Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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My friend totally metaphorically just smacked me in the face, but in the best way possible. Basically reminded me that I need to talk about my feelings. She's so right. They've been weighing on me like a ton of bricks.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
Basically reminded me that I need to talk about my feelings.
Don't you do that here? :D Do you tend to keep things under lock and key in person? I'm like that. Sometimes talking about what you're going through, or what you've already gone through, can be good for those listening, too. People relate to weakness.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
It's so hard to stay motivated at work. I see some people suffer zero repercussions for their lax work ethic. It causes me to feel like "if so-and-so can get away with so much (or with doing so little), why should I invest so much energy into my job?" Which is such a cop out on my end. But what bothers me most about it is not seeing other people's laziness, it's my reaction to it. I don't want to model my work ethic on someone else out of some half witted presupposition of mine on what's fair, i.e., "If he doesn't take his job seriously, why should I?"

Grow up, Siberian_Khatru (and find a new job).
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
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hello. my name is melita, and i mentally clock out from my job 30 mins to an hour before i'm supposed to. i also clock in 30 mins to an hour after i'm supposed to in the morning.

oops.
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Don't you do that here? :D Do you tend to keep things under lock and key in person? I'm like that. Sometimes talking about what you're going through, or what you've already gone through, can be good for those listening, too. People relate to weakness.

Yep. A LOT. And I don't even share as much as you think I do on here. I do tend to share more on here, but it barely scratches the surface.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,933
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hello. my name is melita, and i mentally clock out from my job 30 mins to an hour before i'm supposed to. i also clock in 30 mins to an hour after i'm supposed to in the morning.

oops.
We all do ma'am. We all do. Don't worry.
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
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Today, I got called in the boss' office for my evaluation.

He knows I've been frustrated with getting behind on my paperwork after being sick, then booted off the computers due to them crashing all the time. He appreciates that I let people know so the proper "fix it" reports were made.

He knows that I have been communicating to my supervisor about any other late reports, and she knows that there has been a problem with the team's handling of information and lack of staying on the activity schedule without providing justification for any schedule adjustments. In fact, he's happy with my communication skills when dealing with superiors.

He also appreciates my communication skills in dealing with difficult family members and home staff of some of our participants. He knows that I have even stood up to home staff on behalf of the participant when needed. I have been able to get SSN's for employment purposes from paranoid family members who are reluctant to provide the needed information, and I've been able to handle a "helicopter parent" with tact, when no one else could.

He was kind of scared when I said that some of the "perks" of the job that attracted me to it five years ago when I interviewed don't apply as much now that my kids are older, such as the flexibility in the work schedule. Right now, a higher paying job makes sense, even if the schedule is more rigid.

He kind of got on my case about my mileage logs/audit trail (for timecard purposes), but they are doing that with everybody, since last quarter was not good financially for them. I defended each question with an explanation of subtracting my commute to the office and only charging the equivalent of the office to the pickup location if I did not stop by the office first. I also mentioned that HR has been very inconsistent with their answers when this question has come up numerous times. I also added that since we are to check messages by 7:00 a.m., there is confusion about when our day starts when we pick up somebody at 9:00 or 10:00 if we don't go to the office first. How we bill for the 7:00 message check, which can take anywhere from 3 to 15 minutes has never been explained. I see this as something that could bite HR in the future, but I didn't say anything about that (but really....this is the stuff that class action law suits are made of!)

Anyway, I had a good defense or explanation for the few things that were not positive on the eval, and for the most part, he appreciates that I'm the only one to put my bike rack and bicycle on my car before heading out and taking these developmentally disabled participants on the bike trail. And he loves that I recently developed a new volunteer position with an "Adopt a Mile" program along the American River.

I felt kind of like a jerk for turning some of the criticism back on human resources, but they have really been unclear on several issues. Anyway, I'm glad that he saw I was not a "time thief" and my audit trail did not have any intentional fudging. I felt bad for hinting about looking for other work, too....but he did ask.

