Inferiority Complex

Seeking-Christ · Jul 28, 2022

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with feeling "good" about myself.

Back in 1999, my electronics teacher, took me to the side, and said to me: "You have got the worse inferiority complex, I've ever seen." Then He told me that I know a lot and should start feeling good about myself. But for some reason it feels like there is something broken inside of me that won't allow me to emotionally balance. If I start to feel good about myself, then I'm afraid that I will be too prideful. And if I'm too far down, then i start feeling depressed and like I'm falling apart.

To make things worse, when I write blogs about how I feel about things, sometimes I get people saying that I'm sinning because I'm writing about negative things, or whatever... I try to be in the word of God a lot, and I don't glean that out of it. I do glean that a Christian is to be honest.

When I put myself down, I really am seeing things that way. I could try to explain why... But I would just be trying... I don't know how to explain it. How to take these emotions and turn it into something logical that I can write out for you. In other posts, I've talked openly about having been diagnosed with a learning disability and some people on this site choose to say it isn't so.

I really don't care what your opinion is about that. All I'm going to say is, I feel like I have a problem. And I would like some prayer about it. Even if there is nothing wrong with me. What does it hurt to pray that way? You can pray anyway you like...

blueluna5 · Jul 28, 2022

Confidence is NOT a sin. So try finding good things about yourself and thank God for them. Like you did pretty awesome with me God! Truthfully it will be weird at first, but it's a fake it until you make it type of situation.

I'm a teacher and I can sympathize with your teacher as well. Imagine looking at your child and seeing their potential, but they keep saying "I can't. I suck. I'm ugly" over and over. I see it happen so much and it's devastating bc it's not freaking true!!

You know I'll have a kid with a 48 IQ but the drive. I know they're doing as much as possible. When they get into the "I can't do it. I'm too dumb" I can't measure how I'm doing as a teacher at all. I can't figure out how much improvement they can make bc it's the behavior, not the intellect that's the main problem.

Maybe you have a definite disability or maybe your teachers were just terrible. When I was a kid I started failing bc I couldn't read. After 2 weeks of tutoring in the summer I was making straight A's. Looking back they never taught me phonics in school!! I was trying to memorize the whole English language like a jigsaw puzzle and it was not working out obviously. That's why "hooked on phonics" was such a novel concept back then. 😆

So... my point. Don't be so hard on yourself if you have a disability. There can be many reasons for it. There are environmental reasons. Do you feel it's holding you back in something?

crmvet · Jul 29, 2022

Philippians 4:8

Runningman · Jul 29, 2022

Seeking-Christ said:

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with feeling "good" about myself.

Back in 1999, my electronics teacher, took me to the side, and said to me: "You have got the worse inferiority complex, I've ever seen." Then He told me that I know a lot and should start feeling good about myself. But for some reason it feels like there is something broken inside of me that won't allow me to emotionally balance. If I start to feel good about myself, then I'm afraid that I will be too prideful. And if I'm too far down, then i start feeling depressed and like I'm falling apart.

To make things worse, when I write blogs about how I feel about things, sometimes I get people saying that I'm sinning because I'm writing about negative things, or whatever... I try to be in the word of God a lot, and I don't glean that out of it. I do glean that a Christian is to be honest.

When I put myself down, I really am seeing things that way. I could try to explain why... But I would just be trying... I don't know how to explain it. How to take these emotions and turn it into something logical that I can write out for you. In other posts, I've talked openly about having been diagnosed with a learning disability and some people on this site choose to say it isn't so.

I really don't care what your opinion is about that. All I'm going to say is, I feel like I have a problem. And I would like some prayer about it. Even if there is nothing wrong with me. What does it hurt to pray that way? You can pray anyway you like...

It’s never a sin to be honest even when the truth isn’t pretty. You won’t receive unanimous praise from people on any one thing, but God will always respect your truthful words.

By the way, I have prayed for you. I believe God will help you somehow or another on this point.

CharliRenee · Jul 29, 2022

Oh man, oh man can I relate. I mean, we both know, I imagine, the biggest problem with insecurity is where our focus is, on ourselves. I get it and understand.

It makes me sad that when you open up and are transparent (a beautiful thing, btw), you receive criticism.

My Dad was a preacher, and he and Mama wanted us humble so they rarely provided encouragement, but offered constructive criticism readily. Don't get me wrong, they were well intentioned.

Anyhoooo, it is a pickle, because we want to remain humble, but also remember that God calls us to love everyone, including ourselves. With His tender-mercies there is a way to love ourselves, without being prodeful and self centered. Insecurity and pride share the weakness of self focus. It is a hard habit to break. I still find myself going down the perverbial rabbit hole from time to time.

Please don't beat yourself up as it is a process. He will help you get where you need to be. For me, I stumble when I spend too much time thinking about me, if I am ok, am I doing it right, stuff like that. He and age (time) has shown me that if I am in a place of self chatter in my head, find healthy ways to study to be quiet. Like writing can help process, good job on your blog. Also finding ways to help others is huge. When I take the time to hear the struggles of others, to pray for them, to care for them...wow, suddenly my mind is free from the me me me falling short banter in my head. Rest helps, nature helps, being productive, oh laughter (this one really helps me to stop taking myself ,and others too, so seriously)... God gives us soooo much to distract us from the things that hurt our well-being.

