Should I kill myself and just hope for the best?

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I don't know that nor feel it. I do believe in a creator but I do not think he loves anything or he would make the nightmare stop or never allowed it to start

I am not sure what you're asking. All my joints hurt and my skeleton. is twisted
What specifically are your diagnosed medical problems from a doctors exam?
 
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I don't know that nor feel it. I do believe in a creator but I do not think he loves anything or he would make the nightmare stop or never allowed it to start

I am not sure what you're asking. All my joints hurt and my skeleton. is twisted
I'm so sorry for your physical pain , there r many people who live in similar and even worse circumstances , however I do know that constant pain can really cause people great emotional distress , anger , bitterness etc , I know from my own experience . I hope u r able to access some decent health care and get help with your discomfort . I know that without my pain killers I would b miserable .
 
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This truth may surely effect those that are effected by depression.

'This truth actually happened with a dear family member many years ago when I
was in school. Rest her soul, but my aunt was under doctor's care for several 'ailments",
but once she turned to God, her "ailments" seemed to be gone and she became
reliant on God and the doctor lost her as a client. God became her "physician" and
she no longer was on her "medicine".
 
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Should I kill myself and just hope for the best? Or? Why am I alive? Why was I born stupid and evil and broken and helpless and unloved and why won't any of the basic Christian platitudes of God fixing this awful murderous hell someday actually comfort me, here, in hell, waiting for something to kill me, and no point purpose or hope to continuing to exist but still scared to die?
I get it, I am actually in the same place. I find myself hopeful and dreading life all at the same time. The only comfort is often that I don't have the will to life but a desire to live, I think that is the Holy Spirit giving us strength beyond ourselves.
like peace beyond understanding is just that, peace that does not make sense, or even feel like peace at times. sometimes it is just stability, God's strength in our weakest moments when we can't even see it yet.

I am so sorry though. all I can say is that you are not alone, and what will help for now is being honest about those ugly thoughts with someone who has faith. and just take some time to get it all out before you seek to 'fix it'.

There is a time to mourn after all, so take that time to mourn, be honest, and then bring it to God through prayer, like all the ugly thoughts. This was my first step and it helped so much, because then I was able to ask for help finding scripture that can help me in these areas.

I am not saying that now I think the world is sunshine and rainbows. But when I have serious grief I don't resort to cutting myself anymore or needing the 811 line, and I thank God for that, especially since so many pillars in my life are crumbling through betrayal etc ...
I just say that because you should know that God will meat you in the storm, He is with you, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Another thing I thought of when you wrote this was from a woman who realized that for christian's life on earth is the closest to hell we will ever be/ experience and for those who are lost this is the closest to heaven they will ever be.

God doesn't want us to be in pain though, evil is an result of this fallen world. Jeremiah 29:11 he knows the plans he has for you, ones to prosper and not harm us

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This is a promise that I have been clinging on to, because I don't feel much hope or when I do it is linked to one specific instant and when it is done it seems to fade. But we can't trust our own hearts because of how desperately sick they are (Jeremiah 17:9)
 
I'm really sorry you're carrying this much pain. Reading your posts, it doesn't sound like you're looking for clichés. It sounds like you're exhausted from living with constant pain and feeling like you've run out of hope.

I don't know exactly what you're going through, but I do understand something about what constant pain can do to a person. I've been in a place where the pain never seemed to stop, where no medication really helped and all I wished for was even a short moment without pain. It wears you down physically, emotionally and spiritually.

That's one reason your words don't make me think you're stupid, evil, weak or beyond help. They make me think you're someone who has been suffering for a long time and carrying an overwhelming burden.

If you're seriously thinking about ending your life, please don't stay alone with those thoughts. Tell someone you trust today. A friend, a family member, your doctor or a crisis service in your country. You deserve to be taken seriously and you deserve support.

