How Do Christians Date Without Viewing Their Potential Prospects as Sex Objects in Their Minds?
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I would like to suggest something that may be helpful... (not a guaranteed simple "cure")
If a man adopts an attitude and way of thinking such that he considers every woman on earth as being his sister, daughter, niece, etc. - the way he "sees" them can be "regulated" by good intent and self-discipline. And, with continual dedication to this way of thinking - and, with the Lord's help - his "thought life" can become "cleaner" with time - and, actually become more easy to maintain without falling into the "gutter" of over-sexed thinking.
I can attest to the fact that it works wonderfully if you sincerely apply yourself to it while "bringing into captivity every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) - which is much easier to do when it is your sister...
And, that is the key thing - how are you going to think about a particular woman if you convince yourself that she is your sister?
It will not prevent any marriage possibilities in view; however, it may help you "ease into a relationship" with a better balance - not being totally overtaken with a fixation on sex.
If she is saved, then she is my sister-in-Christ. If she is not saved, then she is a sister in the human race. In either case, she is my sister, daughter, niece, etc.
If a man adopts an attitude and way of thinking such that he considers every woman on earth as being his sister, daughter, niece, etc. - the way he "sees" them can be "regulated" by good intent and self-discipline. And, with continual dedication to this way of thinking - and, with the Lord's help - his "thought life" can become "cleaner" with time - and, actually become more easy to maintain without falling into the "gutter" of over-sexed thinking.
I can attest to the fact that it works wonderfully if you sincerely apply yourself to it while "bringing into captivity every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) - which is much easier to do when it is your sister...
And, that is the key thing - how are you going to think about a particular woman if you convince yourself that she is your sister?
It will not prevent any marriage possibilities in view; however, it may help you "ease into a relationship" with a better balance - not being totally overtaken with a fixation on sex.
If she is saved, then she is my sister-in-Christ. If she is not saved, then she is a sister in the human race. In either case, she is my sister, daughter, niece, etc.
Or you could just think of women as humans instead of objects. I find if I listen to what people, men and women, say, and look at the kind of personality showing in their eyes, it's a lot harder to objectify them.
As i think of this subject i begin to think of Gods example of love and his example of relationship and how we must also walk in the fruit of the spirit etc. I think if God is our central focus and we seek him with all our heart soul mind and strength we continually do these types of things and feed our spirit man instead of our flesh which creates these wars within. The devil would have us think we cant be masters over those things but the truth is we can should and will if walking in God and the spirit. Just another example of the accuser of the brethren and God as the way the truth and the life.
We also have to remember the mind is a battle ground and we are to cast down every thought and imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. That is also another reason we need to be in the word so that we can be ye transformed by the renewing of the mind that we may know the perfect pleasing will of God our father.
One thing i know is each and every one of us can come before God and pray and seek his face on this subject and he will be faithful to answer teach and direct us because dont forget the prayer of a righteous man availith much. There isnt one thing the Lord sees as insignificant when it comes to knowing him and his ways.
Egad!
Another juicy Seoul thread I missed out on.
I'm gonna read it all and reply to every single question. Can't wait...
Or maybe I should. The first post was about this guy called Steve who was always making faux pas on the singles forum. He's hilarious. Why does he always assume that everyone who reads/answers his post is a guy in need of pick-up/chat up lines?????
Sorry if this was 2 years ago, but I wasn't here for 2 years.
Another juicy Seoul thread I missed out on.
I'm gonna read it all and reply to every single question. Can't wait...
Or maybe I should. The first post was about this guy called Steve who was always making faux pas on the singles forum. He's hilarious. Why does he always assume that everyone who reads/answers his post is a guy in need of pick-up/chat up lines?????
Sorry if this was 2 years ago, but I wasn't here for 2 years.
I rather enjoyed a few posts down where the OP states that at her age (and she seems pretty darn young) some have already been on hundreds of dates!!!
HUNDREDS.
I musta been doing something wrong!
