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I am confused as to how this wonderful thread that was started turned out to be a porn thread, but marriage doesn't FIX any sexual addiction or sexual sin.
I am not married, and even I know that.
If an individual has a problem with porn and other things of a sexual nature they may need to seek counseling or well....even prayer. Pray is a cool thing ya know.
You have brought up a good point though.
A couple should enter in to marriage with total honesty. If something of their past could enter in to their marriage it needs to come out BEFORE marriage.
If my boyfriend(for example) had an addiction to pornography I would hope that he would inform me of this before we married. I certainly would not approve of Playboy subscriptions in my mailbox. Meaning I would not want to come home from work one day shocked that he had a porn video going in the livingroom. Things like that need to be addressed before marriage because something as "little" as porn can destroy a marriage.
haha, yet again a single person giving marrital advice....can i just say that this is something that I WOULD APPRECIATE if i were getting married?
Honestly, I'd rather show the girl everything in beginning of relationship and ask her to reval everything about her past sexually. So we both don't have surprises later down line, but I guess things don't work like that do they. But then I might just be so open do thing that way since I don't have a sexual history. I've just got to deal with the porn problem...
G
GreenNnice
Guest
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What is the point to talk about sb4m? Don't do it, don't talk about it, talk about things that are going to be important for your marriage like kids, family, likes, dislikes. Why would you want to talk about sex before marriage? How does that do anything but put pressure on you to have sex before marriage? The act is something SACRED, set for marriage.
I am not an expert on the subject, by any means, OK, I admit it, by NO means. But I just , megaT, do not think God wants any people-young, old, or between young and old-that are engaged, and, especially just dating, to talk about that 'stuff' before marriage. I am not sure in scripture where it stays that but human sexuality is not something you want to broadcast, for it causes feelings in us, especially we guys that think about SEX (so a poll says) , every SEVEN MINUTES . Women think about sex not as often, in fact, they think about communication every SEVEN SECONDS.
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It is recommended that couples go to pre-marital counseling and I don't even think the counselor approaches that subject. I could be wrong because I've never been married nor in pre-marital counseling to see that I was READY for all marriage was.
Sorry, you don't understand me, too, Liam, but you're always getting frustrated (and that's fine, you are just not going to understand everyone). I think some of your frustration is because I type most everything out on a MyTouch 4G phone that often impossibly allows me to communicate (if that makes any sense
I am just following God as perfect as I can but I am so NOT a perfectionist, in writing, speaking, and, certainly, reading others thoughts and trying to perfectly make response jive back responsibly for all to understand.
God be with my lack of understanding on this topic, but at least I try to make sense of it, and, I emphatically believe that Julieannie is approaching this with kid gloves, as should be the case, and, great to hear that two young ladies find what's said what God would be speaking to them through posts on here . \
Because edifying each other into erudite thinking of God's ways is EXACTLY how it should be
Maybe we should all just take a deep breath on this topic, friends, and sing a song to cheer us all up:
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away.
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.
And they are always glad you came.
You want to go where people go, where troubles are all the same.
You want to go where everybody knows your name."
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DISCLAIMER - PLEASE READ: I normally avoid threads of a sexual nature like the plague on here because they tend to disintegrate into muck, but something has been heavily on my heart to share today, especially with younger people. Must be a reason for that, so I need to pay attention. Hopefully, we can all keep in mind that God and His children are reading this and keep the discussion on that level. For those who might have a little trouble understanding that, let's put it like this: If you wouldn't say it to your pastor, his wife, your mom, your grandmother or wouldn't want anyone to say it about your husband/son/wife/daughter/sister, DON'T SAY IT HERE, K?
Now that we have the disclaimer out of the way, I'm troubled by the notion that some folks want to drag the same sort of legalism into marriage as they do into the Church, especially when it comes to the intimate relationship between a husband and wife. SOME of those who've never been married appear to be more prone to do so for whatever reason... That's kinda like taking parenting advice from a childless pediatrician, isn't it??