As a Christian, I don't believe your value depends on how much you can do or how broken you feel. Even if you can't feel God's presence right now, your life still has worth. I won't tell you that a Bible verse will magically make the pain disappear, but I do hope you'll let other people walk through this darkness with you instead of facing it alone.

I'll be praying for you and I genuinely hope you'll stay with us today.
 
Should I kill myself and just hope for the best? Or? Why am I alive? Why was I born stupid and evil and broken and helpless and unloved and why won't any of the basic Christian platitudes of God fixing this awful murderous hell someday actually comfort me, here, in hell, waiting for something to kill me, and no point purpose or hope to continuing to exist but still scared to die?

@Cory85,

I am so sorry you are going through this.

There are so many wonderful, caring people who have answered you here much better than I could, but I want you to know, you aren't alone in feeling this way.

Many of us have gone through these feelings too.

I know it's hard to hear, but may God bless you as you work through this. (When I felt the way you are describing, that was the last thing I wanted to hear because I certainly didn't feel God's blessing at the time.)

But there are people here who care and are praying for you!

Please keep us posted on how you're doing, and have a look around the forum to see if there are other conversations you'd like to join in on.
 
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This truth may surely effect those that are effected by depression.
That's so true!! I was about to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia which is just a term that denotes chronic pain that science can't find. After my stress dropped, the pain stopped. I was in and out of the hospital multiple times a week with my hair falling out. It's crazy what happens to the body under stress/depression/anxiety.
 

John 10:10
New International Version
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.​

 
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I don't know that nor feel it. I do believe in a creator but I do not think he loves anything or he would make the nightmare stop or never allowed it to start

I am not sure what you're asking. All my joints hurt and my skeleton. is twisted

We are praying for you and my heart goes out to you.
Sorry if I seemed insensitive in my first post. I just hope you will not look to suicide as an option. It might be hard to believe, but as bad as you now feel that won't bring relief.

It might have taken a while to get to the place you are now, so it might take a while for healing to take place. A forum like this may offer encouragement and point you in a direction, but you need one on one help directly.

Sore joints and a twisted spine sounds painful. Are you talking an auto accident, scoliosis or arthritis?

Pain often results from inflammation and toxins.
Eliminate the toxins, including the bad food and add the good stuff, then the body responds to get back towards normal. That's an oversimplification, but a common principle.
For instance, if I eat junk food and certain oils, wheat, I can create unbearable pain and set up a cascade to recover. I would not recover until making positive changes. That's why I'm going to take a fish oil gelcap shortly and get to sleep hopefully ASAP. Tomorrow you and I both need morning sunshine and fresh air. That's free. Movement that you are able to do, like perhaps walking will lubricate stiff joints and usually results in pain relief more than sitting and sedentary . I'm not judging, just that you need encouragement to get moving in a positive direction.

The sunlight on skin and fresh air is free and sometimes works better than meds according to a recent study. I'm not talking about a midday burn, but a earlier morning time outside before it gets intense. Start right now after getting plenty of water to drink. Go for a walk or if chair bound, go where you can safely.

Another is sugar.
If you want to feel awful and get really sore, drink soda pop.
Of course you don't, but some people are addicted to it and don't know why their health declines.
That messes people up faster than a lot of things. Rather than suffer, drink lots of water and a pinch of salt in a glass to flush toxins and rehydrate. Eventually that also relieves pain in a lot of people. That's doable and is covered by the EBT card if you receive that benefit.

There's plenty of info to apply along with my first post so you can have a home in Heaven with God's help right now.
 
Should I kill myself and just hope for the best? Or? Why am I alive? Why was I born stupid and evil and broken and helpless and unloved and why won't any of the basic Christian platitudes of God fixing this awful murderous hell someday actually comfort me, here, in hell, waiting for something to kill me, and no point purpose or hope to continuing to exist but still scared to die?
 
