Let's discuss deal breakers

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Edith

Edith

Active member
#1
Apr 21, 2025
213
83
28
#1
After witnessing first hand an ugly marriage from my parents, and my self haven gone through some failed relationships. I unconsciously developed some deal breakers in relationship. I get to notice them right away. I don't like people always complaining about one thing or the other, I don't like it when a person does not tell their feelings and leaves you guessing, I don't like people doing hot and cold, one moment you feel they are in and the other moment you are not so sure. I don't like laziness and finally I don't like it when someone doesn't take Christ seriously.
when I notice any of these I stay as far away as possible.
am I exaggerating?
what are your deal breakers in a relationship
 
Tall_Timbers

Tall_Timbers

Well-known member
#2
Mar 31, 2023
1,670
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Cheyenne WY
christiancommunityforum.com
#2
All of us are normally on our best possible behavior as we're getting to know someone. After enough time has passed, that might get a little harder to maintain. Dating someone for a couple of years is a pretty safe amount of time to really get to know a person.

If you notice they are sometimes short or mean with restaurant help or others you come into contact with or make negative comments about those workers behind their backs, take that as a warning. Remember you're seeing them at their best and you might want to end the relationship, otherwise you'll someday find yourself the target of that meanness.

Are they dabbling in any of the vices? Keep your eyes wide open...

When an obvious opportunity provides itself to offer someone assistance, do they step up or stay back?

Do they spend time with Jesus? Do the two of you share Jesus with each other? If not, move on.

Are they in debt? Carrying credit on their cards v.s. paying them off each month? Are they saving for a rainy day? Poor financial habits can lead to many problems and much suffering. Best not to saddle yourself with someone who can't manage what they have and live within their means.
 
Elizabeth35

Elizabeth35

Member
#3
Apr 18, 2025
56
52
18
#3
Pride is a major deal breaker for me. Someone who thinks they know everything, thinks they are better than others and judges everyone by their own self-righteous standard, and tries to control and manipulate people is a person I don't want a relationship with. I've noticed that pride often grows out of unhealed trauma and insecurity, but that isn't an excuse to treat people like trash. I have compassion for someone who's hurting but that doesn't mean I get to be their punching bag.

Of course I have other deal breakers, but this is definitely at the top of the list right under not being a Christian.
 
Edith

Edith

Active member
#4
Apr 21, 2025
213
83
28
#4
Tall_Timbers said:
All of us are normally on our best possible behavior as we're getting to know someone. After enough time has passed, that might get a little harder to maintain. Dating someone for a couple of years is a pretty safe amount of time to really get to know a person.

If you notice they are sometimes short or mean with restaurant help or others you come into contact with or make negative comments about those workers behind their backs, take that as a warning. Remember you're seeing them at their best and you might want to end the relationship, otherwise you'll someday find yourself the target of that meanness.

Are they dabbling in any of the vices? Keep your eyes wide open...

When an obvious opportunity provides itself to offer someone assistance, do they step up or stay back?

Do they spend time with Jesus? Do the two of you share Jesus with each other? If not, move on.

Are they in debt? Carrying credit on their cards v.s. paying them off each month? Are they saving for a rainy day? Poor financial habits can lead to many problems and much suffering. Best not to saddle yourself with someone who can't manage what they have and live within their means.
Click to expand...
Thank you. so much wisdom with a touch of Deja-vu
 
Edith

Edith

Active member
#5
Apr 21, 2025
213
83
28
#5
Elizabeth35 said:
Pride is a major deal breaker for me. Someone who thinks they know everything, thinks they are better than others and judges everyone by their own self-righteous standard, and tries to control and manipulate people is a person I don't want a relationship with. I've noticed that pride often grows out of unhealed trauma and insecurity, but that isn't an excuse to treat people like trash. I have compassion for someone who's hurting but that doesn't mean I get to be their punching bag.

Of course I have other deal breakers, but this is definitely at the top of the list right under not being a Christian.
Click to expand...
Great! I have never really thought of it. you open my eyes to it. Imagine someone who belittles me 🤔 I will not stand a day.
thank you dear
 
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