How Can One Pick Up on Red Flag Levels of Addiction/Mental Illness, Especially Online?

[JohnDB]

Gen X child from the South.....
Right after Coors got shipped East of the Rockies.
Because adults wouldn't drink it.

 

[seoulsearch]

Ain’t that a fact. Dem folks over yonder in Europe and other places they be sayin’ “yanks” and “Yankees” without a sweet piece of knowin’ what thems talkin’ about. I fer sure ain’t gon be seen dead being labeled a Yankee!

No love for us poor little Yankees.

 

[jennymae]

No love for us poor little Yankees.

You know, ain’t no Yankees west of the ol’ man, big brown river. And I tell you, girl, you ain’t never ever comin’ to my mind whenever I’m thinking about Yankees. We good now?

 

[seoulsearch]

You know, ain’t no Yankees west of the ol’ man, big brown river. And I tell you, girl, you ain’t never ever comin’ to my mind whenever I’m thinking about Yankees. We good now?

This thread is being overrun by "Southern Aggression."

Sure is entertaining tho.

 

[jennymae]

This thread is being overrun by "Southern Aggression."

Sure is entertaining tho.

Well, we’ve been taught that the word in that expression ain’t “Southern”.

 

[GaryA]

Well, we’ve been taught that the word in that expression ain’t “Southern”.

And, if I may expound a bit on what jennymae is saying here - if you were born and raised in the South, you were taught 'Southern Hospitality' - any 'aggression' is coming from something/somewhere else - it is not any part of what it means to be [truly] 'Southern'.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Here's to Southern hospitality.

 

[Cameron143]

And, if I may expound a bit on what jennymae is saying here - if you were born and raised in the South, you were taught 'Southern Hospitality' - any 'aggression' is coming from something/somewhere else - it is not any part of what it means to be [truly] 'Southern'.

She's actually referencing the war of "Northern Aggression".

 

[seoulsearch]

She's actually referencing the war of "Northern Aggression".

Thank goodness.

Someone who understands "Yankee" - and can act as my interpreter!

 

[Cameron143]

Thank goodness.

Someone who understands "Yankee" - and can act as my interpreter!

Why, yes ma'am.
I'm actually a Southern country boy living my entire life in the Carolinas. It's been a hoot.

 

[Lynx]

We ain’t talking about no Yankees here. We’re talking about folks from up north TENNESSEE!

I’m just messing with you.

Yup, I know. Shhhh! We've done this comedy routine before.

 

[seoulsearch]

I've been there. Fortunately each time it was online, so the damage was minimized.

Actually that's strange. Why has it always been online? Maybe there really are red flags about me. Red flags that only show up in person, not things that people see online. Red flags that make even a desperate woman think, actually I'll see if I can do better than this.

I've been contemplating this for the past few days.

Having known you for a long time (over a decade now that I've been a thorn in your side! ) and also having spent time around you in real-life groups, I personally don't think it's as much about you having red flags in person.

Rather, I think it's more about the capacity for people to become attached to a deeper side of someone that might only (or more evidently) surface online.

The first several years I was here on CC, I was wavering in and out of some of very deep bouts of depression. To avoid any online censorship no-no's in the way it's worded, I'll just say that I had times when I have thought of punching my own ticket to heaven. I didn't explicitly say that in my posts, but something obviously must have shown through.

I wish I had my old private messages from that time (around 2013-2014,) but I think they got wiped in one of the multiple system updates over the years. All I can remember is that you sent me a message, and I can't remember exactly what you said, but I remember you summed it all up by saying, "I've been reading a lot of your posts, and I can tell you're having a hard time. I was just wondering, is there anything I can do to help?"

You and I had known each other a bit from bantering in the forums. But you had the depth, and took the time, to ask what was going on beneath even my shiniest posts. I can't think of many people who have done that in my entire life. I think that's something about you that translates specifically online, so when you told our meetup group about women on the site who had become attached to you, I could certainly understand why. Not many people bother to notice or peak behind someone's personal curtain of suffering, let alone ask if they can help. And many people (women especially) are dying for someone to care.

I don't think that comes across as much about you in person but I could be wrong. From what I've seen in person is that you like to make people feel better by chauffeuring, cooking mass amounts of food (even if it means accidentally swiping someone's designated personal loaf of low-carb bread,) and most of all, making people laugh.

You live to serve people, and in real life, most of that comes through in trying to create a fun, helpful, and light-hearted atmosphere (translation -- you're a non-stop joke machine.)

It's an awesome thing for sure, but I'm thinking not many women in real life would ever pick up just how deep-thinking you really are behind the all the laughs.

Henceforth, it seems logical that more women craving that kind of response would notice (and cling to) this aspect of your personality online.

 

[Lynx]

So if circumstances change and I find I want a lady... Start talking to more women in person (as opposed to online) about stuff I think about.

That could scare a lot of people away...

