I don't want to lose my faith, but I'm tired of fighting my own logic all the time.. Don't really know what to do about it, except praying, which I am. -> and so far, nothing.
There are times when you're looking for God but He doesn't show Himself to you right away because of the way you're doing it. You're looking for God on your terms, not His. So He doesn't show Himself to you until you either a) stop looking or b) look for Him on His terms. In other words, you won't find God but He will find you (on His terms and at His time schedule).
I can't answer your other questions but I can give you something to think about that might help you figure out the answers to some of the questions.
You know, when little kids do something wrong, the common/average parent will get their child to apologize and say sorry. When they're told to do that, most kids hesitate. They may squirm, say no and give the parent a mischievous smile - you know, that sweet puppy-eyed face and hope to get away with it. Some may hide behind their parents' legs and so forth. At the end of the day, it's safe to say that they don't want to apologize and to acknowledge their wrong behaviour. We look at that and smile at their innocence. The truth is, adults are the same except adults simply ignore one another. We don't like admitting that we're wrong. It's truly an unpleasant experience! It can also be embarrassing especially if you're also asking for forgiveness! So we ignore the issue and both parties just ignore one another.
There's a religion that says in order to gain eternal salvation, you must admit that you're wrong, you've done wrong, you're doing wrong, and that you will do wrong (i.e. admit that you're a sinner). Then, you need to ask for forgiveness. Finally, in order to gain salvation, you're required to ask this invisible person to atone for your wrongdoings (sin). You can't see this person, you can't hear this person, you can't touch this person, you can't smell this person - in fact, this person died and was resurrected! How incredulous! No only that, it is commanded that you profess that you did all these things in public and usually that's in front of a bunch of strangers AND familiar people! This religion does not permit you to gain salvation through doing good works or deeds. The only way to gain salvation is to do all the above. It is embarrassing and humiliating!
When you look at the world religions, only one stands out and requires you to do anything remotely similar to what I just described. You know which one that is; it's Christianity. The Christian faith is the only one that requires total and complete humility that changes dependence on oneself (such as doing good works/deeds to gain salvation) to dependence on Jesus (asking Jesus for salvation). That is Christianity - all the other stuff, that's something else. At the basis of Christianity, this is it. It is the foundation upon which everything else is built.
I hope that gives you a better explanation of the Christian faith.