Is it okay for men to cry?

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Is it okay for men to cry?


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Richie_2uk

Guest
If I hit my finger with a hammer (or let me say it for some of you guys on this thread) If I burn myself on the stove...and I cry-out "that hurt" ..its not the same as crying like a baby because I got hurt :)
I wasnt on about crying like a baby. Im just answering the question, and yes its ok for a man to cry, whether you or anyone think different.
 
May 3, 2013
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If I hit my finger with a hammer (or let me say it for some of you guys on this thread) If I burn myself on the stove...and I cry-out "that hurt" ..its not the same as crying like a baby because I got hurt :)
Of course sir! I´m not talking about whining.

My own ex-wife, when she broke her arm, showed to be stronger than I thought she was, the moment I picked her up, taking her in my arms to the hospital.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest
That´s it!

David cried a lot when Absalon died (several others too).

He was a "baby" who fought against Goliath!
Didnt "cry" when He fought Goliath did he? Didn't cry when his brothers made fun of him...didn't cry when he killed the Bear and the Lion...Yes He cried when his son died...He was a real man
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
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Mitspa said:
Some of you guys have spent to much time as a kid, in the kitchen with moma and the other girls...you should have been outside throwing rocks and wrecking you bike....:p


Lol you guys are so desperate to get some approval from a woman, you will do or say anything! Boy its sad what some guys will do for a little attention :(
If I hit my finger with a hammer (or let me say it for some of you guys on this thread) If I burn myself on the stove...and I cry-out "that hurt" ..its not the same as crying like a baby because I got hurt :)
Clearly im not trying to make any woman think how sweat I am...am I? :) Im trying to express how sad it is to hear men act like a bunch of girls and babies and then try to approve such behavior through misuse of the bible.
forest-whitaker-eye.jpg
...seriously
 
May 3, 2013
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Didnt "cry" when He fought Goliath did he? Didn't cry when his brothers made fun of him...didn't cry when he killed the Bear and the Lion...Yes He cried when his son died...He was a real man
He cried just these: 1Sa 17:32 And David said to Saul, "Let no man's heart fail because of him. Your servant will go and fight with this Philistine."
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Yes and the thread has gone way past that point into this nonsense where men are acting like girls and the girls are encouraging men to act like girls and babies.

You know what also isn't manly? Being degrading and disrespectful towards women. Generalizing a gender. I'm no feminist, but I also don't like hearing people talk like women are wimps.

As I said before, God created tear ducts on a man for a reason. When you're a man, you don't cry for no reason. You don't cry because your football team lost and you're in a sour mood. You don't cry because you broke a glass pitcher full of water and now you have a mess to clean. A man cries for legitimate reasons. Think about if you had a child and you lost that child. Wouldn't you cry? Or say you got married and your wife was suddenly taken from you? What then? Still not manly to cry?

Someone please stop me from ever clicking on this thread ever again. This is ridiculous.
 

Reborn

Senior Member
Nov 16, 2014
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Clearly im not trying to make any woman think how sweat I am...am I? :) Im trying to express how sad it is to hear men act like a bunch of girls and babies and then try to approve such behavior through misuse of the bible.

Shoot, I guess I better put down the Kleenex, and go take a bath in some motor oil, while snacking on some chainsaw blades? ........Man up right?:D

Nothing wrong with being a little emotional from time to time brother Mitspa.:eek:
 

gypsygirl

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
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Some of you guys have spent to much time as a kid, in the kitchen with moma and the other girls...you should have been outside throwing rocks and wrecking you bike....:p

and perhaps you have spent far too much time consuming the narrow-minded, insecurity-driven, nothing-but-compost you're trying to pass off here as what a "real man" is supposed to be. it makes me wonder what in the world happened to you that left you so afraid of something as being vulnerable.

i'm not sure what your aspirations about women and relationships are, but most women aren't interested in a man who finds pride in maintaining the facade of steely reserve and losing one's tenderness.

when i've met guys who behave like you, i find them untrustworthy, because on some level, a reasonable expression of emotion is at the heart of honesty. a man who sees any tears as utter weakness will never be someone i can see as genuine or honest, because that part of you has to be locked up out of shame and fear.

