Should Christians Use Dating Apps?

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celras said:
And there is another problem: disappointment builds up. After enough unanswered messages, meaningless conversations, cancelled dates, ghosting and short-lived connections, people naturally start protecting themselves.

They become more cautious, less enthusiastic and sometimes simply stop believing that anything worthwhile will come from another swipe.

Perhaps that is why so many people are taking a step back from dating apps. They aren't necessarily tired of love, companionship or meeting someone special. They're tired of the way dating has been turned into a never-ending digital process.

People still want connection. They still want someone they can laugh with, trust, talk to and share life with.

But increasingly, they seem to be looking for something that feels more natural and authentic — something that doesn't begin with a carefully selected photograph and a swipe left or right.
Maybe the real problem isn't that people have lost interest in relationships.

Maybe they're simply exhausted by looking for them in the wrong place.
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Even though I have zero experience with dating apps, I've found this to be true ^
It's alarming how quickly some people can move on from you. They say one thing one day and something entirely different the next day.
But, I do believe there is (and have experienced) genuineness online. There are bad situations offline and online. It's exhausting all around.
A genuine connection is very rare, but not hopeless!
 
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CarriePie said:
Even though I have zero experience with dating apps, I've found this to be true ^
It's alarming how quickly some people can move on from you. They say one thing one day and something entirely different the next day.
But, I do believe there is (and have experienced) genuineness online. There are bad situations offline and online. It's exhausting all around.
A genuine connection is very rare, but not hopeless!
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The point is people need to see each other in person.
Before meeting in person, please don't get yourself into any kind of romantic feelings.
Even after meeting in person, still considering as church fellowship in the beginning, until you know each other better.
 
Churchgoer said:
The point is people need to see each other in person.
Before meeting in person, please don't get yourself into any kind of romantic feelings.
Even after meeting in person, still considering as church fellowship in the beginning, until you know each other better.
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I think the big thing is to seek the Lord's guidance, each person on their on and the couple needs to seek the Lord's guidance together. I have experience with meeting online and I know what is comfortable for me. I'm not going to go meet someone that I don't have feelings for lol. When feelings develop, I seek the Lord's guidance. We can't just shut off feelings until we meet in person. Meeting in person is important, but there's nothing wrong with having feelings before doing so when done carefully (in fact, I don't see the point in meeting if there are no feelings there).
 
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CarriePie said:
I think the big thing is to seek the Lord's guidance, each person on their on and the couple needs to seek the Lord's guidance together. I have experience with meeting online and I know what is comfortable for me. I'm not going to go meet someone that I don't have feelings for lol. When feelings develop, I seek the Lord's guidance. We can't just shut off feelings until we meet in person. Meeting in person is important, but there's nothing wrong with having feelings before doing so when done carefully (in fact, I don't see the point in meeting if there are no feelings there).
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Definitely respect your approach.

I am different. As long as the guy meets God's requirements as well as my preference, I want to meet in person as a start. I don't develop any feelings before meet in person. Meet in person to me is like visiting a church, or on site interview. Just meet and greet in person.
 
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Churchgoer said:
Definitely respect your approach.

I am different. As long as the guy meets God's requirements as well as my preference, I want to meet in person as a start. I don't develop any feelings before meet in person. Meet in person to me is like visiting a church, or on site interview. Just meet and greet in person.
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In my time online, I've had guys who have wanted to meet me that I had no feelings for and had no interest in in that way. I declined because they deserve to meet someone who wanted to meet them as much as they wanted to meet. I try to be polite to everyone, but it's rare that I've ran into someone that grabs my interest/feelings, but it happens. When it happens, of course I want to meet them!
And this could just be me. If I don't have feelings for anyone, then I'm perfectly fine being on my own. If I do have feelings for someone, then I'm definitely open to seeing where it goes. This is probably why I've never joined a dating site/app and all my relationships have happened organically (whether offline or online). I'm content on my own or I'd happily be with someone that I have feelings for (if that's the Lord's will). I believe the Lord created us to have feelings and I'm thankful for that. We also have to be careful with those feelings, therefor I go to Him concerning my feelings.

