My boyfriend Joshua died

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SillyMillie

Member
Mar 9, 2018
57
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8
My boyfriend Joshua died. He just turned 20. He was going to be a pilot. I was going to marry him. We were going to be so happy together. We were going to start a family together. But we won't.
Because we can't.
Because Joshua is now dead.
It was a rare cancer that took him from me.
why?
he never did anything wrong
he was spiritual and devoted to God
he was devoted to me.
We loved each other.
He loved me
i love him so much
my heart is shattered.
 
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry... His cancer was a result of this fallen world, it wasn't a punishment from God.

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God didn't have to let Joshua be sick and die. Why should he have to die because the world "is fallen" and probably has been falling before he was even born.
 
God's ways are sometimes very difficult for us to understand.

Many of the great Biblical figures, as well as post-Biblical Christian leaders, have struggled with the question of suffering.

Millie, you are not alone in this.

:)
 
Dear sister Millie...I am so sorry. I am in tears now :(. It seems God didn't want him to have to suffer a lifetime of small heartbreaks. He wanted him with Jesus. Joshua was ready to go home before most of us are. I'll pray that you're able to reach through the hurt and cling to Jesus by faith, in spite of your doubt. The devil would love for this to drive you away from God, but it doesn't have to.

If you ever need someone just to talk to, shoot me a PM.
 
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Tinuviel said:
Dear sister Millie...I am so sorry. I am in tears now :(. It seems God didn't want him to have to suffer a lifetime of small heartbreaks. He wanted him with Jesus. Joshua was ready to go home before most of us are. I'll pray that you're able to reach through the hurt and cling to Jesus by faith, in spite of your doubt. The devil would love for this to drive you away from God, but it doesn't have to.

If you ever need someone just to talk to, shoot me a PM.
Click to expand...

Joshua wasn't suffering with heartbreaks. I am, now that he's been taken. Jesus could've waited until we were married and have plenty of grandchildren and have lived a long life together like we planned. Joshua was so devoted to Him. If this is just a sick joke on me from the devil, I think I'd lose my entire wiling mess to continue
 
SillyMillie said:
Joshua wasn't suffering with heartbreaks. I am, now that he's been taken. Jesus could've waited until we were married and have plenty of grandchildren and have lived a long life together like we planned. Joshua was so devoted to Him. If this is just a sick joke on me from the devil, I think I'd lose my entire wiling mess to continue
Click to expand...

Like we learn in Job, the devil has no power over us except what God gives him to test us so we may draw closer to God. I don't think anyone can tell you why God took your boyfriend so young. To us, it doesn't make any sense at all. We can only acknowledge that God's wisdom is infinite and His plan will somehow be better than ours. Because if we're Christian, he really does have our best at heart, even when we can't see it.
 
Tinuviel said:
Like we learn in Job, the devil has no power over us except what God gives him to test us so we may draw closer to God. I don't think anyone can tell you why God took your boyfriend so young. To us, it doesn't make any sense at all. We can only acknowledge that God's wisdom is infinite and His plan will somehow be better than ours. Because if we're Christian, he really does have our best at heart, even when we can't see it.
Click to expand...

Why would basically murdering my true love being me closer to him?!
 
Tinuviel said:
Like we learn in Job, the devil has no power over us except what God gives him to test us so we may draw closer to God. I don't think anyone can tell you why God took your boyfriend so young. To us, it doesn't make any sense at all. We can only acknowledge that God's wisdom is infinite and His plan will somehow be better than ours. Because if we're Christian, he really does have our best at heart, even when we can't see it.
Click to expand...

SillyMillie said:
Why would basically murdering my true love being me closer to him?!
Click to expand...

It didn't make sense to Job either. Maybe you'd like to re-read Job. He lost people he loved too.
 
