuine. They know what is good and what is right, nothing else is important to them.
Here is the inconsistency...
I have one friend who pursues as if he is captivated. He will chase hard for about a month. He will be fun and exciting and adaptable. But its not real. He's not trying to sleep with these women but, he is trying to get them to fall in love with him. He becomes what women want. Where my conscience would rip me apart, for portraying feelings that I do not have, he has no hangups. Then after about 3-5 weeks of "falling in love" and leading her to believe that he is the one, he simply stops talking to her and ignores her until she goes away.
The thing that scares me...
The real thing looks about like what he does. When a man and a woman fall in love, they become crazy and irrational. They show a multitude of different kinds of affection from notes to flowers to gifts to hugs to promises to whatever moves them but, when a person gives the appearance of falling for someone for the sake of finding out whether or not she is more than a pretty face, I tend to become...
The relationship moves quickly, and he makes you feel chosen and special, as if the secrets he shares are only between you two. He seeks your sympathy, telling you woes about his hard life and the many people who have taken advantage of or hurt him. He might even speak disparagingly about his “crazy” ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and you swallow the one-sided character assassination without question…"
Today I was researching the difference between Authenticity and Genuineness, as it relates to character. For all intents and purposes this is practically splitting hairs. My conclusions are, in this discussion irrelevant but, I did stumble across something that I found to be infinitely more meaningful to me. (and I would hope to you)
Here's the setup...
A lot of women I know complain that the men in their life do not pursue them with any sort of drive. They say that most men are usually friendly, but they don't want friends, they want to be fought over and fought for. They want to know that they are valuable and worth pursuing. They want to fall in love.
On the flip side...
Most of the single men I know and am friends with, don't do anything unless they feel compelled to. They move when they are captivated by something that moves them. They are sincere and genuine. They know what is good and what is right, nothing else is important to them.
Here is the inconsistency...
I have one friend who pursues as if he is captivated. He will chase hard for about a month. He will be fun and exciting and adaptable. But its not real. He's not trying to sleep with these women but, he is trying to get them to fall in love with him. He becomes what women want. Where my conscience would rip me apart, for portraying feelings that I do not have, he has no hangups. Then after about 3-5 weeks of "falling in love" and leading her to believe that he is the one, he simply stops talking to her and ignores her until she goes away.
The thing that scares me...
The real thing looks about like what he does. When a man and a woman fall in love, they become crazy and irrational. They show a multitude of different kinds of affection from notes to flowers to gifts to hugs to promises to whatever moves them but, when a person gives the appearance of falling for someone for the sake of finding out whether or not she is more than a pretty face, I tend to become...