Is being single almost the perfect peace?

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Well you wrote here, so...if its to uncomfortable to be honest then maybe I'll just leave off. Sorry.

Children from past relationships are still important. The new gf will have to deal with them.
 
Don't worry I'm not judging you, we all do stupid things especially when we are young and don't know any better.
Well its traumatic when men fornicate with you (I mean women) no matter if you believe or not. Because if you do believe in Christ you wouldn't have fornicated? You would have married her.

I don't know if this was after or before your come to Jesus moment.
Yes you have a very black and white view on life it think. You don’t just marry someone , yes of course it was a mistake to fornicate. But we all sin. Look at the bible. How many did it perfect? One. Jesus. So you are judging. Your temperament is clear show of judgement. This is why many people don’t even believe. Everyone is worried about everyone else. When you closet is clean and you never sin again then maybe assume. This is a Christian forum. Not a forum of perfection. Ask yourself next time. How can I show compassion. Not judgment. That’s what Jesus would do.
 
Well you wrote here, so...if its to uncomfortable to be honest then maybe I'll just leave off. Sorry.

Children from past relationships are still important. The new gf will have to deal with them.
No one asked for your opinion. I also said I was staying single. So what new gf are you talking about. Read clear before you go off on a forum.
 
  • But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:9).
It meant, marry the one you fornicated with! Ok? Not find another and abandon the first one. Good Lord some people are so thick. God can work things out even though you seem not to believe this.

I have seen this with one of my church friends who did fornicate with her husband before they married, They got married, she got back with God and he did follow after. So nothing is impossible. And they had more children..!

PRAY about it.
 
No one asked for my opinion.

Well it's not my opinion. It's scripture. If you find it hard to stay single, marry her! If she doesn't want to marry you then ok, but come on what girl wouldn't want the father of their child to marry her? It shows that you do love her if you are genuine about it, and look after her for the rest of her life and be committed.

Nobody asked for my opinion. OK too bad.
 
I am a father and my daughter’s mother is a great mom. Our incompatible through god and many other things was bound sooner or later to destroy us, which it did. But a friendship remains. During the time and after this I have truly accepted that I must be a father first and only concern my life with that purpose unless someone god planted right in front of me came along. However know one in my 32 years every came along that even really wanted to think about church or god. Maybe over two. So I’ve made it my best effort to stay single and focus on god and my daughter. I do yearn for that intimacy and connection but refrain now from sex and anything that leads me to a path of self destruction. I’ve found at the end of the day, when I get lonely , I can pray to god and he gives me comfort. Does anyone find it hard to find someone truly interested and willing to live gods path? Or find it hard to stay single by choice? Im coming more at peace with it. Although many days still come up with loneliness and regrets from my past.

I like to say that loneliness is an occupational hazard of singleness. Eventually you find healthier ways to cope (TV, youtube, hobbies, pets etc) and you recognize it for what it is. Sounds like you've done a lot of growing in the area of making good choices. So you just grit your teeth and power your way through on the days that it gets rough, and as you get more used to it, it does get better. And yes there are those of us out there that do want to follow God and his ways but not many and sometimes think one of the ways we cope is to spend time alone because we feel much more alone when we're around people who aren't like us (which seems to be almost everyone). But you did find our little corner of the internet so welcome.
 
No one asked for my opinion.

Well it's not my opinion. It's scripture. If you find it hard to stay single, marry her! If she doesn't want to marry you then ok, but come on what girl wouldn't want the father of their child to marry her? It shows that you do love her if you are genuine about it, and look after her for the rest of her life and be committed.

Nobody asked for my opinion. OK too bad.
Actually, I value and respect your opinion.
 
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Don't worry I'm not judging you, we all do stupid things especially when we are young and don't know any better.
That's for sure. My stupid thing when I was young and the hormones were raging was hooking up with my first wife. Horrible decision. Paid dearly for it. 6 1/2 years of physical abuse, verbal abuse, infidelity, and mental anguish.

