How Many of Our Own Demons Need to be Chained Before We Can Start Dating?

[enril]

Hello Everyone,

An ongoing thread raised an excellent point: How perfect do we need to be before we can start dating/looking for a life partner and spouse?

Whenever I write threads, I usually ask for people to share something about themselves, so I feel it's only fair for me to pony up a few details about myself.

One of the fiercest dragons in my own life is depression, and I'm sure that was a huge contributing factor to my divorce. Marriage didn't "cure" me as I had hoped, and the girl he left me for (someone from our workplace) had a very happy-go-lucky personality, which I'm sure was a stark contrast to my own, which I'm sure was part of the attraction.

Many of us here are long-time singles, and repeated brushes with heartache has taught us the need to set limits and boundaries with others. But what about when it comes to ourselves?

* How much of our own issues have to be under control before we could be seen as fit for someone else?

* How do we even begin to measure how much "better" we are with what we're struggling with, and how much is enough?

* Should we just throw ourselves out there anyway, wish the for the best, and see what happens?

* How does one know when they have their own problems "under control" enough to be good for someone else?

I would love to hear your stories and thoughts! If it's too personal, don't feel a need to talk about yourself -- if it's more comfortable, tell us about the things you've observed and learned from others around you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share!

Firstly and most importantly, i have to be doing it for the right reason, not sex.
secondly, i have to be over my depression and have things in place to prevent me from trying to kill myself again.
thirdly, i need to build trust again--to be able to trust anyone but my 3 friends.
fourth, i need to be serious,
fithly, i need to be more centered in christ,
sixth, i need emotional, financial, spiritual, and physical preparedness.
seventhe, i need to gain honesty back.
eighth, i need to heal from my past,
ninth, i need to be able to love again,
and tenth, i need to find someone willing to follow me possibly into missions.
and, of course, i need to survive until i am an adult.

i dont know, but this is mine.

actually, i have no idea,but personally, no.

when you can accept yourself.

 

[Mem]

when you can accept yourself.

My answer goes with another thread that @ForgivenAndRedeemed authored and I was going to comment in that one also when he said, "If I were a prince (like Philip) but that is the wall I bumped into the (like Philip) qualification of being a prince. So, seeing this just poked me as a burr under the saddle that needs picked out, for the comfort of the horse as much as my own.

So, to finely tune the statement "when you can accept yourself," I would add, "as a prince(ss) in your own right," you will find yourself behaving accordingly. I mean, are you or are you not a son or daughter of God? And does your behavior change this attitude or does your attitude change your behavior?

Accept your identity as a child of the King of Heaven and Earth.