Marry a foreigner?

[Buff_Old_Guy]

I have a aquaintance that married a lady from another country. he went to that country for the sole purpose of finding a wife. He did. He married a very nice lady that treats hime very well, and he treats her well. They have been married for several years now and both are very happy. They met and married and are very much in love. He says she is a wonderful wife and she says she is very happy as well.

I know another man that met a lady while on a mission trip. After he came home, she came to the U.S. and they were married. Both love each and are very happy as well.

I asked these men why didn't they marry someone from the U.S.The answer I got from both was very much the same answer. They both told me that women from foreign countries apperciate men more and don't ssem to have the preconceptions that cloud thier ideals. They are not femenistic and want to be married and take care of thier husbands. Neither of these men know each other. Both of these men very much love thier wives with all thier hearts and Love the Lord very much.

I don't know how I feel about this. I have experienced the thought processes that these men described in American women. They both admit and clearly state that not all American women are this way but believe they are few and far between that are not, especially over 25 years old.

I am a traditionalist.

I believe in falling in love and gettign married, as I have done. My first wife and the mother of my kids has passed away.

Am I better off here or looking in another land.

I know this will contraversial but please don't hate. I am curious.

Tell me what you think. I am interested to know how others feel.

Hi, I think this is terrible because judging someone by appearance(race) is not reliable and not true. And I think that's why God said this...

John 7:24

Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.

I think we should rely more on just God's holy spirit inside American women to work in them if something is sinful in their lives. In other words, instead of relying on our on strength by saying look it seems foreign women have what I want. Instead of trying to solve this problem all by ourselves, we should look to God to lead this. In prayer and just making sure we marry Christian American women. Atleast make sure God is in all this, somehow, with prayers or look up scripture to focus on for your decisions. For the reason to include God in it and lead it.

Don't look for foreign women, look for God.

Here's a verse for a lot of other topics...including this one.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

In prayer give it up too...say God,your will, and even if I never get married. It's fine as long as its your will. Give up marriage to God and let be in Gods hands.

 

[Jullianna]

Well I know this might sound offensive, but I think that american women in general are brought up to believe that they should either be treated like princesses or to believe that they can do anything better than a man. I believe that foreign women in general were brought up with a focus on becoming a good wife and mother.

Flame suit on..

Yep, it’s offensive. Especially knowing that those who have frequented this particular forum should be familiar with some of the incredible sacrifices and heartaches some of the loving christian ladies of this forum HAVE experienced in putting their homes and families first over the years.

To generalize American women in this way would be like a woman of this forum saying that all American men are abusers who don’t know how to treat a woman just because many are. I think godly American men would find such a false witness highly offensive, don’t you?


The men get a "you are awesome" thread. We get smacked around just because of our citizenship. Way to encourage godly women...

 

[Indubitably]

Jullianna, you are right , of course. But it's also offensve to some of us guys who believe in American (Christian) women who love Jesus and are doing things the right way. This started out as a cute topic and was fun to explore. As I read some of these posts now, I am sometimes ashamed that my nickname is in blue. But those are Not my views. Guys, show some dignity and respect. A bit of sensitivity might even be very refreshing.

In another earlier post I stated that women as well as men who have been changed by the love of Jesus and sold out to His ways, are awesome and maybe we need to take another look at ourselves and try to see what God still needs to change... then obey and change it.. with God's help!

Ladies, we will never be perfect, but some of us are striving to be examples of Christ's love for the Church!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yep, it’s offensive. Especially knowing that those who have frequented this particular forum should be familiar with some of the incredible sacrifices and heartaches some of the loving christian ladies of this forum HAVE experienced in putting their homes and families first over the years.

To generalize American women in this way would be like a woman of this forum saying that all American men are abusers who don’t know how to treat a woman just because many are. I think godly American men would find such a false witness highly offensive, don’t you?


The men get a "you are awesome" thread. We get smacked around just because of our citizenship. Way to encourage godly women...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think its fair to say that most american women aim for a big beautiful house, a nice car or SUV, a wardrobe full of designer clothes and shoes, a lucrative professional career, etc.. While women from foreign countries prefer a simpler life and put more emphasis on old-fashioned values like being sweet, kindhearted, demure, graceful, etc.. I'm not saying that american women aren't sweet, etc..., I'm saying that their focus is more about achieving the american dream while foreign women are more focused on inner beauty and being happy with little material wealth.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Oh and I don't really believe that I am one of the guys that the OP had in mind when she started the 'guys in here are awesome' thread. I know I'm not awesome and would never claim to be and I'm sure people don't see me that way either. That's why I said I want to be Johnny Depp in my next life. Then I would be awesome.

 

[Jullianna]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think its fair to say that most american women aim for a big beautiful house, a nice car or SUV, a wardrobe full of designer clothes and shoes, a lucrative professional career, etc.. While women from foreign countries prefer a simpler life and put more emphasis on old-fashioned values like being sweet, kindhearted, demure, graceful, etc.. I'm not saying that american women aren't sweet, etc..., I'm saying that their focus is more about achieving the american dream while foreign women are more focused on inner beauty and being happy with little material wealth.

