I believe, but I don't praise or give thanks.

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I believe that you're frustrated with the things going on your life on top of the loneliness. I'm fairly certain that God does not say f-you back at you. I think that you're really praying for the wrong things, hopefully God won't end your life prematurely but perhaps make it a little more enjoyable and give you something to look forward to.
 
So I cry for Your help while the world looks on
And they laugh at my hope when all hope is gone
But I’ll just keep prayin’ when answers won’t come
Am I the fool, am I just a fool
For standing alone while they mock Your name
"Well if your God is so good, tell us why all the pain?"
I’m not sure, not so sure that God is to blame...

[video=youtube;nOftdxtQgmA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOftdxtQgmA[/video]
 
ndsp said:
I don't really want my post in this category but it's probably the best place. I guess I can torque it a little bit to fit.

I'm a miserable fella. I probably have no valid reason to be miserable, but I am very miserable. Somehow, I'm a 45 year old, but I have all the hopes, interests and desires that come with a 25 year old. I know that sounds really weird, buts that's whats going on and that's where I am at. Spending social time with people my age (especially with the intention of finding a companion) is generally not enjoyable, because I am not there with them in associating with the things that people in my age range have in their lives. In my mind I want to get away from the old people, but wait, I'm old too!

I had a Christian counselor that put me at the the bottom of Maslow's pyramid, still hunting for basic things. I feel that God is teasing me. Out and about, I may share a smile with someone I find attractive. But once again, God is teasing me because the other person will be half my age. How did I even get that smile when I look like crap.

I believe in God without a doubt, but my relationship with him has become different.

I pray when I get up and pray when I go to bed, and I pray in between. but it's not praise, worship or thanks. It starts with f-you. Then I ask God to make the day my last day and to blot me out completely after my judgement. I end my prayer with another f-you. I've been doing this for a long time. I do pray for others, especially those close to me that need prayer. But as for me, I now only ask for the one thing.

I'm not interested in surrendering to God, I'm not interested in putting aside my desires for God, I'm not interested in growing old in my current state of mind, I'm just not interested any longer. There is a fair amount of loneliness in my life, and it has become tiring. This isn't and adolescent tantrum. I have my concerns in order and I pray for my end. I wait patiently on God for an answer to what I ask for.
Click to expand...

You are awful brave to say that to God! And you are always going to exist from here on out- it's only a matter of where you will exist. God wants us to have heaven, for all eternity, but first He puts us on this earth to be tested. And you my friend, are failing that test horribly.

First prove yourself truthful, unselfish, and kind. Your problem is you are trying to please yourself rather than trying to please God. It's not too late for you, you still have a chance to effect the outcome of where you will spend eternity.

"When I was a child I thought like a child, I acted like a child. But now that I am a man, I have put childish ways behind me."

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind can conceive what God has prepared for those who love Him."
 
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