Angelique, I'm not sure what you have been struggling with or what has lead you to this place of complete desperation, but your Heavenly Father knows exactly what is going on deep within your heart & spirit. He is able to touch those places deep within your soul that no one else can. Prayer is powerful! & I know all these prayers for you, including your prayers are moving the heart of God to reach down & bring healing into your life. The enemy loves to get in our face & speak lies, as his tactics are always to speak death and hopelessness, so despair with be all consuming. There are so many things that can pull a Christian down spiritually, and it all starts with our thoughts. Jesus loves You so much! and He is with you now. Please respond to your Heavenly Father, and listen to His Voice, and He knows the way to life, peace, healing, wholeness. He will build a strong foundation for your life, and help you heal & become strong, joyful in Him. If you can get a bible in your hands, and spend time reading Psalms, or wherever you feel the Lord leading you in His word, as this will be Life to your soul, and the darkness will begin to fade, and strength & hope and truth begin to minister within your spirit. The word of God is alive, powerful and life changing. If your feeling all alone, just know Jesus is with you now & always. You can talk with Him, and simply lay all the pain at His feet. Follow His leading, and know He is so Trust Worthy. Please speak to your local pastor, and allow support from other believers to walk with you, and to pray with you. You have taken a important step today, by coming to Christian chat prayer. This is a great site for prayer & encouragement. Just know your never alone, and Jesus has a beautiful life for you.