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Siberian_Khatru
Guest
Any recommendations? I couldn't get into what I heard, but it could have been more on the recent side.
You know, being honest... I stay up at night sometimes. It always seems to be a reflective and emotional time. ...and I want to say, I loved her. I really did. We had the closest thing to an intimate relationship I've ever known. Her name is Hannah.
I gave her up, and should God bring me to such a place again, I pray I would always choose Him. It still hurts, though... It's been 5 years now, and her memories can still make me hurt and cry sometimes...not in some despairing way...but because that really was the closest thing I'd ever had to what a real, loving, intimate relationship on a daily basis must be like...And those feelings are still strong, deep, real... I relive those moments when I think of them.
I don't know about relationships... I've always wanted something like that so deeply...and yet I'm at the place where I'm not really looking anymore...but those dreams and desires...are too strong to kill. I don't know what God has in mind, and I hear people pray for me and a lady He may have in store for me... I hear all the advice, and I'm grateful...but I just don't know.
It hasn't worked out something like 16 times now... That's a lot of heartbreak...but none of them were anything like what I had with Hannah... I miss that bitterly. I hope she's well, and was well last I knew. I just wanted to "say this out loud" for a change.
I gave her up, and should God bring me to such a place again, I pray I would always choose Him. It still hurts, though... It's been 5 years now, and her memories can still make me hurt and cry sometimes...not in some despairing way...but because that really was the closest thing I'd ever had to what a real, loving, intimate relationship on a daily basis must be like...And those feelings are still strong, deep, real... I relive those moments when I think of them.
I don't know about relationships... I've always wanted something like that so deeply...and yet I'm at the place where I'm not really looking anymore...but those dreams and desires...are too strong to kill. I don't know what God has in mind, and I hear people pray for me and a lady He may have in store for me... I hear all the advice, and I'm grateful...but I just don't know.
It hasn't worked out something like 16 times now... That's a lot of heartbreak...but none of them were anything like what I had with Hannah... I miss that bitterly. I hope she's well, and was well last I knew. I just wanted to "say this out loud" for a change.
Isn't it hard when one person sets the standard and raises the bar forever? What the heck do you do after that happens? I wonder if, over time, we tend to immortalize that person a bit, forgetting the reasons it wouldn't have worked in favor of all the wonderful things. Memories are like that sometimes, for me at least. I'm sorry that you lost that deep connection though. I hope that God will make his will for you clear, whatever it is. Anything can happen over the next 70 years or so.
Isn't it hard when one person sets the standard and raises the bar forever? What the heck do you do after that happens? I wonder if, over time, we tend to immortalize that person a bit, forgetting the reasons it wouldn't have worked in favor of all the wonderful things. Memories are like that sometimes, for me at least. I'm sorry that you lost that deep connection though. I hope that God will make his will for you clear, whatever it is. Anything can happen over the next 70 years or so.
You're very kind, and a good friend, Grace. Thank you.
I remember an elder pastor who said he always wakes up at about 1:30am. He asked God why did he wake up then, and God answered, "Because this is the only time I can talk to you without distractions." So he prays for a while and goes back to sleep.
What am I doing up at this hour? Nothing so spiritual. I ate too much grease for breakfast, lunch and supper, and now I'm up with indigestion.
Maybe I'll go pray.
What am I doing up at this hour? Nothing so spiritual. I ate too much grease for breakfast, lunch and supper, and now I'm up with indigestion.
Maybe I'll go pray.
So I was idly scanning the main forum board...
Christian Singles, last post in a thread 1 hour ago.
Christian News, last post in a thread 2 hours ago.
Poems and Poetry, last post in a thread 13 hours ago.
Christian Music, last post in a thread 18 minutes ago (from me.)
Bible Discussions, last post in a thread 1 minute ago.
Wait... what? Don't they ever sleep in the argument forum?
"What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!"
Christian Singles, last post in a thread 1 hour ago.
Christian News, last post in a thread 2 hours ago.
Poems and Poetry, last post in a thread 13 hours ago.