I hope that you know how much I appreciated your thread. It resonated with me, so much. You matter, truly and helped me today with your honesty, ty.

Seeking-Christ · Jul 29, 2022

Since I don't think I know anything for sure. Or at least I won't say any of this stuff with confidence. I will provide a life story/theory as to how I might have gotten this complex.

I think growing up, my parents were kinda negative. A lot of things bothered them, and I felt like I had to watch my step. Now days they are a lot older and my Dad has slowed down a lot, and since He is retired things don't seem to bother him as much. My mother on the other hand, everything seems to bother her.

I think I might have PTSD due to being picked on at school too much. There was a lot more going on then just name calling. I was getting kicked around in the hallways, and other nasty things done to me. Back when I was in School, teachers didn't care about stopping that stuff. When I was sitting in History class, a big kid used to smack me in the head with a hardcover book. The teacher not only didn't care, she later praised that student, saying that He really isn't as bad as everyone said he was. I never told my parents about this stuff because I didn't want them to think I was a wimp, who couldn't handle himself. Anyways that went on from 1993 - 1999.

Here I am at 43 years old, and still get flashbacks.

I think that maybe with how I was being treated, combined with the fact that I was struggling with my school work, and maybe even the views I had formed around the scriptural ideas of right and wrong. Created such a conflict of mind, that I had nervous break down.

I would say that my perception of ugliness came from teenage girls looking at me and saying "ew". I figured if they didn't like my appearance. Then I guess I must be ugly to them. So I guess that defines ugliness. Also when I came online, I had similar experiences with women, which is part of the reason why I don't usually show my pictures. (None of us are teenagers now of course.)

When it comes to doing things, I find that when I compare myself to others, that I don't do as good at those things as others do. It's no surprise because even when I was in School, I had the same experience. I had to get used to fighting to stay in the game. I didn't have friends, but really didn't have time for them anyways. If I were to make it through I had to keep my nose in the books.

As a Custodian for a School, I feel like a failure because I took 2 years of Electronics. But when I got my first electronics job, I was fired after 4 weeks. They said I did a good job but wasn't fast enough. Then I had to run to another job. I was a packer at an RV place. After 4 weeks, I was told that I needed to speed up for leave. I left. That was when I became a Custodian. It's hard of my body and feet. I have arthritis in my feet now. But I'm too scared to look for a new job, because I won't be fast enough to hold another one down. In fact I don't think most places will even take me because I don't have the confidence. With my life story, there is no honest reason for me to be confident! And just to keep me in this state of mind, at the school I feel like the teachers look down at me.

tourist · Jul 29, 2022

Runningman said:

It’s never a sin to be honest even when the truth isn’t pretty. You won’t receive unanimous praise from people on any one thing, but God will always respect your truthful words.

By the way, I have prayed for you. I believe God will help you somehow or another on this point.

I have prayed for him too.

CharliRenee · Jul 29, 2022

Seeking-Christ said:

Since I don't think I know anything for sure. Or at least I won't say any of this stuff with confidence. I will provide a life story/theory as to how I might have gotten this complex.

I think growing up, my parents were kinda negative. A lot of things bothered them, and I felt like I had to watch my step. Now days they are a lot older and my Dad has slowed down a lot, and since He is retired things don't seem to bother him as much. My mother on the other hand, everything seems to bother her.

I think I might have PTSD due to being picked on at school too much. There was a lot more going on then just name calling. I was getting kicked around in the hallways, and other nasty things done to me. Back when I was in School, teachers didn't care about stopping that stuff. When I was sitting in History class, a big kid used to smack me in the head with a hardcover book. The teacher not only didn't care, she later praised that student, saying that He really isn't as bad as everyone said he was. I never told my parents about this stuff because I didn't want them to think I was a wimp, who couldn't handle himself. Anyways that went on from 1993 - 1999.

Here I am at 43 years old, and still get flashbacks.

I think that maybe with how I was being treated, combined with the fact that I was struggling with my school work, and maybe even the views I had formed around the scriptural ideas of right and wrong. Created such a conflict of mind, that I had nervous break down.

I would say that my perception of ugliness came from teenage girls looking at me and saying "ew". I figured if they didn't like my appearance. Then I guess I must be ugly to them. So I guess that defines ugliness. Also when I came online, I had similar experiences with women, which is part of the reason why I don't usually show my pictures. (None of us are teenagers now of course.)

When it comes to doing things, I find that when I compare myself to others, that I don't do as good at those things as others do. It's no surprise because even when I was in School, I had the same experience. I had to get used to fighting to stay in the game. I didn't have friends, but really didn't have time for them anyways. If I were to make it through I had to keep my nose in the books.

