Hi,
I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
I'm married and in my 40's. But if I were a single, 33+ man looking for a wife, and I heard about a godly Christian girl who was still a virgin at 33, and had been in pageants (= probably attractive), she'd be at the top of my list of women to meet.
A lot of young men in the western world don't think of virginity as an asset, but why would she want one of those kind of men? That's not a Biblical world view. If a man can't appreciate and value the fact that she has kept herself for marriage, he doesn't deserve her.
There are men who value virginity, who are virgins themselves, who wonder where they can find a woman to marry who is still a virgin. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, I suppose. For the right guy, the fact that she is a virgin will make her all that more of a treasure. There is also research that indicates a woman who is a virgin at marriage is less likely to divorce than a woman who has had multiple sexual partners. If nothing else, she is likely to value marriage more, if she has kept herself for it.
I suppose you might find some secular men who wouldn't want to date a virgin because they might think a woman who has remained a virgin for a while has a low sex drive or lacks people skills or whatever. This is a very foolish perspective, but some men have it. But I'd imagine most secular men wouldn't have this prejudice. Some men would like to be a girl's 'first.' But if marriage is not involved, these are the kind of guys for her to keep away from.
She shouldn't care at all what most men think, anyway. She needs to get married to one man, not most men. Most American men would probably make bad husbands. She just needs one. One who appreciates and values her.
Why care if immoral men think her morality is strange? Early Christians were thought to be strange for not betraying God by sacrificing to idols or by engaging in sexual immorality.
I was a virgin when I got married in my late 20's, and so was my wife. I was living in Asia at the time, in a culture where virginity for singles is considered to be the norm and there is a strong expectation of it. This culture is a lot more 'sane' in that regard than what's left of American cultural in terms of sexuality. The sexual revolution seriously messed up cultural values.
If you are single long enough, it can also feel like you will never meet your partner. It can seem like a pipe dream. I remember wondering when it would ever happen. I'd been praying about it. But I started praying about it more intensely and more often, and within a few months of doing that, I'd met the woman I was going to marry, and some specific things I'd been praying for were answered.
And there are single men who lament the fact that it is hard to find virgins these days. She definitely should not throw away her virginity to conform to this world. The main reason for not doing so should be love for God. We should avoid sin because we love God. But she should also realize that if a Christian man appreciates the fact that she is a virgin, he just might have good moral values when it comes to sexuality. He might have a stronger aversion to sexual sin than someone who does not think the same way. And if he's a virgin himself, he's also in the lowest risk category for catching a disease.