Anyway, however each of us here approaches meeting someone online or offline, may we all stay safe and always under the guidance of the Lord! 🙏
 
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celras said:
There’s a growing sense that people are simply tired of dating apps.

What was once seen as an exciting way to meet new people has, for many, become a source of frustration, disappointment and emotional exhaustion. The promise was simple: more choice, more opportunities, more chances to find someone compatible. But having hundreds of profiles to choose from doesn’t necessarily make it easier to find a meaningful connection.

In fact, for some people, it has made dating feel almost like shopping. You swipe, match, chat for a while, lose interest, get ghosted, or discover that the person you connected with isn’t really looking for the same thing. Then you start again.

The constant availability of new possibilities can also create the feeling that there is always someone “better” just around the corner. Instead of giving someone a real chance, people may keep looking for the next match. This can make relationships feel disposable and leave people wondering whether genuine connection is even possible anymore.

And there is another problem: disappointment builds up. After enough unanswered messages, meaningless conversations, cancelled dates, ghosting and short-lived connections, people naturally start protecting themselves.

They become more cautious, less enthusiastic and sometimes simply stop believing that anything worthwhile will come from another swipe.

Perhaps that is why so many people are taking a step back from dating apps. They aren't necessarily tired of love, companionship or meeting someone special. They're tired of the way dating has been turned into a never-ending digital process.

People still want connection. They still want someone they can laugh with, trust, talk to and share life with.

But increasingly, they seem to be looking for something that feels more natural and authentic — something that doesn't begin with a carefully selected photograph and a swipe left or right.
Maybe the real problem isn't that people have lost interest in relationships.

Maybe they're simply exhausted by looking for them in the wrong place.
Click to expand...
Then dating apps are definitely the wrong place to look for authentic relationship. Why do you search for the living among the dead? Why do you search for the genuine among the performative? Of all people, Christians should know this better.
 
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In my church circle, I know at least 2 couple found spouse on dating sites. One younger couple, by now their kids probably in middle or high school.

One older couple, the brother is very deep in faith and theology. Often teach and serve worship in church.
 
Churchgoer said:
In my church circle, I know at least 2 couple found spouse on dating sites. One younger couple, by now their kids probably in middle or high school.

One older couple, the brother is very deep in faith and theology. Often teach and serve worship in church.
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OK, good for them. I just don't understand why mating is such a big deal, especially for Christians.
 
Lovette said:
OK, good for them. I just don't understand why mating is such a big deal, especially for Christians.
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Hormones, continuation of the species, life is hard and it's nice to feel like you matter to someone, better survival odds. As a wise old single in ministry once said. "Marriage is the norm and singleness abnormal"

Also because the church has a skewed perspective that thinks marriage has problems but singleness in and of itself is a problem.
 
Marriage is a beautiful thing created by God. As long as people do it right by God.

Just as brotherly love is a beautiful thing, as long as people do it right.

Failed marriages does not discredit good marriage and God's everlasting design.
LGBT stuff does not discredit true Christian friendship.
A rock in cain s hand is a murdering weapon. But a rock in builder s hand is house foundation.

Self respect as well as respect others. Freedom in the Lord.
 
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cinder said:
Hormones, continuation of the species, life is hard and it's nice to feel like you matter to someone, better survival odds. As a wise old single in ministry once said. "Marriage is the norm and singleness abnormal"

Also because the church has a skewed perspective that thinks marriage has problems but singleness in and of itself is a problem.
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Singleness is the default state for all human beings, marriage on the other hand is a conscious choice, if not THE most risky and consequential choice in your entire life, it's only for those who can handle it, who can actually be a blessing to their spouse, instead of using them as mere breeders for the "continuation of the species". If singleness is a "problem" to you, don't expect it to be "fixed" by marriage, it'll only expose and magnify your existing problems.
 
I have observed, not a hard rule,

single women in church tend to be taking big responsibilities, such as teaching kids, leading music worship, cooking...

married men or had marriage history in church also taking big responsibilities, pastors, elders, teaching, .....