As a Custodian for a School, I feel like a failure because I took 2 years of Electronics. But when I got my first electronics job, I was fired after 4 weeks. They said I did a good job but wasn't fast enough. Then I had to run to another job. I was a packer at an RV place. After 4 weeks, I was told that I needed to speed up for leave. I left. That was when I became a Custodian. It's hard of my body and feet. I have arthritis in my feet now. But I'm too scared to look for a new job, because I won't be fast enough to hold another one down. In fact I don't think most places will even take me because I don't have the confidence. With my life story, there is no honest reason for me to be confident! And just to keep me in this state of mind, at the school I feel like the teachers look down at me.

My heart reaches out to you. I think you are working through stuff. I think that is healthy. You have faced a lot of disappointment, especially when you are working so hard. I tell you what I notice though, you are working on it, never giving up on yourself. I find that so hopeful. Sorry to hear you are hurting physically, that has to be so hard. I bet most of the teachers have respect for your hard work. What you do is IMPORTANT and any good teacher/person will recognize it. They are busy with their own stuff, and when you cross their minds, they probably only have good thoughts, unless their the sort that are prone to negative thinking. Those kind think poorly of most cuz that is their go to. I mean, that is me guessing. I don't know but know this person behind the keyboard is thinking highly of you. I pray you find whatever it is that gives your mind peace.

You r a blessing, period!!!

Sula · Jul 30, 2022

Seeking-Christ said:

I understand some of those things you mentioned, sometimes we feel uncomfortable, sometimes betrayed, sometimes judging, sometimes sad , hopeless, sometimes misunderstood, sometimes alone , all those feelings comes and goes in our lives daily. In my life now there is a lot going on at the same time also but I have being praying and asking God to keep my eyes on him alone , and to trust in him above all circumstances. Sometimes he allows suffering to help us to overcome, to learn , to be more like him , to mold us … to use our trials to encourage others in the future . There’s a lot of purposes in our daily trials and struggles. And he’s the only one who really knows you and knows your heart and he’s the one who can change all that in your heart , mind , emotions… more you seek him , more closer you get , more intimacy and more understanding of his will . Trust in him and keep on seeking him . Sometimes we are like Peter , walking in the water and instead of keep looking at Jesus and keep walking, we get distracted by life and trials and lose focus and drowning. But he’s always by our side and he’s faithful to finish the work he started in all of us . Stop looking at yourself or ppl or circumstances and look to your savior , your God and he will guide you , that’s what the Lord has been telling me , to stop looking at me or others or my problems but to seek him and put all my trust in him and then I’ll experience the real peace and he will be with each one of us , helping us to walk accordingly with his will and purpose. Be blessed my brother 🙏🏻 Never stop fighting 🙏🏻

notmyown · Aug 3, 2022

Seeking-Christ said:

child ♥ --

(i ought to have written this before, and i ask your forgiveness for not doing so.)

have you ever heard of a man called King David? the sweet psalmist of Israel (2 Sam 23)? a man after God's own heart? of course you have! and have you read the songs he wrote for the church to sing? they're not all chirpy happiness! David poured out his heart to the Lord; he was very honest. but one thing David did better than i, and perhaps better than you might, was to always call to mind his hope wasn't in more advantageous circumstances, but in God. ( i am just awful at remembering that)

in my own life i've found that though it's good for me to do an honest self-reflection from time to time, too much looking at me makes me feel depressed and despondent. so i'll give you this advice that i so need to take:

eyes on Christ!

i'll continue to pray for you, and much more importantly, the Lord Jesus always lives to pray for you.

affectionately, your (really, really) older sister

Flowergirl19 · Aug 9, 2022

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
—Luke 12:6-7

Journeyman · Aug 12, 2022

Seeking-Christ said:

Man, I feel blessed by what our heavenly Father has done in your life.
Sometines it takes a long time for God to teach us not to be proud of ourselves,

thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, Deu.8:18

For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? 1Cor.4:7

I think knowing we're dust in the wind is a very healthy attitude. 😊

HealthAndHappiness · Aug 13, 2022

Biblical self esteem is different from psychological self esteem aka pride.
It's beyond the scope of a forum, to teach, but I can get you started if you want.
I too had this problem and at times have to remind myself not to replay the put downs and insults of my Mom's second husband. I learned that the way family and friends interact with young children can affect them as adults. It's a program that needs to be erased by God's Word and and replaced(written over) by God's Word dwelling and applied to life. Spiritual self esteem is basically looking at yourself the way that God does. He wants us to see ourselves as the Bible describes.
The very first step is taught in this video.
Let me know what you think. It isn't long.
Have a good weekend Seeking Christ.

Health and Happiness

shittim · Aug 13, 2022

HELP! Where is the video???

HealthAndHappiness · Aug 13, 2022

The good news/ gospel is the beginning for everyone.
Then He provides us with 10 Solutions for life. One includes a personal sense of destiny and Biblical self esteem.

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Inferiority Complex

Seeking-Christ

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blueluna5

Well-known member

crmvet

Senior Member

Runningman

Banned

CharliRenee

Member

Seeking-Christ

Guest

tourist

Senior Member

CharliRenee

Member

Sula

Member

notmyown

Senior Member

Flowergirl19

Active member

Journeyman

Well-known member

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member

shittim

Senior Member

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member