PLEASE HELP! I’m trying desperately to raise my daughter with Christian values but she is definitely digging her heels in. Her ‘gay’ guy-friend asked her to have a sleepover. Of course I said absolutely not! Then she yells at me that I’m just homophobic and unreasonable. She then proceeds to tell me that her friend (a girl) who has stayed over at our house before is bisexual. Then she yells at me “don’t you dare treat her different now!” What do I do? Never let my daughter stay with friends ever again?
First seek Gods guidance in prayer. Sleep on it and then set up a day or time for you and your daughter to do something fun she likes or something that can give yall time to talk.
Pre plan very carefully what topics you want to bring up and what very carefully you are going to say. It is very vital she is in a mood where she feels loved and then you do your best to speak in love and in concern for her wellbeing.
Basically you do the best you can on your side and if she responds still in a opposing manner then ultimately your only option is if she doesn't want to listen is by being doing what as parent must be done to protect her. That may be being more involved in her friendships just as you did with not letting her spend the night with her homosexual guy friend. Until she is 18 and leaves the house then she doesn't have much say in how you parent her. Of course she will probably act like a teenager, say she hates you, or you are unloving, etc.
One very important thing is to explain why and not just command her. Debate her in a careful loving and concerning way. Ask her questions. Why does she think your homophobic. Have her talk and explain. Just listen and give her the feeling that you truly care for her thoughts. She will love to talk about herself and her beliefs.
Pay very close attention as certain ideas could spark a good reply that could help her see the hypocrisy or logical errors in her belief. Keep in mind make it look honest and look like a question. A question isnt as hostile as just telling her that idea is illogical.
Research, research, research these topics and how to respond to such ideas. Be ready and prepared to have a good explanation when it is finally your turn to explain your beliefs. Dont just quote the Bible but also explain what science has to say, explain what health statistics and research has to say, explain that certain lifestyles are more harmful then why. Always be ready to show why and not just because God said.
God commands but his Word will equally be evidently true in reality. We can see the major poor health affects of a practicing homosexual just by looking at the CDC website. Unfortunately other studies show these lifestyles are largely linked to child abuse and environmental factors like home life or the psychological impact of group popularity as we see in places like Hollywood. In order to fit in they must hold certain beliefs or music artists make sexual freedom look normal and fun.
Biology doesn't support anything but heterosexual relationships for obvious reasons in reproduction which in vitally important with the sociological studies of the health and growth of society.
Also including that we are currently at a 30 year low in infant births. The fertility rate is lower than the death rate. Meaning more people are dying than being born. We are not replacing ourselves. A man and woman must have 3 kids in order to multiply. Otherwise with just 2 you are only replacing yourselves.
And all this relates to how the most successful and healthy families are a 1 man, 1 woman marriage. There is soo much data on what kinda offspring broken families typically produces and how important it is to have a man and a woman to parent a child.
Use this kinda research as a question. Respond to her statements like. Well what do you think about this health study or this statistic? And she will respond. Then your reply could be to ask her to explain her thought further or you simply ask her another question.
The goal at this stage isn't to win her over but to shake her beliefs. Then another day you will see other opportunities to continue the shaking. Find other woman she can connect with that will share your views and get her near those woman also.
And I stress do this in love, patience and kindness. Stress that we all are sinners and God forgives anyone who comes to him. And show her by example of the words of jesus. Invite her friends over. In your controlled environment. And just treat them as Jesus would. If anything comes up dont back down from your beliefs but just say what the scripture says and spend more time on that all sinners need Jesus including you and that his grace is given to all who put their faith in Him. And if it escalates you can lovingly and politely ask them questions just to get their minds going.
Then just leave it at that. Let that shake their beliefs and end the conversation. Dont try to win all in one day. But by large speak by example with your actions. Love them and slowly guide them to healthier beliefs and behaviors.
Use every resource available to help you communicate. Seek professionals, books, articles, and people with personal experiences.
Hope this helps.
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