I usually say howdy and welcome to the forum. But it seems you have been here for some time. You've just been on the dark side: the bible discussion forum, or BDF as we usually call it.I rather enjoyed a few posts down where the OP states that at her age (and she seems pretty darn young) some have already been on hundreds of dates!!!
HUNDREDS.
I musta been doing something wrong!
Howdy and welcome to the less contentious parts of the forum.
The people who just want to hang out and chit chat, without all the BDF argument, this is where we come to chill out.About the OP... Well... I know better than to tell a woman's age, so I'll leave that to her to tell. All I will say is, she gets that a lot, people saying she looks a lot younger.
You're allowed to ask a woman's age right up until she's young and looks good.I usually say howdy and welcome to the forum. But it seems you have been here for some time. You've just been on the dark side: the bible discussion forum, or BDF as we usually call it.
Howdy and welcome to the less contentious parts of the forum.
About the OP... Well... I know better than to tell a woman's age, so I'll leave that to her to tell. All I will say is, she gets that a lot, people saying she looks a lot younger.
The moment she starts to look a bit, mature, shall we say, or she ain't lookin' so good...
THAT is the exact moment when you stop asking her age.
This rule works pretty darn well IMHO.
Or, maybe not so humble or honest...
never was sure what the H stood for.
If you know, I will accept any enlightenment.
All kidding aside...you're very nice Lynx.
And, as I often say to my follow BDF's,,,,Christians should act nice...
which they don't always do over on the dark side.
Problem is that I enjoy theology and apologetics, so what's a girl to do?
I've learned to keep away from those that enjoy insulting other Christians and I make
an effort to post to those that actually use their brain and try to be serious and nice about
debating topics.
I came upon this brighter side by mistake and fear I may never encounter it again.
Maybe I could check out your home/account page and see what thread you're on and follow you around
a bit?
We'll see.
But it has been fun.
I used to be on a Forum where this light-heartedness was kind of spread all over the place,
but, alas, that was a long time ago and things change.
BTW,,,I'm only 38 years old and have been for a very long time now.
I'm easy to find. I'm always in singles and miscellaneous, with a smattering of family forum because that's where seoulsearch posts most of her threads these days.
Occasionally I may drop in on conspiracy forum and news forum (which is basically just another conspiracy forum) just for entertainment and to leave a catty comment. But I never take anything there seriously and I never stay long.
I rather enjoyed a few posts down where the OP states that at her age (and she seems pretty darn young) some have already been on hundreds of dates!!! HUNDREDS.
I musta been doing something wrong!
Lol...
Welcome to the lighter side of CC, @Toknow! I hope you enjoy perusing the lighter side of CC. Many of us regulars from Singles hang out in threads here and in Family and Miscellaneous. I do occasionally scan the BDF, mostly just to stalk/follow posters whom I admire.
As for some people going on hundreds of dates... Apparently that seems to be very easy to accomplish these days with the advent of dating apps. And I think the definition of a date varies quite a bit as well, seeing as many people meet someone long-distance and so their dates must all be conducted online. (I've known of several long-distance couples here on CC, some who married, even internationally.)
As for my age, well, Lynx has stated his age several times on the forum, and I'm older than him.
Let's just say AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has been after me to join their fine organization for several years now, even though I'm not fully retired, and my friends who are married have, or are looking to have, grandchildren.
People often ask if I'm a college student, as I'm usually carrying a backpack. The pictures I post in my avatar have all been taken within the last 6 months. My current picture is me on any given day -- if given a choice, I'm almost always wearing a favorite cartoon or 80's pop culture t-shirt, like the Pac-Man in this current rendition. I remember when Pac-Man came out and became a cultural phenomenon.
Over the years, I've met about 25 people from CC in person, and though most have moved on, Lynx and a few other regulars here have been around me in real life (the poor souls,) and would call me out if I were trying to catfish anyone.
It's especially amusing when people both online and in real life proverbially pat me on the head and pretty much say, "There, there, little girl," when I'm often a good 10-15 years older than them!