I am so sorry for your loss. Death is never an easy thing to experience especially when it comes to those we love most. My mother passed away in 2002. A Godly woman who battled cancer in many forms for 11 years and I asked the same questions that you did. I would first point out that God did not let Joshua die. Sickness and death are not part of God's plan. Jesus said that if we see Him, we have seen the Father (John 14:9) and Hebrews 1:3 says that Jesus is the exact representation of God's being. We never see in scripture that Jesus gave people cancer or other illnesses but quite the opposite, He healed them and made them whole - that's the real definition of Savior "one who makes another whole." So why wasn't Joshua healed? First, it wasn't because your (or his) faith wasn't strong enough or that you didn't pray hard enough or anything on your part. We must realize that our true warfare is in the spiritual realm (Ephesians 6:12). When we pray, God sends an immediate answer that looks exactly like Christ but there are those forces which look to hinder God's answer (Daniel 10:12-13; I Thes. 2:17-18). I understand the level of your hurt and I hope that what little I wrote will be of encouragement to you. Despite how trite this may sound, an excellent book on this topic is titled "Is God to Blame" by Gregory Boyd. It really encouraged me in my time of loss. God Bless you and comfort you in this time.
 
I am sorry about your loss. Of course your heart is shattered. I'm not sure why God has allowed this to happen but that doesn't mean that God doesn't love you or Joshua. It will take some time but eventually your life will go on. I will pray for God to comfort you.
 
SillyMillie said:
Joshua wasn't suffering with heartbreaks. I am, now that he's been taken. Jesus could've waited until we were married and have plenty of grandchildren and have lived a long life together like we planned. Joshua was so devoted to Him. If this is just a sick joke on me from the devil, I think I'd lose my entire wiling mess to continue
Click to expand...

I don't think that what happen to Joshua was from the devil. What happened to Joshua was from the cancer. Yes, I know that it seems so unfair and cruel for God to allow this to happen but one day you will know the answer and understand.
 
SillyMillie said:
My boyfriend Joshua died. He just turned 20. He was going to be a pilot. I was going to marry him. We were going to be so happy together. We were going to start a family together. But we won't.
Because we can't.
Because Joshua is now dead.
It was a rare cancer that took him from me.
why?
he never did anything wrong
he was spiritual and devoted to God
he was devoted to me.
We loved each other.
He loved me
i love him so much
my heart is shattered.
Click to expand...
Well life is a vapor it doesn't matter what age we are or what we do we can die anytime in any way it doesn't even matter if we are healthy or unhealthy,it's sad but that's just the way things are.
 
SillyMillie said:
My boyfriend Joshua died. He just turned 20. He was going to be a pilot. I was going to marry him. We were going to be so happy together. We were going to start a family together. But we won't.
Because we can't.
Because Joshua is now dead.
It was a rare cancer that took him from me.
why?
he never did anything wrong
he was spiritual and devoted to God
he was devoted to me.
We loved each other.
He loved me
i love him so much
my heart is shattered.
Click to expand...
I pray you will continue forward and be blessed.
 
At the end of the day we can't claim to know the reasons why God allows some things. God has His reasons. We can either trust that it not.
I lost my mom to sickness when I was 21 and she was in her 50s. Yet my dad is 85 and has survived a small bout with cancer and a small stroke. His dad died relatively young while his mother lived to be 90.

One thing I've noticed is people tend to think that because something affects them they are the focus. Your boyfriends death likely had nothing to do with you. It was between him and God. God may hope to bring something positive for you out if it eventually. But for now just focusing on coping and healing.
 
