Should I force Sunday school on my son?

[Lanolin]

Is it the children minister taking his class? You could talk to the teacher or couple taking his class and say my son is feeling a bit anxious. Other children in the class may have the same feelings...they are common amongst many children.

And teachers wont single him out or anything but if they are good teachers they'll try to incorporate acknowledging childrens fears into the lesson and most importantly what we can do about them (i.e PRAY) as we are meant to cast all our cares upon God for He cares for us.

 

[Lanolin]

from what you've posted it just seems you son is worried about you.

Kids pick up on things especially if their parents arent happy. Not just not wanting to go sunday school but being apart from parents means they dont know whats going on. When parents fight or leave with no explanation they dont know what to do about it either. Then they fear the future cos they dont know if one day they will live here or somewhere else and they have no choice about it.
Its a real thing, doesnt mean the child themselves is wrong pyshcologically. Nothing is wrong with the way they try and cope to process all this and if that means keeping an eye on the one parent they have at all times then they'll do it. A 9 year old cant do anything about their parent abandoning them but to stop it from happening they might not want to let you out of their sight and be all clingy.

 

[KarynLouise]

from what you've posted it just seems you son is worried about you.

Kids pick up on things especially if their parents arent happy. Not just not wanting to go sunday school but being apart from parents means they dont know whats going on. When parents fight or leave with no explanation they dont know what to do about it either. Then they fear the future cos they dont know if one day they will live here or somewhere else and they have no choice about it.
Its a real thing, doesnt mean the child themselves is wrong pyshcologically. Nothing is wrong with the way they try and cope to process all this and if that means keeping an eye on the one parent they have at all times then they'll do it. A 9 year old cant do anything about their parent abandoning them but to stop it from happening they might not want to let you out of their sight and be all clingy.

You're right. He worries about me.

 

[Handyman62]

One of the worst thing parents can do to their children is to divorce. It will always have a negative effect on the children. The best thing you could do is reconcile with your husband and put your family back together.

 

[KarynLouise]

One of the worst thing parents can do to their children is to divorce. It will always have a negative effect on the children. The best thing you could do is reconcile with your husband and put your family back together.

That's not happening. It would actually not be best because my husband is mentally unstable and it became dangerous for us to be there. Besides, he has a girlfriend now.

 

[Handyman62]

That's not happening. It would actually not be best because my husband is mentally unstable and it became dangerous for us to be there. Besides, he has a girlfriend now.

I don't buy it. To many married women will say anything to justify their bad decisions. Besides scripture doesn't support that excuse anyway.
Not to mention you married man brought a child into the world, then decided the father was unstable. Why didn't you find out he was unstable before all that?
Perhaps you need to look within yourself for the fault and not the childs father.

 

[tourist]

That's not happening. It would actually not be best because my husband is mentally unstable and it became dangerous for us to be there. Besides, he has a girlfriend now.

Guy is a jerk for sure. Put this guy in your rearview mirror and don't look back. Seems to me that you are doing a good job moving forward with your life. No wife has to tolerate a cheater for a husband.

 

[KarynLouise]

I don't buy it. To many married women will say anything to justify their bad decisions. Besides scripture doesn't support that excuse anyway.
Not to mention you married man brought a child into the world, then decided the father was unstable. Why didn't you find out he was unstable before all that?
Perhaps you need to look within yourself for the fault and not the childs father.

Well, the violence didn't start until 4 years into our marriage. I didn't divorce him over that. That was a sickness. I did keep my son safe. However, when he got a girlfriend and asked for a divorce, i let him go. See? Because it is biblical when he's been unfaithful? And I'm not working through all of the abuse for someone who has another woman. But thanks for your vote of confidence.

 

[Handyman62]

Well, the violence didn't start until 4 years into our marriage. I didn't divorce him over that. That was a sickness. I did keep my son safe. However, when he got a girlfriend and asked for a divorce, i let him go. See? Because it is biblical when he's been unfaithful? And I'm not working through all of the abuse for someone who has another woman. But thanks for your vote of confidence.

Then if he left you I apologize.

