Out of my league

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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Question, what do men mean when they say this - she's out of my league?
I'm not a fan of rugby, so not sure why they would say this. It seems to be an American term that guys use for supposedly 'high maintainence' women but aren't ALL women high maintainence, or even if they aren't and have simple needs, children are! They cost a lot of money.

So is it just a way of saying for men that they don't really want to marry or date a woman cos it would be too expensive?
 
Well, It's often said that women date up and men date down. For a guy to date out of his league would be for him to date up...

Something like that.
 
Well, It's often said that women date up and men date down. For a guy to date out of his league would be for him to date up...

Something like that.
What do you mean by up and down? Be specific.
 
Most women don't have money of their own unless they are heiresses. Otherwise most of us have to work for a living, like everyone else.
 
Huh Never knew it was actually a title of a movie. That I've never heard of till now.
So, do men really rate women 1-10? In America?

Cos we don't do that here, in my country that would be misogynist and chauvinist.

Only hags mags do it do women who get photographed on the red carpets of hollywood, but it's not about the women so much as the gowns they wear and whether they can actually pull it off. It's never rating a woman herself.
 
Most designer dresses are given by the designers to wear for an occasion, it's not actually the case that the woman buys it herself. it's a costume and meant to showcase the dress, not the lady. Most women cannot afford to wear a gown every week, at most the most expensive dress they would wear is for a ball, or bridal and even that, many women don't have.

Only Princesses have that kind of wardrobe, or actresses/models as part of their job. If you are a princess it doesn't preclude a pauper befriending you though. Daddy's money will tide her over.
 
I must have forgotten about the beauty pageants!
Miss Universe and Miss World. One year a New Zealander won. Her name was Lorraine Downes. Yes they gave scores over who looked the best it was like America's Next Top Model but worldwide competition. So maybe that's referring to that?

She ended up marrying an All Black. So it IS actually referring to sports. Beauty contests/pageants are sports right? You only enter them to try and win.

But that couple got divorced. I know cos it was in her memoir, Life, Loss and Love. After her divorce she married a nz international cricket captain. Then he died, and then she entered Dancing with the Stars, which she won. So yea.

Well us mere mortals who don't enter international sports competitions are obviously not even in any league.
 
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Now we don't want to use any bad names....but the Book of Proverbs seems to mention these sorts of women quite often.
 
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Don't make sense sorry.

Don't like 'meat market' type dating on bell curve.

Nothing to do with that. It's about sports competition. If you are the creme de la creme of your chosen field, you will encounter and probably date others at the top.
 
Question, what do men mean when they say this - she's out of my league?
I'm not a fan of rugby, so not sure why they would say this. It seems to be an American term that guys use for supposedly 'high maintainence' women but aren't ALL women high maintainence, or even if they aren't and have simple needs, children are! They cost a lot of money.

So is it just a way of saying for men that they don't really want to marry or date a woman cos it would be too expensive?
I believe that one believes the other is beneath them in various ways, such as money, notoriety, social status, etc.
 
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Doctors don't marry nurses. Secretaries don't marry their bosses.

Doctors date and marry other doctors. Lawyers marry Lawyers.
If you are CEO and female, you'd probably date 'down' because it's so hard to rise to the top when men block your way. So when you do get to the top, there's no where else to go.
 
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If Principals marry or date teachers within the same school, that's sort of taboo, they have to keep it clandestine from the children/students.

Principals date other heads of departments in other areas.
 
I believe that one believes the other is beneath them in various ways, such as money, notoriety, social status, etc.
Or there's age gaps, there's a point where its icky and wrong.
Teachers and students is always problematic, even though that's probably seen as the most romantic kind of relationship. ie. My Fair Lady/Pygmalion Svengali to Trilby.

Gold digging is frowned upon. In UK it's called 'social climbing' and isn't referred to as a sport.
 
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Whats fascinating is when Royals marry 'commoners' as they aren't meant to do that. That's why Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle got so much flak.
 
@Lanolin - when a man refers to a woman as being "out of my league", it generally means that he sees the woman as being much more good looking than him and/or in a higher 'class' than him - according to the general consensus of the societal norms.

The word 'league' in this context is referring to various levels of what a 'league' is - like saying "little league" in comparison to "major league" for example.
 
Definitely right in the very center of the biggest reasons why there are so many lonely unmarried women-of-all-ages today.

@Lanolin - this is a real thing in America.
Women? ...no I would say it's the men who are lonely.
Women have more friendships, while men mostly have sports competitions or hobbies.

It's just men either emigrate overseas where there's more opportunities, or they get killed off in war. If there's a surplus of men its mostly due to economic reasons, like what happened in China with one child policy.

Not sure what it's like in the US but in NZ, we have men drought, but women learn to cope. Not always a bad thing, as this is just what you do to survive.
 
@Lanolin - when a man refers to a woman as being "out of my league", it generally means that he sees the woman as being much more good looking than him and/or in a higher 'class' than him - according to the general consensus of the societal norms.

The word 'league' in this context is referring to various levels of what a 'league' is - like saying "little league" in comparison to "major league" for example.
oh ok but women are always better looking than men lol
 
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Class in America. Is what? How much tax you pay or can get away with not paying?