Exegete said:
I am so sorry for your loss. Death is never an easy thing to experience especially when it comes to those we love most. My mother passed away in 2002. A Godly woman who battled cancer in many forms for 11 years and I asked the same questions that you did. I would first point out that God did not let Joshua die. Sickness and death are not part of God's plan. Jesus said that if we see Him, we have seen the Father (John 14:9) and Hebrews 1:3 says that Jesus is the exact representation of God's being. We never see in scripture that Jesus gave people cancer or other illnesses but quite the opposite, He healed them and made them whole - that's the real definition of Savior "one who makes another whole." So why wasn't Joshua healed? First, it wasn't because your (or his) faith wasn't strong enough or that you didn't pray hard enough or anything on your part. We must realize that our true warfare is in the spiritual realm (Ephesians 6:12). When we pray, God sends an immediate answer that looks exactly like Christ but there are those forces which look to hinder God's answer (Daniel 10:12-13; I Thes. 2:17-18). I understand the level of your hurt and I hope that what little I wrote will be of encouragement to you. Despite how trite this may sound, an excellent book on this topic is titled "Is God to Blame" by Gregory Boyd. It really encouraged me in my time of loss. God Bless you and comfort you in this time.
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I read this and I started to cry. Thank you so very much
 
Exegete said:
I am so sorry for your loss. Death is never an easy thing to experience especially when it comes to those we love most. My mother passed away in 2002. A Godly woman who battled cancer in many forms for 11 years and I asked the same questions that you did. I would first point out that God did not let Joshua die. Sickness and death are not part of God's plan. Jesus said that if we see Him, we have seen the Father (John 14:9) and Hebrews 1:3 says that Jesus is the exact representation of God's being. We never see in scripture that Jesus gave people cancer or other illnesses but quite the opposite, He healed them and made them whole - that's the real definition of Savior "one who makes another whole." So why wasn't Joshua healed? First, it wasn't because your (or his) faith wasn't strong enough or that you didn't pray hard enough or anything on your part. We must realize that our true warfare is in the spiritual realm (Ephesians 6:12). When we pray, God sends an immediate answer that looks exactly like Christ but there are those forces which look to hinder God's answer (Daniel 10:12-13; I Thes. 2:17-18). I understand the level of your hurt and I hope that what little I wrote will be of encouragement to you. Despite how trite this may sound, an excellent book on this topic is titled "Is God to Blame" by Gregory Boyd. It really encouraged me in my time of loss. God Bless you and comfort you in this time.
Click to expand...

Ugly said:
At the end of the day we can't claim to know the reasons why God allows some things. God has His reasons. We can either trust that it not.
I lost my mom to sickness when I was 21 and she was in her 50s. Yet my dad is 85 and has survived a small bout with cancer and a small stroke. His dad died relatively young while his mother lived to be 90.

One thing I've noticed is people tend to think that because something affects them they are the focus. Your boyfriends death likely had nothing to do with you. It was between him and God. God may hope to bring something positive for you out if it eventually. But for now just focusing on coping and healing.
Click to expand...

That's beautiful. I'm so happy for your father, that he was able to successfully fight cancer.

Thank you
 
My heart breaks for you - of course you want to know why this happened and why God allowed it. If it were me, or one of children experiencing the same thing, I would want answers too. When you love someone, you become vulnerable to the sorrow that comes from losing that person.

Shock and grief are devastating emotions for the human heart to endure. They shake us to the core. Yet in the midst of that sorrow and pain, God promises to be there with us. It will take time for you to find a way to cope, and that can best be done by allowing others to surround you with support and understanding. Let others help you grieve. Let others listen to your thoughts and feelings. Let others hold you while you cry.

Over time you may begin to see how God can use this experience to draw you closer to Him. God works that way - He knows what is in your heart and the sadness that consumes you. He is the only One who can help you move forward with a new set of eyes. Only He can turn your sorrow into something meaningful. Please be patient. Let God carry you for now. He is your Great Shepherd and can comfort you when you need it the most. He lost a loved one too, so He felt loss much the same way you do.

Can I pray with you?

"Lord, I pray for my friend here who is grieving and trying to cope with this overwhelming sorrow. I pray you will wrap your love around her so tightly that she will know without a doubt that your love is greater than any other force on this earth. I pray you will calm her heart, and put her on a path that brings her closer to you. Amen."
 
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