Is this possible to do when someone you loved hurts you?

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Hmm... I have done this, and I have witnesses who can attest that I have done this. But I hesitate to claim it is a mark of maturity, because i can be very immature. Or at least I am often called immature when I make a joke of one kind or another.

But yes, it is possible to do. Harder than one might think, because when one is hurting the automatic reaction is to hurt somebody else. But it is possible.
 
Welcome, KristyLove :)

Your opening post (OP) is a good thought. I would offer that maturity is taking responsibility for one's own needs, wants, emotions, thoughts, words, and actions. That encompasses the idea above.
 
I am immature for my age 😂


But many people hurt me,take advantage of me including the people I love dearly but I never hurt them back... instead I continue to love them and forgive them....

My answer is yes...it could be a sign that you are a mature person... because it is really hard to let things slide and let go if someone hurts you...but it becomes easy when you let Jesus take control of your life...❤
 
Yes, it is possible. I don't know about a mark of maturity, though.
 
I’m extremely immature. My first instinct is to hit back, hard.
 
Girl, you're not allowed to have that avatar, it's way too close to mine :D. @KristyLove (Joking, of course. Red roses are the best!)
 
Tinuviel said:
Girl, you're not allowed to have that avatar, it's way too close to mine :D. @KristyLove (Joking, of course. Red roses are the best!)
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I think wine roses are pretty cool, too.

bd07d8186c7b19db367501b3167c21bf--black-roses-roses-are-red.jpg
 
Well, if we think about those scriptures about “turning the cheek” or “loving your enemies” then what do you think Jesus would do? (Rhetoric question).

Yes it’s very possible and yes my flesh has manifested in thoughts of hurting them back, but I am reminded by God of who I am in Christ & that it’s not the end of the world lol I have my cry to God then refocus of why I’m really here on earth - which is my calling and my REAL relationship with Jesus.
 
I both agree and disagree with the photo. I don't think revenge is the right way to go as it won't solve anything or cause the pain to go away. It will more than likely make the pain worse. But I don't think we are called the "understand their situation" as that implies that had they been in a different situation they would have acted differently, which may or may not be true. It sounds like a way to take responsibility for their hurtful actions away from the person.
At the end of the day, they did something hurtful, and it's not up to the one who is hurt to justify the hurtful action. In fact, if all you do is justify the hurtful action, there is no need for forgiveness. I believe the true course to healing is to hold the person responsible for their actions and work to forgive them.
 
Ephesians 4:13 English Standard Version (ESV)
13: until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ...

While reading this scripture I particularly focused on the word mature trying to understand what God's ultimate goal is for Christians to become.
Is it possible to do the aforementioned? I say yes it is possible, although not easy ....One of the most difficult things to do as a human being is not reacting in a similar manner hurting the person who has hurt you. It takes self discipline and remembering the ultimate goal for a Christian is to become like Jesus Christ....

I appreciate all of your comments and pictures!

Stay blessed
 
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KristyLove said:
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I am not sure maturity is what causes it. I'd rather believe Christ has changed my heart to be able to love and forgive those trespassing me. And for me, I always try to figure out the need of behaving like they do. It is also a matter of exercising your heart to be that understanding and forgiving person.

I have forgiven and even tried to understand the woman stealing from my wheelchair's purse. I was of course defenseless. When a person sinks that low, she really is in deep spiritual and financial need. All I could do was to pray for her.

One thing is to forgive, another thing is taking the offender's perspective. A third thing is to let go and a fourth thing is to forget. Some instances I can do all three but the last. I can't forget. And when you are confronted by the person that hurt you and caused traumas it will come back. Despite forgiving, understanding and letting go.

Perhaps God can heal. But for now, it is the best to protect myself. And that's why it is important not to to forget. Because then you can ensure that it will not happen again to you or to others.
 
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ChandlerFan said:
I both agree and disagree with the photo. I don't think revenge is the right way to go as it won't solve anything or cause the pain to go away. It will more than likely make the pain worse. But I don't think we are called the "understand their situation" as that implies that had they been in a different situation they would have acted differently, which may or may not be true. It sounds like a way to take responsibility for their hurtful actions away from the person.
At the end of the day, they did something hurtful, and it's not up to the one who is hurt to justify the hurtful action. In fact, if all you do is justify the hurtful action, there is no need for forgiveness. I believe the true course to healing is to hold the person responsible for their actions and work to forgive them.
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Personally I find when I understand a person it is much easier to forgive him. One needs to be held accountable for his actions - we are not puppets molded by our circumstances, we are sentient beings who have free will - but I have so far found a way to understand everybody who has hurt me, and with understanding I have been much more able to forgive them.

Now somebody may hurt me in some way tomorrow and I may never be able to understand that person. But so far this has worked well for me.
 
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Lynx said:
Personally I find when I understand a person it is much easier to forgive him. One needs to be held accountable for his actions - we are not puppets molded by our circumstances, we are sentient beings who have free will - but I have so far found a way to understand everybody who has hurt me, and with understanding I have been much more able to forgive them.

Now somebody may hurt me in some way tomorrow and I may never be able to understand that person. But so far this has worked well for me.
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I probably was operating on a slightly different understanding of "understanding" too :P I more meant that it's not up to us to make excuses or apologies for the other person's wrongdoing. It sounds like you are talking about understanding in the sense of how you can see circumstances in a person's life that might have caused them to lash out or do whatever hurtful thing that they did. and that makes sense. I can see how coming from that perspective can aid in forgiving someone. I was referring more to people who don't even get to the point of acknowledging that the other person did something wrong.

Also, this is just an aside, but I feel that I could write a book on why free will does not exist :) However I do not believe that a lack of free will negates a person's responsibility for their actions.
 
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