Hi, I believe in Jesus but I don't feel loved by or any love for God or my neighbors. We're all screwed and it's God's fault for making awful creatures like humans in the first place as far as I can tell. I didn't ask for an innocent miracle worker to get murdered for my sins, I want to be something that is not evil. Anyway, I'm on the verge of suicide and all conventional methods have failed (meds, counseling, studying scripture, attending churches etc).
Any advice here on what to do with a life besides consume stuff til it kills me, or why Jesus hasn't healed my body, heart, mind, or spirit, and or given me any instructions except go get crucified at the hands of an evil government?