plain and simple, it's a pride thing. : )

finally, if you look at the greek word used to denote "tenderhearted", eusplagchnos, it actually speaks to the ability to deeply relate in compassion and empathy for someone. in fact, it is also a reference to the bowels, which were considered the seat of emotion and intention, not unlike the word "gut-wrenching". The word then means compassionate, easily (quickly) moved to love, pity, or sorrow. It describes one having tender feeling for someone else.
(taken from my strongs + commentary) while it may not describe "crying" it is a great definition for the kind of heart and behavior that is moved to tears of compassion or empathy, which is usually why i am likely to cry.

Ephesians 4:32: "be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even"
1 Peter 3:8: "of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful"

 
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Mitspa

Guest
I don't know how you conclude that bravery necessitates showing no emotion. Bravery is bravery regardless of the tears or lack thereof.

And nowhere in Scripture does it indicate that Jesus never cried during his torture and crucifixion. In fact, it's hard to imagine that he didn't as the eyes producing tears is a natural physiological response to pain.
We have a real man as our Savior, and he cried--publicly. So this notion that true manhood requires suppressing all negative emotion is simply false.

The last thing I'll say is that you talk about crying as though it's a sign of immaturity, but I would question whether using condescending terms like "cry like a baby" or "cry like a girl" are really mature contributions to the discussion. It is safe to assume Jesus cried, not "like a baby", but like any human who is having chunks of flesh ripped from their body would cry, and that took nothing away from the gravity and the glory of that act of love.
Look...Im just trying to bring some balance to this discussion... Men are supposed to be men and to act like men...yes gentle and kind..but not soft like a woman...not emotional but steady and more grounded. Some of what I read on this thread will really harm a man before other men...and like it or not..its still a mans world. These emotional type things are not welcome in the real world when your trying to assure others and be a leader. Jesus was gentle but not weak...He was strong but not harmful or destructive... He told folks to buck-up and have faith ..He didn't cry in the middle of the storm.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Hmm... I go off to pick up some ground chuck for the big pot of chili I'm cooking tonight and y'all blow up this thread without me.

Mitspa do you like to stir big pots of stuff just to see what will happen? Or are you really so macho that you believe you will never cry? Better be careful, you'll grow up to be like wi... er, like a certain other old, cranky, crabby person here.

I'm reminded of a pastor who was talking about people who don't want to pray at the altar because they don't want anyone to see them cry. Yeah, when you pray sometimes you cry, and some men think it will hurt their manhood. He said "Some guys say they're just not emotional. I got a cure for that." He opened a side door and said, "Let them stick their fingers in this door frame..." and he slammed the door. "We'll see some emotion, I guarantee it!"
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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Look...Im just trying to bring some balance to this discussion... Men are supposed to be men and to act like men...yes gentle and kind..but not soft like a woman...not emotional but steady and more grounded. Some of what I read on this thread will really harm a man before other men...and like it or not..its still a mans world. These emotional type things are not welcome in the real world when your trying to assure others and be a leader. Jesus was gentle but not weak...He was strong but not harmful or destructive... He told folks to buck-up and have faith ..He didn't cry in the middle of the storm.

​So you're telling us if you were nailed to a cross like Jesus was, and had huge nails ripping into your flesh, and being whipped and beaten also, you wouldn't bawl like a baby? Baloney!! What if your wife/child/family member got killed, you wouldn't cry? Come on now..stop acting so macho..
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
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*shrugs*

To me, it all depends on why someone (whether man or woman) is crying and the motivation behind it. The last relationship I had was with a man who regularly broke out into blubbering sobs, usually when talking about his children. No doubt, he'd had a rough life. He was raising his two youngest kids on his own because the mother had passed away (she had a seizure and drowned in the bathtub, and he was the one to come home and find her there.)