Let's start with the basics, shall we?
Genesis 2: But for Adam[g] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[h] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[i] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
If there is anything shameful about a husband and wife coming together, MAN put it there, not God. And please note that this discussion took place before there was ANY discussion about babies. (Not that I don't like babies.
A HEALTHY (NON-ABUSIVE) sexual relationship within marriage is VITAL to the strength of a marriage. I can't imagine anyone who's ever been married thinking otherwise. And what goes on between a husband and wife is between God/husband/wife. It's not for the rest of us to make judgment calls about, especially where scripture is silent. When scripture is silent, perhaps we should be as well...just sayin..
I also want to point out that sexual compatibility is not about keeping score. I was a virgin when I married, but my husband was not (he was considerably older). I'm NOT saying it was right, only that it wasn't an issue. There's a difference...
Seems like abusive relationships have spoiled this for so many people, but that's a whole other thread. If you don't think a guy/lady loves you enough not to degrade you or abuse you in some way and you don't trust them intimately, you should not marry them. Period. Pack it up and move on. Seriously.
And don't let people who have hang ups and fears dictate your personal relationships and allow these things to become YOUR hang ups and fears. Trust God and the mate HE brings into your life. He created marriage. Man and woman becoming one was HIS idea. HE knows what He's doing. People don't.
So, after reading this post three times ( two all the way, one skim) im still not even sure what it is you're talking about. What's your beef? That some people are legalistic in marriage? That the marriage bed in NOT undefiled? This bothers you that much? Why?
Were you in a legalistic marriage? Are you worried that you might meet some guy who won't lick your toes? Don't sweat it Jullianaa, he's out there! It seems you let certain doubts creep in that you might end up marrying a "square".
Are you ashamed to believe God for a guy who will use a little coolwhip? Are you trying to convince yourself that God hasn't been affected by the legalists?
Don't worry jullianna, God knows your a freaky deeky in the bedroom and will bring someone into your life who is compatible. No need to air your doubts out here or try to convince God in a forum of believers not to cave in to peer pressure. He knows better. Keep the FAITH Jullianna!
So, after reading this post three times ( two all the way, one skim) im still not even sure what it is you're talking about. What's your beef? That some people are legalistic in marriage? That the marriage bed in NOT undefiled? This bothers you that much? Why?
Were you in a legalistic marriage? Are you worried that you might meet some guy who won't lick your toes? Don't sweat it Jullianaa, he's out there! It seems you let certain doubts creep in that you might end up marrying a "square".
Are you ashamed to believe God for a guy who will use a little coolwhip? Are you trying to convince yourself that God hasn't been affected by the legalists?
Don't worry jullianna, God knows your a freaky deeky in the bedroom and will bring someone into your life who is compatible. No need to air your doubts out here or try to convince God in a forum of believers not to cave in to peer pressure. He knows better. Keep the FAITH Jullianna!
Well, what can I say about you post?
First off. You might have needed to read her most more than three times and then it might have been a good idea to read the other posts since you werent too sure where she was coming from.
I too read her post the first time and was confused. Then, intelligence hit me and realized this thread was in conjunction to another thread about oral sex during marriage and whether it is sinful or not.
Julianna was trying her best to give her point of view on this in the since that she is/was married so she has been there as far as intimacy within marriage.
Her opinion is whatever is done between a man in wife should be kept private and be done in respect of the other person.
Now, I will also say that it is sad that a momber of a forum like this can take a very proper post about a serious subject and make it perveted to where you pretty much degraded the OP due to your own ignorance.
But I have no need to defend Julianna because she is a woman that can take care of herself, but I will congratulate you Chuck, you have just lost respect from a Christian by your words. I will pray for you.
Have a blessed night.
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" Hi Sandy, im dothaczero. This is my first date in 10 years. It's so wonderful to finally meet a believer that I have a few things in common with, mainly Jesus and the Bible. Btw sandy, im a porn addict and sometimes do it 15 times in one day. The more I do it the more tolerance I build up and need to view harder and harder porn to get me off."