Christian Music, last post in a thread 18 minutes ago (from me.)
Bible Discussions, last post in a thread 1 minute ago.
Wait... what? Don't they ever sleep in the argument forum?
"What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!"
Hold on..... don't YOU ever sleep?
Now I wonder who was that poster in the BD forum.
What if Lynx has been arguing in the BD forum using different IDs?
Lynx, are you sure you don't suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder?
So I was idly scanning the main forum board...
Christian Singles, last post in a thread 1 hour ago.
Christian News, last post in a thread 2 hours ago.
Poems and Poetry, last post in a thread 13 hours ago.
Christian Music, last post in a thread 18 minutes ago (from me.)
Bible Discussions, last post in a thread 1 minute ago.
Wait... what? Don't they ever sleep in the argument forum?
"What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!"
So THAT'S why I can't sleep! Someone on the internet is wrong and I'm obviously awake so I can edjamacate them.
Brb gonna skool some peeps in the Bible Discussion Forum.
Do pray. And when you get back to your bed, try counting sheep.
1 sheep...
2 sheep...
3 sheep...
4 sheep....
5 sheep....
Well, you get the idea.
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wwjd_kilden
Guest
Hold on..... don't YOU ever sleep?
Now I wonder who was that poster in the BD forum.
What if Lynx has been arguing in the BD forum using different IDs?
Lynx, are you sure you don't suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder?
Nope, no profit in it. There would have to be a reason to do such a thing, a benefit to me or to someone else. What you suggest would only profit in the accumulation of ulcers, sounds like.
And wwjd_kilden, be sure to declare sheep_count as a long init. Although only nerds will get that sheep negative count joke. Most of the people here are too normal to get it.
Just attended a very awkward funeral, but am always amazed at how God can use tragedy for good.
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MissCris
Guest
I've been to an awkward funeral before...sorry you had to do that
But good point, God works in amazing ways
I've been to an awkward funeral before...sorry you had to do that
It's okay, it wasn't about me, and the crowd was maybe just a slightly rougher crowd than what I'm typically used to. But basically, my elderly next-door neighbors had an adult grandson living with them for awhile. I didn't see him often but had talked to him several times, and he even offered to mow my lawn for me this past summer and ended up doing that almost all summer when I had two mowers break down. This guy took his life a week ago, and it stunned all of his friends, his grandparents, and his other family.
I don't know them super well, but I wanted to be at the funeral. The awkwardness was mainly because the pastor was this Baptist guy close to 80 years old, and said some great things but kind of talked about himself and stories from his past a lot of the time. Also, there were two rambunctious little girls whose mom ended up taking them out into the hallway, and one of them went on a complete tirade for most of the rest of the service (dad did absolutely nothing and stayed in the service...lol--he needs some dad coaching). And then they played like 80's rock and metal music during the visitation, and also when people were going up to pay their last respects. I suppose it was because this guy liked that kind of music, and I have no problem with the music (it made me smile when I first walked in), but it was kind of a jarring series of events when the pastor said he was turning it back over to the funeral home direction, but no one from the mortuary came up and said anything about what was happening next, and then all of a sudden this kind of dark-sounding metal music starts playing and they just start ushering people to walk up front. There was also a lady who was part of the family who seemed to be having a particularly hard time, and started wailing and yelling (which I totally understand, but I had never seen that happen at a funeral before and it just kind of added to that weird series of events at the end).
I feel like with most funerals that I've been to, even with people who have passed away around my age, I've left feeling a little bit better or feeling that sense of closure. While I was still struck and moved when I heard of his passing, it maybe wasn't as difficult for me personally because I didn't know him super well, but I just thought as I left that if I were a close friend or family member, I'm not sure that I would have left feeling any better about anything. But that could just be me.
Man, I'm really chatty/wordy today.
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Siberian_Khatru
Guest
How is it a body can produce so much mucus?! At least I'm getting an ab workout from all this coughing.
On a lighter note...kitteh!
On a lighter note...kitteh!