 

[JStates]

Be careful with "professional" counselors. If for some crazy reason, Child Protective Services were to ever be involved with you or your child's life, CPS has the power to go to that counselor and demand every note that he/she has . . . and they WILL use any and all information against you. They will twist it and turn it into a fairy-tale that could ruin your life. I found out the hard way, but with Adult Protective Services. The Government is corrupt and they will use you like a battery that makes their machines operate. It's all about power and money. Many, many people are paid when these agencies get involved. Lawyers, guardians, judges, court clerks, organizations that issue mental evaluations, CPS, Attorney General . . . it is unbelievable how many people are paid if they can manufacture a story that makes YOU and or your child look bad.

I will never, never consider counseling for the rest of my life.

The Bible says, as a principle, not to go to secular courts or judges to decide matters between Christians. Since we have the Holy Spirit, we should be able to work out such things among ourselves in a just manner.

Likewise I don't think the Christian parent would be wise to subcontract their parental responsibilities to a secular counselor.

100% in agreement with you here.

 

[JStates]

Well, the violence didn't start until 4 years into our marriage. I didn't divorce him over that. That was a sickness. I did keep my son safe. However, when he got a girlfriend and asked for a divorce, i let him go. See? Because it is biblical when he's been unfaithful? And I'm not working through all of the abuse for someone who has another woman. But thanks for your vote of confidence.

Single moms can raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord very successfully. It is admittedly much harder without someone helping you to do so and providing a positive male role model, but it can be done.

 

[PennEd]

Well, the violence didn't start until 4 years into our marriage. I didn't divorce him over that. That was a sickness. I did keep my son safe. However, when he got a girlfriend and asked for a divorce, i let him go. See? Because it is biblical when he's been unfaithful? And I'm not working through all of the abuse for someone who has another woman. But thanks for your vote of confidence.

I’m terribly sorry you went through all that.

May God help and protect you. You come across as Godly woman. I hope you are not afraid to reach out for help from those around you.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

The Bible says, as a principle, not to go to secular courts or judges to decide matters between Christians. Since we have the Holy Spirit, we should be able to work out such things among ourselves in a just manner.

Likewise I don't think the Christian parent would be wise to subcontract their parental responsibilities to a secular counselor.

100% in agreement with you here.

What makes sense to me is that we stop playing games; stop messing around with the Christian Faith and finally just submit to Christ. This means to dedicate our lives to Him; to learn all that we can of His Word. Total devotion to the degree that we can refer to ourselves as True Slaves to our Master, Jesus Christ.

Our Asking, Seeking, and Knocking should never end. Anyone who has Truly been enlightened to the Actual word of God will live in daily awe and amazement of the Lord and His Power.

Our belief system must be reasonable and rational. How can we know that it is? When we begin to Truly share the Gospel of Christ. When we are able to Share, it means that we're Confident. When we're Confident, it comes through Obedience. And why would a person Obey? Because they have Submitted to Christ. And who Submits to Christ? The person who has a proper Belief in Christ.

BSOCS - Believe, Submit, Obey, Confidence, Share.

When we Believe rightly, we will Submit. When we Submit, we will Obey. When we Obey, we become Confident and when we're Confident, we will Share the Gospel . . . but more, we will share everything about ourselves and our lives for the betterment of others.

 

[TheLearner]

My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.

You are the parent. It is your responsibility to make him do what is good for him.

 

[blueluna5]

My son hates leaving the house. He's 9. He threw the biggest fit about going to church this morning. I feel like it's because he wants to stay home and play games or watch YouTube. The problem is that he makes himself so upset to try to convince me to let him stay home. He says he's in pain, that I hate him, and he cries. Once we get there, he calms down, has a good time, and is smiling when we leave. So do I force it on him, or worry that I really am hurting him to make him go through all of this agony to get there? I think I need to get him into counseling, but I'm trying to figure out how to do that with his insurance right now.

"He hates leaving the house. " he's only 9. That doesn't seem right. I think you should look into this more. Maybe he has severe anxiety around people or because of covid. Maybe the kids are mean to him there. If he really doesn't like leaving the house and only plays video games, these are signs of depression. At 9. I would look into this more.

If it's only church and he's fine going to say the trampoline park, he's playing you. 😆 don't give in or he'll keep doing it. "You can go to church willingly for free or go by me carrying you to the car for a price." The price would be no video games for the day. Consequences should be short and don't need to be a week. It strains the relationship and doesn't accomplish the purpose.