How many of us WORK our behinds off to EARN that dream rather than MARRY for it?

You're right about individual women not being the target of this thread. American women have all been lumped together. THAT's exactly the offensive part.


But then, hey...when I've come home from working 36 hours straight from being shot at, punched, had my hair pulled, spit on, called every name in the book, cleaning pee/vomit out of my patrol car to take a 2-3 hour nap so I can get up, take care of my son, clean my house, do my laundry, wash my car, mow the lawn and have dinner on the table, go to night classes, and repeat the process day after day, year after year, the first thing I think to myself is ..yep...I'm quite the little princess....


Maybe after a nap I can be a little sweeter...

 

[seoulsearch]

I'm sorry to derail the thread a bit... Zero, you know I highly respect you and think you are a great guy but I do have to toss in a quarter's worth of thoughts.

I think people are people... Good and bad in every bunch. I would have to disagree with you though about foreign women necessarily being less materialistic. In fact, a lot of women here dedicate their lives to charity and missions work, while many women in poorer countries (and their families) have a goal of "snagging" an American man for material gain.

My ex-father in law worked on US military bases all his life around the world and saw many instances in which American men were sought after in order to provide for them, their families, and the glamorous lifestyle they craved. He was a victim of this as well. His foreign wife spent every penny he made on "life in the fast lane". She had grown up poor her whole life and now that she had a "rich American husband", she insisted on not working, eating out all the time, having maids, closetsful of clothes, and personal appointments with hairdressers, manicures, etc. and so forth who came to their house (why should she go out when she could pay them to come to her--she had a husband with money--was her reasoning.) She would scold my ex, her son, when he ordered simple dishes in restaurants: "We are not poor. You are not going to order peasant food."

My ex-father-in-law encouraged his kids' dreams, telling them to choose a good college to go to someday. But when the day came, all the money had already been spent. They were on their own.

I've seen a good friend of mine fall victim to this as well with a woman from yet a different country.

Of course, not all foreign women are like this. I have a dear sister-in-law who is smart, hardworking, loyal, and loves my brother immensely. As I said, there are good and bad in every bunch. But I think many men actually do naively assume that they're going to find a "non-princess" princess very easily outside the USA, which may or may not be true.

Don't go into it blindly, is my only advice. And, as I wrote before, I would also advise any man looking into this option to please not seek out a woman under the statement of wanting traditional family values unless you can also provide a way for her to see her family on a regular basis. Just my opinion from some very close-to-home experiences.

 

[seoulsearch]

I apologize for the double post... But wanted to add one more thing.

Something else my father-in-law saw over and over again was American men kicking their wives and original families to the curb for a much younger foreign wife. He knew this pattern very well because he was a teacher and the children of these new marriages were his students.

I know the Christian men here are certainly not talking about dumping their wives for a foreign woman... But I find it ironic that so many men believe foreign women have "traditional family values" when, in many cases, the poor countries where they think they can supposedly find these, non-materialistic women can also include a value of breaking up an existing marriage in order to secure a financial future for themselves and their families.

Again, this is just my own observation. I know of two successful marriages of American/other country spouse, but from what I've seen, it's definitely not the norm among those types of relationships.

 

[Liamson]

What I don't want....

This is what I'm trying to avoid...

Nope.... not even a little bit.

I'm hoping that whoever I'm with isn't going to fly off the chain when I want to live somewhere like this...

 

[seoulsearch]

^^^ LOL, Liamson.

Awesome post!! Sometimes a picture (or four) really is worth more than a thousand words!

 

[violakat]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think its fair to say that most american women aim for a big beautiful house, a nice car or SUV, a wardrobe full of designer clothes and shoes, a lucrative professional career, etc.. While women from foreign countries prefer a simpler life and put more emphasis on old-fashioned values like being sweet, kindhearted, demure, graceful, etc.. I'm not saying that american women aren't sweet, etc..., I'm saying that their focus is more about achieving the american dream while foreign women are more focused on inner beauty and being happy with little material wealth.

Fine, I'll correct you. Most women I know think of that as icing on the cake. Yes, there are a few that are like that. And unfortunately, media likes to make it seem like we are all that way. But then, the media likes to portray all men as power hungry womanizers. Yet, do you think all men are like that or just a few?

 

[violakat]

What I don't want....

This is what I'm trying to avoid...

Nope.... not even a little bit.

I'm hoping that whoever I'm with isn't going to fly off the chain when I want to live somewhere like this...

Liam, have you been digging into my pinterest account again?

 

[dru]

Well I know this might sound offensive, but I think that american women in general are brought up to believe that they should either be treated like princesses or to believe that they can do anything better than a man. I believe that foreign women in general were brought up with a focus on becoming a good wife and mother.

Flame suit on..