Did get my daughter out of it though. I had sole custody of my dog.

Even though she didn't love me at least my dog loved his daddy. Live and learn.

Some people learn the hard way. By the grace of God I managed to live.
 
No one asked for my opinion.

Well it's not my opinion. It's scripture. If you find it hard to stay single, marry her! If she doesn't want to marry you then ok, but come on what girl wouldn't want the father of their child to marry her? It shows that you do love her if you are genuine about it, and look after her for the rest of her life and be committed.

Nobody asked for my opinion. OK too bad.
No scripture says to marry a believer. Yes the past is a mistake . Obviously. But doesn’t mean you need to commit to someone that doesn’t believe in god. That’s an even bigger sin. Explain th sin in not marrying her? There is none ins scripture at all. The sin is fornication that happened years god. There is no sin happening now other then your assumptions and misinformed measures of something you have no idea about. You no one piece of the story and that’s it. Don’t assume you have the answers.. you know nothing of the entirety of it. So don’t tell someone to marry a person when you don’t even know them or their ex partner. You sound ridiculous and misinformed. Scripture is not part of this. I’ve seen your other posts on this site. You’re an expert at apparently everything. Yet just lonely and miserable.
 
Don’t confuse scripture with your ideas of what’s best. Of course for my daughter’s sake it seems logical to marry. But is it logical if it was toxic? Not at all. And in no way shape or form has god ever said to marry someone for the sake of your kids. It’s should have been done differently I get that. I’m very well aware. It’s normal to feel the need of a companion. That’s it’s. I’m not dating. I’m taking care of my daughter
 
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Hi @SearchingforSerenity -- I had said I'd drop you a message -- however, the system won't allow me to due to your profile being set to private.

It also won't let me access your profile to leave a message on your wall.

Just wanted to let you know I'm not ignoring the messages you left for me -- I just have no access to contact you or any way of leaving you a message except for here in the forums or on my own profile page.

God bless and welcome to CC! :)
 
Being Single can be a peaceful state of being.. But it is very much dependent on ones personality / mental make up and relation with the LORD.. Also the LORD can cause one to adapt to being Single..

For me i can be alone ( apart from other humans) because i know i am never alone (The LORD is always with me)

Without the LORD i imagine that very very few people can function properly being single and alone..
 
Don’t confuse scripture with your ideas of what’s best. Of course for my daughter’s sake it seems logical to marry. But is it logical if it was toxic? Not at all. And in no way shape or form has god ever said to marry someone for the sake of your kids. It’s should have been done differently I get that. I’m very well aware. It’s normal to feel the need of a companion. That’s it’s. I’m not dating. I’m taking care of my daughter
Searching, meet Lanolin.

She likes to take what you said, combine it with some absurd stereotypes and make something up. It's quite entertaining once you get used to it.

Don't take it personal. She does it to everyone. Just yesterday she claimed I called her a (female dog) for some reason.

You'll get used to it.
 
I take care of all the finances and never left anyone stranded. She lives upstairs and I live downstairs for now. I’m not a worthless person

Hi Searching, welcome to the site!

I respect you looking out for them and trying to do right by God at the same time. I'm sure it isn't easy but hang in there, God's always got an answer!

Hope you enjoy your time here 😎
 
Apologies for this being long, I'm kind of new to community forums like this one. Please abstain from turning my post into a drawn out discussion in this thread, as this is not intended to stir anything, it is just a long post for reading. You can read the thoughts of another in-perfect person or just skip this post. :)


I value the bible, but The Word can be used to heal or used to like a sharp sword. Bible perspectives or bible verses can be very difficult to hear, and even harder to accept, I think it’s how they are presented that can let them reach hearts that are hurting or make things worse. Bible stories and bible verses can be heavy, that doesn’t mean they are wrong, but if they are shared with misunderstandings they can lack love. We should not be lacking in love with our words or actions, as the core of the bible is supposed to be love. We do not follow God and His Word out of obligation, we follow it because if we Love God we gain a desire to do what’s right. For many, love is not yet finished or perfected, there is still a work of progress going on, but that doesn’t mean God won’t still be a shepherd to those who want God in their lives.

