GreenNnice said:
I've told this story a zillion times so I guess I won't say it here.
But I'll never get the story this way D:
Kayem- Kudos for realizing that sort of relationship is bad news. A friend of mine always goes for the non-Christian as sort of a "project." She doesn't think that anyone will love her unless they *need* her. I also heard from a friend of church that their friend married a Muslim and while they made it work at first, now their children are leaning toward the Muslim faith and her family is falling like sand through her fingers.
It CAN work SOMETIMES to bring someone to Christ and marry them... but like my youth pastor told us. It's like standing on a chair and trying to pull someone up. You're more likely to fall.
Jules(If you don't mind, this is how I "think" your name when I think of you)-- I think you're an angel. My goodness girl, you write such lovely things.
Flight- I think I'm in your shoes right now- at least one shoe in, one shoe out. There isn't anyone who strikes my fancy. No one makes my heart flutter. I haven't been intimate with anyone yet- but I've ran into people I've considered to be sisters but now I just feel... is disconnected the right word? It's like I'm beyond them, I still like them but I'm perfectly content with not seeing much of them.
No probleme, smudgeartiste, I have no problem telling it for the zillion and oneth time
Went to school way back when in 1986 and was only a freshman, learning life away from home, weeee, was attending a 4 year school 4 hours from home, and, don't you dare see me saying you should quit yer c.c., nope, I think , these days especially, getting a solid A.A. and transferring is the way to go, o-lee, now where was I beFORE I golfed unrelated thought into the paragraph? Ah, yes, I was a frosh and went to my morning calculus class at 8 am and there was this girl in my class that brought 'skyrockets in sight, a-a-afternoon delight' song . So, we had that class together and then from 9 to 11 we had another class together. Psyche! We had fun in it too, 2 hours of listening and taking notes, sometimes we sat by each other in this 2 day per week class (calculus was every morn) , sometimes not. No matter, after psyche 101 we always, her and I, then walked to the lunchroom together and we ate lunch together, sometimes by selves, sometimes with others, it was big lunch hall , ya know. So, we did this 'routine' of classes and lunch , eating together psyche class days, for the first month of school, walking and talking, talking and walking, sigh, if I wasn't't in love,cwhat was I?? The 1st week of October I asked her to go back to my place and watch my soccer team play of my high school I was star on 4 years and wanted to date her that way.
She said, 'I don't think that would be such a great idea.'
I said, well, hmm, I can't remember what I said, anyway, that was beginning of our lunch days becoming less and less, especially when in mid-Oct. that she was going to Homecoming dance with my roommate!! I was livid and upset and highly sad all at the same time. But, me, well, I could have asked her, too. Just cuz she didn't want to go on a 4 hour car ride with me she still maybe would've gone to dance with me. Maybe. As the story goes, just maybe you will see why the 'soccer game' ask made things a maybe not.
So, this girl then went to dance with my roommmate and Nov. we didn't eat together lunches at all, she and I from then until after Christmas break did not corresond other than my 'Hey, Renae,' when I saw her, and, no,that's not her real name, but it is close, and, I ryhmed 'hey' with her name's suffix.
So, Jan term is one month where you take one class, which you mighta know smudgeless, because you said you went to a 4 yr. Anyhoo, I will.just say this I was in a dorm that was boys one half, girls the other, and, whoever thought of putting hormonal froshs of both gender in dorm like that was not thinking. I thank God He protected me , that year, and, all years later, in other dorms, like the known party animal's dorm my soph year, but, as I was
saying, I was just going out for a walk in the afternoon out the main doors of our dorm and who would be there but my girl, my girl, oh, ok, not my girl, my wished-for girl was going running.. I thought, 'hey, I'm an athlete, I can do this,' go riñe for a couple miles with her, rekindle what for last 2 months was dying embers.
So, we went running, as we ran, we talked about my parents bitter divorce a year earlier, our fun eating together, etc. etc., and, we just kept running way past 2 miles too...
So, yes, ritt, when you said this girl you liked and hit it off with for one glorious date and time therein your Muse zinged and zanged in prosaic writing, well, yes, I was so-so-sooo into this girl that I found out 45 minutes into running with her she said we had gone about 10 miles!
Let me tell you, I never had run farther than 5 miles my entire life but here I was, by the grace of God, surely, running fast with Renae and end was training for a marathon I founded out too. We taller and taller for 3 miles mire, running, and, then, we stopped. We ran 13 miles in just over an hour, and, I was EXACTLY feeling as when I began running, NOT TIRED AT ALL. I was not even breathing hard and I just ran up and down hilos , all over town, in 6 minute mile pace! I should've NOT been able to have done that run.
Girls. And, that was where I knew I was in love with this girl. So, I am not sure what I did from there, I should have asked her out, I know, but, sigh, I didn't.
And, April , late April , right before school got out and she I saw was with a boy, a sophomore, she I could tell really liked this guy. I just was about to go for summer break and so left , worked, came back in fall, and, she and this guy must have had great summer cuz they were together all, fall, winter, and, I just wrote her off. Then in march I noticed a ting on her right hand, engaged. I really wrote her off then .
However, my roommate my soph. year knew I liked her my frosh year and whatever , but, he told her in April, 'Ed still talks about you.' NOW, why he said that just floored me but he said it, even though I had effectively quit talking about her pretty much my soph year.
Anyway, this rooommate of mine's remarks had an effect. She was a week or two later without the ring. She'd broke up with the guy. Ok, I should shorten this, so, I just wasn't the same feeling toward her anymore.
Junior year , I did my thing and she hers, we didn't have classes at all together so, then I think it was a Saturday night school dance , ones I went to all the time. She was there, I danced with all the young ladies , including one slow dance, with Renae. Song was called, fittingly, 'Is Your Love Strong Enough,' and, it was a slow dance song, liltingly, hypnotically, powerful. She breathed on my neck and we danced, but I was not feeling like her and all it was was one dance.
So, senior year, and, again, she and I no same classes, but I ate at cafeteria one time in April, a few weeks before graduation and she and I talked. It was just like old times
But, only for her, not for me
, we we ate and she said several things, biggest was, and, guys when a girl says this to you SHE REALLY LIKES YOU, 'You're different, Ed,' she said, completely locked on my eyes as she said it. And, I said, 'I don't know' And, she said, 'No, you have changed, older, mature.'
I just let things go that lunch, that last ever lunch together with Renae, seeing her then the next time at graduation.
I saw her and she saw me in the hallway and I said, 'I guess this is it. We're graduates now.'
And, next thing I know she is breaking out into uncontrollable tears and runs away from me in hallway.
I hope and pray this story is OK to tell a zillion and oneth time, I really liked that girl but God did something to make it not be right, and, deep down, I knew it wasn't right my senior year. I was deep in debt and with no job and needed to establish myself and she lived near school and I was four hours away.
I hope, Christ peeps, you have understanding of God in your life , and, ask God to be with you, keep you, find you His perfect for you.
I am still waiting on Him ,came, in meantime, just trying to perfectly grow my faith in Him through obedience to His Word and His leading in my life . It's been up and down all since college, but it's been all good with Him, who has never left nor forsaken me all my life, through my good things done, and, bad, He's always been there. And, good news, He will, I you want Him to, always be there for you, too.