 

[seoulsearch]

So if circumstances change and I find I want a lady... Start talking to more women in person (as opposed to online) about stuff I think about.

That could scare a lot of people away...

 

[Lynx]

Yeah, that. The smart move is usually to fold and run.

I've been at my current job since 2009. I'm usually running on autopilot, even in busy times. I have a lot of time to think while my body is doing my job.

Sometimes I tell people the things I've been thinking about.

I get a lot of odd looks at w*rk...

 

[GaryA]

This thread is being overrun by "Southern Aggression."

Well, we’ve been taught that the word in that expression ain’t “Southern”.

And, if I may expound a bit on what jennymae is saying here - if you were born and raised in the South, you were taught 'Southern Hospitality' - any 'aggression' is coming from something/somewhere else - it is not any part of what it means to be [truly] 'Southern'.

She's actually referencing the war of "Northern Aggression".

If she had used single quotes, I would have determined that she was referring to the actual word 'Southern' - which, by implication and understanding, is suggesting that it should be 'Northern'. However, because she used double quotes, I determined that she was referring to Southern culture - in which case, "the word in that expression" [actually] referred to the word 'Aggression' - meaning that it was not part of Southern culture.

I believe the overall context of discussion has been about north-vs-south culture - way-of-thinking, way-of-life, etc.

The North and South cultures were well established long before the Civil War; and, no mention was made of the Civil War.

If her intent was to say that 'Aggression' was not part of Southern culture - then, I understood correctly and you did not.

If her intent was to say that "in that expression" the word 'Southern' should actually be 'Northern' - then, you understood correctly and I did not.

But, if that is true - and, she had used single quotes instead of double quotes - I would have understood that also just as you did.

In any case, it should be noted that the use of single or double quotes in certain situations can make a really big difference...

jennymae - with every manner of good southern honesty - what exactly-and-precisely did you mean by what you said in post #45?

 

[Cameron143]

If she had used single quotes, I would have determined that she was referring to the actual word 'Southern' - which, by implication and understanding, is suggesting that it should be 'Northern'. However, because she used double quotes, I determined that she was referring to Southern culture - in which case, "the word in that expression" [actually] referred to the word 'Aggression' - meaning that it was not part of Southern culture.

I believe the overall context of discussion has been about north-vs-south culture - way-of-thinking, way-of-life, etc.

The North and South cultures were well established long before the Civil War; and, no mention was made of the Civil War.

If her intent was to say that 'Aggression' was not part of Southern culture - then, I understood correctly and you did not.

If her intent was to say that "in that expression" the word 'Southern' should actually be 'Northern' - then, you understood correctly and I did not.

But, if that is true - and, she had used single quotes instead of double quotes - I would have understood that also just as you did.

In any case, it should be noted that the use of single or double quotes in certain situations can make a really big difference...

jennymae - with every manner of good southern honesty - what exactly-and-precisely did you mean by what you said in post #45?

I did have the advantage...I speak seoulsearchese.

 

[Lynx]

If she had used single quotes, I would have determined that she was referring to the actual word 'Southern' - which, by implication and understanding, is suggesting that it should be 'Northern'. However, because she used double quotes, I determined that she was referring to Southern culture - in which case, "the word in that expression" [actually] referred to the word 'Aggression' - meaning that it was not part of Southern culture.

I believe the overall context of discussion has been about north-vs-south culture - way-of-thinking, way-of-life, etc.

The North and South cultures were well established long before the Civil War; and, no mention was made of the Civil War.

If her intent was to say that 'Aggression' was not part of Southern culture - then, I understood correctly and you did not.

If her intent was to say that "in that expression" the word 'Southern' should actually be 'Northern' - then, you understood correctly and I did not.

But, if that is true - and, she had used single quotes instead of double quotes - I would have understood that also just as you did.

In any case, it should be noted that the use of single or double quotes in certain situations can make a really big difference...

jennymae - with every manner of good southern honesty - what exactly-and-precisely did you mean by what you said in post #45?

Now y'all just makin my head hurt.

 

[GaryA]

I did have the advantage...I speak seoulsearchese.

But, that is only valid if @jennymae also declares that she understood that @seoulsearch was specifically making reference to Civil War era 'aggression'.

Even if seoulsearch was in fact making that specific reference, that does not also mean that jennymae understood it as such.

The [true] key thing is - what did jennymae mean in post #45 by what she said and the way she said it? And, only she can answer that.

 

[Cameron143]

But, that is only valid if @jennymae also declares that she understood that @seoulsearch was specifically making reference to Civil War era 'aggression'.

Even if seoulsearch was in fact making that specific reference, that does not also mean that jennymae understood it as such.

The [true] key thing is - what did jennymae mean in post #45 by what she said and the way she said it? And, only she can answer that.

jennymae clearly didn't understand what seoulsearch meant. Hence, I interpetated. You're welcome.