The paths of another person, unless there is a personal relationship to one another, no one knows what life details, hardships, struggles, circumstances and situations have been experienced. However, if someone has offered themselves to be servants of God, or been grafted into God's family tree through Jesus's grace, then we can trust that God will take care of them. Their paths might not have clarity yet, and none of us know how God will choose to direct them, but we do know that if God is their shepherd, He will guide those who love Him onto paths that will glorify Him.

Relationships that do not have love, do not glorify God, if God is not glorified He might redirect someone to a path that would glorify Him better, or lead them to where He can work on their hearts and transform what was bad into something new and good, and be glorified through newness. But only love can transform, and only with love can fulfillment be found, without love there is nothing (1 Corinthians 13:3).

For most people in general, I feel there are several paths God can use to grow us…. A path where mistakes are forgiven and an old self is put off, and now that someone is something new, they follow a new path that will bring greater glory to God. Or, a reverse path, going backwards but with a new view on love, to seek peace with people God puts on the hearts of those with renewed minds. Some reverse paths might need to be taken first, and then God would lead to an all new path later, such as going backwards to live-out the actions of forgiveness (God cannot forgive us if we do not forgive others), and then later use the humbled person as His good servant.

For humans to grow in love and display love, which is to practice displaying The Fruits of The Holy Spirit, can be very difficult though, especially to those who have hurt or others are guilty of causing hurt, or both sides have done equal amounts of harm. Love can even be hard to share to new people if we have unloving habits, unfriendly habits can be our greatest battles. But God wants there to be love. Love is the difficult path, God tends to want us to take the hard paths or the paths less traveled.

By the Love of the Holy Spirit, everyone can share kindness and seek newness. People who wish to truly embrace changes of love no longer need to hold onto guilt, shame, resentment, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and disrespect, they can become joyful to learn, and learn how to show love to new people, or old relationships that are open to interactions/communications, knowing that demonstrating love brings glory to God.

Ultimately, God needs to be glorified, and so long as God is glorified, God is pleased. In the Kingdom of Heaven, that's all there will be, is Glory to God, that is the purpose of creation, to Glorify God.

To people who enjoy bible stories, here are some bible verses and stories worth pondering over…..
+ John 4:7-26, the woman at the well shows us a woman who was far from being a holy person, but her heart was of excitement about Jesus, the Messiah. A woman like her was blessed to have met Jesus, and she probably never knew that she ended up being put into the stories of the greatest writings ever, The Holy Bible.
+ Romans 14 talks about eating and abstaining for God, both of which can be good if it’s for God. They speak of literal food, but the verses can apply to spiritual goodness too.
+ 2 samuel 6:14-19 displays King David dancing, giving glory to God with his entire body. This was viewed as a bad act in accordance with social standards, but the one who didn’t agree with David’s actions was later the one to be barren, as God didn’t like their heart which cared more about social standards than about Glory to Him. (this is talked about on websites like BibleHub that have commentary)
+ Story of Jonah, a story where God wanted evil people to receive warnings and love, but Jonah didn’t want to go to them (city of Nineveh), so God had Jonah eaten by a fish and in another part of the story Jonah sat and complained about many things, but he still did eventually go to Nineveh, even if he didn’t want to, he did what God wanted him to do, fulfilling God's will for the humans of that city.

Thoughts to ponder on, but do not need answers here, just self-reflection for anyone who likes that sort-of thing.…
If we reflect on the story of Jonah, are there any people in our lives we are resisting to demonstrate God’s love to?
Or perhaps, God has people he is using to give us the messages of warnings and love, and like Nineveh, we need to change or we will face danger and destruction? But like Nineveh, God recognized they would change if given a chance, and so God gives us a 2nd chance too.

