Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

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Kim82

Guest
#201
#201
All this talk about wedding and food...I really wish someone would invite me to a wedding. I've never been to a wedding before.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#203
Apr 1, 2014
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#203
To be fair, the way that people treat marriage now it can definitely be focused on the wedding and not the actual marriage. I know of many people who “love marriage” to the point they have it done constantly and then divorce the second things go south. It becomes a kind of pageantry.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#204
Apr 1, 2014
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#204
Kim82 said:
All this talk about wedding and food...I really wish someone would invite me to a wedding. I've never been to a wedding before.
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RIGHT?! Even if you knew the wedding was gonna take longer to plan than the relationship was gonna last, I’d be tempted to go if they had a good spread.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#205
Dec 15, 2018
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#205
lol

well chinese weddings they traditonally have a huge banquet, all my aunties and uncles had them. for those its usually at least Twelve course meal! But when one of my friends sons married a chinese daughter in laws, they did not have a chinese banquet, they had a western style buffet dinner instead. I guess same amount of food, but you cant eat all,that at once.

witth virus going round, its best not to have a wedding reception as one notorous wedding party everyone got sick, and even the bride and groom, and the father of the groom died...so I think its best to be safe and alive then spreading virus around at present.

most parents have spent what would have been set aside for a wedding or trousseau on their daughters or sons college education unless they are the very few who are obscenely wealthy.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#206
Dec 15, 2018
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#206
some parents think an education is a worthier investment than a wedding.
But i wonder how much of it is either or, because to spend on both would break most families budgets.

I am not assuming that people here are all trust fund kids that have their inheritance on tap.
 
chanchuinchoy

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
#207
Nov 26, 2015
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#207
Lanolin said:
I often come across couples who arent married but just live together, and they might be together for many years, even have children and buy a house together. But they just arent married. And when I ask why, the most common reason given is its too expensive to get married.

Is it really?

And sometimes its even christian believers who say this.

So how are we to think of marriage is it only for the rich? Only if the hsuband is willing to provide for his household, what does this say about people who dont marry yet live like they are married. They are too poor? Can weddings be cheaper or why not just register at an office. Or does it all need to be done in church. Why is it so expensive? People say they'd rather spend the money on a house. But what does that say about priorities? Have a wedding, be married and be homeless, or not marry and have a roof over your head. Can one have both?
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My wedding cost me Ringgit Malaysia Thirty Thousand 18 years ago. This included church admin fee, flowers, wedding gown, buffet luncheon at church terrace, and chinese menu dinner for 6 tables of 10 each.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#208
Dec 15, 2018
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#208
chanchuinchoy said:
My wedding cost me Ringgit Malaysia Thirty Thousand 18 years ago. This included church admin fee, flowers, wedding gown, buffet luncheon at church terrace, and chinese menu dinner for 6 tables of 10 each.
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wow sounds like a lot.
did your family pay, or both?

I was thinking for those that cant afford much that it would be good to do mass weddings i.e people all get married at once. If you were friends with another couple who wanted to marry the same day you could combine the wedding...?
 
chanchuinchoy

chanchuinchoy

Senior Member
#209
Nov 26, 2015
336
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Sungei Buloh, Selangor, Malaysia
#209
Lanolin said:
wow sounds like a lot.
did your family pay, or both?

I was thinking for those that cant afford much that it would be good to do mass weddings i.e people all get married at once. If you were friends with another couple who wanted to marry the same day you could combine the wedding...?
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For Chinese we seldom do it because normally, the relatives and friends will give money as a gift at reception. So confuse might arisen and no face for the bridegroom and family as well. Chinese regards their face as the mos valuable sometimes even more valuable than their own life)
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#210
Dec 15, 2018
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#210
yea I suppose it would be a burden on guests to have two couples to give wedding gifts to instead of one.
 
Blade

Blade

Well-known member
#211
Nov 19, 2019
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#211
Well in that moment.. money is on your mind but.. you will do anything to be with the other. For us.. my wife is Chinese.. 1st gen (she was born here). She does not think of her self as Chinese lol. Anyway.. her parents gave her $1000 to get married. Her brother? $10,000. Yeah.. as some know BOYS are more important.

A piece of paper is what man want so see. So we do it. What ever you want .. do that. Some like it extravagant
(You were a lover before time's beginning, You gave Your love freely withholding nothing, Jesus, my Jesus )

Some like it simple.. its for me.. all about what she wanted :)
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#212
Dec 15, 2018
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#212
huh I would be lucky to get anything.
But thats ok Im not marrying anybody so it doesnt matter.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#216
Dec 15, 2018
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#216
er wife and husband are not interchangable roles I dont think....

I thought males are husbands and females are wives. Unless you think females can be husbands and males can be wives....?!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#217
Dec 15, 2018
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#217
Thats would be interrsting news to me....but I dont believe men can give birth. They can try....but I dont think it will work somehow.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#219
Dec 15, 2018
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#219
you said wife
now you changing it to partner, but what are you talking about Im not getting married or paying anyone to marry me. I dont think my parents would pay me to get married is what I meant as they already paid for four childrens tertiary education which is enough to break anyones bank.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#220
Dec 15, 2018
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#220
I think ppl are allowed to have weddings now but keep it to ten guests max.
Just remmember the virus is still around and the worst cases of peoole getting sick (and dying) have been at weddings.
 
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