However, his crying was usually done in order to manipulate people. I remember being very, very angry one Christmas season when he proudly told me someone had given him $100, and one of the reasons was because he was using MY life (telling people the background of my adoption) along with his own in order to sway people's sympathies. I was LIVID. Because the part he doesn't tell people is that he doesn't work and uses any money coming in for cigarettes and alcohol, not feeding or clothing his children (he relies on family and girlfriends to do that.)

On the other hand, I have sat with men who have gone through terrible things and shed tears while relating what happened to them or others they were close to. I see absolutely nothing wrong or shameful about that.

One of my favorite characters ever in the Bible is Joseph, the son of Jacob. What people forget is that he was thrown into prison for several years. Having talked to modern men who have been prison for many years, I am always amazed that God kept Joseph's heart from becoming bitter, because I can only imagine what kinds of horrors he probably went through that no one wants to think about. Several years ago I visited a prison in Europe that supposedly once held Peter and Paul. It was basically a cramped hole dug into the ground (even I had to duck, and I'm only about 5 feet tall.) It was absolutely pitch black, with no safety from rodents, disease, complete darkness... or other inmates. And seeing as Joseph was in a prison many, many decades before this, I can hardly fathom how much worse the prison he was in probably was.

And yet, his heart was still pliable enough that when he recognized his brothers standing before him--more than once--the Bible says that he was so overcome that he had to hurry to find a place to weep, and that he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him.

Joseph was every bit a man's man in every way, and yet there were times he expressed his emotions through tears, even after his father died and his brothers revealed that they were still terrified of him.

We are all given different personalities for a reason. I myself am not much of a crier (I do cry, but very rarely), but I believe there are times and places when, if that's part of who God made you to be, crying is more than appropriate, no matter what gender you are.
 
M

Mitspa

Guest

and perhaps you have spent far too much time consuming the



i'm not sure what your aspirations about women and relationships are, but most women aren't interested in a man who finds pride in maintaining the facade of steely reserve and losing one's tenderness.

when i've met guys who behave like you, i find them untrustworthy, because on some level, a reasonable expression of emotion is at the heart of honesty. a man who sees any tears as utter weakness will never be someone i can see as genuine or honest, because that part of you has to be locked up out of shame and fear.

plain and simple, it's a pride thing. : )

finally, if you look at the greek word used to denote "tenderhearted", eusplagchnos, it actually speaks to the ability to deeply relate in compassion and empathy for someone. in fact, it is also a reference to the bowels, which were (taken from my strongs + commentary) considered the seat of emotion and intention, not unlike the word "gut-wrenching". The word then means compassionate, easily (quickly) moved to love, pity, or sorrow. It describes one having tender feeling for someone else.

while it may not describe "crying" it is a great definition for the kind of heart and behavior that is moved to tears of compassion or empathy, which is usually why i am likely to cry.

Ephesians 4:32: "be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even"
1 Peter 3:8: "of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful"

So are you practicing what you are preaching to me?

"narrow-minded, insecurity-driven, nothing-but-compost you're trying to pass off here as what a "real man" is supposed to be. it makes me wonder what in the world happened to you that left you so afraid of something as being vulnerable"
plain and simple, it's a pride thing."

When you can live what you preach to others I might listen to your advice :)

But until then...all this nonsense about men needed to act like girls and babies is just unbiblical! :p
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
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Just remembered one more Scripture regarding this:

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
Ecclesiastes 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

So the only wrong would be if a man cried in the time when he is not supposed to.
Women have a freedom to cry in expressing love, sadness and weakness to a far greater extent.
Not too bad being a weaker vessel :)
 
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Mitspa

Guest
​So you're telling us if you were nailed to a cross like Jesus was, and had huge nails ripping into your flesh, and being whipped and beaten also, you wouldn't bawl like a baby? Baloney!! What if your wife/child/family member got killed, you wouldn't cry? Come on now..stop acting so macho..
Im not sure what I would do...But we have the biblical record of what Jesus did and there was no crying but a man bearing the burden of what He was called to do...If God had wanted to record His crying...im sure He would have had that written...He did not add that ...I wonder if He is just not emotional enough to see the need?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
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;)*puts on wading boots* it's gettin' deep in here.. :)
 
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