No one knows what side of a story someone else is on without a personal relationship, but blessed are those who do have a personal relationship with God, as He will direct their hearts when they acknowledge Him, Proverbs 3:6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

I hope people can find love and encouragement from God, and know that reading and living the Fruits of the Holy Spirit is the best thing we can do for ourselves, for any new and old relationships, and for God's Glory. Galatians 5:22 💖
Keep in mind, many need to practice the fruits, the way an athlete is blessed with talent but still needs to practice their skills for their sport. Let us all practice, all that we do, with more Love. 😇
 
Apologies for this being long, I'm kind of new to community forums like this one. Please abstain from turning my post into a drawn out discussion in this thread, as this is not intended to stir anything, it is just a long post for reading. You can read the thoughts of another in-perfect person or just skip this post. :)


I value the bible, but The Word can be used to heal or used to like a sharp sword. Bible perspectives or bible verses can be very difficult to hear, and even harder to accept, I think it’s how they are presented that can let them reach hearts that are hurting or make things worse. Bible stories and bible verses can be heavy, that doesn’t mean they are wrong, but if they are shared with misunderstandings they can lack love. We should not be lacking in love with our words or actions, as the core of the bible is supposed to be love. We do not follow God and His Word out of obligation, we follow it because if we Love God we gain a desire to do what’s right. For many, love is not yet finished or perfected, there is still a work of progress going on, but that doesn’t mean God won’t still be a shepherd to those who want God in their lives.

The paths of another person, unless there is a personal relationship to one another, no one knows what life details, hardships, struggles, circumstances and situations have been experienced. However, if someone has offered themselves to be servants of God, or been grafted into God's family tree through Jesus's grace, then we can trust that God will take care of them. Their paths might not have clarity yet, and none of us know how God will choose to direct them, but we do know that if God is their shepherd, He will guide those who love Him onto paths that will glorify Him.

Relationships that do not have love, do not glorify God, if God is not glorified He might redirect someone to a path that would glorify Him better, or lead them to where He can work on their hearts and transform what was bad into something new and good, and be glorified through newness. But only love can transform, and only with love can fulfillment be found, without love there is nothing (1 Corinthians 13:3).

For most people in general, I feel there are several paths God can use to grow us…. A path where mistakes are forgiven and an old self is put off, and now that someone is something new, they follow a new path that will bring greater glory to God. Or, a reverse path, going backwards but with a new view on love, to seek peace with people God puts on the hearts of those with renewed minds. Some reverse paths might need to be taken first, and then God would lead to an all new path later, such as going backwards to live-out the actions of forgiveness (God cannot forgive us if we do not forgive others), and then later use the humbled person as His good servant.

For humans to grow in love and display love, which is to practice displaying The Fruits of The Holy Spirit, can be very difficult though, especially to those who have hurt or others are guilty of causing hurt, or both sides have done equal amounts of harm. Love can even be hard to share to new people if we have unloving habits, unfriendly habits can be our greatest battles. But God wants there to be love. Love is the difficult path, God tends to want us to take the hard paths or the paths less traveled.

By the Love of the Holy Spirit, everyone can share kindness and seek newness. People who wish to truly embrace changes of love no longer need to hold onto guilt, shame, resentment, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and disrespect, they can become joyful to learn, and learn how to show love to new people, or old relationships that are open to interactions/communications, knowing that demonstrating love brings glory to God.

Ultimately, God needs to be glorified, and so long as God is glorified, God is pleased. In the Kingdom of Heaven, that's all there will be, is Glory to God, that is the purpose of creation, to Glorify God.