Anyway...he wrote raving reviews. :)
 
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lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
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Is it possible to need to be more selfish? I know that sounds bad. But think about it...when you think so much about others you neglect yourself, and when you try to think about yourself you immediately stop trying to because that's being selfish...don't you think that's taking others into consideration too much?
 

Rachel20

Senior Member
May 7, 2013
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Thank you everyone, for the encouragement and kindness.


Deeply touched :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,933
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*Lynx adjusts his nerd glasses and prepares to render an expert opinion on two matters...

Yeah. Right.

lil_christian: I don't think it's possible for me to BE more selfish... Okay, okay, I'll be serious. I have heard of people who neglected their own families because they were so busy doing stuff for other people, stuff for church, everything except stuff for their own families. I'm reminded of a pastor who said when he started out in a town, starting a church was hard and he spent most of his spare time out knocking on doors, cutlivating friendships, anything he could to get a church congregation started. God had to take him to task for neglecting matters closer to home.


rachel: You sounded like you were trying to sing softly, and you sounded like you weren't very confident, and you sounded like you were continually worried that you would drop a note... and for all of that worry, you still held a good pitch. :cool: I'll be interested to hear what you can do once you gain some confidence in your singing. Try going out in the woods where nobody can hear you and seeing what your voice can really do. Then try singing around the house where maybe one or two people might hear you.

Also, find a voice that really moves you. Sing it until it no longer makes you cry. Then put that emotion in your voice. I think you have a voice that, if you use it properly, would be really good for songs that touch people's hearts.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
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it's past my bed time. but it's ok because i only work 4 hours tomorrow, so i can take a nap tomorrow afternoon ^_^
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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Is it possible to need to be more selfish? I know that sounds bad. But think about it...when you think so much about others you neglect yourself, and when you try to think about yourself you immediately stop trying to because that's being selfish...don't you think that's taking others into consideration too much?
Very possible to need to be "more selfish", especially with people who are heavily involved in ministry (and for introverts in an extraverted christian culture who really don't like being around people a lot even if they do fulfill the command to love others). It is not ungodly to take care of yourself. It is not ungodly to refuse to meet all the needs of others. If you are going to have long term viability, you need to figure out where your boundaries are and stick to them regardless of how unspiritual others think you are for doing so.

A wise person also said that everyone should have some Pauls, some Timothys, and some Barnabases in their life. Pauls speak into us and teach us, Timothys are the people we teach and pass stuff on to, and Barnabases are our peers and those who can be on our level and encourage us. Some of us task oriented types though, seem to crowd our lives with Timothys so we can feel useful and like we're earning our keep, and then we wonder why we feel alone and drained and stuff. I've said it to myself before and I'll say it again to others: You are not the savior, it's not your responsibility to fix everything for everyone.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
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Ok double posting because I didn't want my response to lil to get buried under my ranting:

It's probably not right that I want to treat my English teaching job as a side thing (I'm only doing 6 hours of class per week), but it really irks me that there seems to be no sense of boundaries with this job. Too many last minute changes in this country and aarrrgh it irks me. *grouse grouse, grumble grumble* Cinder why are you letting yourself get all bent out of shape over this stuff when it really doesn't matter much? Still trying to answer that question but I think a lot of it comes from the fact that I feel disrespected and sometimes I feel like people have come asking me for a favor then start trying to dictate how I'm going to give them that favor (which is probably not how they see it). And it doesn't fill me with any confidence at all when the boss who comes to observe and evaluate my teaching is confused about what my schedule is and what I'm doing and gives me only partial directions. Feels like if I care about doing a good job it will just drive me crazy and if I don't expend more than minimal effort people complain. Ok done ranting now. Thank you internet for always listening.
 
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Arlene89

Guest
Thank you everyone, for the encouragement and kindness.


Deeply touched :)
Rachel, I can't get over your avatar. That simply looks like all kinds of amazing. Looking at that and listening to that song was really enjoyable. :p