Midnight Confessions

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I...have not as much of a hold on my life as I would like to believe, and as I tell everyone.
I am just numb, so I don't have to feel lost, to hide the pain, the anguish, sometimes I wish I had less self-control, so I could scream.
There are mornings that I wake up numb too and ask God "What exactly is the point?' He tells me that I am here to serve. So, I serve. Or at least try.

I have had my fill of pain and anguish. I will say a prayer for the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide you on your walk. Sometimes it can be a lonely journey for sure.
 
Been a while since I posted anything and just snuck in here to take a look today. I am Tourist's wife and want to share the reason I hate smoking so much.

I found my mother dead at the age of 8 she was only 42 years old and had a massive heart attack. The doctor had told her Rachel if you don't stop smoking you are not going to be able to raise that little girl, she didn't listen. At 8 I couldn't understand why mommy wouldn't move when I tried to wake her and ran to my dad's room saying daddy mommy won't move. I was so scared and crying.

Four years later my father died with lung cancer again the cause was smoking.

My uncle Bob died from a lung bursting, cause smoking.

My brother Bill died the same way mom died massive heart attack mostly caused by smoking the tragedy here is he was only 39.

There are more, but you can see that people I love have been taken from me by their choice of smoking and I just don't want to loose anyone else I love to that filthy habit, because it KILLS. I have cried too many tears over the loss of my loved ones to a cigarette.
 
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That is rough to hear that.
Yea smoking kills. But I've walked a busy road when I didn't have a car, and there's.a possibilty that I'll have lung cancer from breathing in car fumes. Oh and theirs a crematorium just up the road. So who knows what I've been breathing when I go outside.

My confession is, after losing so many church members to cancer, is that I hate going to funerals. I hate that nowadays people are burned up instead of buried, because there is no more room in the graveyards or they are too expensive.

When my mum died and family members planned her funeral, I had to pretend to be happy. I saw her body go into the furnace. She didn't care as her spirit had left by the time her body gave up, but it was still traumatic to witness. I was given no choice, I had to attend. I am sad.

We have her ashes, well, my brothers/sister have them. But to me they are nothing but dust and we haven't buried them.
 
At midnight am fast asleep but I wake up at 3am and then confess. Sorry I'm late God. Also, I expect God to read everything I write because, I can't talk for that long.
 
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At midnight am fast asleep but I wake up at 3am and then confess. Sorry I'm late God. Also, I expect God to read everything I write because, I can't talk for that long.
My problem is not being late but rather being early. Actually, God does read everything that you write. Doesn't miss a word either. On workdays I usually wake up at 2am.
 
My problem is not being late but rather being early. Actually, God does read everything that you write. Doesn't miss a word either. On workdays I usually wake up at 2am.
It's Saturday and I'm awake at 6:12am and it's still dark. I can do nothing but go on CC because I don't want to wake my Dad if I start doing things.
I suppose I could just read a book, but I've got too much inside of me that needs to be let out. Also it's a comfort that other people may be going through the same things, so I don't feel too alone.
 
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It's Saturday and I'm awake at 6:12am and it's still dark. I can do nothing but go on CC because I don't want to wake my Dad if I start doing things.
I suppose I could just read a book, but I've got too much inside of me that needs to be let out. Also it's a comfort that other people may be going through the same things, so I don't feel too alone.
On one of my day's off, Saturday, I sleep in to about 4:30 am and want to start doing some household chores. Thing is that my wife gets up much later so I have to be careful to be as quiet as I can. At that time of the morning, it is just me and my two cats, Tango and Sugar. They tend to get underfoot but I do enjoy their company.
 
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I don't even know how I found this page. My husband past away 2 years ago. I have been a Christian for 35 years and had an incredible conversion. Now I'm so blow away by my husbands death that I just smoked a joint, drank too much wine and have no desire to live. I don't need to be hit over the head with the Word of God. I beat myself enough as it is.
I’m sorry beanie:(
 
On one of my day's off, Saturday, I sleep in to about 4:30 am and want to start doing some household chores. Thing is that my wife gets up much later so I have to be careful to be as quiet as I can. At that time of the morning, it is just me and my two cats, Tango and Sugar. They tend to get underfoot but I do enjoy their company.
I'm going to start a cat thread on what people name their cats. So different from dog names. Should I put it under Singles or Family?
 
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Ok.
My midnight confession is that I ex-communicated someone on CC. I think everyone knows who it is. :(

Excommunicated means that you officially banished someone from a group, usually a religious group or church. Do you just mean that you put someone on "ignore"?
 
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Ok.
My midnight confession is that I ex-communicated someone on CC. I think everyone knows who it is. :(
Yes , I noticed a bit of tension between u both 🙀 , I have a different person on ignore . Didn't want to do it , I don't have a problem with them but I was starting to feel that they had a problem with me . Maybe I'm a bit oversensitive but I do feel relieved that I don't c them any more .
 
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I never put any member on ignore but put a few on 'Eeyore'.

Haha yeah I'm not one for the ignore feature either, but I'm glad it's there for those who want to use it. Really it only bothers me when people use it as a means to gossip about others. 🤷‍♀️

Personally I find it way more annoying to not know what someone is saying. The only people on here who could actually hurt me are the ones whose opinion I respect, and I'm not going to ignore people I respect lol. 😆

But yeah, those Eeyores be somethin' else! 😵
 
Ex-communication...meaning I won't communicate with them anymore, cos it's a waste of time, as they are always trying to argue something that is pointless.
It does happen offline as well.
Also I mute the tv when it has ads. Don't need all that noise and stress in my life. I am at peace with it.

I am gossiped about, and I can't stop it even when I confront the gossipers. Like hello I am right here, don't talk about me in the third person as if I don't exist. They keep on doing it anyway.

I'm not sure that I want to know like all my flaws because I don't point out others all the time. I just accept people for who they are and don't try to change them. It's not up to me.