Ladies: what "guy skills" make him more attractive to you?

[Jullianna]

Whatever happened to the man's spiritual leadership skill in the relationship?

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS UP! We joke around a lot on here, but this is so important. A christian man who will step up and be the priest of a home is truly a treasure. If we don't get the leadership order right, very few things will go right in a relationship. Entire families become dysfunctional without this.

 

[themusicmiss]

as long as he's anything but a cheater =]

 

[DABEARS85]

THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS UP! We joke around a lot on here, but this is so important. A christian man who will step up and be the priest of a home is truly a treasure. If we don't get the leadership order right, very few things will go right in a relationship. Entire families become dysfunctional without this.

True, except most women in the world today refuse to allow the man to be the priest of the home. Women get this feministic self entitlement syndrome where they run everything. Not all women are like that, but quite a few are. At least... the girls in my generation are! I don't really understand it all, because it goes against nature really, but whatever.

I think the reason that all the women on here haven't mentioned the man being the spiritual leader is because they all have that feminism attitude built into them. Women grow up with it really, because that's what they are taught. Its become increasingly harder and harder for a man to be a spiritual leader unless he finds the right girl that is willing to listen basically. If I ever find that girl.. I'll marry her The problem is, its not exactly easy to find her haha

 

[lightbliss]

I didn't mention it because I, for one, expect a man to be a man.

I won't "let" him him be the "leader" as though I have all the say in our relationship or I'm the stronger one. Nor will it be like "Well lets give this a try and if you "mess up," I'm taking over."

With my mom and aunt, regardless of how bad their relationships were, NEVER once did they badmouth men (at least not in front of the youngsters).

I think this helped me have a healthy view on men.

 

[Jennifleur]

Well, that is actually one of the most important traits for me. I've seen the damage it does when a guy isn't the spiritual head of the household. I saw it with my own family, not because my mother is some uber-feminist who must wear the pants in the family, but because my dad never wanted to step up. He wasn't very spiritually mature, and did not have a strong relationship with Christ until recently. He didn't even accept Christ until after they were married. His dad was a dictator in their household and verbally and emotionally abusive, that my dad decided he'd take the opposite track and tried to be "friends" with my brothers instead. He hated disciplining, and would always leave it to my mother. Then, he'd lift punishments, so my brothers not only had no respect for my mother (because, whatever she decided, my dad would change anyway), but they also had no respect for my dad because he never showed the authority he was supposed to exercise. I've seen the damage it has done.

I think it is important for husbands and wives to present a united front, even if they disagree, because kids pick up on that and will play one parent against the other. I know that there will be times, after I marry, that I do not agree with what my husband decides. I expect to talk about things, and be consulted about decisions that have to be made, because I am intelligent and I should be able to voice my opinion. But, yes, final decisions fall to the husband, and, if he's wrong, God will hold him accountable for it. It is a serious position to be in, so I would want to marry someone who does take that position seriously. My well-being and our children's well-being would be in his hands. It's scary to trust someone else that much, but in the end, if you are both committed to Christ, then there is no reason to be afraid. It is easier to respect a man who loves his wife like Christ loves the church, and it easier to love a woman like Christ loves the church when that woman shows respect. But, for either to be possible, Christ has to be at the center of things.

 

[lil-rush]

I think the reason that all the women on here haven't mentioned the man being the spiritual leader is because they all have that feminism attitude built into them. Women grow up with it really, because that's what they are taught. Its become increasingly harder and harder for a man to be a spiritual leader unless he finds the right girl that is willing to listen basically. If I ever find that girl.. I'll marry her The problem is, its not exactly easy to find her haha

Not cool, dude. I'd rather people not say I have feminist characteristics. Granted, there are different types of feminism, but whenever someone says "feminist" that person is generally referring to the liberal, misandrist feminist, which I am not.

My issue is that I don't want a guy who thinks spiritual leader means I have to do whatever he says. I definitely want the man to be the spiritual leader of the home, which is why it is so important to find a Godly man who would make a Godly spiritual leader. Being a spiritual leader does not mean the man can make me do anything he wants, spiritual or otherwise, though. I want a man who is secure enough that he is willing to ask my opinion on things without his masculinity feeling threatened.

 

[Jullianna]

True, except most women in the world today refuse to allow the man to be the priest of the home. Women get this feministic self entitlement syndrome where they run everything. Not all women are like that, but quite a few are. At least... the girls in my generation are! I don't really understand it all, because it goes against nature really, but whatever.

I think the reason that all the women on here haven't mentioned the man being the spiritual leader is because they all have that feminism attitude built into them. Women grow up with it really, because that's what they are taught. Its become increasingly harder and harder for a man to be a spiritual leader unless he finds the right girl that is willing to listen basically. If I ever find that girl.. I'll marry her The problem is, its not exactly easy to find her haha

This is, unfortunately, true in many cases, DABEAR. Seems like we are taught by society as women to want it all...have it all....don't depend on a man for anything (and look where we are). And yet, on some level, I think every woman wants to find a man she can depend upon. I don't mean financially or putting all of her issues on him....I mean knowing that she has a rock to lean on...someone who'll be there holding her hand in the rough times.