 

[1ofthem]

I don't buy it. To many married women will say anything to justify their bad decisions. Besides scripture doesn't support that excuse anyway.
Not to mention you married man brought a child into the world, then decided the father was unstable. Why didn't you find out he was unstable before all that?
Perhaps you need to look within yourself for the fault and not the childs father.

It's terrible to judge others like that without even knowing them or their situation.

Perhaps you should look within yourself before making such swift judgments on others.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

I don't buy it. To many married women will say anything to justify their bad decisions. Besides scripture doesn't support that excuse anyway.
Not to mention you married man brought a child into the world, then decided the father was unstable. Why didn't you find out he was unstable before all that?
Perhaps you need to look within yourself for the fault and not the childs father.

Wow. Are you going through some hard times or what? That was really uncalled for.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

It's terrible to judge others like that without even knowing them or their situation.

Perhaps you should look within yourself before making such swift judgments on others.

... yes, but as is the case too, we also need to understand a person's past and their current spiritual state before offering any advice and support. It's not unusual to come across dysfunctional families, sadly they are starting to become in the majority it seems.

In this case there's a son of a previous relationship to the one that just broke up, that wants nothing to do with the OP, and now a second and younger son that appears unsettled.

I'm not saying there has been any kind of bad parenting or bad decision making, but if someone facing the OP's challenges came into any assembly I had influence in, then I would be insisting that they join up to a fellowship group overseen by a pastor and his wife who would be sympathetic to the OP's situation, and maybe even empathetic to it. As well as providing upfront practical support and advice, their task would be to work with the OP to help them unravel all that has happened that has led to their relationship problems, then help them put their and their children's lives back on a level and straight path that would enable them all to have lives to the Godly full.

 

[KarynLouise]

... yes, but as is the case too, we also need to understand a person's past and their current spiritual state before offering any advice and support. It's not unusual to come across dysfunctional families, sadly they are starting to become in the majority it seems.

In this case there's a son of a previous relationship to the one that just broke up, that wants nothing to do with the OP, and now a second and younger son that appears unsettled.

I'm not saying there has been any kind of bad parenting or bad decision making, but if someone facing the OP's challenges came into any assembly I had influence in, then I would be insisting that they join up to a fellowship group overseen by a pastor and his wife who would be sympathetic to the OP's situation, and maybe even empathetic to it. As well as providing upfront practical support and advice, their task would be to work with the OP to help them unravel all that has happened that has led to the relationship problems, then help them put their and their children's lives back on a level and straight path that would enable them all to have lives to the Godly full.

Thank you. I do have a very dramatic history, no matter what the extent is of my blame. Obviously we've had a hard time because of my youngest's dad's mental health, new relationship, and moving a lot. Of course there's more to it than what's here, so he does have every right to be looking for stability and all. I'm planning to seek out a Christian counselor because I need some professional help to try to make sure I'm doing the best I can for him. I got some great resources from the children's ministry team today. I do wish I could just delete this thread altogether. When I posted, I was trying to figure out if he was pushing my buttons or if this was a real problem for him, but the more I've thought about it and prayed about it, I need more than a discussion forum could offer me. God bless you all! Thanks for chiming in.

 

[ChristianTonyB]

Thank you. I do have a very dramatic history, no matter what the extent is of my blame. Obviously we've had a hard time because of my youngest's dad's mental health, new relationship, and moving a lot. Of course there's more to it than what's here, so he does have every right to be looking for stability and all. I'm planning to seek out a Christian counselor because I need some professional help to try to make sure I'm doing the best I can for him. I got some great resources from the children's ministry team today. I do wish I could just delete this thread altogether. When I posted, I was trying to figure out if he was pushing my buttons or if this was a real problem for him, but the more I've thought about it and prayed about it, I need more than a discussion forum could offer me. God bless you all! Thanks for chiming in.

No one is accusing you KL, or has the right to pick up rocks. It's all about helping you get through your situation, and you and your children having rewarding lives and experiences. I wish I knew of a fellowship that would respect your dignity and privacy, and that is led by a pastoral oversight that you could trust in to treat you well and fairly, and help you and your son move on. I don't, but maybe there is someone reading these posts that does, and that ideally is in the area where you live, and who could pass contact information on to you for your consideration. May the peace of God be with you and your son. 🙂