Don't worry dothackzero, there wont be a "down the line" to worry about.
And just because your a virgin doesn't mean anything. There are a lot more to our pasts than our sex lives. And no matter if you're a virgin or hugh heffner if God in the matchmaker it wont matter. Just be wise and don't throwup all over your date with your past the first time you meet her .The best part about meeting a woman is getting to know her and vise verse. Take it slow.
Thanks for judging. I don't mind really. Feel better now?
Lets see, you said
So, im not intelligent as I didn't know her post was about ORAL SEX? What an IDIOT I am! God god im a moron.
Let's see, how would I KNOW that judger?
And point out to me where I was being perverted? Are you able to realise when someone is making a point? Im sorry I didn't get involved in the "porn" or "oral sex" conversation. I guess im a sicko for avoiding it.
Yuh, you too.
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your question about how you were being a pervery was in reference to you calling the OP freeky deaky in bed.
I wouldnt be so hard on yourself. I dont think you are an idiot. Just have a sick kind of humor. I have it at times too. Maybe someday I will show you how to properly use it on the forums.
So, after reading this post three times ( two all the way, one skim) im still not even sure what it is you're talking about. What's your beef? That some people are legalistic in marriage? That the marriage bed in NOT undefiled? This bothers you that much? Why?
Were you in a legalistic marriage? Are you worried that you might meet some guy who won't lick your toes? Don't sweat it Jullianaa, he's out there! It seems you let certain doubts creep in that you might end up marrying a "square".
Are you ashamed to believe God for a guy who will use a little coolwhip? Are you trying to convince yourself that God hasn't been affected by the legalists?
Don't worry jullianna, God knows your a freaky deeky in the bedroom and will bring someone into your life who is compatible. No need to air your doubts out here or try to convince God in a forum of believers not to cave in to peer pressure. He knows better. Keep the FAITH Jullianna!
This thread is borne out of a need to promote Pre-marital communication and probably even counseling.
Do not projectile vomit your imagination about what you think someone else's intentions are. Your questions are so disingenuous that I'm led to believe that you utterly lack the capacity to respond respectfully.
Honestly I usually go out of my way to ensure that people feel welcome but, for you I'm willing to make an exception.
Stop trying to convince yourself that you are funny because you are nothing more than a disgusting pervert with nothing better to do than spill your foul inspiration somewhere that you can get away with it. After all, from such a thing, such a thing comes.
You think I come to a Christian forum to get my perversion off?
Again, please point out my perverions. Are also unable to comprehend points?Are you really going to stand behind all of your hatred towards me in your comment? Why are you so angry and mean to people?
Why all the judging?
I have to say, i think your post is WAY worse than mine. Are you really A follower of Christ? Talking to me that way?
You think I come to a Christian forum to get my perversion off?
Are you really going to stand behind all of your hatred towards me in your comment? Why are you so angry and mean to people?
Why all the judging?
I have to say, i think your post is WAY worse than mine. Are you really A follower of Christ? Talking to me that way?
So you are the DON'T JUDGE type huh?
Well, in that case may I tell you...Dearest Chuck that I love you. As a Christian. I also think that MAYBE, just MAYBE as humans we tend to not be so kind and rather blunt in our comments and they could offend others. It is ok. No one is perfect. I do it too...quite often actually, but I alm SO fortunate for Christian friend to help guide me and direct me if I do things in a non-Christian way.
Again Chuck...I love you. I dont have to know you personally to have this feeling, but I do. I do not mean to pass judgement but would rather warn you so others may not bring judgement agaisnt you.
God bless you.
Was that good?
You think I come to a Christian forum to get my perversion off?
Are you really going to stand behind all of your hatred towards me in your comment? Why are you so angry and mean to people?
Why all the judging?
I have to say, i think your post is WAY worse than mine. Are you really A follower of Christ? Talking to me that way?
