How long have you been single?

[Lovette]

The really short version of the history goes something like: early christians exalted the martyrs who laid down their lives for the faith. After a few hundred years christianity became the official religion of the empire and persecution and martyrdoms declined sharply. So they kind of needed a new expression of ultimate devotion and apparently sacrificing marriage and family seemed the next closest thing to literally sacrificing your life for God. Didn't hurt that having no legitimate children meant no heirs meant that priests and monks couldn't pass on any property and it stayed with the church. And that was pretty much the state of affairs until the reformers came along and among other things they found in reading their bibles was that marriage was a good gift from a good god and the antidote to the existing hypocrisy of most of those who'd taken vows of celibacy not actually abstaining from sex, just marriage.

It does hurt though that in the medieval era, even early modern era, typically only the eldest got to inherit and run family property, younger kids were on their own, so there wasn't any property to pass on anyway. Of course marriage was originally a blessing, but it could be turned into a curse when it's worshipped as an idol or you settle for an ungoldly partner such for the sake of getting married.

I find it utterly ironic, that it has often been taught and propagandized that marital sex is so magnificent, it's the most "heavenly" experience you can have, almost like a taste of heaven; yet according to the Lord's own words, there's no marriage at all in the resurrection (Matt. 22:30), and no sex at all, since there's no death and thus no need for reproduction either.

 

[Churchgoer]

Since early 2021.

 

[Lanolin]

Being dumped isn't something most people want to admit to.
But then you can look at is as being free.

So it's a good thing no?
Otherwise, I'm sad for widows, as while their husband/wife may be gone, they're still tied to their departed in many ways. If the wife has changed her surname, she'll always be known as wife of...so and so.

 

[Lovette]

The really short version of the history goes something like: early christians exalted the martyrs who laid down their lives for the faith. After a few hundred years christianity became the official religion of the empire and persecution and martyrdoms declined sharply. So they kind of needed a new expression of ultimate devotion and apparently sacrificing marriage and family seemed the next closest thing to literally sacrificing your life for God. Didn't hurt that having no legitimate children meant no heirs meant that priests and monks couldn't pass on any property and it stayed with the church. And that was pretty much the state of affairs until the reformers came along and among other things they found in reading their bibles was that marriage was a good gift from a good god and the antidote to the existing hypocrisy of most of those who'd taken vows of celibacy not actually abstaining from sex, just marriage.

Also, speaking of church history, please keep in mind that God's design for marriage was for all mankind, all cultures and civilizations, including indigenous tribes in the jungles and savannahs, it had never been a uniquely Christian thing. Even in early Medieval era, marriage was mostly a civil union for economic and political purposes, marriage and sex had been regarded as worldly and carnal affairs, if not THE most worldly and THE most carnal temptations that distracted you away from God, until the fourth Lateran Council in the 1200s when it was sanctificed as a holy sacrament by the Catholic church.

 

[JohnDB]

Did you miss the part in the Olivet Discourse, where Jesus compared the end times with the days of Noah, people are still marrying and giving in marriage, totally unaware of second coming? Which was obviously not painted in a positive light?

For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. (Matt. 24:38-39)

And interestingly, in contrast, it is in resurrection, the afterlife, where there will be no more marriage, does it mean Satan worshippings are in power, forbidding people to marry? I thought Jesus was reigning with the saints, and the evil ones stay dead until the end of the kingdom, sarcastically speaking!

For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven. (Matt. 22:30)

Real world....
Young people today CANNOT share their lives with anyone. They are too self absorbed and narcissistic to successfully have a long term relationship.
Much less be vulnerable to procreate with another person.

"Love thy neighbor" being almost as important as Loving God is overlooked and dismissed out of hand....but you demonstrate love for God by Loving your neighbor and actually forming LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS.

People today dont know the joy's of a long term love affair with a spouse....
Of having children that love their parents unconditionally.
Of teaching those children your unique experiences and perspectives.
Of having a family of loved ones you give to constantly....both money and yourself.

Instead its control, manipulation, subjugation, and etc of others for temporary gain
"What have you done for me lately?" Being asked just before they walk away angrily. Zero partnership of shared goals....

Jesus talks about marriage alot....because it is a symbol and type of relationship we have with our Maker if we have a positive relationship with God. Two people loving each other get to procreate....that's the design made by God....God is good. Meaning marriage, children, grandkids and all that is good. God ONLY gives good gifts to mankind.