I was not the little girl who played Barbies. I didn't want to grow up to be a wife and mother. I was a huge tomboy and wanted a job and a maid.

And then I became a christian... Most people would look at my life and assume that I'm a libber. Womens Lib is a lie from hell. The truth is, I know from experience how wonderful a relationship can be if we do it God's way. If the man is honored in his marriage by his wife, God blesses that man with godly wisdom. The scriptures call for a man to love his wife and that a woman RESPECT her husband.

At some point men and women lost respect for one another... There's something about enjoying being a woman and stepping back sometimes to let your man BE a man... Sure...I can open the door myself...push back my own chair... But if my man wants to show affection toward me in that way... why not let him? Wouldn't I be offended if I made some sort of loving gesture toward him...took him lunch at work...bought him a new shirt or cologne just because....and he just ignored it???

There is something in men that make them naturally protective of women. I've seen it time and time again in law enforcement. Even most civilian men are that way. Women want romance sometimes without realizing that letting your man be MANLY and do those things IS romantic to him.

People wonder sometimes why so many relationships fail. I think it's because of a lack of true intimacy in relationships. The kind that comes from knowing that the one you're with loves you enough to step back sometimes and just let you be yourself, without being laughed at, etc.

Yes,, there are those of us who CAN buy their own diamonds.....but diamonds are just shiny rocks after all.... they don't keep your heart warm

 

[Jullianna]

Not cool, dude. I'd rather people not say I have feminist characteristics. Granted, there are different types of feminism, but whenever someone says "feminist" that person is generally referring to the liberal, misandrist feminist, which I am not.

My issue is that I don't want a guy who thinks spiritual leader means I have to do whatever he says. I definitely want the man to be the spiritual leader of the home, which is why it is so important to find a Godly man who would make a Godly spiritual leader. Being a spiritual leader does not mean the man can make me do anything he wants, spiritual or otherwise, though. I want a man who is secure enough that he is willing to ask my opinion on things without his masculinity feeling threatened.

A man who thinks that being a spiritual leader means you have to do whatever he says does not cherish you like Christ does the church, as the scriptures require him to do.

 

[lil-rush]

A man who thinks that being a spiritual leader means you have to do whatever he says does not cherish you like Christ does the church, as the scriptures require him to do.

This is true. Very good point.

 

[Jullianna]

The mom of a girl my teen son dated told me that her daughter came home from the first date with him and said she finally knew what it was like to be treated like a lady. It really touched my heart because, even though we lost his dad when he was only 12 years old, he'd already learned why his home life had been different than the stress filled homes of his friends.

We need to mirror our relationship with Jesus in our relationships with one another. Most ppl will tell you that I'm a strong woman in every way, but I know what can be gained by accepting the loving gestures of a partner with poise and grace. To put it bluntly, if you want your man to be a gentleman, respond accordingly. If you want your lady to BE a lady, treat her like one. If you want to be treated like a lady, act like one. If you want the respect and love of your lady, man up and mirror Christ toward her. Learn what it means to cherish..

 

[Jullianna]

Wow...was I on my soapbox or what???!!! lol Zero, you may have to start a soapbox anonymous too

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Im attracted to a man that doesnt breathe really heavy. Especially in the car. How can you drive when his hot breath is foggin up the windows.

 

[NukePooch]

Im attracted to a man that doesnt breathe really heavy. Especially in the car. How can you drive when his hot breath is foggin up the windows.

Again, allow me to come to your rescue...it also works for halitosis.

 

[ecclesiastes]

i love the rough looking man. stubble, a goatie, you can imagine the one with the guitar busking with his dog next to him. fwoarrgh

 

[ecclesiastes]

p.s. i threatened to ditch my fella if he shaves off his goatie n stubble hahaha

 

[alwaysunsure]

The best guy skill in my opinion is to think wait I mean know your hot and how to give a compliment

 

[SpySat1]

What skills would make a guy more attractive to you?

He needs to be able to protect the family from a bear attack. It's all about killing bears. (I'm serious.)

 

[Jullianna]

He needs to be able to protect the family from a bear attack. It's all about killing bears. (I'm serious.)

*swoon* Finallly, the bear killer of my dreams...

 

[seoulsearch]

*swoon* Finallly, the bear killer of my dreams...

Having a good bear-killer in your midst makes the family picnics go much smoother... but wait, what if Uncle Jeremy IS the bear? (And has enough hair to pass for one...)

 

[Jennifleur]

Just so long as he then takes the bear skin and makes it into a rug to display at home, so everyone can see just how skilled he is.