I had given it considerable thought and yes I stand by what I said. When you talk about my people insinuating that they are into some kind of foot fetish or unspecific act involving whip cream, I will always be defensive. She is a person, not just an internet avatar for your imagination.
I don't know that I've ever encountered this level of condescending and self righteous justification that would have attempted to convince anyone, aside from yourself, that what you have said is somehow in the scope of the dialogue that is occurring.
YOU crossed the line when you made it personal. YOU crossed the line when you attacked her motives for posting this in the first place.
I don't care if you think I'm judging you. I don't care if you think I hate people. I would defend the character of any of my people, if it means having someone who doesn't like, that is a burden I'm more than willing to bear.
This was actually a great post.
I agree.
In all seriousness Chuck, there is nothing wrong with humor, but you did go about it in a rather offensive way. Just simmer down a little. That's all.
Settle down dude. Did you just watch Braveheart? It's a good movie for sure. I understand your need to make yourself look good by making me look bad. It's an old trick, and a good one. Bravo.
But, unless you're moses, im not sure who "your" people are?
DISCLAIMER - PLEASE READ: I normally avoid threads of a sexual nature like the plague on here because they tend to disintegrate into muck, but something has been heavily on my heart to share today, especially with younger people. Must be a reason for that, so I need to pay attention. Hopefully, we can all keep in mind that God and His children are reading this and keep the discussion on that level. For those who might have a little trouble understanding that, let's put it like this: If you wouldn't say it to your pastor, his wife, your mom, your grandmother or wouldn't want anyone to say it about your husband/son/wife/daughter/sister, DON'T SAY IT HERE, K?
Now that we have the disclaimer out of the way, I'm troubled by the notion that some folks want to drag the same sort of legalism into marriage as they do into the Church, especially when it comes to the intimate relationship between a husband and wife. SOME of those who've never been married appear to be more prone to do so for whatever reason... That's kinda like taking parenting advice from a childless pediatrician, isn't it??
Let's start with the basics, shall we?
Genesis 2: But for Adam[g] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[h] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[i] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
If there is anything shameful about a husband and wife coming together, MAN put it there, not God. And please note that this discussion took place before there was ANY discussion about babies. (Not that I don't like babies.
A HEALTHY (NON-ABUSIVE) sexual relationship within marriage is VITAL to the strength of a marriage. I can't imagine anyone who's ever been married thinking otherwise. And what goes on between a husband and wife is between God/husband/wife. It's not for the rest of us to make judgment calls about, especially where scripture is silent. When scripture is silent, perhaps we should be as well...just sayin..
I also want to point out that sexual compatibility is not about keeping score. I was a virgin when I married, but my husband was not (he was considerably older). I'm NOT saying it was right, only that it wasn't an issue. There's a difference...
Seems like abusive relationships have spoiled this for so many people, but that's a whole other thread. If you don't think a guy/lady loves you enough not to degrade you or abuse you in some way and you don't trust them intimately, you should not marry them. Period. Pack it up and move on. Seriously.
And don't let people who have hang ups and fears dictate your personal relationships and allow these things to become YOUR hang ups and fears. Trust God and the mate HE brings into your life. He created marriage. Man and woman becoming one was HIS idea. HE knows what He's doing. People don't.
Jullianna, You probably won't see this in time and also rip me a new one, as im finding out this site is a fragile one. Who knew? Live and learn I guess.
Anyhow, My original post was not in ANY way meant to be perverted or offending. I hope you realise this. Im thinking you wont, hence me writing this comment.
Im sorry if I offended you cause I SURE didn't mean too...
BUT, I certainly offended many others. So, to be clear, I didn't intend to offend YOU. I can't help if I offend other people who im not even responding to but to you im sorry for anything that was out of line. I hope you can see thru the possibly (bad) examples I gave and just see the simple point I was trying to make, that:God will bring someone into your life that you are compatible with in every way, including sexually.
Peace...