To people who enjoy bible stories, here are some bible verses and stories worth pondering over…..
+ John 4:7-26, the woman at the well shows us a woman who was far from being a holy person, but her heart was of excitement about Jesus, the Messiah. A woman like her was blessed to have met Jesus, and she probably never knew that she ended up being put into the stories of the greatest writings ever, The Holy Bible.
+ Romans 14 talks about eating and abstaining for God, both of which can be good if it’s for God. They speak of literal food, but the verses can apply to spiritual goodness too.
+ 2 samuel 6:14-19 displays King David dancing, giving glory to God with his entire body. This was viewed as a bad act in accordance with social standards, but the one who didn’t agree with David’s actions was later the one to be barren, as God didn’t like their heart which cared more about social standards than about Glory to Him. (this is talked about on websites like BibleHub that have commentary)
+ Story of Jonah, a story where God wanted evil people to receive warnings and love, but Jonah didn’t want to go to them (city of Nineveh), so God had Jonah eaten by a fish and in another part of the story Jonah sat and complained about many things, but he still did eventually go to Nineveh, even if he didn’t want to, he did what God wanted him to do, fulfilling God's will for the humans of that city.

Thoughts to ponder on, but do not need answers here, just self-reflection for anyone who likes that sort-of thing.…
If we reflect on the story of Jonah, are there any people in our lives we are resisting to demonstrate God’s love to?
Or perhaps, God has people he is using to give us the messages of warnings and love, and like Nineveh, we need to change or we will face danger and destruction? But like Nineveh, God recognized they would change if given a chance, and so God gives us a 2nd chance too.

No one knows what side of a story someone else is on without a personal relationship, but blessed are those who do have a personal relationship with God, as He will direct their hearts when they acknowledge Him, Proverbs 3:6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

I hope people can find love and encouragement from God, and know that reading and living the Fruits of the Holy Spirit is the best thing we can do for ourselves, for any new and old relationships, and for God's Glory. Galatians 5:22 💖
Keep in mind, many need to practice the fruits, the way an athlete is blessed with talent but still needs to practice their skills for their sport. Let us all practice, all that we do, with more Love. 😇
Wow. I must say this was very deep and very enlightening . You have great wisdom.
 
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Searching, meet Lanolin.

She likes to take what you said, combine it with some absurd stereotypes and make something up. It's quite entertaining once you get used to it.

Don't take it personal. She does it to everyone. Just yesterday she claimed I called her a (female dog) for some reason.

You'll get used to it.
I just love being talked about in the third person!
It just makes me feel like I'm eavesdropping on someone else's convo. huh.
Oh well, at least I feel like I'm talking to some people on here and not a mirror....
 
I did not say marry the mother of your daughter for the sake of your daughter. And neither did God.

This is what scripture says on the matter to avoid fornication, the Bible suggests, "let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband".

If what you shared - that you have difficulty staying single. Then you ought to have your own wife. Whether it's the mother of your child or somebody else is up to you. But that's what it says.

Take it or leave it.

If you are fine being single, then you wouldn't complain about it on here. That's not my opinion, it's just an observation.
 
I am a father and my daughter’s mother is a great mom. Our incompatible through god and many other things was bound sooner or later to destroy us, which it did. But a friendship remains. During the time and after this I have truly accepted that I must be a father first and only concern my life with that purpose unless someone god planted right in front of me came along. However know one in my 32 years every came along that even really wanted to think about church or god. Maybe over two. So I’ve made it my best effort to stay single and focus on god and my daughter. I do yearn for that intimacy and connection but refrain now from sex and anything that leads me to a path of self destruction. I’ve found at the end of the day, when I get lonely , I can pray to god and he gives me comfort. Does anyone find it hard to find someone truly interested and willing to live gods path? Or find it hard to stay single by choice? Im coming more at peace with it. Although many days still come up with loneliness and regrets from my past.
I can relate to what you’re saying. I’m also walking that path with my three children, trusting God and putting Him first in my life. I’m a living testimony of God’s grace and mercy, and I believe He gives us strength and comfort when we feel alone.
May God continue to guide and strengthen you as you raise your daughter and walk faithfully with Him.