I wouldn't take a question like this to the boards. Go to someone who knows you both very well. A family member or a Pastor.
My boyfriend cheated, what should I do ?
- Thread starter Apple7456
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Regardless, I'm pretty sure it's important to know specifically what this cheating was and whether or not it was actually cheating.
If the cheating is fornication, then obviously the guy is not ready to be married at all. But if it's something like taking another person out because he's not sure about Apple, that's not the same thing.
Well, did both parties have said "plan", or just her; because I've definitely seen situations and been in (both sides of) situations where one party was far more invested in the other and assumed things they thought were implied. Nothing can be taken for granted, you have to ask these things.
SD--If Apple is taking the relationship seriously and she perceives this as unfaithfulness, I think we can take her at her word--I see no reason for us to be Sherlocks in the matter since she's a stranger to us, therefore no need for us to know the back story, only to give advice based on the evidence given.
Sure, if we were trying to be her bestie and provide emotional support, but that's not what the OP asked for. She wanted to know what we thought not for us to repeat her own feelings back at her.
What? Most people were telling her to RUN--not exactly emotional support. /: As Matthew said, "Often we ask questions when we already know the answer." She wouldn't have asked unless she didn't think it was right.
And asking what we thought based on the facts given. Not for us to analyze a variety of scenarios.
You are assuming what was given were facts, and in doing so, you could come to the wrong conclusion and give stupid advice. Regardless I have no intention on discussing it further with you... the OP can speak for themselves.
Yikes, SD--I think to call 'advice'--stupid is both unkind and immature on a Christian Chat forum. I don't see any 'stupid' advice here--to say a person who cheats is not the kind of person a Christian should consider marriage material is universally agreed upon amongst true believers--we didn't give advice based on conjecture, but based only on what has been shared.
Ridiculous- some advice is very stupid. There is such a thing as foolish council.
Yes, and I agreed with that.
Assuming "what was shared" was complete information- which it's not necessarily. Which is why I sought clarification.
What's your deal? How dare I question a female victim? Is that it? Or some other feminist nonsense. The OP can speak for herself. Thanks for your concern.
How old is he, are you?
Did he detail to you how he cheated? Or was texting it?
Yes agreement to be in an exclusive relationship. He was in sexual intercourse with one woman and messaging flirty/sexually with a couple of others.
No he initiated the talk about marriage and wanting to. Sexual inter course with one and flirty/sexual texting with two others
But what if I let him go and he doesn’t do it to the next person or becomes a prince for the next one. What if he changes after marriage because marriage is the only thing mentioned in the Bible. ?
Do you think he would take marriage more seriously because it’s mentioned in the Bible? Maybe I can be better so that he won’t have to talk to other girls again ?
He is the one that pursued me first and started talking about wanting to get married. Cheating I mean sex and sexual flirty texting a couple of others
Based on your post I would say no. Unless you are content to settle for second or third place in his life I would absolutely avoid marriage and furthermore, I would break it off with him.
Marriage is not the only thing mentioned in the bible. Character is mentioned prominently and his is very suspected. It has to do with trust and without trust there is no foundation to base a marriage on