 

[cinder]

Real world....
Young people today CANNOT share their lives with anyone. They are too self absorbed and narcissistic to successfully have a long term relationship.
Much less be vulnerable to procreate with another person.

"Love thy neighbor" being almost as important as Loving God is overlooked and dismissed out of hand....but you demonstrate love for God by Loving your neighbor and actually forming LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS.

People today dont know the joy's of a long term love affair with a spouse....
Of having children that love their parents unconditionally.
Of teaching those children your unique experiences and perspectives.
Of having a family of loved ones you give to constantly....both money and yourself.

Instead its control, manipulation, subjugation, and etc of others for temporary gain
"What have you done for me lately?" Being asked just before they walk away angrily. Zero partnership of shared goals....

Jesus talks about marriage alot....because it is a symbol and type of relationship we have with our Maker if we have a positive relationship with God. Two people loving each other get to procreate....that's the design made by God....God is good. Meaning marriage, children, grandkids and all that is good. God ONLY gives good gifts to mankind.

So why didn't your generation teach them better? and what are you going to do to help them learn those critical life skills?

 

[Lovette]

Jesus talks about marriage alot....because it is a symbol and type of relationship we have with our Maker if we have a positive relationship with God. Two people loving each other get to procreate....that's the design made by God....God is good. Meaning marriage, children, grandkids and all that is good. God ONLY gives good gifts to mankind.

No, that's idolatry of marriage. Of course it was originally a blessing, as everything in the Garden was a originally a blessing, God never made junk; but those are just side benefits which may or may not come, we worship the creator, not his creations. I've heard this "sexual prosperity gospel" or "relational prosperity gospel" ad nauseum, that's a false modern gospel neither Jesus nor Paul preached.

"Two people loving each other" is purely hypothetical, if you're truly husband or wife material, God will bring a potential spouse to you as He brought Eve to Adam, that was God's design, no? But if He didn't, there's nobody to marry, then just forget about it, and accept God doesn't have an Eve for every Adam or an Adam for every Eve.

 

[cinder]

Also, speaking of church history, please keep in mind that God's design for marriage was for all mankind, all cultures and civilizations, including indigenous tribes in the jungles and savannahs, it had never been a uniquely Christian thing. Even in early Medieval era, marriage was mostly a civil union for economic and political purposes, marriage and sex had been regarded as worldly and carnal affairs, if not THE most worldly and THE most carnal temptations that distracted you away from God, until the fourth Lateran Council in the 1200s when it was sanctificed as a holy sacrament by the Catholic church.

But your question was about modern Christianity. Perhaps a related interesting question is why have all human societies come up with some form of marriage, even those without any Christian influence at all? And at least the God who commanded people to be fruitful and multiply made doing so rather enjoyable for the people concerned.

 

[JohnDB]

So why didn't your generation teach them better? and what are you going to do to help them learn those critical life skills?

Ya know?
You are right...(GenX almost boomer here...
I'm not quite human but close).

We took it for granted that people would always get married and have kids. Especially with all the Music running around focused on love. It never dawned on us that people would stop.

Now we are looking at a complete societal collapse in 20 years....I'll be in my 80's. And I'll likely die miserably as a result of not having enough young people around.

All those "Help Wanted" signs advertising low skill jobs available in restaurants and grocery stores that teenagers used to do....that's just the first signs something is wrong and that our society is no longer growing. And unless fixed...we are looking at an issue that will directly lead to our destruction.

 

[JohnDB]

No, that's idolatry of marriage. Of course it was originally a blessing, as everything in the Garden was a originally a blessing, God never made junk; but those are just side benefits which may or may not come, we worship the creator, not his creations. I've heard this "sexual prosperity gospel" or "relational prosperity gospel" ad nauseum, that's a false modern gospel neither Jesus nor Paul preached.

"Two people loving each other" is purely hypothetical, if you're truly husband or wife material, God will bring a potential spouse to you as He brought Eve to Adam, that was God's design, no? But if He didn't, there's nobody to marry, then just forget about it, and accept God doesn't have an Eve for every Adam or an Adam for every Eve.

This maybe true in your mind....
But reality that I live in says otherwise.
I celebrated my 15 year anniversary this past week. My dad was married to mom for over 60 years....my firstvwife and I were married for 17 years.

It's happened often and regularly for people....except you...WHY YOU? What is unique about you that makes you unable?

And that's the question you should be asking.

 

[Lovette]

But your question was about modern Christianity. Perhaps a related interesting question is why have all human societies come up with some form of marriage, even those without any Christian influence at all? And at least the God who commanded people to be fruitful and multiply made doing so rather enjoyable for the people concerned.

