When I was single, I never experienced being hit on by a married man.
As a married woman, I’ve never been hit on by a single or married man.
As a married woman, I’ve never been hit on by a single or married man.
Hmm...Reading the poll answers again I want to add:
I'm single and wouldn't realize that anyone was hitting on me unless they were using a sledgehammer.
There is a phrase for what that pastor did. Pastorbating. You see pastors are not naturally strong men. They havent won a fist fight. They will berate a group of docile christian men about abusing their wives "and these men are not". But would they have the testicles to talk like that to a group of actual violent abusive criminals? No. They are cowards.Your point is VERY well said in that each single persons experience is going to be different, in the same manner that each church is different. I am a lifelong single male, and no I have not been hit on by married women, whether at church or other social settings. That being said, 'inappropriate behavior' as you suggest can come in many different forms.
For example, and this happened some time ago, but I once met one on one with a pastor at a church I had started attending. The first words out of his mouth (laced with contempt) were 'women do not like you'.
Reason I mention this is that 'marginalizing' or even 'harassing' behavior towards singles comes in different forms, not just in terms of being 'hit on' by married individuals.
In my opinion, the church experience (whether married or single) should base itself around what I like to refer to as the 'one another's':
Hebrews 3:13: encourage 'one another' daily
Galatians 5:13: serve 'one another' in love
Ephesians 4:32: 'be kind and compassionate to 'one another'
Church leadership needs to take the type of servant based mentality and be the first to set this type of example, again whether towards married or single individuals.
Even if i had and hes not that way he would b the exception to the rule. These guys become full time preachers because they are not going to make it in the work force. And my comment was based on someguys comment. Not your pastor.You have obviously never met my pastor.![]()
How rude!These guys become full time preachers because they are not going to make it in the work force.
Yep they are really hard workersHow rude!
Every pastor I know in our church organization works harder than most of the laity I know. Being a minister ain't for lazy people. It also ain't for sissies.
Yeah, no, you have DEFINITELY not met any of the pastors in my church organization.Yep they are really hard workersguys who cant tell women no, up to and including their wives are the definition of sissies.
Most people had full time jobs for years before retiring. That does not make retired people hard workers. I personally cannot believe full time ministry work is a paid job. They are not catholic priests doing mass every day. They speak on average 1x a week 1x a month. How that justifies a full time salary i have no idea.I’m grateful for the pastors I’ve had in my life. All of them had full time jobs for years before they became pastors.
Most people had full time jobs for years before retiring. That does not make retired people hard workers. I personally cannot believe full time ministry work is a paid job. They are not catholic priests doing mass every day. They speak on average 1x a week 1x a month. How that justifies a full time salary i have no idea.
Hey Everyone,
A discussion in another thread had me thinking about how Christian singles are often seen in the church as a wild, partying, loosey-goosey kind of bunch who are always out doing all kinds of immoral things in order to attract dates or potential spouses.
Now, I certainly appreciate that we all need a reminder to keep our focus on God, but this had me pondering the opposite side of the coin -- How common is it for the single (unmarried) people here to have been hit on by those who were married or attached to someone? And if so, how have other singles dealt with it?
If you'll give me just a few minutes, I'm going to write a poll to try to establish how common this is among our current Single Forum crowd. This poll is anonymous and multiple choice, so feel free to check all that apply.
And as you can see from the poll, for this thread, I am defining single as "unmarried", because I am also interested in hearing from those who might be in a relationship, but have also encountered others who have hit on them while knowing they were already attached to someone.
I'm always grateful for the option to write polls here, but please note that the poll only allows a certain number of options. Inevitably, someone will always ask, "Why didn't you include this or that?" but it might very well be that the author simply ran out of spaces that the system allows.
Singles in churches are often treated as if they will be the ones who are always on the verge of committing immoral acts, so in this case, I would like to have a discussion about the flip side of this assumption. Please check out the poll, check whatever answers fit your situation, and let's discuss your observations and experiences here, such as:
* Have you, as an unmarried single, ever been hit on by someone who was married or in a relationship?
* Have you ever been in a relationship and hit on by someone who knew you were with someone else, but just didn't care?
* How have you handled these situations?
Even if this hasn't happened to you directly, feel free to tell us about other situations you may have observed or know have happened to others in your life, or tell us what you would do if it happened to you.
All are welcome to give their input.
* For our married friends who take the time out of their busy schedules to visit us here -- what advice would you give to singles who are unwillingly being pursued by someone who is not supposed to be pursuing them?
Please note that I am certainly not saying that there aren't times when the single person isn't at fault, or flirted with someone who was married or attached, or gave them reason to believe there was something between them.
BUT, for the sake of THIS discussion, let's talk about the times when single people are dealing with unwanted attention from someone who is married or already in a relationship with someone else.
I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts and advice!
Most people had full time jobs for years before retiring. That does not make retired people hard workers. I personally cannot believe full time ministry work is a paid job. They are not catholic priests doing mass every day. They speak on average 1x a week 1x a month. How that justifies a full time salary i have no idea.