Oh, my brethren! bold-hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards. - Charles Spurgeon
I do hope that one day you attain to the level of Spurgeon in your relationship with Christ.
Ro 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
We are to be conformed to the image of His Son. I include myself in that admonition.
For the cause of Christ
Roger