Hey Absolem,
From the few details you've told us, I would say, definitely proceed with caution, if even at all. What have your Christian mentors advised you concerning this girl?
Being single in the Christian community can definitely be confusing. I was 25 when my husband left for his girlfriend, and a myriad of well-meaning, but honestly, probably clueless church members told me all kinds of "prophecies" about me getting remarried in a few years and having children. Even a family member told me this. I clung on to every "word" they gave me because it was all I had, and exactly what I wanted to hear. In the end, it did more damage than if they'd never said anything at all.
As you can see, none of their "words from the Lord" have happened, and it's been almost 20 years. Now, I know everyone will immediately shout, "But what about Sarah and Abraham and Isaac!" but the thing is, around age 38 I came to a tentative peace over not having children and that's what I'm holding onto, unless the Lord drastically changes my heart. Do I believe God COULD give me a family? Absolutely! But it is really what I'm seeking at this point in my life? No, not at all. While I would like to get remarried, I have no desire to have children anymore (which is a big reason as to why I'm single; I meet many men in their 40's who want to start families or have more children.)
The tough part is that we singles want to obey the Lord (and if He says He has someone for us, boy do we ever want to be ready!), but how do we know if these "words", dreams, or "prophecies" are really from the Lord? I've talked to many people over the years and while I'm certainly no expert, I know of some who said their spouse was what they prayed for when they met them, but I don't know of anyone who was told specifically who their spouse would be (or what they would look like.) It doesn't mean that doesn't happen (which makes it all the more confusing), but I've also heard pastors say to always be wary (and generally doubtful) of any "prophecies" or predictions concerning marriage or babies, because our hearts tend to deceive us. With such high emotional stakes at hand, we lean towards hearing what we want to believe, and not necessarily what God is saying to us.
And then I always point out to my mentors that God was very specific to the mothers of Samson, John the Baptist, and Jesus (telling them they would have babies and, in the case of Jesus and John, even commanded them what to name them)... They in turn don't know how to reply to that, and so it's like I've landed back at Square One.
Your post reminds of me 3 specific cases I've seen over about 15 years:
1. A woman who prayed that if a certain man remained in her life, she would know it was God's will to marry him, even though she saw all the warning signs long beforehand. She prayed that if he left, she'd know not to marry him. But the man would not leave her alone, and so she wound up marrying him--resulting in years of terrible abuse and eventually, a bitter divorce.
2. A man who was such a terrible alcoholic that his own father told the man's 16-year-old girlfriend to get away from him as soon as possible. But this girl insisted that God told her that he was going to be great man of God someday, and married him when she was 19. After decades of putting up with his alcoholism, suicide attempts, nearly going broke because of his addictions, etc., he finally did turn to God. But it took multiple suicide attempts, separations, failures at rehab, and, about 40 years in the meantime. Was it really God telling this young girl to marry this man? I don't have the answer.
3. A girl I knew a while back insisted that God had told her she was going to marry a tall man with dark skin; dark, curly hair; and a certain color of eyes. She was a wonderful, sincere Christian girl who wanted to obey God so much that she would reject any other potential suitors (which makes one wonder... how dark is "dark"? Does wavy hair count, or would it have to be Afro-like curly? And how tall is "tall"? What if the guy was an inch shorter than God's supposed designation? How would she know?)
If any guy asked her out who was light-skinned, had straight hair, or a different eye color, she immediately (but politely) declined, saying that she was waiting on the man the Lord had chosen for her and was going to send her.
Ten years later, she's still waiting. And, as far as I know, she no longer adheres to those supposed guidelines she was once so sure were from the Lord.
I myself am thinking, "What if God told my future husband that he was going to marry a girl with straight, black hair?" I'd be in a lot of trouble because while my natural hair texture IS straight, I NEVER wear it that way. I always have it wavy or curly, AND, at times, have also dyed it red. My poor future husband wouldn't know who I am according to this description that is supposedly "from the Lord." Wow--nothing like the added anxiety that I might miss him because I'm wearing my hair the wrong way!
I could be wrong (and I'm eager to see what other posters have to add to your thread), but my general conclusion is, God gives us common sense.
If something doesn't seem right about this girl or this situation, it's probably not, and all the things you thought God told you... Just might not have been God.
Believe me, I've been there.
My best suggestion to you would be to rely on your group of Christian mentors and pastors. Have them keep you close in prayer and heart, and be open to their feedback.
From what you've said, I would highly doubt this girl is for you (or, at the very least, the timing isn't right), but of course, I'm not God, so I can't truly know. However, I've talked to many people who felll into traps like this while "trying to follow the Lord", and the result was usually misery, disaster, and often, divorce. (Imagine the complications if children are involved.)
Best wishes to you, and please keep us updated on how it goes.