Should I kill myself and just hope for the best? Or? Why am I alive? Why was I born stupid and evil and broken and helpless and unloved and why won't any of the basic Christian platitudes of God fixing this awful murderous hell someday actually comfort me, here, in hell, waiting for something to kill me, and no point purpose or hope to continuing to exist but still scared to die?
It is easy to ask, must i kill myself because there is no hope. I have been there, I still have those thoughts daily. It is the easier way out. after all there is no hope for a better life here or in the future. but let me tell you this. u not going to like it. God wont change you because then he is interfering in your free will. u must make the change, then God will stand by you. help you, guide you. but always, when it comes to God you must take the first step. I have no idea what is wrong in your life. You are not born stupid. again my experience. i made bad choices. i made the mistakes. I NEEDED TO CHANGE. God is waiting for you, Christ is there to forgive you of what ever u have done wrong. no evil is greater than Christs forgiveness. I did bad things. really bad, the worst you can imagine. i thought there is no hope for forgiveness. For many years it ate me up that i felt i was not worthy of forgiveness. but i am glad to say I was wrong, you must just open your heart and soul to the possibility of forgiveness. there is not going to be flashing lights and happiness. Small steps. continues steps, never giving up. Slowly you will feel the light returning to your life. Falling down but standing up again. Asking God and the people around you for help and strength. asking Christ forgive you so your mind can be at peace and you will slowly receive clarity of thought. that feeling stupid will go away because Christ will give u clarity. You got a tuff path ahead. nobody , not God, not Christ is going to make you do things different. IT is all going to be you.
Some advice. Every time something good happens, thank God. no matter how small, don't just as for things, develop a relationship. like a girlfriend u need to work hard to get into a relationship. Asking the potential for things all the time wont open the door to her heart Same with God. I thank God for the nights sleep. the water i drink. the beautiful day, the new friends in my life, over and over. You can never thank God and Christ to much. Slowly you will start to feel the change, u wake up smiling, you go to sleep with peaceful thoughts. again it is a long road, you ever need advice let me know, i have know idea if there is a way you can do that, You got a very bumpy road ahead. dont give up. ask forgiveness all the time. talk to God all the time. ASk Christ for forgiveness all the time. u have a bad thought say sorry and ask forgiveness.The light will start to get brighter. Good luck my friend
 
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Hi! @Cory85
I may not know your story or what you're carrying, but I want you to hear this you are loved, and you matter.
You matter to us simply because you are a person created with purpose and worth. But even more importantly, you matter to God. His love for you isn't based on your circumstances, your mistakes, or how you feel today. He sees you completely, loves you unconditionally, and hasn't forgotten you.
Whatever you're facing, I pray you hold on to the truth that you are never alone. May God surround you with His peace, strengthen your heart, and remind you that your life is precious and u are deeply loved.

God bless you ♥️♥️♥️
 
Should I kill myself and just hope for the best? Or? Why am I alive? Why was I born stupid and evil and broken and helpless and unloved and why won't any of the basic Christian platitudes of God fixing this awful murderous hell someday actually comfort me, here, in hell, waiting for something to kill me, and no point purpose or hope to continuing to exist but still scared to die?
No don’t kill yourself just keep praying
 
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John 8:31-32
New International Version
31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
 
I was in new age/occult last year. I nearly lost my life. It was our merciful God that was preventing it, not long after the veil was lifted, I was shown the truth. The enemy really does come to steal, kill and destroy. I have oppression and it is a struggle, it is a fight. There is a spiritual war going on. I left the new age/ occult 7 months ago. I pray for strength and guidence. It is the enemy throwing his fiery darts. Corey fight against it, dont stop praying and reading scriptures. I am still only at the beginning of my walk, and find it helpful buying bible study books.

I have a small book I made for achievements every 3 months from January. Im now onto July - September. Over the past 6 months I have surprised myself, even if the achievements seem small, they are huge for me.

Here is a photo of the first bible study book I got handed to me at my church. Its very basic.

1783080555928.png
 
Ephesians 6:12
New International Version
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Proverbs 6:5
New International Version
5 Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

Romans 10:9
New International Version
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.