Yeah, so is it for every animal species, to "go forth and multiply", that's their sole purpose of life. And there's no guarantee of either marriage or sex or procreation to be "enjoyable". What is guaranteed is excruciating pain for women in childbirth.

 

[JohnDB]

Yeah, so is it for every animal species, to "go forth and multiply", that's their sole purpose of life. And there's no guarantee of either marriage or sex or procreation to be "enjoyable". What is guaranteed is excruciating pain for women in childbirth.

There's the other promise and choice...

Alone, childless, insane, and unredeemed/unvalidated.

 

[cinder]

No, that's idolatry of marriage. Of course it was originally a blessing, as everything in the Garden was a originally a blessing, God never made junk; but those are just side benefits which may or may not come, we worship the creator, not his creations. I've heard this "sexual prosperity gospel" or "relational prosperity gospel" ad nauseum, that's a false modern gospel neither Jesus nor Paul preached.

"Two people loving each other" is purely hypothetical, if you're truly husband or wife material, God will bring a potential spouse to you as He brought Eve to Adam, that was God's design, no? But if He didn't, there's nobody to marry, then just forget about it, and accept God doesn't have an Eve for every Adam or an Adam for every Eve.

I'm starting to think you feel like you've been denied a good you'd like to have and are lashing out saying that well everyone who thinks it's all that great is committing idolatry. If you never want to marry that's fine, you can still serve God and be acceptable to him. If you want to marry that's also fine. But the rest of us know that marriage is a good gift from a good God whether we experience it or not and we're not going to denigrate God's design even if we don't understand it.

 

[Lovette]

This maybe true in your mind....
But reality that I live in says otherwise.
I celebrated my 15 year anniversary this past week. My dad was married to mom for over 60 years....my firstvwife and I were married for 17 years.

It's happened often and regularly for people....except you...WHY YOU? What is unique about you that makes you unable?

And that's the question you should be asking.

The answer's simple, God doesn't give you more than what you can handle. God has blessed me with abundance which I didn't earn, financial independence and security that could make my peers envy, I'm in no position to be greedy and lustful and asking for more, for my own benefits and any potential mate's.

 

[cinder]

There's the other promise and choice...

Alone, childless, insane, and unredeemed/unvalidated.

False dichotomy. Totally possible to be single, walk with God, and walk in the spirit of power, love, and self control that he has given us ( 2 tim 1:7). Heck we don't even know the marital status of most of the characters in scripture, it wasn't that important to the story because God can use anyone he chooses, even a donkey.

 

[JohnDB]

The answer's simple, God doesn't give you more than what you can handle. God has blessed me with abundance which I didn't earn, financial independence and security that could make my peers envy, I'm in no position to be greedy and lustful and asking for more, for my own benefits and any potential mate's.

And completely alone.....

And competely blowing off the functionality of your faith....making your faith dead and useless.

First lesson of the Lord's Prayer comes from the first word....telling us not to do it alone.

 

[Lovette]

I'm starting to think you feel like you've been denied a good you'd like to have and are lashing out saying that well everyone who thinks it's all that great is committing idolatry. If you never want to marry that's fine, you can still serve God and be acceptable to him. If you want to marry that's also fine. But the rest of us know that marriage is a good gift from a good God whether we experience it or not and we're not going to denigrate God's design even if we don't understand it.

For the record, I've never denigrated marriage as anything less than a good gift from a good God, the question is, marriage with WHO? I don't wanna marry a hypothetical partner who doesn't exist in my life. God is my shepherd, I shall not want. Unsatied desires, especially sexual desires, are the root of all agony. Peace is found in contentment with what you already have, no matter how little.

 

[Lovette]

There's the other promise and choice...

Alone, childless, insane, and unredeemed/unvalidated.

Yeah, say that to Paul, Timothy, all the Catholic priests and nuns, and Lord Jesus himself. Comparison is the thief of joy.

 

[Lovette]

And completely alone.....

And competely blowing off the functionality of your faith....making your faith dead and useless.

First lesson of the Lord's Prayer comes from the first word....telling us not to do it alone.

Gloat as you like, I'm never alone, at least as long as I'm still needed at work and my parents are still around, I assure you.

 

[Lovette]

There's the other promise and choice...

Alone, childless, insane, and unredeemed/unvalidated.

I'll bless my Lord who guards me from temptation, trouble and trauma. I'm already redeemed by the blood of Christ, not blood of a hymen.