Not that age makes anyone an expert on anything, it's just that I might have a little more life experience than many expect. I always chalk it up to being a boring nerd. I was always working and my jobs were inside, so I never saw much of the sun; I have bad reactions to alcohol so I avoid it (I've read that many Asians are missing the enzymes that break down alcohol in their systems); I never tried smoking or drugs because I was too afraid; and I've always eaten simple foods because I've never been into cooking (however, sugar is, unfortunately, the bane of my existence.)
We're always looking for fun, interesting, and compassionate people to join our ragtag motley crew of CC individuals who don't fit in any particular group -- welcome aboard!!
I've been enjoying your posts and am looking forward to more.
The fact that there is probably a stuffed owl in that backpack doesn't help people at all in estimating your age...Lol...
Welcome to the lighter side of CC, @Toknow! I hope you enjoy perusing the lighter side of CC. Many of us regulars from Singles hang out in threads here and in Family and Miscellaneous. I do occasionally scan the BDF, mostly just to stalk/follow posters whom I admire.
As for some people going on hundreds of dates... Apparently that seems to be very easy to accomplish these days with the advent of dating apps. And I think the definition of a date varies quite a bit as well, seeing as many people meet someone long-distance and so their dates must all be conducted online. (I've known of several long-distance couples here on CC, some who married, even internationally.)
As for my age, well, Lynx has stated his age several times on the forum, and I'm older than him.
Let's just say AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has been after me to join their fine organization for several years now, even though I'm not fully retired, and my friends who are married have, or are looking to have, grandchildren.
People often ask if I'm a college student, as I'm usually carrying a backpack. The pictures I post in my avatar have all been taken within the last 6 months. My current picture is me on any given day -- if given a choice, I'm almost always wearing a favorite cartoon or 80's pop culture t-shirt, like the Pac-Man in this current rendition. I remember when Pac-Man came out and became a cultural phenomenon.
Over the years, I've met about 25 people from CC in person, and though most have moved on, Lynx and a few other regulars here have been around me in real life (the poor souls,) and would call me out if I were trying to catfish anyone.
It's especially amusing when people both online and in real life proverbially pat me on the head and pretty much say, "There, there, little girl," when I'm often a good 10-15 years older than them!
I always chalk it up to being a boring nerd. I was always working and my jobs were inside, so I never saw much of the sun; I have bad reactions to alcohol so I avoid it (I've read that many Asians are missing the enzymes that break down alcohol in their systems); I never tried smoking or drugs because I was too afraid; and I've always eaten simple foods because I've never been into cooking (however, sugar is, unfortunately, the bane of my existence.)
We're always looking for fun, interesting, and compassionate people to join our ragtag motley crew of CC individuals who don't fit in any particular group -- welcome aboard!!
I've been enjoying your posts and am looking forward to more.
you just reminded me about a date back in 86". i was at a nightclub playing pool & i saw a girl sitting at the bar, her back i saw. she wore a black dress. it was half dark too. so i told myself "no matter what she looks like, i'm going to date her". i approached, greeted & we dated for a month. she wasn't my type.
I know this response was 2 years ago, but it was solid and humorous. I wish you could give an "Informative" response to me, but I understand that option has been taken away.
In response to your main topic, I don't believe thinking about sex is adultery, anymore than thinking about eating is gluttony, or thinking about drinking is drunkenness, or thinking about fighting is murder. If one is more predisposed toward a particular sin, it probably pays to be alert to what thinks about and for how long, and in what capacity.
I believe the sin of lust carries with it a decision of the will - to entertain the prospect and desire or be prepared to accept the opportunity (outside of lawful limits). For example, I don't believe it is a sin to want a nice car or home, and to work toward obtaining such by lawful means. But to fantasize about obtaining the same unlawfully - e.g. by theft or fraud would not be beneficial, if not sinful. I think the same reasoning can be applied to lust.
Oh former I(formatiave) emoji, how I miss you!!!
This post is definitely most deserving of one.
Thank you, @Charlesiii!