Married women focus more in family until their kids grown up.

Single men never married I don't see too many hold big responsibilities in church. Just observation, not to criticize any.
 
Churchgoer said:
I have observed, not a hard rule,
single women in church tend to be taking big responsibilities, such as teaching kids, leading music worship, cooking...
married men or had marriage history in church also taking big responsibilities, pastors, elders, teaching, .....
Married women focus more in family until their kids grown up.
Single men never married I don't see too many hold big responsibilities in church. Just observation, not to criticize any.
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I'm fortunate to know some single guys who are highly active in their church.

I understand that it seems like churches today have moved more towards being "women's spaces"... which can't seem very welcoming to men.

I also have to wonder if the reason why more single men aren't involved in the "big responsibility" positions is because:

1. "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt at teaching." -- 1 Timothy 3:2

2. "An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient." -- Titus 1:6

I could be wrong, but I think many churches take this as being that a man of high position should ideally be married, favoring married candidates for such placements over single men. (Again, I might be wrong, but it seems to be the case in the churches I've seen, unless it's a youth pastor -- and even then, most I've known were married or got married within a few years.)

It's unfortunate, but there is a bias against single men working with children, meaning that single men will often not be chosen for positions that many single women are often seen filling -- such as teaching children.

I don't think many parents are comfortable having men teach their young children (and if they did, married men would be seen as "safer" than single men, which is unfair but what most people seem to believe.)

Of course I realize there are social reasons for these beliefs, and of course, women can be a danger to others as well, but it appears that churches understandably go with what they think will be the "least problematic" candidates.

It's a sad thing, but I don't know if there are many churches that actually let single men have much leadership in any area -- which hurts both the church, and single men looking for an outlet to put their leadership skills into practice.

I had a guy friend who was always volunteering for this and that, but it was all busy work. It seems the staff had their own choice circle of those they wanted to keep in the "real" positions, and he was an outsider.

Discouraged, he finally left, because he was never allowed more responsibility, even though he asked and worked hard for it.
 
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seoulsearch said:
I'm fortunate to know some single guys who are highly active in their church.

I understand that it seems like churches today have moved more towards being "women's spaces"... which can't seem very welcoming to men.

I also have to wonder if the reason why more single men aren't involved in the "big responsibility" positions is because:

1. "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt at teaching." -- 1 Timothy 3:2

2. "An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient." -- Titus 1:6

I could be wrong, but I think many churches take this as being that a man of high position should ideally be married, favoring married candidates for such placements over single men. (Again, I might be wrong, but it seems to be the case in the churches I've seen, unless it's a youth pastor -- and even then, most I've known were married or got married within a few years.)

It's unfortunate, but there is a bias against single men working with children, meaning that single men will often not be chosen for positions that many single women are often seen filling -- such as teaching children.

I don't think many parents are comfortable having men teach their young children (and if they did, married men would be seen as "safer" than single men, which is unfair but what most people seem to believe.)

Of course I realize there are social reasons for these beliefs, and of course, women can be a danger to others as well, but it appears that churches understandably go with what they think will be the "least problematic" candidates.

It's a sad thing, but I don't know if there are many churches that actually let single men have much leadership in any area -- which hurts both the church, and single men looking for an outlet to put their leadership skills into practice.

I had a guy friend who was always volunteering for this and that, but it was all busy work. It seems the staff had their own choice circle of those they wanted to keep in the "real" positions, and he was an outsider.

Discouraged, he finally left, because he was never allowed more responsibility, even though he asked and worked hard for it.
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Interesting.
My observation our church is not women heavy, but it is only one church. We don't like women to teach adults. So pastors, elders are all men. Which i agree.

I just have not seen a man, never married, took on big responsibility for long periods of time.

Many college young men or in their 20s 30s are given important roles to lead youth, or college group. Then they got married, then they took on bigger roles later in life.

For men never married and later in 30s, 40s, 50s? Very small population, hardly any, my observation is they are quiet, if any.

most men in church had, have marriage history.
 
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