American women are great(in cc) i will probably (if i get married) fall for a kenyan girl, 99.9% chance,anyway the flame suit part got me laughing so hard...

 

[zeroturbulence]

How many of us WORK our behinds off to EARN that dream rather than MARRY for it?

You're right about individual women not being the target of this thread. American women have all been lumped together. THAT's exactly the offensive part.


But then, hey...when I've come home from working 36 hours straight from being shot at, punched, had my hair pulled, spit on, called every name in the book, cleaning pee/vomit out of my patrol car to take a 2-3 hour nap so I can get up, take care of my son, clean my house, do my laundry, wash my car, mow the lawn and have dinner on the table, go to night classes, and repeat the process day after day, year after year, the first thing I think to myself is ..yep...I'm quite the little princess....


Maybe after a nap I can be a little sweeter...

I honestly have tons of respect for you, Dianna. I wasn't trying to make you or anyone else in here feel like they don't somehow measure up or anything like that. By generalizing, I am talking about most, not all. Certainly I don't think the women in here are just looking for a big house and material things, but look at america's society as a whole. I didn't come up with this concept on my own. I used to listen to a very popular female psychotherapist who counseled people on relationships everyday and is a best selling author and she is the one who said that american women suffer from what she calls cinderella syndrome. Yes, I am blaming this on a woman!

Don't get me wrong, I totally LOVE american women! American women have always starred in all of my dreams. They're the salt of the world of red-blooded american males! I was just trying to illustrate the contrast that I think there is between american women and foreign women. They're just different. Sorry I offended you.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Fine, I'll correct you. Most women I know think of that as icing on the cake. Yes, there are a few that are like that. And unfortunately, media likes to make it seem like we are all that way. But then, the media likes to portray all men as power hungry womanizers. Yet, do you think all men are like that or just a few?

Well, since you asked, and since I need to suck up a bit in here I will give you my GENERAL opinion of men, not just american men...as far as I can tell men are GENERALLY about the same no matter where they are from, except maybe alaskan men..

Ok, I think men don't like hygeine much, they are territorial when it comes to other men, possessive of their things (hate to share), clingy, obsessive and jealous in relationships, easily mainupulated by women ( that includes ME!), and basically self-absorbed, stubborn, egotistical and immature.

So there. Are we even now?

 

[zeroturbulence]

There's also a good chance that I may have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. Maybe that's a good thing?

 

[Jullianna]

I honestly have tons of respect for you, Dianna. I wasn't trying to make you or anyone else in here feel like they don't somehow measure up or anything like that. By generalizing, I am talking about most, not all. Certainly I don't think the women in here are just looking for a big house and material things, but look at america's society as a whole. I didn't come up with this concept on my own. I used to listen to a very popular female psychotherapist who counseled people on relationships everyday and is a best selling author and she is the one who said that american women suffer from what she calls cinderella syndrome. Yes, I am blaming this on a woman!

Don't get me wrong, I totally LOVE american women! American women have always starred in all of my dreams. They're the salt of the world of red-blooded american males! I was just trying to illustrate the contrast that I think there is between american women and foreign women. They're just different. Sorry I offended you.

I absolutely believe that you don't intend to insult me, personally; but the rest of this absolutely boggles my mind.

Please remember that I have lived in several other countries and grew up on military bases where it is common practice for American military personnel to marry foreign women. Not all of those differences are good, as Kim pointed out above.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I absolutely believe that you don't intend to insult me, personally; but the rest of this absolutely boggles my mind.

Please remember that I have lived in several other countries and grew up on military bases where it is common practice for American military personnel to marry foreign women. Not all of those differences are good, as Kim pointed out above.

You're right. I was just speaking from my own very limited knowledge and experience with foreign women here in the US, but I'm going to shut up now before I do this again...

 

[Jullianna]

THIS HORSIE STUFF HAS GOTTA BE THE UGLIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN

IF YOU PUT A CRYSTAL CANDY DISH FULL OF THOSE NASTY ORANGE MARSHMALLOW PEANUT SHAPED CANDIES ON THE COFFEE TABLE, THIS WOULD BE MY GRAMMA'S HOUSE FROM THE 80s:

IF YOU UPHOLSTERED THOSE SOFAS WITH BROWN MICROSUEDE AND ADDED A CHERRY WOOD FLOOR, IT WOULD LOOK A WHOLE LOT LIKE THE MEDIA ROOM AT MY HOUSE, EXCEPT MY CELTICS CHAMPIONSHIPS BANNER, STAR WARS/INDY COLTS/UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE/CINCY REDS POSTERS/ETC. AND STAR WARS/STAR TREK BOBBLEHEADS ARE MISSING :

 

[Jullianna]

You're right. I was just speaking from my own very limited knowledge and experience with foreign women here in the US, but I'm going to shut up now before I do this again...

HAHAHAHA! Cute pic

Why does this sound a whole lot like "Yes, Dear" in my brain? Just messin with ya!